Tenacious Tinnitus Club – Ear Pressure, Noise and Hyperacusis

[[Er...]]

So, what's happening with Birdman? The last I head she said she was "free", then that same day was seriously injured in a helicopter accident. Anyone know any more?

 

Yipes, I haven't heard.  Isn't birdman a woman though?

[[ge...]]

So, what's happening with Birdman? The last I head she said she was "free", then that same day was seriously injured in a helicopter accident. Anyone know any more?

 

Yipes, I haven't heard.  Isn't birdman a woman though?

 

Yes.

[[Dr...]]

Thank you Laudante.

[[ge...]]

Note to self: Chocolate makes T worse, dammit!

[[Po...]]

I'm thinking of going back on chlordiazepoxide+amitriptyline. I have become so desperate, that is suicidal. My tinnitus and hyperacusis and earpain started only after I had started to taper of amitriptyline, which I had started again. That was the crucial mistake, starting amitriptyline. Now it's 17 months after I got rid of benzos and I have become gradually worse when tapering amitriptyline.

 

For a ling time now tapering has been almost impossible. My symptoms get so heavy and suicide idealization, too. I don't think I will get my health back, but this has become impossible. It was a mistake to start tapering in the first place, but I was scared not to be prescribed my drugs anymore. Now that's about the only thing I need to ask my psychiatrist: can he prescribe me those drugs if I start them again.

 

I just don't see this ending happily. I also had no idea - Ashton didn't mention the possibility - that you'd become permanently damaged by tapering of meds. Although this is now amitriptyline and not a benzo I'm talking about. Still it has affected me lil a benzo.

[[pr...]]

I'm thinking of going back on chlordiazepoxide+amitriptyline. I have become so desperate, that is suicidal. My tinnitus and hyperacusis and earpain started only after I had started to taper of amitriptyline, which I had started again. That was the crucial mistake, starting amitriptyline. Now it's 17 months after I got rid of benzos and I have become gradually worse when tapering amitriptyline.

 

For a ling time now tapering has been almost impossible. My symptoms get so heavy and suicide idealization, too. I don't think I will get my health back, but this has become impossible. It was a mistake to start tapering in the first place, but I was scared not to be prescribed my drugs anymore. Now that's about the only thing I need to ask my psychiatrist: can he prescribe me those drugs if I start them again.

 

I just don't see this ending happily. I also had no idea - Ashton didn't mention the possibility - that you'd become permanently damaged by tapering of meds. Although this is now amitriptyline and not a benzo I'm talking about. Still it has affected me lil a benzo.

 

 

Porthan,

 

what other symptoms are you experiencing besides the tinnitus and hyperacusis or are those the only symptoms of that are making you desperate? how long are you off the benzos? do you think it's all from the amitriptyline? i am glad i never stayed on that drug. so sorry you are going through so much!

 

Pretty

[[Po...]]

I'm 17 months off the benzos. I think I ruined the whole withdrawal, though, as I started to take amitriptyline again. It felt exactly like I was taking a benzo - but then it was too late to stop. I think these symptoms follow my withdrawal from amitriptyline (the second time), which is far worse than my original withdrawal. Now I'm stuck. It's impossible to go down even a little bit, all the symptoms I have flare up and new ones are "knocking at the door" (some neuropathy that has been coming lately). I don't know what to do.

 

My other symptoms are also sensitivities, but they are not disturbing me all the time. I'm sensitive to sunlight, but I manage with my sunglasses and a cap. Before this I never wore either one. I have sensitivity to smells (old house, possibly mold, chemicals), but I succeed to avoid that in most part as I don't go to places that disturb me. I'm very shaky.

 

But I could manage if there wasn't this ear stuff. It makes my life something I never thought it would be. I am a songwriter and used to play guitar and piano every day, now I can't. My original problem, why I started benzos, was neck problems that prohibited me from reading. Reading position would make me want to vomit or rather gag. I mean dry heaves. They would be constant, if I would insist and go on with reading. But I could listen to audiobooks and it was a great relief. I was also able to watch tv, videos etc. Now all this I can't do. People here write about distracting, but I can't distract, because those things I cannot do: read, watch tv, listen to music, go to events like sport events or concerts. I don't have social phobias, except when it's really tight and loud. But I enjoy other peoples company or presence, it's much better than being alone.

 

The stinging feeling with my ears feels a bit the same as what I have with sinuses. I wonder what causes it. All the ear problems started at the same time and pretty suddenly, although I had been noticing that background music had started to bug me more and more as well as some repetitious sounds. But now it's so many things: birds, even the keyboard as I'm typing this. It's high-pitched sound/noise more than just any noise. I tolerate what I hear from traffic, but the crisp sounds when you drive on an unpaved road I can't tolerate. I only bike and walk where it's paved. All this with sounds started last fall and after that tapering amitriptyline has become so very difficult that I had to stop completely. As I said, new symptoms seem to come, like sensitive skin that I didn't have earlier but now I have. I get more and more symptoms, not less and less. Especially these sensitivities are horrible: once they start they never go away.

[[pr...]]

wow, i am so sorry. i am also equally as glad i didn't stay on the amitriptyline. i can't handle the crisp sounds when i hear a car on an unpaved road either. i have to plug my ears when a car drives by my private road. but the hyperacusis is getting just a little better for me. i wear Mack's earplugs most of the time and i also put on ear muffs a lot. i also have auditory hallucinations which is kinda having a ringing tinnitus but i don't have the usual tinnitus ringing in the ear symptom for some reason.

 

but lately, i haven't been needing to do even wear the ear muffs or ear plugs. i am also 33 months out from benzo's so i have a little more healing time than you. i am also a songwriter but still haven't been able to sit at the piano to do my work with a second record just waiting to be finished. it really does suck!

 

i also felt like the amitrip felt like i had taken a benzo and that's why i stopped it. i hadn't taken that much thank God!

 

can you try to taper from the amitrip?

[[Po...]]

Pretty, thank you for your answers. You have tough time, too. Yes, I am tapering amitrip, but lately it has become impossible. I can't find any speed where I would not feel very bad and have intensified symptoms. I am so depressed this happened, because after 19 moths of tapering I have to do a second taper and it's harder than the first one (although amitrip was there, too!).

 

We should warn people:

 

1) be aware of the acute withdrawal: think twice when and where you are landing when you take the last drop of whatever you have been tapering.

 

2) If you haven't had much support earlier, think about that, too. Suddenly major symptoms can develop and you have almost no time to explain people near you what is happening now.

 

3) Don't start another med lightly: it can prove to be very hard to taper of OR it can possibly sustain recovery. It's not nice, if you get major symptoms, new ones, and you have no idea if it's because of the benzos or because of the other med or both.

 

4) I think, we should care what dr. Peter Breggin says: It's a risk to start eating these meds and it's a risk to stop eating them. I understand why the mantra "everybody heals" is repeated, but actually I don't think it's true. The viciousness with these meds is that you might never be able to stop them and become your old self again. I'm sure you can recover, but it's not 100% healing for everybody. I would very gladly go back being what I was when I ate these meds. I had no idea I can ruin my life by stopping them. I thought, naïve I was, that I will be as well as I was with the meds, just need to endure some difficulties. Now I'm a wreck, this has really ruined me. I have no idea what I should do to not to get even more damaged.

 

5) We really should doubt this order where benzo is the worst and SSRI's and tricyclics come far behind. It might not be true. At least we should respect the difficulties elsewhere, too. Benzos are not the only evil. It can be dangerous if you think that if I just beat benzos, then it will be easy to do the rest. It might not be like that.

[[pr...]]

porthan,

 

i saw your post on the protracted section and i'm glad you are speaking up about this. i see too many people on here promoting one medication after another and then saying that people don't want the relief because they don't try this drug or that drug which is bullshit and very scary for someone who is kindling and simply can't take another drug or they will die like myself. i can't take anything. nothing at all. brain is far too sensitive. just needs good nutritioius food, water, air, sleep and everything natural.

 

so i'm glad you are speaking about this and maybe you can put another post in the "other medications" section for people to see.

 

i really hope your ear symptoms improve and your taper goes smoothly, you can do it! if i can than you can.

[[Po...]]

Pretty, it's not my only criticism however. There must be others as well who were ok when on these drugs. I was ok 16 years. Maybe I could have been ok another 16 years?

 

There certain are risks when you're on these drugs. But there can be even greater risks if you try to stop them. Even if you're having some problems with the drugs or you're not sure if they make you feel worse, the amount of trying and fighting could be used other ways, too. Maybe you could start running and going to gym? That would make your life better and you'd be satisfied that you were able to do it.

 

I really can't believe that people heal one after another and they don't leave more marks here. Especially, if they have been feeling very desperate. People talk some about their hard experiences and especially about fights where they have succeeded. Not so much about fights where they have not succeeded.

 

It really sounds politically correct and encouraging when we say that everybody heals. I really doubt that. Especially I doubt that all the damages are repaired in the end.

 

It's another question, if you're feeling so bad with the drugs you have to stop. I don't have any experience of that situation. There it's probably the only solution to get off the drugs.

 

I know the perseverance is a big thing here. Still, if I would meet somebody who wants to quit although he/she is feeling ok I would say: Think twice. There are big risks. It can hurt you permanently. Or it can ruin your health, relationships, financial situation, abilities of many sort. I only think what I could have done during these three years. It could be a significant percentage of my life. It has wrecked me to the point where I can't possibly see how I could endure more of the same. The worst is when you start feeling you're stuck in the middle. My first taper was never like that, I could always proceed. Now with the same stuff, without any benzos, I can't proceed.

[[ge...]]

 

I know the perseverance is a big thing here. Still, if I would meet somebody who wants to quit although he/she is feeling ok I would say: Think twice. There are big risks. It can hurt you permanently. Or it can ruin your health, relationships, financial situation, abilities of many sort. I only think what I could have done during these three years. It could be a significant percentage of my life. It has wrecked me to the point where I can't possibly see how I could endure more of the same. The worst is when you start feeling you're stuck in the middle. My first taper was never like that, I could always proceed. Now with the same stuff, without any benzos, I can't proceed.

 

I agree with that and wish I'd stayed on my original dose. Tapering cost me months of horrible wd sxs, constant thoughts of suicide, alienation from my wife, and to top it all off,  tinnitus.

 

I reinstated back to 2/3rds of my original dose and all sxs have gone away, other than the tinnitus, which appears to be here to stay. Of course I've lost four months of my life for nothing, and my relationship with my wife is still rocky because of my behavior when tapering.

 

All in all, I wish that I had just left things alone. At my age I don't have that many good years left, and I'll be damned if I'm going to waste them going through hell to get off of a medication that still works for me and is causing me no distress.

[[Dr...]]

getmeoffthis,...I just read your signature, What a shame that you had to go back up to 1mg.  I feel very bad for what you are going through.

[[Po...]]

getmeoffthis, this is some stuff. I also think that tinnitus is here to stay. I didn't have it when I finished tapering benzo+amitriptyline for the first time. Now tapering amitriptyline for the second time has caused me a lot of damage. I wish I had known more.

 

Is your tinnitus only ringing in the ears or do you have hyperacusis or pain in the ears (I have those)? I'm still not sure what to do, but this tapering that ruins my health has to stop. I, too, really would like to get my life back.

[[ca...]]

Humm ! Reading this makes me wonder if i should have ever tapered myself and i still have a long ways to go !As far as T goes i had it while on benzo`s and i have read benzo can cause it and another reason i decided to taper off was the depression i was starting to get while taking these benzo`s as that has lifted alot but other withdrawls have come with the latest and most troubling is my Tentitus is alot worse ! Thanks ~CD

[[ge...]]

getmeoffthis, this is some stuff. I also think that tinnitus is here to stay. I didn't have it when I finished tapering benzo+amitriptyline for the first time. Now tapering amitriptyline for the second time has caused me a lot of damage. I wish I had known more.

 

Is your tinnitus only ringing in the ears or do you have hyperacusis or pain in the ears (I have those)? I'm still not sure what to do, but this tapering that ruins my health has to stop. I, too, really would like to get my life back.

 

I have ringing in one ear. IT started in both, but after a couple of weeks it went away in my left ear.

 

No hyperacusis, thank God. My wife has both and I have no idea how she survives it.

 

BTW, I take amitriptyline (10mg) at night for neuropathic pain. It seems to work for that. I've also quit it from time to time with no difficulty, but I'm on a really low dose. I won't be increasing it after reading what you're going through.

[[pr...]]

i am reading these posts about all of you who are unsure if tapering is the right thing to do and i can understand that being that i was in sheer hell for 9 years of tolerance withdrawal. my father would say to me all the time "why can't you just stay on a specific amount and keep that dose and just stay on it for life?

 

for some reason my tolerance withdrawal got to the point where i couldn't stay on a small amount or specific dose and i couldn't taper. it just got that bad for me. so i had to do the next best thing which was cold turkey even if that meant death. i couldn't live the way i was anymore, i would have died either way.

 

i'm not saying that the way i did things is the way to go at all and i wished i had known about slow tapering because from some stupid reason i did not know about it. i couldn't believe that this little pill was causing so many horrid symptoms, it was beyond belief for me.

 

anyway, just wanted to share that i understand you guys who may want to stay on a certain dose for life. i don't know what to say. i don't think we don't ever heal. maybe it happens in years and years for some of us. but it's a risk we all have to take.

 

it's got to be better on the other side at some point.

[[La...]]

Taking a benzo for life is something many persons (most of the long term users, perhaps) do. It increases the risks of mental problems, such as dementia, and probably reduces life expectancy a little. Had I known the hell of withdrawal, I would have possibly considered those risks a better option. But those risks are not all. While there´s people that never develops withdrawal from tolerance (for some mysterious reasons), the risk of having that is high after decades of use. Also changes in your mood will be almost inevitable.

 

And when tolerance arrives, it´s not just a matter of increaing dose and feeling better (with the ever increasin long-term use risks). The problem is that once the receptors and screwed, updosing can fail to remove all withdrawal sxs and even can cause paradoxical reactions, not to mention more screwing of receptors, leading to a non-optional withdrawal, only that stronger and more dangerous.

 

And for those who are off and dwell on the illusion of reinstating for life and finish this hell, no matter the benzo risks for life, forget about that. It´s nonsense. Once you´re off, the probability of WORSENING and kindling by taking benzos again is much higher. I learned this the hard way, when I stupidly tried to reinstate at month 10 off. I had paradoxical reactions and almost a complete setback to month 1. Without this last risk, yes, it´s quite possible that reinstatement for life would be a reasonable option in very hellish withdrawals. But the risk is too high, either immediately or after some time (which is even worse).

 

 

[[Po...]]

Laudante, probably you're right. But for some time I have thought it's the last option. If I can't make it otherwise. At least there is a slim chance. I would consider it hard and long, though.

 

I started tapering after having read Ashton manual. I got support from doctors, too. No relevant information, but support that I'm doing the right thing.  Now when I think of it it was a wrong thing to do. I only thought of two things: 1) I will get off and my life will be at least as good as it had been on drugs, and 2) I will get rid of the uncertainty that I'd get into a situation where a doctor suddenly would not want to prescribe me those drugs anymore.

 

I think many people here think that it's like a marathon. Long and hard but good feeling afterwards. Nothing dangerous, really. I don't think that is true. Withdrawal can compromise your health. Also, like you say, Laudante, there is no way of return. Once you start, you have to proceed. As I said earlier, my chemical sensitivity started after about half a year, I had cut my dose 50% by that time. It was a symptom that wouldn't change no matter what. Turning back wouldn't change it. That's why I think Ashton is not right when she says that reducing the dose would be good as well. I see only risks there, but no price, except in cases where the reduction itself makes you feel better.

 

Thus I would like to discuss a new paradigm: if you're a long time user and feel stabil, think carefully what you can gain and what you can lose by starting a taper where you aim to be benzofree. I know now I shouldn't have started and I wish I had gotten some views from that side, too.

 

And thus, I would add a section here for those who went back. I don't think it would be a happy section, but it would give us all some thought. I can't ser why people would not write there. Of course, reinstatement can be a disappointment, but it might still encourage writing, here because there are people who care about how you feel.

[[ge...]]

"Thus I would like to discuss a new paradigm: if you're a long time user and feel stabil, think carefully what you can gain and what you can lose by starting a taper where you aim to be benzofree. I know now I shouldn't have started and I wish I had gotten some views from that side, too."

 

I wish I had thought this out better too. The only thing I've gained by tapering is tinnitus, plus now I have periods of anxiety for no reason when before I tapered I had none.

 

At least the tinnitus is a) quieting down some, or b) I'm getting habituated to it.

 

I still have thoughts of going back to my original dose of lorazepam, but now I'm afraid that doing that won't work like it did before. Reading the posts by Hiphopanonymous about this are quite troublesome.

 

I really wish I had thought out all of the implications of doing a taper. I've never been on any medication that screws around with the body like this one does.

 

On days like this I really miss being able to drink coffee, because without it I just feel like a lump all day long. With it when a wave hits it just makes it  whole lot worse, and waves come out of nowhere now.

[[Po...]]

getmeoffthis, I call for a new paradigm for many reasons. I have seen very many people herr, who have started a new med or meds once they have started tapering or after they have jumped.

 

Yesterday I met two people who had been tapering. The other one had succeeded though she had tapered off several meds, including some we call neurolepts. The other one had finished her taper with ssri's, after that got into a hospital because of acute withdrawal and had been put back on those meds. I told her, that I failed, too.

 

However, according the sentiment here, my taper wasn't a failure, because I got rid of benzos. The only thing is that I started amitriptyline again and it doesn't differ from benzos. From this woman who got into the hospital, of course benzos were offered as one possibility to survive the symptoms (akathisia), what she had.

 

I think, that starting a taper is a huge risk. We should be informed about it, too. It's important that we support each other and tell that you'll heal, too. But we should be careful not to promote this solution. It's not that simple. Tapering can break so much: your relationship, your health, your spirit. If I only had read from Ashton that people who are long-time-users and are stabilized with their dose nigh want to think twice. Especially if the circumstances for tapering are challenging. The wisdom is not balanced here, I'm afraid.

[[ge...]]

 

 

I think, that starting a taper is a huge risk. We should be informed about it, too. It's important that we support each other and tell that you'll heal, too. But we should be careful not to promote this solution. It's not that simple. Tapering can break so much: your relationship, your health, your spirit. If I only had read from Ashton that people who are long-time-users and are stabilized with their dose nigh want to think twice. Especially if the circumstances for tapering are challenging. The wisdom is not balanced here, I'm afraid.

 

To me, the only question that matters is "do you feel better off of benzos than you did on them?".  When I keep reading new stories about members who are 12, 18, and 24 months out after quitting benzos and are still having horrible side effects I have to wonder, because no one can know ahead of time if they're going to join that group.

 

I appreciate all the work Ashton did back in the 1980s. I'm not sure that she used a large enough, randomized group of subjects though. I don't recall her mentioning people having problems cutting over to diazepam, for example, yet I read people here stating that every week. There's no doubt that BenzoBuddies has empirical data from a much larger group of people than Ashton did. Obviously we also have a built in bias, since people having little to no difficulties withdrawing have no reason to post here.

 

Since Ashton, studies on benzo withdrawal all seem to be much smaller than Ashton's. I've read some that had as few as three people. I suppose there's no money available for detailed, long term studies on this topic.

 

I've posted this before, but I'll do it again here. My only reason for wanting to taper off of lorazepam was due to fear created by the study that came out last September postulating a possible link between long term benzo use and Alzheimer's disease. I now realize that was foolish of me, because whether or not the link is real, there have been exactly zero studies showing a reduced risk of Alzheimer's disease among people who have quit benzos.  Since such a study would take many years, I doubt that I'll still be around to read the results if it's ever done.

 

I have had no problems getting off of amiytipyline, trazodone, and Lexapro. None whatsoever. But lorazepam, that's a whole different story, and I'm no longer convinced that spending three to five years of what's left of my life in withdrawal hell makes any sense.

[[xe...]]

Well, no improvement at all in this symptom after 26 months. However, I have some hearing damage, and the event which really spiked my tinnitus prior to my 2009-2012 benzo use, was a noise trauma combined with a panic attack.

 

If I ever reinstate benzos, this will be why.

[[Wo...]]

Anybody else have Pulsatile Tinnitus? I get it at night when I lay down for bed most, but not every night. The ENT said he was 99% sure it's not a tumor or a vascular issue. I'm hoping for any tips to alleviate it if anyone has experience. This and heart palpitations are my only remaining issues thankfully. I'm feeling pretty good at 11 months out.

[[Ja...]]

I'm in the same boat: ear noise that gets louder and softer depending on what I ingest.  Last few days it's been pretty loud.  Today I felt a lot more anxious about it for some reason.  Any advice on how to calm yourself down and learn to live with this?