criminal irritability in muscles

[[Ho...]]

dear friends,

 

every single movement is hell.  every single movement that i make is full of irritability, hostility and can change to painful physical depression.  It is so hard to move and when I do the irritability increases to criminal levels and feels so awful.  Is anyone like this?  Is this common for withdrawal? 

 

I can sit but just sitting and the miserable thinking and feeling of this all is so painful.  I got up to wash dishes and the irritability in my hands and just walking made me so hostile and I don't want to be in my body.  I want to be released from this all.

 

 

The cycling of horrific moods and feelings makes me crazy and I just don't know how to make it through this day and trying to believe that this is all going to end. 

 

I just can't stand hearing anybody talk again and yet I am so very lonely and just heartbroken that I cannot enjoy family today.

 

I went to get the mail for my mom-in-law and I saw a personal letter and had to cover it and not look for fear that it would upset me that a relative could write and be so happy about it.  That is so crazy to be this way and I don't know what to do about it anymore.  I am avoiding everyone again and I am so lonely I could really die from it. 

 

I really wonder if I should give up on getting better and if I am just not going to know what normal is anymore.  Please write back and I know my friends have already written to me from yesterday but please write back if anyone can relate to what I am writing and going through.  Hope4us

[[An...]]

Hi Hope4us

 

I can relate to your symptoms inasmuch as I suffered from a bout of clinical depression 8 years ago (there was a trigger)  And I felt exactly as you do depression-wise.  It was a terrible period in my life.  I have not had the muscle irritability though.  I see from your signature you have tapered off anti-depressants in the past but the only thing that helped me then was an A/D.  It was like a miracle and I felt a different person.  If I were in such a depressed state, be it from benzos or otherwise, I would definitely reconsider starting a course - they may take a few weeks to kick in and perhaps your anxiety may be revved up in the beginning but I think they would help in the long run. What does your doctor suggest?

 

Angel