The Xanax Club, Let Us Know How You Are Feeling Today

[[me...]]

Hey Mentor, Due to the fact ones' body isn't producing the needed amount of a chemical or to much of another. An example of to much of one would be for folks with anxiety, like me. The adrenal gland is producing to much adrenaline, and one can take buspar to neutralize the adrenaline. Then there are drugs like prozac which just numb peoples minds and makes them oblivious to how they are truly being.

 

 

Is the adrenaline gland producing too much or is the adrenaline gland simply producing more than an arbitrary number that the medical community, coaxed on by the pharmaceutical community, has anointed as normal?

 

You know the AMA is always changing what it considers normal and there is GREAT controversy as to how far outside of "normal" a patient should be before chemical alteration with all it's not understood side effects should be used.

 

In the United States the power of big pharma is such that it effects treatment recommendations. 

 

The US has 5% of the world population but we use 80% of all pharmaceuticals with no corresponding health benefits.

 

Just sayin'.

 

If all humans were not different we would have gone extinct. It's philosophically not even rational to make all human, "the same."

[[th...]]

Mentor,

 

It has also been said that the Psychiatric field has "made up" dx in order to be able to rx meds made by Big Pharm. "Hand in Glove" scenario?? Plus there is no test as to "chemical alterations" in the brain so really how does one know they are chemically off balance?? Guess?? It all seems very shady to me now and I am leery of any medication for moods or feelings ....basically human emotion and behavior. Like you said ....we are all different. Not that there isn't definitely mental disorders....my brother is schizophrenic and needs meds...no amt of CBT or exercise is going to help his brain, but jeez....the amt of drugs that get rxd for people who are normal but made to feel abnormal is insanity in itself! IMO.

 

How do I feeling today? I dropped .25mg yest...10% cut....and feel scared. I always do when I make a cut because I never know what will happen. Just taking it one day at a time . And distract , distract, distract!!!!

G

[[Ra...]]

Grinch, hoping your cut goes well 

 

Rabbit

[[...]]

Hello Lakeside,

 

   

    Hope all is well for you today. And was going to say something about big Farm myself, but just going to keep it cool for now. But there is one thing about the subject, these big Dicks that we voted in offices to help us out, well they take big bucks from the big Farms for their campaigns in return for their protection. What a crock of crap, right.  Okay no more, don't want to get to upset here, 

 

 

  Hope that Mentor, rabbit and everyone else is doing okay today.  For me, I just live with it day to day. Getting a lot better as time goes by, but the magic beans that I have been taking for some time, just don't work, I thought that I would be back to 100% by now, nope. lol

 

  But I see myself back to normal in another year, going to be on here more often to help everyone that I can.

 

  Lakeside, keep the faith, and don't let anyone say hat you are bi-polar. Hope that this Doctor takes care of you better.

 

 

  Godspeed to you all,

 

 

 

 

  Rocket

 

[[th...]]

Saturdays .25mg (10%) cut has been treating me fine. I mean I still feel sucky but it's better than it was

 

Now I switch to .125mg weekly cuts....(this is less than 10% cuts till I reach 1.25mg)....

 

Hopefully it just gets better as I get lower.....

 

G

 

 

[[me...]]

Mentor,

 

It has also been said that the Psychiatric field has "made up" dx in order to be able to rx meds made by Big Pharm. "Hand in Glove" scenario?? Plus there is no test as to "chemical alterations" in the brain so really how does one know they are chemically off balance?? Guess?? It all seems very shady to me now and I am leery of any medication for moods or feelings ....basically human emotion and behavior. Like you said ....we are all different. Not that there isn't definitely mental disorders....my brother is schizophrenic and needs meds...no amt of CBT or exercise is going to help his brain, but jeez....the amt of drugs that get rxd for people who are normal but made to feel abnormal is insanity in itself! IMO.

 

How do I feeling today? I dropped .25mg yest...10% cut....and feel scared. I always do when I make a cut because I never know what will happen. Just taking it one day at a time . And distract , distract, distract!!!!

G

 

clearly there are extreme cases where pharmaceuticals play an important role

 

blood pressure meds are also out of control as are cholesterol meds just too mention two other areas of chemical abuse

 

still, the biggest sin of all is the adhd diagnosis and teh gateway drugs well meaning patents 'push' on their own children

 

just horrible stuff

[[th...]]

Mentor,

 

My stepson was quite the handful as a youngster. THEY dx him with ADHD and wanted him on meds. The kid was highly intelligent and was bored in school is what my husband figured. My husband refused to put him on meds and rode it out no matter how difficult it got. He graduated HS top of his class and is now on his way to his freshman year in college for engineering. No meds required 

 

G

[[me...]]

Mentor,

 

My stepson was quite the handful as a youngster. THEY dx him with ADHD and wanted him on meds. The kid was highly intelligent and was bored in school is what my husband figured. My husband refused to put him on meds and rode it out no matter how difficult it got. He graduated HS top of his class and is now on his way to his freshman year in college for engineering. No meds required 

 

G

 

exactly

 

i know myself, i test a genius but nearly flunked out of the very schools that tested me as such

 

how ironic is that

 

thank god no one bothered to hand out meds when i was young for having a short attention span

[[La...]]

Hi Rocket, been really, really bad here the last couple of days with today being a bit better. Doc had me stop the trazedone 50mg at bed time, as she said it could be interfering with the Depakote. So today has ben a little better, but did have a panic attack earlier that set in without notice. I gotta ask...Is what I'm experiencing at 22 months normal or typical ? I have episodes of bad anxiety and depression as yet and even get into slight fits of near rage, but calm down relatively quick for the most part. Example: my walking out from getting blood drawn Saturday because I got the impression the tech didn't know what she was doing. In all honesty, after going back today, the lab tech then, really didn't know what she was doing because she was gonna draw for a test that I had to go else where for. Not to mention she called dopamine dolalime and asked me if I had taken any that day. With that, I left and was....well, quite upset and just walked out.

 

I was bitten by a tick last year and am afraid I may have more going on than this benzo thing. My sx seem to be fitting right in with lyme too. I get these weird headaches. I know I might be grasping at straws and am not afraid to have people tell me so. So long as they're people who have been enduring what we have. 22 months and this kind of craziness is over the top at times.

[[Re...]]

Hey Everyone:

 

I could use some advice:

 

http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=112072.msg1453413#msg1453413

Thanks.

[[...]]

  Hello Lakeside,

 

  Hang in there! For me, I went threw the same symptoms as you are going threw at the same time. Unless we are 2 peas in the same pod, I do believe that there are many people going threw the same suffering as we are.

 

  I get episodes where I melt down in the car when I'm driving, but mellow out in a few minutes. It's just crazy sometimes. But as the time goes by, this seems to get lesser and lesser. It should go away soon.

 

  And I can say that there were a few times that I was a hypochondriac , everything that was in the medical book, I had, lol.  .  Our minds tend to go crazy, and into another dimension. As I say, here today, and gone tomorrow.

 

  You will get better, and you have to keep busy with some sort of activity. If you don't, you brain will hit the negative point of no return. For me, I keep busy with my music. And do a lot of reading. The reading is quit a challenge. My mind just runs wild sometimes, and I have to go back a few paragraphs and start over. But this is a hell of a lot better a year ago. I couldn't remember anything that I was reading 15 minutes later.    But just better. I have an MBA from the University of Wisconsin. And sometimes I feel like a dope, dahhh

 

  But in all this crazy crap, you will get better and your brain will settle down and stop playing jokes on you. I can tell you this much. From where I started, and where I am here today, what a dramatic  change.  Still have some healing to go, but I'm being optimistic about it. Just keep fighting for yourself and try to keep positive at all times. And try to get outside more, okay

 

 

 

  Godspeed to you,

 

 

 

 

 

 

Rocket

[[La...]]

So, all this off the wall type of craziness is just a typical thing ? In all reality, it makes me glad then. It's hard to believe that this cycling such as it is, over the top at times, in fact it's most of the time. It took a LOT for me to go in and get on a medication. I am so far against pharma and taking pills.

 

I hear ya about searching for things that could be wrong. I've done the gammit on mental disorders now and found I've been through quite a few while enduring this. I believe this depakote is helping to level me out though. At least I'm able to do things now and not just sit and think about them.

 

Rebel Maven, hope you get the advice you need. I'm not one for giving when I'm in need of it. Not like I am right now. Hope you're doing better today.

 

Thank you much Rocket and hope you have a great day !

[[th...]]

Down to 2mg!! Woohoo!! 

 

G

[[...]]

So glad to find this group ! 

[[th...]]

Welcome Kb45

[[...]]

Grinch,  I have been reading earlier posts in this group and see what you mean when you said I made too large of a cut..........  Thanks Again

[[...]]

Good Morning Everyone,

 

  Just checking up and seeing how everyone is doing these days. Sorry for little delay in checking in, just trying to keep my mind busy. Slight symptoms, but dealing with them as much as I can.

 

 

  Everyone hang in there and stay strong, there is life after you get threw this.

 

 

 

 

Godspeed to you all,

 

 

 

Rocky

[[La...]]

Well, I'm back to 4:00 am wake ups and pretty high strung. The cog fog isn't as bad but it's a little overwhelming at times, like earlier today. It pretty much made me an oxygen thief for the day....worthless. Didn't accomplish much at all, just kept myself grounded, so to speak. Uncomfortable feeling and uneasy all day.

Had a major issue in the bathroom when I flushed the toliet this morning and the floor flooded. Got it cleaned up and removed the toliet, then put it back and flushed again, only to reflood. Come to find out, the wax ring was not long enough and dropped down. New style extended wax ring now in place after taking me about 1 hr to do a less than 20 minute job. That's how bad this cog fog is today.

 

But........... I am able to push through most of it now. I did take a break from renovating moms house yesterday and today. I'm not really wanting to sell it, but don't want to deal with renting it out and longer. Back at it next week with not to much more to go. Has new roof shingles, new water pump, water softener and carpet is coming, 2 bed, 2 car garage. Deeded lake access, any interests ? Oh, and the neighbors are cool....

 

Am really still out there you guys. For as far as being able to function at any sort of professional capacity right now. I've been offered a management positin at a palce, just because I went into a store and they didn't have the products I was looking for and told them I would ge thtem introduced to the manufafcturers and I did. The owner offered me a store managers position. I cannot function at a level such as that on a daily basis right now though. Besides, I'm more of a self employed type of guy.

 

But the cog fog is what's the most difficult for me. Like now, I tend to ramble when I'm like this and cannot help myself. It helps me, as it takes my mind off the confusion which is unrelenting at times. I do know if I focus on something, I feel better and get things accomplished, for the most part. Today, I don't know. It just seems to have shackles around my ankles with my mind just going.

 

It's gotta give in man, it's just gotta. I'm not trying to sound like I'm whining, but it does. My life, as with all of your's, is upside down and inside out. I've been beyond being able to do any sort of functioning work until just recently. I'm a single income family and thank God I have some savings to be able to rely upon. Because I would have lost it all if I hadn't. There's no way on earth I could have functioned to a point of being able to be counted on for a steady job.

 

I'm sitting here thinking, what a day. When actually what happened was nnothing at all, but at the time it was over the top. It took me probably 1/2 hr just to decide to shut the water off and left the toilet. As I write, I feel like I'm coming out of it a little. Wishful thinking anyway.

 

Hope you all have a good day....

[[th...]]

I totally understand the "Not really trusting yourself to work again, at least full-time in a "have to punch a clock" capacity. I finished an online Masters in Nursing Education degree during this fiasco...don't ask how that was accomplished...many months feeling like death with only focusing on school basically while lying in bed. UGH! But what an accomplishment in the midst of all I have been through! Still, here I am without a job...searching. I would like, and the plan was to teach online nursing courses from home....so I wouldn't need to punch a clock or be on my feet all day (I am an RN and haven't been working since 2011 bc of this crap!). But having a hard time finding work in this area. There are two positions for faculty at the college where I live. Full-time, on campus. If I were better, I'd apply. I just don't think I can do it yet. I don't trust how I feel from day to day. Mornings are still pretty rough. Sucks. It is a huge opportunity just passing me by but I just am not ready. Even though I have been feeling better, I am not great, nor recovered and have a long way to go...I am only at 2 mgs so who knows what will happen at these lower doses...some people get worse....or even at the acute jump phase??? I'd hate to take on something I fail at bc of the benzo charade!!! 

 

Grinch

[[...]]

Hello Lakeside and TheGrinch,

 

  Hop that you two are doing well today. Lake side, hang in there. My father was a plumber and I worked with him all the time when I was young. To do what you did during withdraw is just great, I know what you are going threw, the cog fog can just be brutal sometimes. But you are getting it together as time goes buy.

 

  Grinch, can you tell me the website that you did your advance nursing at? And also to do that, with your brains half scrambled is just an accomplishment it's self. Keep on moving forward.

 

  You guys can do this, the end isn't too far away for you both.  Just stay focus and get to your goals.

 

 

 

Godspeed to you all

 

 

 

 

Rocket

[[th...]]

I graduated from University of Mary in ND. Online program. 

 

G

[[...]]

 

 

Thank You Grinch,

 

  I hope that you are doing well today. Going to go online and check them out. Will be back on a little later.

 

 

 

  Godspeed to you

 

 

 

Rocket

[[La...]]

Hey Rocket, great to see you're doing as well as you are.

 

BTW, you're right !

 

I'm making some headway on my end now. I mean, measurable gains are happening in short spurts now. I still awake with cog fog early in the mornings. But, this one was different, as it was...get this...7:00 am when I got up this morning. I was awake for a little while first, but I've not been able to be in bed that late since this all began.

Now, on top of that when I was with the real estate agent inquiring about my moms home and where the market is at, she basically invited me to join her team to become an associate. She said I have a way about me that most lack. I think my charisma is returning is spurts now, as I've always been quite charismatic. I currently flip repossessed homes and am thinking quite serious about getting my license now.

My days still begin in hell though. I've been waking up 3-4:00 and in a cog fog but not so much panic. This morning is thee first that's been this good since August 2012. Don't get me wrong here, I experience cog fog, anxiety and depression with irritation throughout my day. But, it isn't as intense and as long as I'm focusing, I'm able to get myself through it.

Perhaps it's a little light at the end of my tunnel finally beginning to gleam a little. I have to push to achieve, but at least I'm now achieving.

[[dy...]]

I am new to the board, checking into this thread. Great community

 

Two weeks ago I dropped from 0.5 to 0.25, I still have many symptoms, not as intense as the first week, but tolerable, my main issue now is tinnitus. I still have this fear I went too fast and keep obsessing whether to up my dose to  0.3125. If I have made it this far, is it pointless to go back?  From now on I am for sure going slow, but Id hate to updose and lose mt progress

[[th...]]

DP1 (hope thats ok I gave you a nickname ),

 

Xanax is tricky, as are all benzos, but xanax can have terrible wd syx because of its fast half-life. It hits us fast and is gone fast. With every benzo we try to encourage a 5-10% cut from total dose so you are way above that. But honestly, if you can manage it, I'd stick with it, maybe you won't get hit hard or be able to recover easier than some others. Everyone is different. It is important to listen to your own body and follow how you feel. If you are doing "ok" than I'd stay with it and see how it develops. Good thing you are on a lower dose....I started tapering at 6 mg!!!! Ugh! Awful, just awful! But as you can see, little by little, I am making my way down  Another important thing to remember is you may not be syx free and this needs to be accepted and really learn how to deal with them. Instead of updosing to get rid of them as this just prolongs the inevitable and typically doesn't help anyway, IMO (in my opinion).

 

Grinch