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Intrusive thoughts?


[ai...]

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Hi BBs,

 

I keep reading about 'intrusive thoughts' in your posts and other places on benzo withdrawal but really don't know what they are...I think I'm having them but not sure. Is it when you have a sudden negative thought? Does it just interrupt your thinking? I also have horrible catastrophic thoughts upon wakening...are those intrusive thoughts? They're very distressing and have been happening since I've been in tolerance withdrawal and tapering...these thoughts are not my pre-benzo behavior...I'm normally a 'glass half full' person. Please share your thoughts and experiences...

 

Thanks so much for being here!  XXOO

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aiw,

 

Intrusive thoughts are any abnormal thoughts, thoughts that are not the norm for you.  They can seem to come out of nowhere, or can ruminate from something in your environment.  They can be obsessive in nature at times, and difficult to clear.  Often they are negative in nature, or will cause doubtful thoughts contrary to your normal beliefs.

 

I personally hate this one.  I was plagued with them for the first three months of w/d...then they spontaneously went away--only to make reappearances in later months.  I try to always keep some sort of background distraction, like having the TV on for example, to distract my mind from them.

 

What you have described sounds like this is what you are experiencing.  It is very uncomfortable and I hope this one passes for you soon.

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I don't think I could explain it any better than Perseverance did.  I've dealt with intrusive thoughts throughout my withdrawal and I'd guess yours are due to withdrawal as well.
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yeah, intrusive thoughts most typically are when you find yourself start visualizing either terrible things happening to you or loved ones or doing terrible things to you or loved ones that you would never actually do (as in, it's not a real plan of action, it's just a highly distressing notion to you that pops into your head).
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Intrusive thoughts for me are remembering something that happened in the past, never the good things, just the bad, then it causes anger. I find it's like a form of PSTD.

 

Frannie 

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Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts Perseverance, Rico, sweet g, and Frannie...it helps so much. Mine aren't of the violent type...thank goodness...my heart goes out to all that suffer with those. They're more irrational fears I guess...like a loved one will be mad at me for something, or someone will get sick, or I'll lose a friendship...but there's a horrible sinking feeling that always comes with them. That must be the impending doom feeling...so the thought is a rational, everyday fear but the feeling that comes with it is horrible...it makes the fear feel irrational. Its really hard to explain...does this make sense to anyone? Really would appreciate more input...these are really distressing for me.

 

Thanks again...  XXOO

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OHHHH, that would be irrational fears...sorry.  Maybe you are having a combo.  I was in my 2nd month when the tornado outbreak hit and oh my word...my mind was STUCK on that and I was TERRIFIED it was going to happen to us, lol!!!  Also the fears you mentioned fall into that category.  That one left with the intrusives, and came back less intense a few times.  It will eventually pass however, so hang in there!
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Thanks again Perseverance...that makes sense. And really, if I think about it, irrational fears go with anxiety... jeez, this withdrawal robs me of any rational/logic thought...be so glad when its over. I'm trying so hard to accept wd and everything that comes with it but now that the irrational fear and sense of doom has hit, I'm faltering...wish I could accept these sxs as par for the course like everything else so far. 

 

Thanks again Perseverance for your time and encouragement!  XXOO

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I actually had something called intrusive memories.  Ashton talks about them in her manual.  Fascinating but scary. 

Things come up that you haven't thought about in years--often visually almost like hallucinations.

 

One example is that my son threw a pen across the room.  I thought the flying pen was a toy from my childhood.  One that I rarely played with and would have NEVER remembered in a million years.  It wasn't until the pen landed that I saw it was a pen and not the toy.

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Thanks ittakestime...that sounds a little spooky, I hope I don't have any of those. Its good to know that they're part of wd...thanks so much. XXOO

 

 

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Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts Perseverance, Rico, sweet g, and Frannie...it helps so much. Mine aren't of the violent type...thank goodness...my heart goes out to all that suffer with those. They're more irrational fears I guess...like a loved one will be mad at me for something, or someone will get sick, or I'll lose a friendship...but there's a horrible sinking feeling that always comes with them. That must be the impending doom feeling...so the thought is a rational, everyday fear but the feeling that comes with it is horrible...it makes the fear feel irrational. Its really hard to explain...does this make sense to anyone? Really would appreciate more input...these are really distressing for me.

 

Thanks again...   XXOO

 

Oh yes, I can validate this one.  Sometimes when I have the thoughts my whole chest area is filled with the most horrid feeling ever.  Like being flooded with ugliness.  I've also had some real creepy feelings inside from the thoughts.  Come to think of it, I haven't had those in awhile.  But boy do I remember those!!!  The nice thing is that those feelings pass rather quickly each time ... thankfully.

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aiw....

 

Aww I had these as well there the worst feeling of Doom! Its more Doom and Gloom I think then those disturbing

Intrusive thoughts those are diff. I had them both. As for the Intrusive 1s. Those were Creeeppy !!!!

I just pushed those away as soon as they came. I know me and they werent of my thoughts I was like O Hell NO. I will not believe this. Noway. But for the Doom and Gloom those were like a powerful overwhelming feeling of something terrible was going to happen. I mostly thought my little boy whos 6 was going to die ...Alot I thought that. Let me tell you I tryed to push it away but it was heavy.. Its completely w/d playing tricks on us.. I just continued to self talk and use the rational part of me to say.. Noway this is crazyness like for real ...You hang in there these thoughts will start to regulate and you will have a release of this...Hang in there ...

 

~Jenny

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