Tapering off Ativan Support Thread

[[Sa...]]

Laser,  I don't know how to equalize my doses. To me I would have to updose  my 10:30am and 4pm dose that are now 3/8mg ? My next cut I was going to do was 1/32 off of my 9pm dose, which is next in line for the  cut. Do that for 3 days then cut another 1/32 off for 3 days all on that night dose that would total 1/16th.  Then wait a few days to make sure I'm stable. I heard that smaller cuts might help people  feel better ?

I still have a nervous stomach , some anxiety, ears ringing, breathing issuses, it is called Vocal Cord Dysfunction  and fearfulness. I have not left the house  but once in 10 days since my cut. Are those sxs that I  have live  to with everyday ?

If that is true I will have to "accept" that for what it is and know it won't get better for a long time. Then just keep cutting !

I'm very drug sensitive to many drugs.  Thank you, I don't feel so alone to know some else knows what it feels like to  be drug sensitive. It give me courage and hope to know I can do this .

 

I have a hard time comprehending things. I'm older and my husband is older yet , so it makes it hard to figure this all out. No Pity- Party  just a plain simple fact of life. So I appreciate all  the input you can give to me.

 

Kiddo and Saga , Thank you for all the support and knowledge !  I could not have made it without you assisting me with the scale and etc.  I  Love you  both !

 

Love ,Peace and Calmness,

Warrior

 

 

Warrior...my opinion only.. I honestly wouldn't worry about evening the doses...especially if it meant updosing...mine were never even...I think your cuts are manageable...it does sound like a lot of sxs but that's the way it happens sometimes in waves...I was terribly agoraphobic...Getting to work was tough. I once had a meltdown when I couldn't pull my car into garage and had to walk from the street into the house. It's a sxs...challenge it as best you can.

 

Some days are better than others trying to manage. Everything else is a sxs as well. They come and go at will...it does seem miserable at times, no doubt. You're doing a great job! Just keep making it through the day one day at a time...love you back

[[Mo...]]

Afternoon, buddies!! Having a pretty good day, again with the midday facial flushing at work. It's like I took one bite of my salad and BOOM red face. Little tension in the jaw and some head pressure, but nothing unmanageable. However, I'm a little freaked out because I waited to long to call in a refill, which needs approval because there aren't any refills left. My doc will approve it, but the recording said they expect to have it on Thursday. I have enough left for my first dose on Thursday morning. Talk about cutting it close!! I was also planning my next cut on Thursday, but may have to push it to Friday or Saturday depending on how this all shakes out. Plus I have my neuro consult Friday morning, so it might not be the best idea to do a cut so close to that. Kiddo, I'm sorry you're having a sucky wave right now...I hope it passes soon. Love to all! 

[[Sa...]]

Hi Mookie  glad you're having a better day! Try not to freak yourself out about the refill...yes it'll be close but you won't be out for a day...so it's all good live and learn and all that you know I thin waiting to cut after the neuro consult is a good plan. Just in case...err on the side of caution

 

Yes those are annoying sxs but like you said manageable...keep telling yourself they are only sxs...repeat often...

[[wa...]]

Kiddo, I was hoping you were almost out of the weeds. Now I will send a search party to find you. Watch for all the lights.  I do know  you  can do this, it will pass. I must admit it is hell while one is going through it !

 

It does show what kind of stuff we are all made of  ! True Grit !!!

 

I'm so grateful for all the support , love and kindness from everyone !. 

I really don't know where I would be right now.

 

  Saga, Thank you ,  It is from my heart  always ! Have  a beautiful day !

 

Mookie , So happy to hear your having a good day.

 

NorthRiver, Glad you found us ! Welcome !

 

Hounddog, Know we are all here for you.

 

Rose, I hope your taking care of you !

 

"  Life is like a box of chocolates - you never know what you're gonna get ."

 

That is how I feel each time I cut !

Love,Peace and Calmness,

  Warrior

[[Mo...]]

Doc and pharmacy are the best...refill ready for pickup tonight. One source of anxiety gone!! I know I've only been on this board a short time, but you are all just wonderful, and I'm glad to be a part of this little community. xoxo

[[Ki...]]

Love ya Warrior!!!  You're doing great!!!

 

Saga - My hero. Thank you. For everything. 

 

Mookie - Glad you got your script....that was stressing ME out  Normally, I'm much more chatty but I'm getting my ass kicked right now. Looking forward to getting to know you when I'm feeling better 

[[no...]]

Great to meet all of you and thanks for the welcome and encouraging words.  It's wonderful to know how you are all doing and gives me hope that I am on the right path.  I tried to look back in my calendar to see what my original (uninformed!) plan had been.  All I could find was that I had written down 1.5 on the last day of Sept. and then planned to cut ,5/month so that by the end of the term (I work at a Tech College) I would be "done".  HA!  Best words of wisdom so far have been to remind me that this is not a race.  It will take how long it takes. 

 

I know that over the summer I had been taking 2.5 and sometimes 3 mg a night to get to sleep.  I'm not exactly sure how I cut to 1.5 but I do remember the dizziness and foggy brained feeling.  It just wasn't that bad.  My plan got interrupted when I ended up in ER for terrible pain that turned out to be pancreatitis.  I have read some things here about "benzo belly".  Is it possible that the pancreatitis was a s/x from my taper?  Docs wanted to blame my alcohol use but that is laughable because I hardly drink at all and now that I have been at BB I know that I should totally eliminate alcohol.  I also stopped drinking diet cola since my hospital stay and I'm not eating as much of the greasy fried foods that are so convenient at fast food places.  It took a few weeks to recover from the hospital stay and maybe I am also adjusting to the caffeine/aspartame withdrawal as well.

 

Anyway, I am going to try to add an OTC sleep aid on Friday night so that if I don't sleep I at least have the weekend to play with.  I also have a 2 week break coming up so it will be easier to experiment then.

 

Thanks again everyone 

[[Ki...]]

NorthRiver - I don't know much about Pancreatitis except that it's usually common in men and heavy drinkers. I haven't heard of benzo's specifically causing it either, but if the actual pancreas was inflamed then it was likely not the benzo's. It's typical to see on the forum that people go for tests and they are almost always negative. Sort of frustrating for the sufferer, but ultimately glad that nothing's wrong. This class of drugs is nuts  Either way, glad you are over that now.

 

I hope the sleep aid works for you. Are you experiencing interdose withdrawal? Are you separating your dose through the day (multiple doses)?

 

Keep posting, we will help any way we can 

[[Sa...]]

Mookie so glad you had the refill taken care of right away...one less stressor

 

North your history of dropping is good to know and very familiar...I dropped 2 huge chunks the same way...as I think many of us did...sigh...if we only knew, right? Anyway that explains and it's good you had no huge issues until the hospitalization. Yes, I would wager part of that could indeed be benzo belly....it comes in many forms and I'm familiar with all of them!

 

About the sleep aids...I wanted to say I had no issues until I jumped off. Then sleep was a big problem. I rotated my OTC sleep meds since they seemed to poop out on me if I stayed with one too long. I used the "doxy" form of Unisom and I call it the fake Unisom( basically melatonin)...they seem to be the common aids most people try.

 

I think this thread tries very hard to stay positive about what can be a very challenging experience. Glad you feel welcome

 

Warrior 

 

Kiddo Awww  :smitten:

[[Mo...]]

So I did my next cut!! Felt kind of crappy yesterday, but again nothing huge. Same symptoms, just lasted longer as my body adjusts, I guess. Hopefully the next few days it gets better! I feel fine this morning, about to take my first .25 dose of the day. WHEEE!!! Hope everyone is well, or as well as you can be. xoxo

[[Sa...]]

Mookie that's great! Nothing huge is terrific news...just keep the attitude they are only sxs and you'll be off and running...glad it's going so well

[[...]]

I miss the ativan crew. I made the switch to valium recently and maybe updosed by accident but who knows. I've been having fewer withdrawal symptoms until today when panic and a feeling of insanity hit me again. Also I feel so stiff and weird at the p/t job I have, like I can barely smile. I had a few moments this morning when I felt nearly normal - I thought, OK, maybe I can try my old life again, re-apply (even at age 52) to the grad program I stopped, try to do the new career again... and then massive depression and insanity at 4 PM and friends talking to me about going to the hospital since I sounded so bad. Could be the season too, which always has hit me hard. Scared again. Thanks to all the ativan supporters.

 

Did/do others also get this loose, strange kind of insane panic feeling? I have other stuff -which is both "me" and these meds - continuing badly in my life but I keep wondering how ativan made it worse. It's a crime this drug was so easily rx'd to me.

 

[[Ki...]]

NYC - good for you for getting a part time job....you are really making progress. You may not see it, but I do. It's natural to get get waves/peaks of anxiety or bad feelings....at least it is/was for me. Mine was always in the morning, Saga's was always around 4pm...we called it "the witching hour". You taking steps in the right direction, focus on that 

[[La...]]

NYC, good job on the cross over to v. Hope its smoothe sailing from here on in (yeah, right  ).

 

Absolutely, much of my taper was filled with insane panic that tortured me to no end. Felt like I was at the end of my rope frequently. All gone now brother!

 

Keep in touch.

 

laser

[[Sa...]]

NYC good to see you here    great news about the part time job...Kiddo is right about the 4'o clock downturn...even now this happens almost daily...anxiety and panic are still an issue for me in my 6th month off. I think it goes with the territory...I wanna be like Laser

[[Th...]]

Hi Ativan-people !

 

Just wanted to say hi, glad to see that some of you are doing good/better.  NYC,  glad you are back to work!

 

I am doing great!  Down to twice a day, 0.125mg each.  Will cut evening dose in half tonight.  The last few weeks have been virtually symptom-free.  I started taking supplements a while ago, things that i read about in the supplement section here.  Taurine, Inositol and L-Theanine.

 

Looking into N-Acetyl-Cysteine. Maybe they are just expensive placebos, but since i started them i feel much more calm, the vibrations completely stopped, my memory is getting better, sleep is great.

 

So, who knows, maybe those supplements avtually make a difference for some of us.  I am thinking about tapering Lamictal down to 100mg when i am done with Ativan.  I used to be on 100mg for a while, then went up to 200mg.  Maybe stay on Neurontin for that taper.  Just wishful thinking, maybe, but it's worth a try.

 

I have been playing brain games every day.  Lumosity, word games, memory.  It was hard at first, but it is getting easier.  I also had to write a couple of papers for school.....my first papers since 1997!  That was an experience....research, then trying to make sense of the material, then writing it up in a way that makes sense.  Not easy, required all my focus, but i did it.  I don't even care what grades i get, i am just happy my brain was able to do this.

 

But i was completely exhausted after writing eavh one, and actually fell asleep for a few hours in the middle of the day.  Was late picking up the kids a couple pf times those days, but they were very forgiving lol.  They know that i am going thru something physically challenging, i didn't tell them details (they are too young for that),  and they have been really great.

 

That's it for now, long post, thx for reading, and i wish everyone symptom-free days!

[[Sa...]]

NoFun, WOW!!! Terrific news on all accounts...it seems you're going to be one of the lucky ones who gets off with minimal sxs. I'm so happy you're having a nice run with no sxs recently...that is truly amazing!

 

I can't say anything about the supplements since I haven't used any myself but if you see a difference keep doing what you're doing, LOL...I have done a lot of brain games myself and I do believe it helps. Nice to feel not dumber than dirt, you know  good job with the research papers...sounds like you're in a great place.

[[Th...]]

NoFun, WOW!!! Terrific news on all accounts...it seems you're going to be one of the lucky ones who gets off with minimal sxs. I'm so happy you're having a nice run with no sxs recently...that is truly amazing!

 

I can't say anything about the supplements since I haven't used any myself but if you see a difference keep doing what you're doing, LOL...I have done a lot of brain games myself and I do believe it helps. Nice to feel not dumber than dirt, you know  good job with the research papers...sounds like you're in a great place.

 

Hi Saga!!!    Yes, who knows about the supplements, it seems like a lot of people here get worse if they take something--maybe overload for a very upset CNS.  The brain games were HARD at first!  Especially memory.  I could only handle 8 cards at first, now i'm doing well with up to 30.  benzos really do a number on your short-term memory!!

[[...]]

NoFun, sounds great! Studying too. Brain games sound like a good idea as my mind feels really dumb.

 

Me, not so great. I was steady and then cut a bit several days ago and maybe it caught up with me. Feeling very unglued today. Yesterday I had a moment of hope. Today it all went to helll and I don't feel sane. I hear this is common but it scares the hell out of me, makes the future look like a wall.

[[Om...]]

Hey guys, thought Id drop by. Ive been benzo free for almost a month now and I don't really know what to say. I think Im over all more stable then what I was when I was tapering. Sleep steadily improved for a while then got worse 3 days ago. Last night it took a nose dive and I got maybe 30 minutes throughout the entire night. Im so very tired. I got hit with a wave of depression today that was pretty intense, but its almost gone now. I hope you all are doing good. I pray for each and every one of you. Please continue to keep me in your thoughts and prayers. I love you all <3

[[Th...]]

NYC, you switched to Valium, right?  I think the sxs show up a few days after a cut, unlike Ativan, where they start the same day or day after?  Something about the longer half life with valium.  So maybe it's hitting you later than with the Ativan, but hopefully you will feel better again soon!

 

The brain games are helpful, but i had to start slow.  Too much of it made my head spin.  Memory is the one i started with, it's a free app!

 

Omni, insomnia is THE WORST.  Could you try melatonin?  I am a praying person, too, and i will keep you in my prayers 

[[Sa...]]

NoFun yes I agree the short term memory issues are rough..that's one of the reasons I began to do the brain games...yes I was afraid to add supplements...but I'm glad you're seeing such great progress

 

NYC listen just hang in there really you're probably feeling the effects of the cut....everything you're experiencing is normal for w/d...really and truly I felt insane quite a bit...even now sometimes...people who are insane don't know they are though...really...just get yourself through an hour at a time...

 

Omni being off for a month is still considered acute...this is the hardest part by far...yes you will have many ups and downs...I'm sorry about the sleep but it's so common...just take care of yourself as best you can right now. Every day away is a victory...hope it changes soon...you can do this

[[Om...]]

Thanks for the support guys. Thisisnofun I take Benadryl and Melatonin, they just don't seem to work like they use to

[[Th...]]

Thanks for the support guys. Thisisnofun I take Benadryl and Melatonin, they just don't seem to work like they use to

 

Ok.  There is a combo pack, L-Theanine plus Melatonin.  It has worked for me in the past.  But i don't know how much you want to experiment.  I would feel horrible if that backfires on you.  You can do a search here for L-Theanine, that's how i found out about it.  Maybe read up the pros and cons.  Good luck!!

[[Mo...]]

Hi everyone!! Hope all is well out there in Ativan land. I had my neuro consult today, and he thinks, from the initial stuff done in the office, that I'm fine neurologically, but said "you have concerns, so we'll address them". SO NICE. So I have an MRI on Tuesday and an EEG the following week. Meanwhile, I think this cut is making me a little foggy, sluggish, and some head pressure. It's amazing how my body feels different on a daily basis! Also, I've started taking the L-Theanine, in a blend with lavender, lemon balm and chamomile. We'll see how that goes! Sending out love and strength to you all!