dizzyness, weakness, major muscle coordination issues is this wd?

[[Ru...]]

most of all i am concerned with the dizzyness and coordination probs. It feels like my arms and hands arent doing what my brain tells them to. I fumble, misspell, feel like my movemnts are all disjoointed and uncoordinated and i feel tlotally brain damaged. Also feel sometimes like i could just pass out. Have had bl work done and is normal. This just started about a week ago. Coulld this be wd? Is it permenant neuro damage. Has anyone had this?

[[am...]]

Hi Ruby,

It appears that you aren't tapering the Ativan yet. Is that right?  I'm only asking because I had these CNS symptoms, which were at an all time high last year when I tapered my Ativan too quickly. It was scary, especially the coordination - couldn't put make up on and I was trembling inside and out. The fear of not knowing was making it much more intense.  That being said, I reinstated and all those things decreased significantly. They show up as I lower my dose, but at least we know it is caused by the Ativan and it does go away. Hope that is helpful.

amb

[[Ru...]]

i also feel like my thinking and actions are very slow as if i am frozen and all uncoordiinted. I am evn having trouble understanding and talking like i cant say the right words or studder or say the wrong thing. I feel i am phsiclly losing it. Like i will go unconscious or hae a seisure . Feels like i am dmged as if i had a stroke. What is going on. I am so scared. Could this all be from panic? Is tis wd, so scared.

[[am...]]

Wow Ruby, I can really relate. I remember this terror. I felt the same, like I was going to have a seizure at any moment and kept having visions of myself jerking all over the floor....it fed the fear.  Try not to give the fear wings (although I know it is easier said than done).  I kept reading and reading anything I could find on benzo withdrawal and realized it was all the stupid Ativan - and I even proved it to myself.  I still get scared Ruby, but I had to learn to manage the fear and then the symptoms were a little easier to manage - I found the biggest battle was in my mind- the physical symptoms, difficult to deal with I know, are going to happen as we heal. But we will heal - we have to hold on to that. I'm praying for you Ruby.

amb

[[Ru...]]

feel like none of my moveements are fluid or automatic or norml and even my speech is affected.

[[Ru...]]

hey amb so you can relate to these sx. They are so scarry. And iwas tapering ativan faster but now slower and it is worse. Did or do they go away. Is this normal for wd and it does scare me. How did it feel to you. I just want to cry

[[Ru...]]

did yolu also feel very confused andfuzzy headed with this like you couldnt think strait or mmake sence of anything?

[[13...]]

I had a bad two weeks of dizziness two months ago but its cleared now.  I suffer with tinitis sometimes but feel much better.  I think you will be a lot better towards the end of your taper.

[[am...]]

Hi Ruby,

Yes, I can relate to every one of them!!!! I endured this last year after a 3 week taper from 2 mg of Ativan. At first the symptoms weren't as bad, but I pushed through because I knew there would be some. But by month 3, things started to spin out of control. I went to my doc a few times, the ER a few times, and even a teaching hospital - I asked if it still could be w/d and they all said absolutely not! In fact, the teaching hospital wanted to put me on Klonopin. Thankfully, I listened to my gut and said no way. But I was discouraged and really wanted to die, literally!  I was having (no exaggeration) all the symptoms you mentioned, plus many many more. I was so dizzy and I couldn't even talk because the sound of my own voice was vibrating inside my head - PAIN! So I know the fear, the panic and the dehabilitating and scary symptoms. What happened next was, I told my husband I just wanted to die, nobody could help me, I was so desperate.  Then he said, if you really feel like that, take your Ativan and test your theory, what have you to lose? So I did (by this time I had been off Ativan for four months) and within an hour, almost all of these symptoms decreased so significantly - PROOF that I was in a protracted withdrawal. Then I started reading everything I could get my hands on no matter how scary (I figured there was nothing more scary then what I already experienced. So the books and the stuff I read here on BB only valildated what I was feeling. And finally, I felt hope. And Finally, I was able to prove to my doctor that my theory was right. So that was about November of last year. I reinstated, stabilized and was able to return to work the next day. In Feb of this year, I began my taper. I'm down to .46 mg of ativan per day and it's getting a little rough now, but I don't hesitate to hold if I need to. Once I held a dose for six weeks. What is your taper scheudle?  Yes, it is all part of w/d and it does go away. Eery day won't be like this. Let's see if we can compare notes.

amb

[[jm...]]

My first month of withdrawal was horrible dizziness. I thought it would never go away. It does come back from time to time now, but it's not nearly as bad as what it used to be. I also have had some hand-eye coordination issues for awhile after my taper. I was especially having problems typing on the keyboard for awhile since I never had to look at the keys while typing. As for the passing out thing. I've also have had that. I would just be taking a shower and it would feel as if I was going to faint. Or even in the store I would get that feeling from time to time. All the blood work came out fine though. I've never had ANY of these problems before taking Ativan.

[[Ru...]]

hey amb are you still having these probs? I am at 2.25mgs ativan down from 7 last july. I taper .125 mgs every 2 wweeks was going faster before. Even a slow tper isnt helping and i am so scared that i am damaged for life feel like i am so confused and disjointed nothing is clear, tinking is all messed up, cant make sence of anything or eveen talk oor move right how can wd do this?

[[am...]]

Hi Ruby,

Really? You have tapered from 7 mg of Ativan. Thats quite a dose. If that is the case, then it doesn't surprise me that you are feeling this way. I really took my time Ruby. At first, I could taper bigger doses, but as I got lower, the symptoms started to surface in a greater intensity.  So remember, I reinstated and was taking my full dose (actually is was 3, but I didn't want to take that much, so within 2 weeks, I was down to 2 mg and tapered from there).  At that dose, I felt almost normal with the exception of tinnitus that is always with me and hyperacusis and some dizziness.  Now I'm down to .46, with water titration. And yes, some of those awful symptoms, brain shocks (yesterday I was at work and I felt like my brain dropped an inch inside my head - followed by a wave of dizziness - kind of scary, but I cut my dose 5 days ago and I knew what it was), involuntary jerking, eye twitching to name a few.  But for me, the key was such a slow taper to minimize these. As I mentioned, I would cut the tiniest amount and have to stay on that for as long as six weeks (and I wouldn't hesitate to hold longer if the symptoms were too bad). So I really believe I suffered terribly in the beginning because I went too fast. That could be what is happening to you and what many people mean when they say listen to your body. If you are going to fast, your brain will object and it will manifest through these symptoms.  Also Ruby, I read a book called Worse Than Heroin.  The author withdrew off of Ativan and the experience was horrific - but one you and I both can identify with. I felt I could have written the book myself. It gave me such validation and hope. Those are survival keys for us. One other thing I found is that I work out pretty hard (even when dizzy) because somehow those endorphins seems to counteract the symptoms.  By the time I am done (I start out feeling crappy, but not even dizzy when I'm done).  I can't think about yesterday or tomorrow, only fight thorugh the day I'm in - that's another tool I use in my thinking.  We can't believe we are going to be like this permanently....don't go there. It leads nowhere. We are going to get through it....I just know we will!

amb

[[Ru...]]

hey amb did you ever feel almost like your movements were involuntary or as if you were litterally going to loose control of all your movenments and they were just gonna do their own thing? like you couldnt make your body do what you wanted it too since you were so uncoordinated? i also find when i feel this way i have panic attacks , my thinking goes crazy and i feel like i am gonna loose it as if my brain is fried and i cant make sence of anything said to me or know whats going on around me and i have trouble talking. i feel like i am just going to pass out or loose control of everything and go catatonic or just die or as you said fall on the floor in a seizure. do you think even though i am slow tapering now that i am still so bad cause my brain is still trying to catch up from the faster taper from 7 to 2.25 mgs since late june? also could some of these sx i am feeling be from panic attacks cause once i calm down or they pass i feel more coordinated again and more fluid and stronger , less dizzy and my heart stops racing, i can hear again and things make more sence around me. coud all these sx be from a panic attack? how long have you been tapering now from the 2 mgs and how slowly are you going. also if these sx are fromm panic or at least worsened by panic is this panic from wd. i have had anxiety and panic in the past but never with these sx and never this bad or long lasting or daily like this. i just dont know what to do cause it seems too the longer i hold i just get worse as if i hit tolerance wd fast. this almost seems to happen more and i have fewer windows as i get lower but also cut slower so i dont know what to do. thanks for your support and talking to me . i really appreciate it

[[Ru...]]

hey amb you there?

[[am...]]

Sorry Ruby,

I didn't get online last night and just saw your post this morning.  This is what I found out. Ativan is really potent. My understanding is that 1 mg of Ativan is like taking 10 mg of Valium. Valium is slower acting and less potent at 1 mg so that is a huge part of the reason Ashton recommends crossing over. I have not c/o because my doctor isn't supportive and I am a little nervous to do it anyway since it is another benzo with its own set of side effects and w/d symptoms, but if I get to the end and start going through hell, I will have to find a way to do that. So you would have started taking the the equivalent of 70 valium pills - so that is a pretty high dose.  You can check with a moderator on this and I recommend that you do that to see what they say about your current tapering schedule.  But one thing I believe is that I think you are right that your brain is reacting from a high dose it was used to.  Ativan isn't like heroin or a drug that once it is out of your system you stop feeling the effects.  For me it takes several days after a cut before I even start feeling it.  And remember when I tapered quickly, my fourth month was the worse so it doesn't surprise me based on my own experience that you are experiencing this coming from that high of dose.  Most people don't recommend updosing or reinstating, but I just had to because I couldn't bear it, plus at the time I didn't have the information I do now. For me it was the right decision because I had to function and a 3 week taper (although supported by doctors is insane).

 

I started tapering in February of this year with 2 mg, so you can see how slow my taper has been.  I have a healthy fear of this poison now, so if I have to stay on it another year, I will do it so I don't have to go through that hell again.  I'm doing all I can to minimize the symptoms but obviously I still have some disturbing ones.

 

I think the panic which I also experienced is what made things so unbearable. Once I educated myself and I knew what was causing it, I was able to keep myself from panicking.  Same with the fear. During those days, in order to get myself out of the fear I drank wine all day long.  I had no benzo in my system, but I later found out that the alcohol actually kept me from healing.  I want to encourage you to read that  book, Worse Than Heroin. It really helped validate what I was feeling and gave me such hope. 

 

Feel free to keep asking quesitons. How are you doing today?

amb

[[mi...]]

feel like none of my moveements are fluid or automatic or norml and even my speech is affected.

 

Ruby hang in there cutie.... it is w/d....  please try not to be scared... I care about you please get better soon.

luv

Mishi