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Not getting approved


[Ca...]

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Hello Caddo, Welcome to BenzoBuddies!

 

I've just looked back through the Membership Approval board log for the month of October, and I didn't see any members we'd missed, so I'm not sure what happened.  :-\  No worries though, you're approved now.  Can you tell us a little about your situation, I'm assuming you're currently taking a benzodiazepine and would like some help to discontinue it?

 

Let us know how we can help you.

 

Pam

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Thank you Pamster.  It could have been an error on my part.

 

I've actually been going through protracted withdrawal for about three years.  I started on 1 mg. of clonazopam per day in early 2007.  During the summer of 2008 I cut the dose to half a mg. per day and three months later is when the problems began.  I didn't know that it was the clonazopam causing me to be sick and my psychiatrist didn't suspect it.  I suppose because I made the switch from 1 mg. to .5 mg. without any problems, but apparently I developed a tolerance.  I continued taking the clon and found myself in an endless cycle of being sick with massive anxiety all while trying to continue working.  I was taking my clon just trying to get through the day, although it wasn't really helping.  It was hell.  The depersonalization was so bad and the dizziness and head pressure were crippling.  I can't even describe the anxiety I was experiencing.  I don't even know how I was able to drive.  I would just shake through the whole day until I finally made it home, and then I would wish the next day would never come.  I was going to doctor after doctor trying to figure out what was wrong with me, and not a single one made the connection that it was the clonazopam causing me to be so sick.  I even had a brain MRI performed.  I was calling in sick to work often and sometimes taking as much as a week off.  Once I had to take an entire month off.  I continued like this until June of 2009, when my job finally made me go on medical leave.  I was  relieved that I could finally take some time off and not have to worry about getting fired.  I could finally go to enough doctors to get to the bottom of this.  I was hopeful that during my medical leave somebody would figure out what was wrong with me and be able to fix it.  But that didn't happen.  My medical leave term expired and I wasn't able to return to work, so I was let go.  I was living with my parents at this point and my mother was convinced that I was a hypochondriac and making the whole thing up.  The despair and depression continued to mount. 

 

When I went on medical leave I stopped taking the clon on a daily basis, and only taking rescue doses when I left the house.  This was about one to three times per week.  At this point my system was so sensitive that I only needed 1/8 of a milligram to feel somewhat calm, and that was all I would take at once.  I was still going to doctors trying to figure out what was wrong with me, and still not a single one had any clue that it was from the clonazopam.  One doctor even wanted me to start taking it daily again, and gave me a new prescription.  I declined to do this, but did still continue with rescue doses as needed.  Since no doctor could figure it out, I had no choice but to research it myself.  I had been researching my symptoms since they began, but never could come up with anything conclusive.  Finally I stumbled onto an autonomic dysfunction website, and I became convinced that this is what I had.  I got on a couple of forums and my cardiologist even diagnosed me with low blood pressure and exercise intolerance, which are indicators of autonomic dysfunction.  As I would talk to people in the forums there was always one thing that left me wondering if this was what I really had.  While many of the symptoms were the same, there were still so many that were different.  The one thing, the most debilitating one of all, was the squeezing brain head pressure and the feeling of being pulled to one side.  I started looking through the internet again, and one day it dawned on me. 

 

I had suspected that it was the clonazopam making me sick at the very beginning, but because my doctors never suspected it I let go of the idea. But I decided to research this one day and finally made the connection.  I was reading about other peoples' symptoms and how much like mine they were.  And then I learned about tolerance withdrawal, and protracted withdrawal.  Up until now I had always thought benzo withdrawal only lasted a few days, but now I knew this was exactly what was happening.  This was last march that I discovered this, which means that I was in protracted withdrawal for two and a half years and didn't know it, all while taking rescue doses at least once a week.  I can now say that I have been benzo free since then and I'm feeling much better these days, but still not one hundred percent.  I still have a lot of food sensitivities that rev up my symptoms.  Infact, there isn't much I can eat.  It seems as though the healthier something is the worse it makes me feel.  I can't tolerate fruit or vegetables, oils, lemons, nuts, ceyenne pepper, or supplements of any kind.  I'm still a little foggy and disconnected, and often wonder if I will ever return to normal.

 

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Oh wow Caddo, your story breaks my heart.  I've seen many members go through a horrible time, with no help to find the cause, until they finally figure it out for themselves.  I'm so glad you finally connected the dots, and that you're slowly getting better, but what a hard journey it's been.  To lose your job, and to suffer for so long not knowing what was wrong, I'm sure has taken a huge emotional toll on you.

 

Please keep coming here so we can help you to know you will get better and that you're not alone.  :mybuddy:

 

 

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Thank you.  It has been a rough few years.  I actually began taking clonazopam for depersonalization disorder and panic disorder.  I haven't felt normal for five years now.
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You were given a drug to treat something it can create when we become tolerant to, or try to withdraw from, I'm so sorry.  :(  I hope when you finally become free from the effects of the drug, you'll find things a bit more manageable.  Please feel free to look around, I'm sure you'll find others who you can relate to.
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Thank you Pamster.  It could have been an error on my part.

 

I've actually been going through protracted withdrawal for about three years.  I started on 1 mg. of clonazopam per day in early 2007.  During the summer of 2008 I cut the dose to half a mg. per day and three months later is when the problems began.  I didn't know that it was the clonazopam causing me to be sick and my psychiatrist didn't suspect it.  I suppose because I made the switch from 1 mg. to .5 mg. without any problems, but apparently I developed a tolerance.  I continued taking the clon and found myself in an endless cycle of being sick with massive anxiety all while trying to continue working.  I was taking my clon just trying to get through the day, although it wasn't really helping.  It was hell.  The depersonalization was so bad and the dizziness and head pressure were crippling.  I can't even describe the anxiety I was experiencing.  I don't even know how I was able to drive.  I would just shake through the whole day until I finally made it home, and then I would wish the next day would never come.  I was going to doctor after doctor trying to figure out what was wrong with me, and not a single one made the connection that it was the clonazopam causing me to be so sick.  I even had a brain MRI performed.  I was calling in sick to work often and sometimes taking as much as a week off.  Once I had to take an entire month off.  I continued like this until June of 2009, when my job finally made me go on medical leave.  I was  relieved that I could finally take some time off and not have to worry about getting fired.  I could finally go to enough doctors to get to the bottom of this.  I was hopeful that during my medical leave somebody would figure out what was wrong with me and be able to fix it.  But that didn't happen.  My medical leave term expired and I wasn't able to return to work, so I was let go.  I was living with my parents at this point and my mother was convinced that I was a hypochondriac and making the whole thing up.  The despair and depression continued to mount. 

 

When I went on medical leave I stopped taking the clon on a daily basis, and only taking rescue doses when I left the house.  This was about one to three times per week.  At this point my system was so sensitive that I only needed 1/8 of a milligram to feel somewhat calm, and that was all I would take at once.  I was still going to doctors trying to figure out what was wrong with me, and still not a single one had any clue that it was from the clonazopam.  One doctor even wanted me to start taking it daily again, and gave me a new prescription.  I declined to do this, but did still continue with rescue doses as needed.  Since no doctor could figure it out, I had no choice but to research it myself.  I had been researching my symptoms since they began, but never could come up with anything conclusive.  Finally I stumbled onto an autonomic dysfunction website, and I became convinced that this is what I had.  I got on a couple of forums and my cardiologist even diagnosed me with low blood pressure and exercise intolerance, which are indicators of autonomic dysfunction.  As I would talk to people in the forums there was always one thing that left me wondering if this was what I really had.  While many of the symptoms were the same, there were still so many that were different.  The one thing, the most debilitating one of all, was the squeezing brain head pressure and the feeling of being pulled to one side.  I started looking through the internet again, and one day it dawned on me. 

 

I had suspected that it was the clonazopam making me sick at the very beginning, but because my doctors never suspected it I let go of the idea. But I decided to research this one day and finally made the connection.  I was reading about other peoples' symptoms and how much like mine they were.  And then I learned about tolerance withdrawal, and protracted withdrawal.  Up until now I had always thought benzo withdrawal only lasted a few days, but now I knew this was exactly what was happening.  This was last march that I discovered this, which means that I was in protracted withdrawal for two and a half years and didn't know it, all while taking rescue doses at least once a week.  I can now say that I have been benzo free since then and I'm feeling much better these days, but still not one hundred percent.  I still have a lot of food sensitivities that rev up my symptoms.  Infact, there isn't much I can eat.  It seems as though the healthier something is the worse it makes me feel.  I can't tolerate fruit or vegetables, oils, lemons, nuts, ceyenne pepper, or supplements of any kind.  I'm still a little foggy and disconnected, and often wonder if I will ever return to normal.

 

cado, welcome to benzo land!! wow that really sucks what you have gone through. it double sucks that you had to be your own doctor to figure this  out AND had to pay for all of it. The benzos cause so many symptoms but one of the worst is chronic fatigue. They also cause muscle deterioration. You will find many great people here to help you find a way and support you in whatever you decide. good luck on a speedy recovery,rstud
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