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I've been lurking for about 8 weeks and thought it was time to join in. I am 65 days out on a cold turkey and having some setbacks. Would love to get some feedback.
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Hi Cantbelieveit123,

 

Welcome to BenzoBuddies. A cold turkey can be hard. Can you give us more information? What kind of benzo were you on and for how long?

 

 

Hope

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Hi Cantbelieveit123,

 

Welcome to BB's and congrats on being benzo free.  There are others that have gone cold Turkey and they can probably be of help to you.

 

Popcornlady

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I don't have a signature or anything, but I was on .25-.5 mg Xanax for about 15 months. I was prescribed them by my GP during graduate school (while working full-time). I didn't have any idea what the ramifications of taking them was, and when I finally realized that the pills were causing things to get worse and not better (in August of this year) it was, to say the least, too late! I took a leave of absence from work, but I didn't have any idea what I was doing when I threw the pills away (even though I now know that I was in tolerance withdrawal anyway, since there was no updosing during my time), so no taper. The day after I threw them away, I ended up in the psych hospital for a 5 day phenobarbital "detox". I thought at that time, too, that my problems were over. I had no idea, still, about the power of this poison. I got substantially worse when I got home from the "detox" and the phenobarbital wore off. I then commenced my journey into HELL! I found BB at some point in the midst of that (not sure on timeline....the first four weeks are a bad flashback with no beginning and no ending) and realized what must be going on. Haven't had all of the physical symptoms that many others here have had, but the crazy train has been parked on my doorstep for 65 days! The thought of having to put up with the anxiety for many more months is a horror in itself. The setback that I mentioned is that I tried to "visit" my job for half a day yesterday to see if I was ready to go back to work on Halloween. I completely FREAKED! I have a very high stress job (primary school teacher) and when the 18 kids came at me to ask me questions, it pushed me over the edge. Since I was just visiting, I left early. The anxiety shut my brain completely down, and it didn't let up (still feeling the residuals of it tonight). I have been fighting the "I'll never be normal or able to do my job EVER AGAIN" all day. I managed to get my leave extended for 8 more weeks, but the benzo brain is telling me that it won't be enough. Don't know what I'll do if it's not. I may have to resign. More benzo thoughts......losing house, husband, daughter....blah, blah, blah. Want the lizard brain to SHUT UP!!! Thanks for letting me vent!
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so sorry to hear about your c/t and journey to hell.

 

there are many here who can relate. 

So glad that you found this forum.

 

ask questions

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Welcome Can'tbelieveit123.  I am so sorry to hear of your terrible road here.  I also just read here for four months before joining.  There are so many fine people on here who have also c/t'd and detoxed and are healing. You'll find lots of good support here on the inside.

 

All the best and better days to come,

 

Benzohno

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