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Ok. This is in respose to something that Tuscon wrote about :losing it" anxiety. You said when you took a rescue dose of benzo you knew it was w/d. i have been having my worst day so far and am obsessing over the is it w/d or is it just me issue, as I often do these days. How did you know for sure...wouldn't a benzo relieve anxiety that was your own baseline as well as lift w/d?  I am following your posts, as we seem to have the same fun with freakouts. Hoping yours subsides for you- Susan
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I went thru that stuff for months.  I can tell you that, who ever you think you might be, it is not the new you.

 

I know exactly how you feel. I was wondering if it was the end of my life as I knew it. It got better!!!

 

You just need to have so much patience.  You will improve. You may even get worse, but you will get better, eventually.

 

Somehow, you need to put your life on hold, and just deal with only this.

 

You will have to find that strength that you know you have somewhere..  You can do it!!!

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I'm normally a bit of a nervous worry wort. I can't wait to get back to my clear thinking worrisome self. I've had some clear days that reassure me that all else is benzo withdrawals. We will all get through this and be back to our version of normal again. I went through the phases of worrying that I'm damaged forever and still have days like that. It's the benzos. And it will pass.
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Godsgrace- I dry cut to .125 then titrated that last chunk crushed into water, a half cup water throwing away a tsp a day. I had reinstated last Sept2010 at .25. I had ben on the stuff for 3 yrs, starting at .50-.75 a day. I tried twice to get off, and got to 3wks and 2 months..reinstated both times. Huge mistake. Each time it hit me a few weeks after I jumped. I should have stayed the course, and now I am almost past  my previous attempt. What makes this time different and the final? The stuff started to really backfire on me- I guess the tolerance w/d thing. Started to feel really fuzzy, low and my anxiety was starting to escalate. Not only was it not working, it seemed to be making things worse. i went from .25 to a 3 month taper, any slower seemed ridiculous from that low dose, but even a low dose can trash you when you w/d. Thats my story. I still have maintained a job, am a grad student, and started a new job the week i jumped. You can't wait for the "right" moment. You just do it, and you continue to live life as well. I won't lie, its doing a number on me lately, and I have walked into a few walls, texted my husband freaking out sometimes, but far far better for me that way than hanging on to a pillow at home waiting for the next wave. I hang on to the mantra of "I don't have to believe everything that I think".

Susan

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