Tapering off Ativan Support Thread

[[Bo...]]

Laelani,

 

this is no medical advise. the lower the doses get the worst the s/x get so if you can find a way to take it 4 times a day it might help. Ativannie is right. Exericise is the key, along with some supplements maybe? today I awoke feeling dizzy and a major headache. 2 advil didn't help. I decided to go outside and work my butt off. I literally got down working in the garden, cleaning the pool...lots of physical hard work. I felt great all day and still do. yes, I took my doses on schedule as you can see I'm holding until my next taper of .0625 which will be a during the day cut. I want this to be as smooth as possible. I am a single mom and a financial advisor. HA - I  have to make it work. I also worked out this morning and ran. I will sleep like a baby.

Stick to a plan no matter how difficult it may be.

I have to study now. got a big test this week. Wish me luck.

bonestied

[[at...]]

Laelani,

 

A couple of things. First, I wouldn't get some obsessive about dosing and intervals. This is a problem of mine. I think that I start getting obsessive about dosing when I'm afraid. Don't be afraid. You can take as long as you want.

 

Second, I'm not really sure why I split the dose at first. I think it was because I tried to cut .5mgs off the single nighttime dose all of a sudden and it did not work out well. After reading some information, I felt that splitting the dose on a fast metabolizing benzo like Ativan was probably better for tapering in the long run. When I did divide the dose, it caused W/D sx. I got through these because it made sense to me that it would be difficult to change but that I had to. However, now, I would say to do what feels best for you. We are not all the same and our bodies respond differently. If you are happy making cuts to a single nighttime dose and this has not caused much discomfort for you, you should continue. It's all about figuring it out and doing what is best for you. Unfortunately, there is no single solution for all people but there is a solution for you, you just have to listen to your body to find it. Don't worry, you will find it.

 

Lastly, realize that we are at the same dose. I feel a bit jealous because of all the suffering I had to endure to get down here where you are starting. So look at it that way: You don't have much to go. I know it seems hard but you will beat this. And remember, we are here for you, in the same boat. It is good to not be alone.

[[La...]]

YES I AM AFRAID AND OBSESSING!!!! I have soooooo many fears, & this is one of the hugest ones I've ever had to face!! I want to get it right so bad so that I never ever have to face the horror I've felt intermittently throughout the past few weeks!!

Yesterday was my best day yet through this entire process, & I felt it was because I'd made a choice to bump back up a step to .75 mg instead of .5. dosing 2 times daily with the larger dose at night to help me sleep. NowI feel as though I've screwed things up by changing things yet again! Yesterday I felt promise, today I feel so frustrated....and my family is becoming frustrated with me. They say they're not, but I can tell they are tired of hearing about it already!! This is so hard, and I'm so afraid of feeling like I'm going crazy! I find myself looking at other people and feeling so envious because they look as if they've never touched a benzo nor had to go through any of these sickening withdrawal symptoms! I just want to be normal again, and I want to scream that from my roof top!!!!!

Please keep your encouraging words coming.....I need them so bad right now:(

 

Thank you,

Laelani

[[at...]]

I know exactly how you feel.

 

I hate this too. I hate the fact that there are no answers except to suffer for months. I hate the fact that no one warned me. I hate the fact that my doctors put me on this poison. I hate the fact that I trusted them entirely.

 

Anger at the poison is a weapon against it. Use it. Get angry. Let it compel you to fight.

 

You are at .75. I wish I was there. I'm at .95. You have to go up a bit? I had to go up to my original dose after not being patient and tapering slowly.

 

Your family has got to understand. Show them the facts about this. Show them the testimonials from heroin addicts who say heroin withdrawal is 10 times easier than benzo withdraw. This isn't a joke. We have been left to suffer this in a world full of ignorance. Get mad! But do not let it beat you.

 

You are exactly where you want to be. Stabilize and drop. This is how it works.

[[aw...]]

Laelani,

 

Here's what worked for me. I was taking all 6 mg at once at bedtime. Naturally, I had terrible interdose w/d sx. I began by moving 1 mg "out of the darkness" into the daylight, taking 0.5 mg 8h after awakening and 0.5 mg 8h after that. I still got 5 mg at night, no problem sleeping. I held that for a week, then moved another mg out of the darkness. It took over 2 weeks to adapt to that change, but sleep evened out. I moved only 0.5mg at the next step, then another 0.5 mg 10 days later. The rate and pattern of change-over was dictated by my sx, so if it got too weird I could always slow down--I think I even backed up once.

 

Anyway, I started in mid-July and by October I was stable at 2 mg 3X day. My IW sx were way down. I felt about 400% better; my congnitive and mood sx were no longer disabling me, never mind scaring the family. I tried a couple of different taper methods, settled on one, and began my taper at Christmas.

 

Naturally, things would move quite a bit faster for you, but this is just to illustrate the approach that worked for me. IMO, 12 hour dosing with Ativan almost guarantees interdose withdrawal sx. In my experience, too.

 

Aweigh

[[at...]]

Laelani,

 

I would generally agree with what aweigh said although, I'm not really convinced that dose splitting is important until you taper to the point where you need to do it given the fast acting nature of Ativan. However, if you do dose split there are a few things to remember. First, the pill you take, either one 1mg or two .5mg, are very small. I ran into this problem just today. Dicing up a small pill isn't an exact science. This will become more and more of a problem as I go down. I'm actually looking forward to that problem though. That is why most people suggest a compounding pharmacist, one that can turn your medicine into a liquid so that you can taper with more precision. Next time you see your doc, ask about this.

 

Aweigh is right is suggesting that splitting the does too quickly can bring on W/D sx. It did for me when I went from one at night to AM/PM doses. Like everything related to quitting this horrible drug, anything that has to be done differently should be done slowly. If you are starting to feel the symptoms on your current dose, it's probably time to split. Shift over slowly, get comfortable, start the taper again. This is a systematic process that ensures that most people can taper without feeling those awful symptoms. Don't let the poison throw you off your game. This is going to take time, but we are always one day closer.

[[La...]]

Hello Everyone,

 

Just wanted to say thank you for all your love & support! I started dosing 3 x a day this past Tuesday, .25 every 6 hours, and today I can say that I'm having a good morning:) I'm hoping this feeling continues & that I'm on the road to stabilizing. I would like to switch over to water titration, as I find the accuracy of pill splitting to be not very inaccurate! I've already posted a new thread asking for instructions on how to do this.

 

My symptoms have improved....my biggest complaint is that my anxiety levels are up, so I need to find new, alternative ways on how to deal with it. My sleep is improving, & I'm trying to stay positive.

I hope and pray this continues....my question to you is this....how long should I stay at my current dosage of  .75.....and when should I cut again and how much? Any advice, opinions, thoughts, & comments are always greatly appreciated

 

Thank you so very much,

Laelani

[[at...]]

Laelani,

 

Since I'm in a similar situation, I would suggest starting it back up once you feel comfortable. For me, I divided into four from two and waited about a week. I think that I rushed it but as the W/D sx abated, I started the taper anyway.  Now, I still feel great as I have been tapering 1% a day. I'm at .90 and I'm going to see how long I can ride the slow train down.

 

I'm glad you are doing better. Keep us posted.

[[La...]]

Hi Ativannie,

 

Thank you for your reply. I'd like to start tapering within the next few days.

I have a question for you....are you pill cutting or using titration? I see that you are at .90 so I'm kinda thinking you're titrating. I left a message on the titration taper board asking for help on how I should go about a plan, but no one has responded. Wondering if you or anyone with experience can help me get started?

 

Thanks in advance,

Laelani

[[at...]]

Laelani,

 

I looked into titration before I started tapering. My main issue with it is that it seems like it would take a long time. I'm a very busy attorney, so I do not have extra time to fool around with beakers and whatnot. I barely have the time to scrape and cut the pills up.

 

I will say that I could be misinformed about the titration method as I have no experience with it. What I would suggest is going on youtube and doing a search on "benzodiazepine titration." There a number of videos describing the process.

 

And just for an explanation, I'm not really sure where I'm at. .90 is an estimate. I scrape what I think would be 1% (off my original dose, or .02mgs a day) with a knife. I equate one scrape with 1%. I have to admit, I'm probably going faster than 1% however, I feel okay for now. I'm goal is .80 in a few days. We'll see what that gets me.

 

Keep up the good work.

 

[[La...]]

Ativannie,

 

I can always count on you for a response....thank you:)

I've watched a couple online, & yes I think I understand it to some degree.

Was just hoping for a clearer picture of what my particular titration taper would look like.

Hopefully with the use of a calculator, I'll be able to figure it out....math has never been my strongest subject!!

I went through your posts to get a better idea of where you started your journey, & I must say I really

admire your positive attitude & strength. The fact that you're a busy attorney & doing this at the same time gives me hope. I know it's very much a mental thing & that we need to be strong & keep going no matter what....but some days it's just so hard. Anyway I just want to say thank you for showing me that yes it can be done & that we have tools to utilize when we're struggling. Especially support from one another:) 

 

Sincerely,

Laelani,

 

PS: Please add me to your prayer requests to St. Dymphna & I will do the same for you.

[[at...]]

Laelani,

 

Thank you, your post means a lot to me. I very much appreciate your words of kindness.

 

I am so glad you are doing better. I hope your taper is going to be comfortable as it can be. It sounds like you have a very good chance at that.

 

I know this is a difficult thing we do, one that no one truly understands unless they have been through it. Needless to say, I remain committed to the taper and I don't want to go too fast or too slow, I just want to see how low I can go.

 

Keep me posted and do not hesitate to ask questions. I, for one, will try to answer them with the best of my ability and as quickly as possible.

 

Thank you again for you kind words, they are like beams of light in a dark time.

 

I ask St. Dymphna to pray for you.

[[mi...]]

Hi Everyone;

I am currently on week 3 of the marsh program to taper from 1mg 3 x day using valium.

I would love to know who everyone else is using for support/ guidance through their tapers. I am in Canada and it was my family doctor that  put me on this nasty drug in the first place. Not only do I question his judgement now, I was shocked when I presented the Marsh program schedule to him and he said it must be new!

Would I be wise to seek a specialist? I have been taking the ativan since I was experiencing severe anxiety due to graves disease and my long term disability company suddenly cut me off.  That was last July. My family doctor refuses to deal with more than one issue at a time (seriously) and I really think a  shrink is in order. The best I can get without his referral is a community based drug withdrawal group but there is no doctor affiliated with them so I had to keep the family doc in the picture in order to get the scripts necessary for the taper. Since I started on the ativan I have had sinus surgery and a total thyroidectomy so plenty of drugs and changes to deal with.  Anyone have advice??

[[...]]

What's the Marsh program?

[[Ma...]]

After reading on these boards and knowing some people who have done the water titration method, I would not reccommend going that route.

 

I am glad I never did that.

 

It seems water breaks down the potency of ativan.  I think cutting the pills, or getting a professional solution, is much better.

 

Cutting the pills is a pain, but water titration is much more of a pain, and I think leads to worse side effects.

 

Keep it dry, I would say.

 

Anyone have any luck with dealing with parasthesia?

 

[[mi...]]

Wow, my brain is more scrambled than I realized!  I meant the Ashton method! 

[[at...]]

Dear friends,

 

It is said that George Frideric Handel wrote his famous “Messiah” to lend comfort to mankind. Indeed the soaring "Hallelujah" chorus is not only one of the most recognizable pieces in Western music but also one that sends the soul soaring with the promise of redemption. I am not Handel, nor can I say that I have contributed to humanity the way the great composer has. However, I am compelled to write my thoughts now because I feel that many of us suffering from our particular affliction need comfort. This is my humble contribution that I hope lends you comfort in the depths of your despair.

 

I have tapered from 1mg to .8mg of Ativan in the course of 10 days. This is a fast taper that I feel that I can manage. It certainly is not without symptoms. The worst for me is the often times crippling anxiety and depression. Right now, these horrible symptoms have abated but I still feel the pain. I have been spared the nausea, tinnitus, dizziness, trembling, insomnia and seizures that sometime accompany withdraw. For the most part I feel anxiety, depression, muscle soreness, and lack of focus. I am feeling these now as I write this and I tell you this because I want you to know that I am not emboldened because of the drug. When I have a good day, I'm often tempted to mock these symptoms but a little fearful voice tells me “you shouldn't do that, you know the symptoms might return.” But I say, why not mock them?

 

All of which brings me to my main message: We must grapple with our symptoms. We were put on these drugs for a reason. We had anxiety or whatever before we ever started taking these drugs. That anxiety is still there, at the very root of our withdrawal symptoms. It is only amplified by the withdrawal. It is still there and we never learned to deal with it properly. We surrendered ourselves to this anxiety without facing the underlying problems that caused it. In a sense, we surrendered to the anxiety by starting treatment with the drug. The drug was merely a cover for the real root cause of our problems. Instead of being active in confronting our issues, we passively let a drug mask them for a time of relative comfort which has now come back to haunt us.

 

That is why I'm not being passive anymore. That is why I choose to grapple with the symptoms. I choose to make them my own, to own what I myself caused to me. It is not all my fault. I certainly do not feel that I am totally to blame. However, I am responsible for the way I handle the symptoms that now afflict me. I have quit drinking, I work out everyday, I eat right, and I take supplements. I have the body of Greek god. (I do not tell you this to boast, but merely to point out the irony of being in the best shape of your life while have a brain that is gripped with unsettling symptoms. I can only imagine what I would be like if I did not do these things).

 

We aren't all to blame for why we are here but we are indeed here regardless. It is the inescapable fact of our situation. We can either choose to let the drug destroy us, to break the bonds of friendship, to deaden our emotions, to make us unconcerned about others who are suffering, to force our family member to watch helplessly as we suffer thereby causing them suffering or we can use this to make us stronger people. This is our choice. This is why I expect to grapple with the symptoms. I do not suggest going C/T but, however you taper, you will confront the symptoms at various levels of discomfort. Make those symptoms yours. Use them to make you a stronger, more caring person. Love your family more. Alleviate the suffering of others when you can.

 

Beating this addiction can mean beating so many problems in life. The answers are there. They dwell within us. Use what is in you and actively engage in this battle now. It is not a battle over a drug or any other problem in life but it is a battle for ourselves. Let those virtues of charity, mercy, and courage—that which is Divine in us, shine through. No drug can defeat things that are infinitely more powerful than it. You have the capacity to invoke these virtues at any time. Breathe them in and let them chase away the poison. When all is said and done let us then give thanks that we had the opportunity to peer into the blackness and that we came back stronger because of it. On that day when these horrible experiences did not cause us to lose what we most cherish is the day we say “Hallelujah!” I love you all. My God keep you and preserve you.

 

DJP

[[sa...]]

Dear Benzobuddies

I tapered off Ativan directly when many said it couldn't be done or you had to cross over to some other drug (see the first posts in this thread). Now I've come back here to let you know:

You can do this!!! I did it, and so can you. Just keep dissolving the Ativan, take your time to get "clean". It's been a while now and I has been worth it, every bloody step of the way. I lead a normal life again, have started running and feel good.

Thanks again for the incredible support here guys!

Satasha

 

[[Al...]]

Are you saying you we're only on it for four consecutive weeks? Then tapered over 4 months?

[[La...]]

Hello all,

 

Still holding steady at .75mg of ativan after a month of cutting down too fast to .5 mg. I was ok at first, but after an entire moth of this have fallen into a deep depression, which I had been diagnosed with years ago, have lost so much weight that I've become weak. and am not hungry, and have been stuck in my bedroom for days. Went to see my doc, &  she told me I needed an AD to help me. She prescribed 20mg of celexa....just don't know if I should start taking it. Has anyone else started on an AD while in a taper? If so did it help? I have an adolescent child to take care of....hate to have him see me in such bad shape. Not sure if I should wait it out or go for it. I know the saying is 'this too shall pass" but what happens if it doesn't? Makes me afraid to cut any further:( Can someone out there please help?

 

Laelani

 

[[at...]]

Laelani,

 

I think that I should tell you my entire story when it comes to these drugs. It is very similar to yours. I went to see a doctor because I was under the stress caused by law school and my marriage disintegrating. They prescribed me Lexapro (later switched to Celexa), Wellbutrin, and Ativan. From what you have listed, I think we have similar problems. I had to C/T all of these drugs about 3-6 months in (I can't remember exactly). The Lexapro caused this weird brain zap sensation that lasted for about 2 weeks. It was unpleasant but nothing like this. The other two were remarkably easy to quit at the time. I took the opportunity to stay off all but the Ativan against doctor's orders (I have recently come clean with them about this though).

 

To be honest with you, I think that the AD drugs are easier to quit or much easier to taper off. This is from personal experience. I'm just not getting back on them because I want to concentrate on the Ativan. I have a suspicion that they could help but I'm so over the pill game that I'm not going back on them. This is a personal choice and not a choice made out of fear of the other drugs.

 

I want you to know that you are in my thoughts and that I'm pulling for you. I know this must be incredibly hard for you. It is for me as well. But take heart in the fact that you were on a relatively weak dose of Ativan. You just need to figure out a comfortable means of tapering. Remember, reading the horror stories will make the anxiety worse when the odds are that you are just like most people in that you will have a successful taper and fully recover. It might take time but there is nothing better than to realize that these poison pills are getting smaller, day by day, week by week. Please let us know your progress and believe with me that we are going to make it back. I have no doubt that we will.

 

DJP

[[at...]]

Laelani,

 

I'm going to temper the words I said earlier about the other drugs because I have been reading conflicting information. For the most part, it is probably not a wise move to get on Celexa during Ativan withdrawal according to the various accounts that I have read. However, I'm not a medical professional and I doubt the others are either.

 

You have got to realize that what we see here on Benzo Buddies and elsewhere are the bad cases. There is no filter; you are getting largely non-professional advice that is not scrutinized by medical professionals. Sure, I distrust them too but Ashton is one herself and there are many that can render good advice. It would be beneficial if we could hear their ideas besides incomprehensible studies. We also never hear about the people who get off these things no problem. The people who get off these things with no problem rarely dwell on their experience because their experience was not worth writing about to them. That is part of the problem with what information we receive. It is good to know that even amongst the hard cases, most if not all recover.

 

We have anxiety, we had it before the pills. It is still there. It is being magnified by the withdrawal. Letting all these horror stories scare you and feed that anxiety is counter-productive. I know that is a hard realization but it is the truth. We can reduce our symptoms if we can control that root anxiety.

 

Listen to me. You are not one of the people who will have severe problems. God Bless these people (my heart goes out to them) but you are not one of them. Give the stabilization of chance. Grapple with the symptoms. Fight them! Get to where they are manageable and start a slow taper. You will be fine. But do not let that anxiety that you can control make it worse than it should be. 

[[ce...]]

Hello all,

 

Still holding steady at .75mg of ativan after a month of cutting down too fast to .5 mg. I was ok at first, but after an entire moth of this have fallen into a deep depression, which I had been diagnosed with years ago, have lost so much weight that I've become weak. and am not hungry, and have been stuck in my bedroom for days. Went to see my doc, &  she told me I needed an AD to help me. She prescribed 20mg of celexa....just don't know if I should start taking it. Has anyone else started on an AD while in a taper? If so did it help? I have an adolescent child to take care of....hate to have him see me in such bad shape. Not sure if I should wait it out or go for it. I know the saying is 'this too shall pass" but what happens if it doesn't? Makes me afraid to cut any further:( Can someone out there please help?

 

Laelani

Hi Laelani.

 

I tapered from Ativan. I'd been on and off benzo's for 20 years. I was deeply depressed, agoraphobic, bedridden, sick all the time and I refused ad's. I had been on every type of ad made for that many years and I had finally reached a conclusion.  All ad's have their own side effects and they are often difficult to get off of too.  Benzo wd cannot be resolved by adding other drugs.  I know this from experience.  Everytime I went in to see my doctor he handed me a new script and samples.  Evertime I would throw the samples away and rip up the script.  I would not add more drugs while tapering.  Psych drugs are often expensive and dangerous.  We buy into the lie that they are safe, or worse, even good for us. Go google Celexa (or whatever other drug your doc wants to give you) then read details about side effects, wd, etc.  It might give some perspective into this.

 

This is just my experience and my opinion on the matter.  I was able to get off benzo's without adding more drugs and I'm really glad I stuck to it. After the nightmare of wd, I am healthy and have my life back.

 

Lots of love,

Cedar 

[[so...]]

 

i have been taking Ativan 1mg/tid for many years...for quite a while now, my depression symptoms have worsened...I have been on several different AD through the years, most recently Cymbalta and Pdoc changed me to Prozac a month ago because at one time in the past it did help with the depression...

 

so, my Pdoc thinks I am grappling with anhedonia from the benzo use and suggested I taper from it... cut .5mg from one of the 3 doses...so, for the last 3 days I've been cutting the mid-day dose from 1mg to .5mg...I am pretty depressed and my sleep is not good...I feel "heavy" and no motivation to do much...

 

could someone please explain...very simply....what is going on with me so I can get through this...I need to remind myself of what's going on....I feel confused....

 

[[ce...]]

 

i have been taking Ativan 1mg/tid for many years...for quite a while now, my depression symptoms have worsened...I have been on several different AD through the years, most recently Cymbalta and Pdoc changed me to Prozac a month ago because at one time in the past it did help with the depression...

 

so, my Pdoc thinks I am grappling with anhedonia from the benzo use and suggested I taper from it... cut .5mg from one of the 3 doses...so, for the last 3 days I've been cutting the mid-day dose from 1mg to .5mg...I am pretty depressed and my sleep is not good...I feel "heavy" and no motivation to do much...

 

could someone please explain...very simply....what is going on with me so I can get through this...I need to remind myself of what's going on....I feel confused....

Very simply, you are having wd symptoms from benzo use.  Also, you are cutting way too fast.  Cutting .5 mgs is an enormous cut.

 

A couple of things.  How long have you been taking benzo's?  You said many years.

 

Also, what is your current total daily amount of Ativan?  2 mgs, 3 mgs, 4 mgs? 

 

There's really no confusion here, you are having symptoms from years of use and cutting too fast. Plain and simple.