The Xanax Club, Let Us Know How You Are Feeling Today

[[VC...]]

Purplegirl, just wanna send you a hug across the cyber miles 

[[Pu...]]

Bless your heart VCharis,, right back atcha!!!!  All of you are wonderful.

  hugs from PG

[[La...]]

Hi Folks,

 

Today has been a complete 180 turn around. I woke up at 4:00 am alright, but w/o being rattled this time. Got a drink, blew my nose (sinus troubles), and went back to bed. Only took a few minutes and I was right back up, but not pacing the floors, nor feeling blue. Turned the tv on and sat with my dogs until I could get outside and shovel snow. Mind you, as a rule at this time, I've already taken 15-20 mgs of buspar and today, even tonight at this hour of 9:00 pm...NO buspar today ! Normally I'm at 50-60 mgs by now. A window perhaps. But at nearly 17 months, I could be saying good-bye to this. Only time will tell, but I know one thing for sure. It's been well over 7 months since my last reprieve. Not even an inkling of a window since last spring. Lost my mom June 1st and it's been a real spiral since then. The waves of anxiety and depression have been immense. Changing from one to another lately several times in a day sometimes.

But alas, this guy is taking in every second of this reprieve and living in the moment and appreciating it like nothing ever before. I can only hope that this day will be followed up by another of the same.

Thanks for the kind words Rocket.

[[...]]

Hello Lakeside,

 

    Hang in there, we never know when the end of he crazy journey ends for us.    we are all hoping that it is short and sweet. But sometimes our journey takes longer. But we get there. So stay strong and keep moving forward.

 

 

  Godspeed to you,   

 

 

 

 

 

Rocket

[[...]]

Hello BB,

 

  Just want to keep everyone up to date with my progress for taking LipoFavonoids Plus for the ringing in my ears. Haven't notice anything yet, but it set off a Big Wave with lots of crazy symptoms. This started a few days ago, but just been keeping it to myself because trying to figure out what set it off! I have been off Benzos for 20 months, so maybe this is the last Wave, well keeping my fingers crossed.

 

  Here is a rundown of the Crazies Symptoms,,,

 

Chills and Body is Hot, kind of Dahhhhhh,

Body aches, Knees, Lower Back,

Fog in the Morning,

Stomach Problems today, and Add a Little Gas.

Body Temperature is okay, even Blood Pressure is okay,

Appetite is okay, but just don't want to over do it. 

Mind was starting to wonder, with a few crazy Thoughts.

Head pressure and a little head ache,

Heart was pounding, like it wanted to jump out of my chest.

 

But just had to post this to let everyone know. Don't want to quit the Lipoflavo's, because want to see if they will work for the ringing in the Ears! So going to stick it out to see if there will be a change or a stoppage in the ears. 

 

 

It's almost like I just Started a Cold Turkey with a number rating of 7 for the symptoms.

 

So going to drink some teas and listen to some Hawaiian Music. Will try to keep everyone posted about my progress.  But Sleeping okay, 7 to 8 hours ever nite.   

 

 

Godspeed to all my BB, and stay strong, 

 

 

Rocket

 

 

 

[[La...]]

Well, so much for any feel good left for now. I've been short on sleep and have the racing mind once again. Bad enough I'm not driving and haven't for a couple of days. I'm rather moody I see, but only after something surprising happens do I feel it, as I react. Even have the electrical current back in my feet right now and it's beginning in my hands. Wowww....talk about coming out of left field ! I'm in control alright, but certainly a long ways from feeling good. I'm tired n wired. Have that inner fearful feeling of insecurity. I know it isn't real, but it it's in my head.

[[...]]

Hello Lakeside,

 

  Hang in there, I know what you are talking about. Just went threw a wave that was very crazy. It lighten up very much. Had just about the symptoms that you had, but going to keep on pushing myself forward. Tinnitus still there, but taking a combination of vitamins to concor it, do hope that it works. It's been 30 days and the manufactor says to give it 60 days. So going to stick it out. 

 

  Hope that you are feeling better today, 

 

 

 

 

Godspeed to you, 

 

 

 

Rocket

[[La...]]

These waves continue to differ in length and intensity. Rather than being weeks or even months at a time, as in the first year, it's for a few days or even hours now. The waves cycle faster and faster now. At times it's a good thing, but during the day when needing to do things, it can be a hinderance.

I'm coming off 2 days of goodness with this 4:00 am wake up this morning. Have been out and about and can actually use the words, enjoyed my days. Got out, drove, mingled a little and felt almost human again. My mind was racing yet, but the indecisiveness was absent. No confusion nor irratibility. Just smooth sailing for the most part. It was nice to begin to experience that side of me and knowing it's in here...some place.

 

Thank you once again for your kind words Rocket. Hope your wave has let up now and life is better once again. I too, take some vitamins to help out. Still taking magnesium, vita C and a multi that includes vita D and K now, along with B6 and B12.

 

Hope yours and Everyones today is better than their yesterday was....

[[Ma...]]

Hey thanks for the update on the lipoflavinoids for tinnitus.  I was low on $$ but thinking if it's truly a cure I'll spend my last dollar on them.  I guess it can wait.......I've lived with this tinnitus for years already.  It's just like a radio frequency in my ears today.  Sometimes it's worse, like chirping cicadas.

I guess we kind of acclimate to it.  But at times it's unusually loud and I can't hear other sounds very well.

 

I really appreciate everyone's updates.  Sometimes I forget about the waves.  I forget that they come and go.  When I'm in one I think it always has been and always will be this way.  Not true.

 

My main symptoms this past week have been a nerve or muscle pain from pelvis to ankle, which is hard to ignore.  Very distracting.  In addition, depression, fatigue, complete lack of motivation, exhaustion but I get to bed and am wide awake, headache, gas & bloating, sinus congestion, nausea.

 

Other than that, I feel great.

[[Ra...]]

UGH, that doesn't sound so great, you poor dear!  Nausea,  :'(  I haven't started tapering yet, I hope that is not a symptom I get.  You are tough, good for you! 

[[La...]]

MamaShoshanna "depression, fatigue, complete lack of motivation, exhaustion but I get to bed and am wide awake". Me too !!!!!! I have gotten to where I actually welcome the anxiety over the depression as I am at least pacing the floors or out walking my dogs. With the depression, it's difficult just brushing my teeth in the morning.

And yes, the waves. They get faster with less intensity, but still catch me off guard. There really isn't a trigger for them to give any warning either, they just happen.

Myself, I almost enjoyed a couple days of a reprieve. I say almost as it wasn't a full, total let up as in the past windows. It was relief and appreciated, but wasn't much. This morning finds me quite high strung, but not with that dismal confused feeling of confusion and "what am I gonna do today." I have direction within me this morning and have already accomplished a few things that I've been "thinking" about getting done.

 

I feel like I should be chanting or something in that order...

[[...]]

Hello Mama,

 

 

  Hope that you are doing better today!!                Just an update of Tinnitus and the Lipo-Flavonoids that i have been taking to ease the Tinnitus. They seem to be working, but not a significant difference so far. It's only a five weeks right  now, so still have a few weeks to get to sixty days as recommend by the manufacture. Will keep everyone informed of my progress and how or if the Tinnitus has disappeared. 

 

 

 

  Godspeed to you Mama and to all BB,   

 

 

 

 

Rocket

[[Ma...]]

MamaShoshanna "depression, fatigue, complete lack of motivation, exhaustion but I get to bed and am wide awake". Me too !!!!!! I have gotten to where I actually welcome the anxiety over the depression as I am at least pacing the floors or out walking my dogs. With the depression, it's difficult just brushing my teeth in the morning.

And yes, the waves. They get faster with less intensity, but still catch me off guard. There really isn't a trigger for them to give any warning either, they just happen.

Myself, I almost enjoyed a couple days of a reprieve. I say almost as it wasn't a full, total let up as in the past windows. It was relief and appreciated, but wasn't much. This morning finds me quite high strung, but not with that dismal confused feeling of confusion and "what am I gonna do today." I have direction within me this morning and have already accomplished a few things that I've been "thinking" about getting done.

 

I feel like I should be chanting or something in that order...

 

Lakeside: 

 

I noticed you and I were on similar doses...and that you did a 4-week taper.  That's almost cold turkey, like me.  Why such a short taper?  I c/t'ed out of ignorance, but honestly I don't know how much of a difference it makes or will make.  Too late now anyway.  Hopefully I won't have cause a protracted situation, but, again, I'm just pushing forward.

 

Very lethargic today.  Did two things requiring a moderate amount of brainpower this morning and now I'm spent.  The ol' brain doesn't like doing that much hard work.  It's like having a sprained arm and forcing oneself to use it.

[[...]]

Hello Rabbit11,

 

  Welcome to the blog of kind BB.  Hope that you are doing well today. I'm sure that you will feel better once you get the knowledge that you need to taper. 

 

 

Godspeed to you,   

 

 

 

 

 

Rocket

[[La...]]

Hi MamaShoshanna, my short taper came after the Dr. just took me off xanax after telling me to go from .5 mg at med time to .25 and begin taking zoloft and stop the xanax in 1 week. After that episode, I put myself back onto xanax and had to begin taking .5, three times a day to just level out. I quickly got to two times daily and then once at night and stopped after 4 weeks. I knew nothing about long tapers or GABA receptors. I just knew I needed off xanax and to not take zoloft.

 

My today is better than the last week or so. I'm having mild anxiety, but don't have to take any buspar for it quite yet. I actually have a bit of motivation and am taking full advantage of it too. No couch potatoe nor depressed guy here today.

[[Ma...]]

Most of us "recovering" from Xanax withdrawal seem to have similar symptoms & experiences, don't we?

 

My tinnitus is through the roof.  I had it from Day 1 but after I hit month 6 it really revved up.  Rocket, I used to record with headphones on, loudly, and could have caused some of this I think?  What do you think?  It was a few years ago.  I also take Wellbutrin which I know contributes to it because when my dosage was increased the tinnitus became unbearable so I lowered it back down.  That was before my Xanax kick.

 

CRAZY brain story:  I was telling my 25 year old daughter a story about an experience 30 years ago.  I was telling about a place we went, and I knew a few people were with me, and I asked my daughter, honestly thinking it made sense, "Weren't you with us?" (this was 5 years prior to her birth!)

 

Somehow, me being about 25 at the time of the story, and my daughter being that age now, caused a weird glitch in my brain where time got very mixed up.  First time anything that weird has happened...

 

ASIDE from during my first two weeks after c/t when visiting my sister, I walked into the wrong house, noticed it looked really nice so figured she redecorated, and made myself at home for five minutes before realizing I was in a stranger's home.

 

I want to find out where the Xanax factories are, and if I can see straight for a few minutes, and not pass out from dizziness and headache, and if I can bear the tinnitus, and walk on these aching feet and breathe through these stuffed-up nostrils....set fire to the place.

[[...]]

  Hello Mama,

 

  Just a short note about the headphones. From my part and what I have read, the cups would have to be very loud, maybe 90 DBS and louder to really give you Tinnitus. It's could be the pills. I wore he cups many times to mix and master my songs. And if my ears rang a little, it would go away in a few hours or so.

 

    I'm still doing the Lipi-Flavoniods, have a little change so far, but nothing to brag about yet. Will keep everyone posted about it.

 

 

    There just needs to be a few Lawyers that have Big Balls to take on the  Pharmacuitcal  companies in all our behalf. But that is another story for the books.

 

 

Godspeed to you and hang in there,   

 

 

Rocket

[[VC...]]

Hey MamaShoshanna - I get those brain glitches too, plus tinnitus seems worse since I reinstated regular dosing of xanax to calm my nervous system down. I'm not even tapering yet! Sure hope you feel better soon. Pushing through depression, blahs, tears, and just hopeless feelings that emerge now and then.

 

Rocket, Lakeside, everyone - appreciate your journeys...hope you are doing well today.

 

 

 

 

[[Ra...]]

Thank you for the welcome Rocket!  Nice to see you here VC! 

 

I'm feeling pretty stable right now, I think thanks to the Seroquel.  I went through an acute period for about 3 months where I was unable to work.  At the time I had switched my hormone therapy drastically and also was not getting much sleep and crashed badly.  Now I think the crash and the no sleep were caused by the Xanax use.  I was steadily taking 2mg every night, but taking it sporadically during the day as needed for anxiety.  It was only when I started the Seroquel that I started to feel stable.  I don't know if it's because it allows me to sleep most of the time, but it does put the brakes on the anxiety pretty good.  I haven't had any chest tightening or heart palps since I started the Seroquel.  I know Seroquel isn't ideal, but my choices were limited and I had to get stable fast or I was going to lose my 18 year old job.  I'm the main support of our family (hubby is disabled), so it's important I remain functional. 

 

I see my doc on March 7th, he will then prescribe the lower dosage pills I will need to cut from.  We discussed at the last visit.  I would guess I will start my taper that following week.  Currently I only have 2mg bars, which are not going to work for dry cutting.  I have to travel occasionally for my job which requires me to fly, so at this point water titration is not a good option.  I'm going to try to cut .0625mg every 2 weeks if I can.  I'm a real weenie when it comes to symptoms, so we'll have to see how this goes.  I'm not glued to any particular method or schedule.  So if the .0625mg every 2 weeks proves to be too much, I'll have to consider something else.

 

I look forward to being part of this thread 

[[Ra...]]

Does anyone every experience a kind of odd metallic smell?  I don't know if it's something in my house, but hubby doesn't smell it at all.  It started back when I had my acute period.  It was really bad then.  I was convinced it was coming from our furnace, so had hubby duct tape our vent in our bedroom closed.  Now that I'm more stable, the smell is not as bad, but when I focus on it, I can still smell it.  Am I crazy?

[[Ra...]]

Oh, here's another odd symptom I felt during my recent acute period, the tip of my nose would twitch, much like your eye will twitch, anybody ever have that?  I felt like Samantha on Bewitched.  When I told my doc about that one, he said he'd never heard of that.

[[VC...]]

Does anyone every experience a kind of odd metallic smell?  I don't know if it's something in my house, but hubby doesn't smell it at all.  It started back when I had my acute period.  It was really bad then.  I was convinced it was coming from our furnace, so had hubby duct tape our vent in our bedroom closed.  Now that I'm more stable, the smell is not as bad, but when I focus on it, I can still smell it.  Am I crazy?

 

Hi Rabbit! 

 

You know, I've had that happen to me, but not lately. In my case I had several mineral imbalances but I wouldn't be surprised if the benzo symptoms include altering our sense of smell. For the longest time, I thought the smell was inside my nose...I'd sniff and sniff like a dog everywhere I went.. ...asking my husband "do you smell that??" He never did. Wish I knew what to tell you. I don't smell anything right now, and it wasn't always metallic -  I even thought my house smelled bad and worried others might smell it too. (maybe I'm the crazy one!) Drove my husband bonkers getting him to check out the source of the "odor." One day it truly was a rotten potato in the kitchen! 

 

Never had the nose twitch, but yes on the eyelid twitch and beneath my lower lip. I just thought I needed more magnesium or something...

 

Rabbit, sounds like you have a good taper plan for early March! Juliea's story is remarkably encouraging. You're gonna be fine, taking it slow. 

 

 

 

[[Ra...]]

V, we could be twins!  I had my hubby sniffing all of the vents in the house to see where the 'smell' was coming from.  I still smell it from time to time, but not nearly like during my acute period.  Like you, I thought it was in my nose.  This is terrible, but I picked at my nose constantly (with a tissue) thinking it needed to be cleaned out.  I don't know what caused that, but it was weird.

 

Yes, Juliea is a wonderful inspiration although I believe she's a bit hardier soul than I am.  We'll see.  My hubby told me the other day (he was joking), buck up sissy pants.  A quote from The Big Bang Theory, one of my favorite shows.

 

I am both excited and nervous to start my taper, is that crazy or what?

[[...]]

  Hello BB,

 

  I like to add to that conversation. With the crazy nose smelling everything that is in the world. It did happen to me. I could smell a Buzzard on a Poop Wagon a mile away when I was withdrawing at the beginning of my crazy journey. My nose was like a Bloodhound Dog there for a few months. I could just smell anything that lingered in the air.    it's almost back to normal now. 

 

  But have days were I can't smell anything at all. But I have read a few blogs and forums that the senses close to the brain tend to be more enhanced during withdraws. But everyone seems to be a little different during their journeys. 

 

 

 

 

 

  Godspeed to you all,   

 

 

 

Rocket

[[VC...]]

Rabbit, I think we ARE twins! And I totally understand being both nervous and excited to start your taper. At least you've been here on BB to gather support and knowledge ahead of time. Last year when I first tapered, I did it on my own (naive) and probably too fast. Your hubby's comment made me snicker...you have my love and support, friend. 

 

Oi81, so you had the crazy nose-smelling stuff too, eh? Tickled me that you said you could smell a "buzzard on a poop wagon"...lol...it's true! Right now my HEAD is driving me crazy with tinnitus!! Constant high pitched shrill. UGH.

 

Blessings to everyone - hang in there.