A Letter to My Friends from Eastcoast

[[ea...]]

Dear BB Friends,

I thought about writing an open letter to you all many times. I feel badly that I seem to have disappeared.

Why did I drop out of sight??

 

Okay. As some of you know, I finally sold my house and moved to a brand new town. Something Id dreamed about for several years. Well, it suddenly happened.....I handled it all just fine, and was excited to be leaving my old place. But after the dust settled, I kind of crashed......and many old symptoms came right back.

No, not nearly as bad as it was even six monthes ago. But pretty bad.

I did not want to publicly post because I didnt want to scare the new people, or owrry the old people.

It will be 15 monthes for me on November1.

Never, ever, did I think it would last this long!

But, it has.

Keep in mind that I took benzos for 30 years.....and went cold turkey. And this may be why Ive had such a bad time.

At this point, I find that reading posts here is too distressing for me. I still "absorb" symptoms, like a darn sponge. And the fear, the worries....all remind my of what I went through. Its too painful for me to be here, right now.

But....BenzoBuddies saved my life. Of that, I have no doubt. I feel a deep gratitude to this place, and I will never forget. At some point I will return, and be Helpful East once again.

So many of you reached out to me, during the darkest monthes. Your words, your thoughts, all helped me get through. It was touch and go, many times. But you guys were here for me and I wont forget.

Bear with me, while I slowly find my way through this. And even though I dont visit every day, as long as my computer works, Ill check in and read my private messages every few days.

I love you all.

east

[[In...]]

So wonderful to hear from you Eastcoast. You were one of the first to greet me here. I was so happy to hear you were doing well. Disappointed to hear you have slipped back some, but not unexpected in benzo w/d. I hope your waves continue to get milder and shorter, you really deserve it! Miss reading your messages here so much, but sometimes being on BB too often does not help. Totally understand that. It's been happening to me the past couple weeks.

 

Thanks so much for checking in and updating us! Lots of healing thoughts and wishes sent your way

[[No...]]

Just a hug to you!!!!

 

Sandra.

[[Mo...]]

hi Eastcoast,

good to see you again. i was quite new here but always followed your posts

cause you were like a kind of ''c/t model'' to me. especially the time when you had to kill

all those ants in your old place , even though i was so much in pain i had to laugh

some times. sorry i know it wasn't funny for you at the time.

 

shame about your little set back but i suppose the moving must have been quite a

stressed experience as well.

all the best to you and keep in touch please, so many people haved missed you.

love claudia

[[So...]]

So happy that you were able to acheive one of your dreams!!! But, so very sorry that you are getting hit with some symptoms. But, as you know, this too shall pass. You are a very strong and determined person that will make the best out of tough circumstances. You have made it this far, and will go on to greater happiness now that you are settling in and learning to be in a place that will bring more to your life.

 

Stay strong and have faith.

 

Denise 

[[pa...]]

What a beautiful heart you have! Congrats on the big move. I love to hear stories of people following their dreams.  Good for you.

 

You will likely see a lot more healing this second year.  Around 18-24 months is when a lot of people seem to feel it.

 

  Parker

[[Di...]]

All the best to you, East!

 

[[mc...]]

Moving to a new home is a big deal and it sounds like your almost healed . The fact you don't need to be here a lot speaks volumes of your progress. Congrats!

[[ge...]]

Hi east! We miss you 

[[Sv...]]

Welcome back East!  From what you've described, you've been thru a lot. No wonder ur symptoms flared up. As u settle down things will improve for u greatly. I think this is why Ashton says to avoid stress. It is what it is.

 

Great to hear from u!

[[Fo...]]

Thanks for the update East. Sorry you fell into a wave but i'm happy to hear it's less than the past and I'm sure it'll smooth out (and quickly, i hope). Good to see you!

[[Ch...]]

Just want you to know I'm thinking of you East!  I pray that you continue to heal 

[[ho...]]

Hi Eastcoast,

 

Thank you for updating us. I've been wondering how you are doing. Glad the move went well but sorry to hear of your setback. I wish you healing. You know best how to take care of yourself. I look forward to the time when you feel up to coming back more regularly. You were always so good about welcoming the new members, Me being one of them, and I thank you for that. I understand your need to stay away though. You are always doing the right thing by taking care of yourself!

 

Wish complete healing for you,

hopeful2013

[[Im...]]

East You were one of the first people who reached out and helped me when I was at a time in my life that I thought I was going to die "literally". I love you as my friend here at BB and I know you have been going thru a lot since your move but I want you to know I'm here for you. Anytime you need to talk just look me up. I do hope your sx subside and you have big windows from here on out. I do worry about you because I care about what you are going thru. You have been a big help to me. And if I can do anything for you Please let me know! I do miss you here but at the same time I understand but can't wait until you can get back to BB and help us all as you have always done!

 

Much Love

Imsaved

[[He...]]

Thanks for checking in East! I am happy you are in your new place. Even a good stress depletes the healthiest of nervous systems let alone one at the end of benzo withdrawal.  I have no doubt you will be bouncing back soon. Thanks for all your love and support on the bb forum. You were one of the first ones to greet me when I first joined. I often followed your posts there after. Take care dear East.

 

  Healingnow

[[Ca...]]

Dear East....have missed you! Blessings to you in your new home where you can continue your journey to a full recovery.

Carita

[[pr...]]

hi east,

 

i was thinking about just yesterday in fact. it's so good to hear from you! i am still pretty un-well myself but definitely improving every single day. just not there yet. i'm glad to hear that you moved to a new town and that your dream came true in that regard. i know your dream of being totally and completely healed from benzo's will come true too!

 

love, pretty

[[Mi...]]

Fair enough too. Absorb symptoms.. Great explanation. I do too. Sending more healing to you. Xxx

[[...]]

East, I had just directed someone to your "irrational fears" thread yesterday... I, too, was someone you reached out to early on and I always keep you in my prayers and think about your beading work last winter. One bead at a time. I am so happy to learn you have moved to a new home and I have every hope this wave, however intense, will be shorter and you will continue to move on in your new life.  I agree w/ whoever said that not posting is a very good sign.  I am always wishing you well!  Njoy

[[Ja...]]

Wishing you total healing!

[[...]]

East, you were the first to write to me privately when I came here, so you can see that you have had a huge impact on an awful lot of people.

 

I look forward to the time when you feel like visiting here more often!

[[gi...]]

East,  so good to hear from you. I've been 1 month behind you, even on the slow healing. Don't worry about not posting, I mention you in some of my post. I'm sure other buddies do the same. Miss your posts. Good to know your not suffering as bad as you were. Hope to see you soon. Your truely one who has helped many

[[gu...]]

I'm very happy for you as you have achieved your dream of moving house to where you wanted...That's huge.

 

Maybe all that whirlwind of emotions set you off balance for a bit, but don't worry as you'll bounce back and put this benzo nightmare all behind you for good before you know it.

[[be...]]

Not to worry Eastcoast.  I know how it is to need to take a break.  I was away from here for 7 months and just pop in and out for now.

 

All the best to you in your new home.  I wish you a speedy and full healing. 

 

Sachi.

[[su...]]

Hi Eastcoast,

 

It is not uncommon to have a setback or increased symptoms as we emerge from this experience. It often comes from doing too much too fast. I have this happening too.

 

Please know it is normal and we are all here for you and thank you for being here for us when you were able. You are such a lovely and special person.

 

Take Care of You,

Summer