XANAX Support Blog: If you're tapering Xanax/alprazolam, join in the discussion!

[[mr...]]

Thanks TS for hanging around to help us newbies.

 

Tonight I joined the ranks of the taperers.  I made my first cut of .0625 tonight and hope to be able to stick to that every 14 days all the way down.  2 years of my life wasted tapering. Oh well, get on with it!

 

Congrats, Rabbit! I'll share with you something a wonderful doctor I found during w/d shared with me. She said, "Life is about breadth and depth, it is about seasons, it is about living to the fullest-whatever that means-whatever season you are in. It has long, sunny days and dark, seemingly never ending nights. This time in withdrawal is a dark night and it's a long one. However, there will be beauty in it, there will be lessons, and you will lessen someone else's suffering because you are pushing through it. Ask yourself each day what can I learn from this? What can I take away and you will find answers. This is not wasted time. This is your life and you should be so proud of it." I hold those words dear...maybe they will help you during this part of your journey!

 

HG

 

HG that's good stuff

[[Ca...]]

Carita, TS, Hopeful Girl, everyone - I need encouragement. I guess I'm having HPA axis dysregulation, and I'm so worn out from it. Found a new doctor but she focused on leaky gut and gave me no help whatsoever about how to go about healing from all this. Thought she was benzo-wise, but she hardly talked about that. Put me on betaine for stomach acid because I'm not absorbing my nutrient (B12 deficiency, iron, etc) but the first day I took it I didn't feel right so I stopped it. Is BETAINE contraindicated in benzo w/d for any reason? Someone told me it can detox you quickly. After a day of betaine with meals, I had a huge panic/anxiety attack that had me crawling out of my skin. Then it passed in a few minutes. I thought maybe some copper was dislodged since I have some toxicities discovered thru testing. Everyone blames benzos for physical issues but I guess there's other things at play sometimes, too.

 

Mainly, I want to taper but can't begin because I just don't feel stable with my BP again. I started a mushroom herb for adrenals a few weeks ago but stopped it when I learned it hits the GABA receptors. It put me into something like w/d...and even though my days start out okay, the afternoon or evenings are back to high BP and surges again. I'm a wreck worrying about all this. I don't hear any of you talking much about HPA axis dysregulation. Am I the only one sitting around checking my BP? The least upset causes BP to shoot up with irregular heartbeats. It's the HEART stuff that scares me, nothing else. Taking extra beta blocker doesn't help. Cardiologist never got back with me. New doctor just said my BP was too high, and suggested a different BP med but didn't give me one. Told me to stay where I am on the alprazolam, and take GABA so I dont have a seizure. WTH?? Apparently she doesn't realize the nuances of benzo w/d. I thought we weren't supposed to take GABA so I haven't. As to seizures, I came off Xanax a whole month last year and did fine, just went back on it PRN. Now I'm taking it consistently but not sure if I'm taking enough. My mind goes in 5 directions every day over what to do. Please help me. New doc is is willing to help supervise the taper yet can't prescribe controlled substances so I'm still stuck as far as getting a script for smaller tabs (0.25mg). I'm so upset because that's why I went to her - hoping she'd give me a script for smaller tablets and reassure me about HPA axis stuff.

 

Anyway, there's a lot of stress at home and I stay in bed trying to see if that'll help the BP..sometimes it does, but I can get up to the bathroom lately, and it just jumps again. I wake up too early and don't get enough sleep. Dont know how anyone heals the  HPA axis without consistent sleep. I'm about ready to go back on Seroquel, even though it's contraindicated with my heart pill.

 

So, yada, yada, yada. I think my nerves are fried. I don't know what to do anymore, who to trust, who to believe - been on supplements for hypothalamus, adrenals, heart but stopped them when doc mocked them. My nutritional coach is gonna be ticked. I just dont know what to do anymore. Not much support from family or spouse. Friends have no clue what's really going on...it's too much to explain.

 

Sorry I'm not more upbeat today. Sometimes I think I'd be doing better had I taken larger doses but consistently. Not sure if the PRN dosing wrecked my system, or just the ton of stress and lack of sleep I had for years. Don't know if I need an endocrinologist again or just give up.

 

Dear VCharis,

  I am sorry to read you feel ill VCharis. This is so hard. It sounds like the cardiac symptoms are your most concerning. You and I share that....it is alarming to have arrhythmias. None of the physical symptoms are as challenging as runs of arrhythmias for me.  You have the BP spikes on top of that...no wonder you feel frazzled. Remember, both are not unusual during withdrawal.

  I do not know about the supplement you mentioned. I have done some experimentation with supplements and do believe some have been helpful. I would avoid adding more than one thing at once. Every health care professional you see will suggest some supplement or drug. It is a challenge to decide what to add to our already stressed bodies. I tend to think the less the better.

  You mention HPA axis disregulation. I am not well read in this area...but knowing benzodiazepines affect every body system it makes sense these could be dysfunctioning as well. When these"masters " in our body are not working as they should we feel very sick. Couple that with benzodiazepine tolerance and withdrawal and you have a recipe for feeling like death warmed over. It's hard to tell exactly what is happening right now for you and I'm sure that makes you feel lost.

  I wish I had wise words for you. Many times during my taper I have felt very ill and my gut response is to hold the dose and rest / distract until I feel a bit better. I know eventually the acute symptoms will soften.

  Please know my thoughts are with you. Remind yourself this is temporary. None of what you feel is uncommon in withdrawal. I sense you have a deep connection with your inner voice. Listen to what is best for you right now.

    With warmth and friendship,

Carita

 

[[VC...]]

Well, darn it VC!  I was so hoping your doc appt would go well.  Yes having the .25 tabs I think is important.  Even those I found hard to get an even cut.  They are football shaped.  Why not make the tablets round, I just don't get that!

 

I don't know anything about the HPA Axis thing.  You might want to PM Parker and see if she's around, she may know something about that.

 

So are you only on 1 heart medication for your high BP?

 

I pray for you every day sweetie, I just wish I had some helpful advice, but I think you are smart not to start your taper until you feel stable.

 

Love you sweetie!

Rabbit

 

Thank you, Rabbit. I know you care. Yep, taking heart meds and added a beta blocker last week but it's not making a dent in the BP - but holds my pulse nicely. BP is perfect once the surge is over...but heart is irregular and BP rises just getting out of bed. Wearing on my nerves. I don't know if this is benzo-related or something else...but appreciate your prayers.

 

Sending you hugs for your taper-start! You're gonna do great! Sending big hugs! 

VC

[[VC...]]

Mrs, congrats on your excellent progress!  Feeling encouraged to read your update!

 

Hopeful Girl, I so loved that doctor's quote. This is definitely one of the darkest nights of my soul. Will have to save those words to read again and again.  Hope you're doing well.

 

Carita, you're a sweetie. Thank you for the compassion you always show, the kind words, for understanding my feelings right now. I came back and wanted to delete the post ... it's just too much. Didn't mean to sound like a diary entry...just ready to move on to the next step but seems I keep hitting a wall. Thanks so much for being there. 

[[ho...]]

VC,

 

I'm sorry you are having such a hard time with this. Yes, I believe the HPA Axis gets out of whack to say the least. I don't know a ton about it but I do know that my heart arrhythmias and bp were wacky all during tolerance w/d and w/d. It is awful. For me, I don't know that I would have found stability. My system was so shot. So, I decided the only way out was to taper and get through. Yes, I am still sick and still suffering but it is so much better than before. I know I have a ways to go to heal completely but I am only 6 months off. These last 6 months have been so much better. Since being about 1-2 months off my heart rate and bp have regulated and are doing beautifully. I even had prebenzo conditions and they are not flaring up nearly as often or as bad. I wish I could tell you the answer for you, but only you will know. I know it is so frustrating the lack of knowledge these docs have. However, you can do this and you might find that you get better as you taper. Hang in there!

 

Warmly,

 

HG

[[VC...]]

VC,

 

I'm sorry you are having such a hard time with this. Yes, I believe the HPA Axis gets out of whack to say the least. I don't know a ton about it but I do know that my heart arrhythmias and bp were wacky all during tolerance w/d and w/d. It is awful. For me, I don't know that I would have found stability. My system was so shot. So, I decided the only way out was to taper and get through. Yes, I am still sick and still suffering but it is so much better than before. I know I have a ways to go to heal completely but I am only 6 months off. These last 6 months have been so much better. Since being about 1-2 months off my heart rate and bp have regulated and are doing beautifully. I even had prebenzo conditions and they are not flaring up nearly as often or as bad. I wish I could tell you the answer for you, but only you will know. I know it is so frustrating the lack of knowledge these docs have. However, you can do this and you might find that you get better as you taper. Hang in there!

 

Warmly,

HG

 

Oh, Hopeful Girl, thank you. (Wiping tears just reading this). I so hope my heart & BP stuff will ease up but I'm scared and that probably perpetuates the cycle. Thankful to hear your progress and pray you continue to heal beautifully. I have a new reverence for anyone who's conquered benzo dependence and tapered off.

 

I do wonder if I should increase my daytime doses (updose). This is on my last nerve. I cry all the time.

 

Thank you for your kindness and care.

VC 

[[ho...]]

VC,

 

I'm sorry you are having such a hard time with this. Yes, I believe the HPA Axis gets out of whack to say the least. I don't know a ton about it but I do know that my heart arrhythmias and bp were wacky all during tolerance w/d and w/d. It is awful. For me, I don't know that I would have found stability. My system was so shot. So, I decided the only way out was to taper and get through. Yes, I am still sick and still suffering but it is so much better than before. I know I have a ways to go to heal completely but I am only 6 months off. These last 6 months have been so much better. Since being about 1-2 months off my heart rate and bp have regulated and are doing beautifully. I even had prebenzo conditions and they are not flaring up nearly as often or as bad. I wish I could tell you the answer for you, but only you will know. I know it is so frustrating the lack of knowledge these docs have. However, you can do this and you might find that you get better as you taper. Hang in there!

 

Warmly,

HG

 

Oh, Hopeful Girl, thank you. (Wiping tears just reading this). I so hope my heart & BP stuff will ease up but I'm scared and that probably perpetuates the cycle. Thankful to hear your progress and pray you continue to heal beautifully. I have a new reverence for anyone who's conquered benzo dependence and tapered off.

 

I do wonder if I should increase my daytime doses (updose). This is on my last nerve. I cry all the time.

 

Thank you for your kindness and care.

VC 

 

VC, I can't imagine it not getting to you. I cried until I didn't think I had any tears left and then cried some more. It would be odd I think otherwise, given that your system is upside down right now. I was anti updosing for me so I am uncomfortable making any suggestions here. However, someone else may be able to chime in on this. Just remember, as hard as this is, you are going to be ok!

 

HG 

[[Ra...]]

Thank you for the encouragement VC!  I wish we could get you stable darn it!  I wanted us to start our tapers together, but it was not to be.  We all must travel our own road.  I feel alone (not because you're not joining me) just not sure if I'm making the right decision regarding my taper choice, but I couldn't wait any longer.  I am praying for you my sister and friend.  God bless you sweetie 

 

Love,

 

Rabbit

[[la...]]

I have a question for the people around here that have jumped...

 

Did you experience heart palpitations during your taper, and how long after your taper did it take for them to clear up?

[[ba...]]

VC,

 

I'm sorry you are having such a hard time with this. Yes, I believe the HPA Axis gets out of whack to say the least. I don't know a ton about it but I do know that my heart arrhythmias and bp were wacky all during tolerance w/d and w/d. It is awful. For me, I don't know that I would have found stability. My system was so shot. So, I decided the only way out was to taper and get through. Yes, I am still sick and still suffering but it is so much better than before. I know I have a ways to go to heal completely but I am only 6 months off. These last 6 months have been so much better. Since being about 1-2 months off my heart rate and bp have regulated and are doing beautifully. I even had prebenzo conditions and they are not flaring up nearly as often or as bad. I wish I could tell you the answer for you, but only you will know. I know it is so frustrating the lack of knowledge these docs have. However, you can do this and you might find that you get better as you taper. Hang in there!

 

Warmly,

HG

 

Oh, Hopeful Girl, thank you. (Wiping tears just reading this). I so hope my heart & BP stuff will ease up but I'm scared and that probably perpetuates the cycle. Thankful to hear your progress and pray you continue to heal beautifully. I have a new reverence for anyone who's conquered benzo dependence and tapered off.

 

I do wonder if I should increase my daytime doses (updose). This is on my last nerve. I cry all the time.

 

Thank you for your kindness and care.

VC 

 

 

Hi VC,

 

"The Only Way Out is Through"

 

[[Tr...]]

I have a question for the people around here that have jumped...

 

Did you experience heart palpitations during your taper, and how long after your taper did it take for them to clear up?

That's perhaps the single most common symptom. Mine started on the 2nd day and I still have some light palpitations. Mostly late at night, (at my former dosing time), and occasionally upon awaking, but neither occasion is severe or lasts long. It's NOTHING like it was during my taper and say one moth post jump.

[[Tr...]]

VCharis; BabyRex is correct. I'm not licensed to practice medicine anywhere in the world and I didn't stay at a Holiday Inn last night, but...

 

I suspect the Xanax is at least a contributing factor in your physical and emotional condition. The only way to improve your condition may be to begin your taper and eventually jump. It's weird, but despite the withdrawal symptoms, I felt strangely better during my taper in a way I can't fully explain. When I jumped, I felt a ton better even though I'm still healing today. Xanax was making me sick and I didn't know it was responsible. I feel dumb, but I just didn't know until I found this site.

 

Consider most BB members realized at some point that benzos were largely responsible for their physical and mental decline and it was wrecking their lives. Many of us were sick and we knew it, but we didn't understand that Xanax was responsible and had affected us in so many ways we can't fully appreciate until we become free of this poison.

 

Many have come before you and many more will follow. If I can do this, anyone can!

[[la...]]

I have a question for the people around here that have jumped...

 

Did you experience heart palpitations during your taper, and how long after your taper did it take for them to clear up?

That's perhaps the single most common symptom. Mine started on the 2nd day and I still have some light palpitations. Mostly late at night, (at my former dosing time), and occasionally upon awaking, but neither occasion is severe or lasts long. It's NOTHING like it was during my taper and say one moth post jump.

 

Thanks very much TS. It's good to know that the fade a bit over time.

 

Not really sure what to do here.  I have a couple days left untill I'm supposed to cut again.  Still feeling the last cut though I think in-so-far as I'm just down in general, have no energy, and no desire to do anything. 

 

I was considering either

 

1) Pushing forward with a small 0.0625mg cut, which is way smaller than my last cuts.

 

2) Pushing forward with a .125mg cut (which is still smaller than my last cuts) to make a jump towards the finish line.

 

3) Making a small cut of .0625mg with the intentions of trying to make another .0625mg soon after (say 5 days) if it's tolerated fine.

 

4) Stay at this dose for a while longer before cutting.

 

 

The problem I'm having is I just want off this stuff, and feel I could potentially be in the home stretch if I keep pressing forward.  It's not like I'm productive right now anyways, so I would kind of like to just get off this stuff ASAP, and let my body heal. 

 

Any thoughts on how to proceed?

[[Tr...]]

It was easier for me to take a large cut at the beginning of my taper and I've seen others who also took a big initial cut. My vote would be to hold your current level for a few more days then make a single .0625 cut on one of your two doses.

 

I get it... I was impatient and wanted to jump quickly and let my healing begin. The choice is of course yours, but I'd advise to slow down at the end of your taper.

 

You're doing great! 

[[ba...]]

Hi guys,

 

Just another update from me.  All my fears and worries about never being able to heal are completely gone.  Everyday I notice wonderful signs of healing.  Even during a wave, I amaze myself at what I am now able to accomplish.  It gets so much better.  It really does.  Be kind to yourself as you make this difficult journey.  Read the success stories and really understand that most people show great progress post acute, and some even heal while tapering. 

 

You all can do this! 

 

[[la...]]

It was easier for me to take a large cut at the beginning of my taper and I've seen others who also took a big initial cut. My vote would be to hold your current level for a few more days then make a single .0625 cut on one of your two doses.

 

I get it... I was impatient and wanted to jump quickly and let my healing begin. The choice is of course yours, but I'd advise to slow down at the end of your taper.

 

You're doing great! 

 

Alright, I'll wait till tuesday, and then make another 0.0625mg cut to one of my doses.  I think that is probably the smartest thing. And, if things are fine after 5 days, maybe I can cut another 0.0625mg.

[[la...]]

Hi guys,

 

Just another update from me.  All my fears and worries about never being able to heal are completely gone.  Everyday I notice wonderful signs of healing.  Even during a wave, I amaze myself at what I am now able to accomplish.  It gets so much better.  It really does.  Be kind to yourself as you make this difficult journey.  Read the success stories and really understand that most people show great progress post acute, and some even heal while tapering. 

 

You all can do this! 

 

 

That is awesome, congrats baby!!

[[mr...]]

Hi guys,

 

Just another update from me.  All my fears and worries about never being able to heal are completely gone.  Everyday I notice wonderful signs of healing.  Even during a wave, I amaze myself at what I am now able to accomplish.  It gets so much better.  It really does.  Be kind to yourself as you make this difficult journey.  Read the success stories and really understand that most people show great progress post acute, and some even heal while tapering. 

 

You all can do this! 

 

 

That is awesome, congrats baby!!

 

I second that!! 

 

Mrs.

[[mr...]]

Hi all,

 

I was reading around the site, and found this link to some tips to benzo withdrawal recovery: http://www.psychmedaware.org/recovery_tips.html

 

It helped me, so I thought I'd share it

 

Mrs.

 

[[Ra...]]

Hi all,

 

I was reading around the site, and found this link to some tips to benzo withdrawal recovery: http://www.psychmedaware.org/recovery_tips.html

 

It helped me, so I thought I'd share it

 

Mrs.

 

Great tips Mrs.!

[[mr...]]

How's you, Rabbit?

[[Ra...]]

Hi Mrs, I'm OK.  On day 2 of 1st cut of .0625mg.  Feeling fine, but wondering if the cut and hold will be sustainable while I work.  I plan to try it Juliea style at least at first.  If I didn't have to work  or just had a plain 9 - 5 job, I would probably try to LT, but I just don't think it's feasible with my work schedule.  I don't know, I may regret it, but this is what I'm trying for now.  Wish me luck 

[[VC...]]

 

Hi VC,

 

"The Only Way Out is Through"

 

True dat, my friend. And painstakingly slow.

 

Hi guys,

 

Just another update from me.  All my fears and worries about never being able to heal are completely gone.  Everyday I notice wonderful signs of healing.  Even during a wave, I amaze myself at what I am now able to accomplish.  It gets so much better.  It really does.  Be kind to yourself as you make this difficult journey.  Read the success stories and really understand that most people show great progress post acute, and some even heal while tapering. 

 

You all can do this! 

 

 

Bravo  Well done, BabyRex. I like the sound of healing even DURING the taper. Yep, that's what I'm gonna do.

[[VC...]]

Hi all,

 

I was reading around the site, and found this link to some tips to benzo withdrawal recovery: http://www.psychmedaware.org/recovery_tips.html

 

It helped me, so I thought I'd share it

 

Mrs.

 

Great article, thanks, Mrs!  Hope you're doing well at 80%! Wish I were there already!

[[VC...]]

VCharis; BabyRex is correct. I'm not licensed to practice medicine anywhere in the world and I didn't stay at a Holiday Inn last night, but...

 

I suspect the Xanax is at least a contributing factor in your physical and emotional condition. The only way to improve your condition may be to begin your taper and eventually jump. It's weird, but despite the withdrawal symptoms, I felt strangely better during my taper in a way I can't fully explain. When I jumped, I felt a ton better even though I'm still healing today. Xanax was making me sick and I didn't know it was responsible. I feel dumb, but I just didn't know until I found this site.

 

Consider most BB members realized at some point that benzos were largely responsible for their physical and mental decline and it was wrecking their lives. Many of us were sick and we knew it, but we didn't understand that Xanax was responsible and had affected us in so many ways we can't fully appreciate until we become free of this poison.

 

Many have come before you and many more will follow. If I can do this, anyone can!

 

Hi TS, and thank you! I tapered off completely last year and felt better, minus the rebound insomnia and transient anxiety. Of course, I was already having surges/arrhythmias and never put 2 & 2 together about interdose w/d. Tapering went well but sleep was a bear. Had I know then what I know now, I'd have ridden it out. Really loathe being back on the stuff, chained to my cell phone alarm for constant dosing.... even though I've managed to resist "updosing"...

 

Your story gives me hope...something we all need on this journey to recovery.

 

I've no doubt the xanax is making things worse. Doctors always blamed symptoms on Fibro, CFS, hypothyroid, labile hypertension, unidentified endocrine disorder, etc- never factoring in interdose w/d or side affects of antidepressants, benzos, or other meds. (Hey, I'm not a doctor either, but I did play a nurse once...hehe).

 

As I gather pieces of my declining health puzzle, I've got to hold onto HOPE. This little pill is not innocent. It, along with years of other medications, has wrecked my body, depleted my mineral stores, and let me with serious adrenal exhaustion, hypertension, magnesium loss, and cardiac arrhythmias. But even though we tend to attribute every little symptom to benzo W/D, I still think it's a good idea to rule out other underlying causes/illnesses just for peace of mind.

 

A lot of my anxiety is from the sleep deprivation and adrenal exhaustion. When I hear people working and tapering, I'm amazed. I can't even attend social functions much anymore. Last night I slept pretty darn good so my perspective has shifted to a more positive, healing outlook. Thankful to have my benzo buddies that recognize the ups and downs of W/D and know how to support each other. 

 

TS, you're so right - I want to be free of this poison. It's wrecked my life. I've lost friends, family, job, and my own self-esteem as I see my life crumble. Time to kick XANNY to the curb! 

 

Thanks again.

VC