parker out there?? And some interesting info out there for peepz going thru w/d

[[cn...]]

Hope this is the right place to write this.

 

Parker, I was reading some of your progress log.

 

I too gained about 7 pounds on Remeron. I did however eat quite a bit at the beginning, but welcomed this b/c at the time I weighed only 135lbs. I now weigh about 142lbs.

 

How much Remeron are you on? I was on 15mg, but it sort of pooped out... and I think it actually gave me some anxiety in a way? Maybe it was just w/d? I dunno.

 

But 15mg wasnt helping me sleep anymore. But 7.5mg is just enough for me to sleep peacefully somewhat, without the grogginess in the morning.

 

I've also not been too hungry except right after I take it at night around 11pm, which is fine, b/c I'll just have a "midnight snack" if you will which consists of nacho cheese dip and chips, a gronola bar, maybe a couple of doritos, a big glass of milk... and maybe a small bowl of captain crunch.... okay maybe 2 bowls. LOL. Gross huh?! I really don't eat all that... but you know how it makes you hungry for bad food. lol.

 

Anyways, I really think the Remeron is helping with w/d symptoms. I actually look forward to taking it at night, it just helps me a little remember that its going to help me chill out a little more and sleep a little better.

 

And as for the anxiety, I don't really know if it's helping a whole lot or not. I have had 2 days of full windows. =)

 

My psychiatrist today said that what the Remeron is doing is working on many many receptors in the brain, causing a mass production of serotonin etc. in return gaba is being made again while the other gaba receptors are healing.

 

He said how benzos work on the gaba cells is that there is something called up and down regulation? I may not be telling this correctly. He said that when a benzo attaches itself to a gaba cell, it slowly brings it down... making us feel relaxed and calm.

 

When the benzo wears off... the cell goes back up, and starts craving the benzo and can go a little out of control if you will, hence causing anxiety and other unwanted symptoms!

 

I find this stuff I find out from him very exciting and intriguing. And it just helps me keep going and very very motivated about this whole ordeal.

 

He said motivation is a HUGE key! SO KEEP PUSHING MAN! KEEP GOING!

 

Don't let a little D/P, or D/R let it get in its way. Just try to find PEACE in however you are feeling.

 

He said with the anxiety... the body does NOT like anxiety. So when anxiety happens, it usually shows itself in a physical way... but he said sometimes what really helps is trying to turn that anxiety into something GOOD.

 

Instead of just pacing around freaking out, try to clean the house. Make use of all that bad energy. He said many many anxious individuals write the most beautiful poetry in times of anxiety/depression.

 

Take a bike ride, work out, get that energy out! and try not to let it stay in. He said it may not take care of ALL the anxiety, but it should def. bring it down at least a hair if not more! I totally agree!

 

He said to his knowledge no signs of brain damage have ever been shown through benzo use. He said people who have some issues with memory and stuff, there are other parts of the brain that change some due to the affects of anxiety, whether its us, or benzo w/d. The temporals on the sides of the brain are responsible for a lot of memory, and they actually shrink in times of stress, anxiety, etc. I've been having some memory issues, not as bad now. He said thats probably why though.

He said a lot of people have memory issues while on benzos, but can also have that effect when coming off too.

 

You just learn lots of neat stuff in therapy. I'm just glad I found a Psychiatrist who doesn't want to keep pushing drugs on me. He loves seeing me come off these pills.

 

Hang in there Parker, and everyone else!!

 

I just want to say to some of those out there that are REALLY REALLY suffering with deep deep depression, ANTI-DEPRESANTS ARE NOT BAD!

 

I'm not pushing them by NO MEANS. But AD's can REALLY REALLY help us get through some of these TOUGH TOUGH times. And AD's are also temporary! And the good news, they typically arent ANYTHING LIKE BENZOS!! They ARENT benzos. I know some people with bad bad anxiety, some AD's can cause higher anxiety... but if you are seeing the right Dr. there is something out there to help!! Also CBT!!! Therapy!!! GREAT GREAT STUFF!!!

 

Love to all!~ (window day #2) =)

[[pa...]]

Thanks cnotr! Yes - I feel the Remeron is helping me, too. And yes - I definitely have gained weight - but I, too - was NOT eating before the jump. Even in tolerance to the same dose, I was losing weight.  And I know it's because I had no appetite. I was depressed. So - the Remeron has helped in that way, but I also need to try and remember now NOT to overeat - because I dont' want a whopping weight gain on top of all of this.  Anyhow- it's neat that you shared all that about the GABA and serotonin. I had no idea. But that is awesome.  I'm supposed to go back to the pdoc on Hallween.  On that day, I'll be 28 days post-jump. I wonder how long I will need to STAY on the Remeron?  Did your pdoc discuss this with you at all?  Any idea what your plan will be?

[[cn...]]

I think I can stay on the Remeron as long as I want. I'm on such a low dose 7.5mg.

 

But I'm gonna try and go off it soon. Once I'm done with my taper. So in a few weeks I'm dropping the Remeron.

 

My Psychiatrist said when I drop it... if I feel like I need to re-instate it I can no problem.

[[re...]]

Cnotr

the benzo hits the benzo receptor on the GABA and forces open the chloride ring of it so the receptor take in more GABA. Like most things that are "forced" to do anything, they give out. The GABA receptor is eventually absorbed into the neuronal axon so you have LESS GABA receptors in your body. After you stop the benzo, you need a long time for those "abused" receptors to figure out they can come back online. The brain takes a long time to repair itself.

 

This is how I have understood the process. If I am incorrect, hopefully others will come along and correct this.

 

I would be careful to trust your doctor about the mechanics of Remeron on any other psych drug. At the end of the day we do not know HOW alcohol causes intoxication. We just know that it does. Be wary of anyone who tells you they know how a drug affects the brain. We dont have all the answers. We don't know how benzos affect other transmitters in the brain. We know some about their impact on GABA but there are a lot of other sites it could possibly up or down regulate.

 

There is NO magic pill to help you heal from the damage of another pill. Just takes time. And patience. And  lot of self compassion.

[[re...]]

 

One more thought. Memory is stored in your hippocampus. You may want to google it. Your emotional memories that are traumatic are stored in your right amygdala.

 

There are different types of memory. It is interesting to google it and discover ways your brain works and stores information.

 

I am happy Remeron works for you. I could not take a tri- AD. I hallucinated on them.  They are old drugs and are known to be "dirty," that is they affect more than their target.

 

If it works for you that is great. But not everyone can take them as they affect so many body systems, such as cardio etc.

 

 

[[cn...]]

thanks recoveringfrombenzoz for that information. maybe I should just start seeing you instead of my psychiatrist. lol.

 

I don't really recall the "exact" name of the temporal cortex memory thing he was saying that effected short term memory issues with benzo use and w/d and also with just plain anxiety. I just found it interesting that things like this can effect short term memory.

 

Sorry if I explained it wrong.

 

I just can't help to feel that you are kind of wanting to make us mad? or me mad? or discourage me? I feel confident in my psychiatrist.

 

I feel confident in Remeron.

 

But just some of your comments like "Remeron is a DIRTY DRUG."

 

Makes me kind of panic?

 

I know there is no magic pill that will heal or cure gaba receptors... but why do lots of people take AD's then? I'm not saying they are helping our Gaba receptors heal, but if it takes the edge off of w/d and some symptoms... why not take one for a bit? then discontinue?

 

Sorry if I read your comments wrong.

 

 

[[Po...]]

thanks recoveringfrombenzoz for that information. maybe I should just start seeing you instead of my psychiatrist. lol.

 

I don't really recall the "exact" name of the temporal cortex memory thing he was saying that effected short term memory issues with benzo use and w/d and also with just plain anxiety. I just found it interesting that things like this can effect short term memory.

 

Sorry if I explained it wrong.

 

I just can't help to feel that you are kind of wanting to make us mad? or me mad? or discourage me? I feel confident in my psychiatrist.

 

I feel confident in Remeron.

 

But just some of your comments like "Remeron is a DIRTY DRUG."

 

Makes me kind of panic?

 

I know there is no magic pill that will heal or cure gaba receptors... but why do lots of people take AD's then? I'm not saying they are helping our Gaba receptors heal, but if it takes the edge off of w/d and some symptoms... why not take one for a bit? then discontinue?

 

Sorry if I read your comments wrong.

 

 

 

I can't recall the names offhand, but I do know that there are buddies who have taken Remeron.  You may want to put Remeron in the search box and see what other people have to say about it.  We have to gather multiple opinions, not just one.  Drugs all work differently on different people.  If you have confidence in your doctor that is important.  I don't think recoveringfrombenzos intended to upset you.  Good luck on your journey.

 

Popcornlady

[[re...]]

Oh Cnot

I am SO sorry if I come off as trying to upset you. My TRUE apologies. I am having a bad day so maybe my emotions are spilling over.

 

I upset Jittery in a post a few weeks too, so I will do my best to be more mindful of how I come off. I mean well, really!

 

I am happy Remeron is working for you. Truly, I am.

 

I just get frustrated when doctors act as if they know the mechanical action of a pill on the brain. They do not know the whole story. To infer to any patient that they do is wrong in my very humble opinion. I am struggling to right my life after 19 years on a benzo that my very prominent doctor put me on and I agreed to take after his very well explained story of how the brain works and how benzos work. Clearly he didnt tell me the WHOLE story and I am suffering because of it.

 

I'll be more mindful of my words in posts from here on out. Thanks for voicing your feelings.

[[cn...]]

You're good buddy. :)crossing hope you are feeling good.

[[Ho...]]

Oh Cnot

I am SO sorry if I come off as trying to upset you. My TRUE apologies. I am having a bad day so maybe my emotions are spilling over.

 

I upset Jittery in a post a few weeks too, so I will do my best to be more mindful of how I come off. I mean well, really!

 

I am happy Remeron is working for you. Truly, I am.

 

I just get frustrated when doctors act as if they know the mechanical action of a pill on the brain. They do not know the whole story. To infer to any patient that they do is wrong in my very humble opinion. I am struggling to right my life after 19 years on a benzo that my very prominent doctor put me on and I agreed to take after his very well explained story of how the brain works and how benzos work. Clearly he didnt tell me the WHOLE story and I am suffering because of it.

 

I'll be more mindful of my words in posts from here on out. Thanks for voicing your feelings.

 

[[Ni...]]

Oh Cnot

I am SO sorry if I come off as trying to upset you. My TRUE apologies. I am having a bad day so maybe my emotions are spilling over.

 

I upset Jittery in a post a few weeks too, so I will do my best to be more mindful of how I come off. I mean well, really!

 

I am happy Remeron is working for you. Truly, I am.

 

I just get frustrated when doctors act as if they know the mechanical action of a pill on the brain. They do not know the whole story. To infer to any patient that they do is wrong in my very humble opinion. I am struggling to right my life after 19 years on a benzo that my very prominent doctor put me on and I agreed to take after his very well explained story of how the brain works and how benzos work. Clearly he didnt tell me the WHOLE story and I am suffering because of it.

 

I'll be more mindful of my words in posts from here on out. Thanks for voicing your feelings.

 

Hi cnotr,

 

I agree with Popcornlady.

 

If it were me and you have concerns about Remeron, I would research it more thoroughly. If you trust your doctor, and it seems to be working for you then I think that's great. I think recoveringfrombenzoz's is just stating what they have learned--and that is okay too, I can't speak for them, but I don't think recoveringfrombenzoz's is trying to make anyone mad.

 

There are psycho-pharmacologists who debate these very same issues. We are here to support one another and give one another feed-back on our own experiences. We are all different in how we react to medications, I happen to be sensitive to many so I'm glad to get the feed-back. Let us know how it works for you.  

[[cn...]]

I just took it the wrong way. He was being helpful. =)

 

I too am very med sensitive. I'm only taking a little bit of Remeron 7.5mg. It does help me relax some at night when the anxiety gets to be a bit too much. Helps me sleep a little too.

 

God Bless.

 

as for the hallucinations... I did somewhat have some, I guess you could say when I first took it. I remember the flashing lights when I shut my eyes when I laid down to go to bed. It was like a wierd willy wonka trip. lol. But only when my eyes were shut... then it would transform into crazy textures zooming up at me. But again, only when my eyes were closed in bed.

 

I guess those were hallucinations.

 

And the night I dropped down to 7.5mg I thought I heard my son crying in his crib... he wasnt crying. I kinda got scared for a minute and thought "am i hallucinating?" but it could have been the air ducts in the house or something... or just my imagination.

 

But nothing has happened like that since ive stayed on 7.5mg.

 

Thanks for your input. =)

 

 

[[re...]]

Cnotr

I remember those hallucinations. I had the colors, textures, lights etc after my cold turkey. I had them open eyed or closed.

Also sounds too. It's crazy isn't it?

 

By the way, I am a woman.

 

My work colleagues are psychopharmacologists so I am(now) pretty well educated about psych meds. I also study them and the brain on my own time.

 

 

[[cn...]]

yes they are crazy! lol.

 

do you think i will have a hard problem stopping remeron?

 

ive only been on it for a little over a month.

 

ive been on 7.5mg (from 15mg) for about 5 days.

 

and I planned on quitting the 7.5mg in about 2 more days.

 

I guess thats what the pharmasist said to do. to cut the 15mg in half for a week then just stop.

 

or do i need to wean longer? i heard it kind of has a long half life and kind of weans itself out of you once you get down to the 7.5mg mark. true?

[[re...]]

You should be fine. Just listen to your body.

I know others who have tapered no problem.

 

 

Try not to over think it, ok? Easier said than done in withdrawal I know.

 

I am rooting for you. I want you to be healed, healthy and happy.