Getting worse ready to c/t

[[rh...]]

It is NOT getting better, I am doing worse and ready to throw in the towel. I have been through hell and back many times and if I c/t this now how could it be any different? As you can tell I am VERY desperate and ready to jump. Couldn't be any worse. I have gone through many w/d's going off drugs, this is not living and doing a taper for over a year and then going through the healing process after is a LONG time.

 

Rhapsodygirl

[[No...]]

I would advice you to hold.

 

I have had MANY very hard bumps, where I did not believe that I could finish my taper.

 

Ashton Manual (Note the last paragraph)

 

14. IS COLD TURKEY (ABRUPT, TOTAL DISCONTINUANCE OF THE DRUG) AN ACCEPTABLE METHOD OF WITHDRAWING FROM A BENZODIAZEPINE?

 

No. There is nearly complete uniformity of opinion both in the medical profession and in the benzodiazepine recovery community that cold turkey is a dangerous and unacceptable method of withdrawal. Cold turkey withdrawal may cause seizures, and is also associated with a higher probability of withdrawal psychosis. Seizures are almost non-existent in those employing a taper method, with the limited exception of people who have taken a benzodiazepine for a seizure disorder. Furthermore, psychosis is rare in those who taper their benzodiazepine slowly.

 

There is a misconception that cold turkey withdrawal, though it may cause more severe symptoms, will bring about a faster remission of symptoms. This is based on the idea that a slow taper "prolongs the agony of withdrawal." This notion is erroneous. In fact, there is some anecdotal evidence that cold turkey withdrawal may lengthen the course of the withdrawal syndrome, and may even cause the Protracted Withdrawal Syndrome.

[[re...]]

If you can hold on I encourage you to do so. I jumped and I landed in hell. The mental/emotional torture was/is  cruel.

It is your decision of course, but please be advised that it CAN get worse.

[[pe...]]

(((hugs))) I think you should try holding for another week.  You don't want to rush it and feel worse.  Hang in there, and I'm sorry you're feeling so miserable.  These meds suck.  I will be thinking of you.

 

~POM

[[rh...]]

If you can hold on I encourage you to do so. I jumped and I landed in hell. The mental/emotional torture was/is  cruel.

It is your decision of course, but please be advised that it CAN get worse.

 

At what point did you jump? I am already in hell.

[[rh...]]

(((hugs))) I think you should try holding for another week.  You don't want to rush it and feel worse.  Hang in there, and I'm sorry you're feeling so miserable.  These meds suck.  I will be thinking of you.

 

~POM

 

Thank you peaceofmind...I'm not rushing it, I've been holding now 11 days and it's getting worse not better. I appreciate your support and thoughts. My replies to everyone are not getting posted. I am responding to each one and they're lost

 

Thank you

Rhapsodygirl

[Guest [Si...]]

R-Girl,

 

I would hold. I would not advise jumping.

 

What are your symptoms?

 

How are you getting worse?

 

Billy.

[[rh...]]

R-Girl,

 

I would hold. I would not advise jumping.

 

What are your symptoms?

 

How are you getting worse?

 

Billy.

 

Hi Billy,

I can't put thoughts together, my head feel like it's going to explode, very heavy, Hissing is VERY loud all the time, constant anxiety, can't shower, very confused, beyond confusion, mental anguish, torment, can't put one foot in front of the other, racing thoughts, depression, no strength at all. Lot's more just can't put words together. Very sensitive to sounds,smells,everything. I feel DEAD.

 

RG

[[re...]]

RG

I jumped at .6  I had up dosed back to it. I dont recommend a C/T.  I know tapers seem slow and arduous, but you will probably not suffer as much when you do step off. Hang in there. I know its hard. Hardest thing I have ever had to do!

 

[[Kl...]]

RG, you have come a long way and been through some huge hurdles. I crossed over to 7.5mg valium so I don't know if you should hold or continue tapering. It does not look like you are tapering too fast so this may be some residual stuff from the X or K.

 

I had a horrible time last spring and I know that I had to take each day one day at a time. I could not look at the past and project the future level of pain. I know God loves us and is walking through this with us.

 

When I did need to sleep I used antihistamines. They are not physically addicting and they will help with sleep, nausea, and anxiety. When I was really hurting I took 50mgs benedryl. About 2 hours later peace hit and I could sleep.

 

I am praying for you RG. Hang in there!

[[No...]]

Rhapsodygirl

 

You just described my exact symptoms except from anxiety, when going through a bad wave (last one lasted 3 weeks)

 

Unable to have a normal stream of though, it races in all directions, feeling like I want to crawl out of my head. Songs repeating themselves in my head. I put blinds infront of the windows as I cannot tolerate daylight.

 

Showers seemed to fatigue my body, and afterwards I was often more tense than relaxed.

 

Every single morning depression like mad. I do not know how to get through the day.

 

But...

 

When I hit that wall, I held my dose, and until now I have gotten better every time, holding maybe 14 days.

 

If I can do it, you can do it...Sometimes the taper seems so long, but remember that some days are better than others, they are just not easy to remember when you have been feeling VERY bad for 3 weeks or so.

 

Do what relaxes you, do what you know is good for your mind even though it might not be working at the moment.

 

I hope that you feel better soon, or at least get just a bit of relief. Remember that we heal as we taper, and if you can do this you might save yourself a great deal of time feeling bad post taper.

 

[[rh...]]

If you can hold on I encourage you to do so. I jumped and I landed in hell. The mental/emotional torture was/is  cruel.

It is your decision of course, but please be advised that it CAN get worse.

 

I see you are free of benzos. How are you now? What hell did you go through?

[Guest [Si...]]

Hi Billy,

I can't put thoughts together, my head feel like it's going to explode, very heavy, Hissing is VERY loud all the time, constant anxiety, can't shower, very confused, beyond confusion, mental anguish, torment, can't put one foot in front of the other, racing thoughts, depression, no strength at all. Lot's more just can't put words together. Very sensitive to sounds,smells,everything. I feel DEAD.

 

RG

 

RG,

 

I get those symptoms as well.

Today has not been good at all.

 

Please taper.. don't jump!

I mean it is your call, but I think you will be okay once this smooths over.

I know Valium too well.. I am afraid  

 

And I have had some very bad days and some good ones.

 

I would advise continuing your taper.

 

 

Billy.

 

Here are some of my symptoms BTW-

Cog Fog

Confusion at times

Anxious, Depressed

Burning, Vibrations, Derealization.

On and on... These vary day to day.

 

Hang in there!

[[rh...]]

Hi Billy,

I can't put thoughts together, my head feel like it's going to explode, very heavy, Hissing is VERY loud all the time, constant anxiety, can't shower, very confused, beyond confusion, mental anguish, torment, can't put one foot in front of the other, racing thoughts, depression, no strength at all. Lot's more just can't put words together. Very sensitive to sounds,smells,everything. I feel DEAD.

 

RG

 

RG,

 

I get those symptoms as well.

Today has not been good at all.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Please taper.. don't jump!

I mean it is your call, but I think you will be okay once this smooths over.

I know Valium too well.. I am afraid  

 

And I have had some very bad days and some good ones.

 

I would advise continuing your taper.

 

 

Billy.

 

Here are some of my symptoms BTW-

Cog Fog

Confusion at times

Anxious, Depressed

Burning, Vibrations, Derealization.

On and on... These vary day to day.

 

Hang in there!

 

I am so sorry you are going through this. Nobody should. I know I am not alone as we are all suffering, but I just can't continue going through this agony. I have gone through it MANY times throughout my life. I'm sick of it. I know you are too, but you are young and you are able to continue. I don't have the strength anymore :'( I would be happy to get a minute of relief, even 30 seconds right now. It ain't happening and I wake up and it's hell on earth again!

 

Thank you,

RG

 

My prayers are with you and the rest of BB.

[[ja...]]

RG..

 

So sorry I know your hurting ..This is the untimate horror.Painful and relentless I know.

What I am afraid of is that if you jump? Then the New Horror the New hell you will be in is

Behond expression. C/T is no joke and all the sxs you have now may elevate to a all new High..

Its to much shock to the brain , I would hate to see you suffer even worse then now. I am so sorry you are hurting so badly . I did a C./T it was like 50 sxs for 3 months no let up.Then 20 for 7 more months then 7 for 5 more months, I am healed now it does happen it really does. But to get through it is Extreme..

 

I hope you get some relief soon!!! Hang in there RG ok

 

~Jenny

[Guest [Si...]]

I am so sorry you are going through this. Nobody should. I know I am not alone as we are all suffering, but I just can't continue going through this agony. I have gone through it MANY times throughout my life. I'm sick of it. I know you are too, but you are young and you are able to continue. I don't have the strength anymore  I would be happy to get a minute of relief, even 30 seconds right now. It ain't happening and I wake up and it's hell on earth again!

 

Thank you,

RG

 

My prayers are with you and the rest of BB.

 

RG,

 

Hang in there. You will make it.

 

The valium will do that.

It will smooth out, give it some time.

 

We are here for you.

 

Billy.

[[sw...]]

Hey, what's the hurry to jump?  I see a lot of people hit withdrawal and have a knee jerk reaction to speed up the process as quickly as possible once they properly realize how sick the medicine has been making them.  The thing to remember is that it's not the *taking* the medicine that is making you sick, it's the *not* taking the medicine that is making you feel bad.

 

[[Kl...]]

Dear RG,

 

Would it help to get some hugs from a safe, loving person? 

 

Do you have someone you trust who can come over and spend some time with you?

 

Do you have someone you can call?

 

When I have been in the most extreme of taper hells, I have had to reach out for someone tangible, soft, understanding.

 

I wish that I could do that for you - right now. 

 

You can do this RG.  I think you just need some additional support - a soft landing.  Someone to hold your pain for you while you rest.

 

(((((((((((RG))))))))))))), With love, Laurie

[[rh...]]

RG..

 

So sorry I know your hurting ..This is the untimate horror.Painful and relentless I know.

What I am afraid of is that if you jump? Then the New Horror the New hell you will be in is

Behond expression. C/T is no joke and all the sxs you have now may elevate to a all new High..

Its to much shock to the brain , I would hate to see you suffer even worse then now. I am so sorry you are hurting so badly . I did a C./T it was like 50 sxs for 3 months no let up.Then 20 for 7 more months then 7 for 5 more months, I am healed now it does happen it really does. But to get through it is Extreme..

 

I hope you get some relief soon!!! Hang in there RG ok

 

~Jenny

I replied to you Jenny and it didn't work,again

Laurie..my husband will be home tonight, he doesn't deserve this. He needs a wife who can take care of him, I can't do that :'( I love him SO much, but he doesn't deserve this.

I will call my daughter or a friend. I am in a puddle of tears :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'(

 

Sweet...I don't understand that it's not taking the medicine that is making me sick. I was better off before, way better. I'm sorry to be so negative.

Billy... how much time? I know u don't know...It is getting worse as I hold at 24mg. I'll hang in and hold on.

 

I love you all very much

[Guest [Si...]]

Billy... how much time? I know u don't know...It is getting worse as I hold at 24mg. I'll hang in and hold on.

 

It's hard to know RG,

But sometimes after I made a cut I felt better.

 

 

[[su...]]

Hello RG,

 

I am so sorry you are feeling like this. I have been there. Hey, I found that calling our local Crisis Center to be helpful. They may not understand Benzos yet, they will understand not feeling well and needing to get through the day or the next hour. I call when I need someone to talk to that will not tell me their problems. The crisis center is trained to be good listeners. It is a great way to not feel so alone.

 

We are here for you.

 

Sending you my love,

Summer

[[rh...]]

Hello RG,

 

I am so sorry you are feeling like this. I have been there. Hey, I found that calling our local Crisis Center to be helpful. They may not understand Benzos yet, they will understand not feeling well and needing to get through the day or the next hour. I call when I need someone to talk to that will not tell me their problems. The crisis center is trained to be good listeners. It is a great way to not feel so alone.

 

We are here for you.

 

Sending you my love,

Summer

 

Hi Summer,

When I call the Crisis Center what do I say to them? I'm so sorry you have been where I'm at. It is comforting to know I'm not alone. A close friend from church just called so that helped to talk with her. She did most of the talking since I am so weak right now.

 

The sun is shining outside and I can't go out and enjoy it. It's so bizarre. I have a beautiful garden that I love and I can't go out and sit and weed it, which normally which was just a few weeks ago, I could weed for hours listening to worship music. Now I am so messed up that going out to the mailbox freaks me out

 

It has to get better. I will wait.

 

Thank you for your kindness and support.

 

Rhapsodygirl

[[su...]]

Hello RG,

 

Well, when I call the crisis center they tell me their name and I tell them mine. Then I say I am having a bad day and need to talk. If I tell them I am tapering sometimes they say they are not trained in that. Sometimes when I say it is from tapering they do understand. If they do not understand then I just tell them how I am feeling and am having trouble getting through the day.

 

If I get someone who is not understanding or kind (which has happened only a few times), I hang up and call back. Usually someone else answers the phone.

 

I have found them to be compassionate, understanding, and may have some suggestions on how to get through the next hour or so. I have also learned some great tips.

 

It is worth a try. In Seattle they usually talk for about 20 minutes. If you need more time and they have it they will talk longer or you can call back and get someone else.

 

I have their number handy and sometimes I have called up to 3 times in one day.

 

Sending my Love to you,

Summer

 

 

[[rh...]]

Hello RG,

 

Well, when I call the crisis center they tell me their name and I tell them mine. Then I say I am having a bad day and need to talk. If I tell them I am tapering sometimes they say they are not trained in that. Sometimes when I say it is from tapering they do understand. If they do not understand then I just tell them how I am feeling and am having trouble getting through the day.

 

If I get someone who is not understanding or kind (which has happened only a few times), I hang up and call back. Usually someone else answers the phone.

 

I have found them to be compassionate, understanding, and may have some suggestions on how to get through the next hour or so. I have also learned some great tips.

 

It is worth a try. In Seattle they usually talk for about 20 minutes. If you need more time and they have it they will talk longer or you can call back and get someone else.

 

I have their number handy and sometimes I have called up to 3 times in one day.

 

Sending my Love to you,

Summer

 

 

 

Thank you Summer, I live near Seattle so I will give it a try. All my love   Rhapsodygirl

Thank you Summer...I live near Seattle, I'll give it a try. All my love

Thank you so much Summer. I live near Seattle so maybe I can talk or they can talk longer All my love

[[su...]]

Hello Rg,

 

Well, then when you look for the number it is called the King County Crisis Center. I guess I can give you the number here. If it is a problem a Moderator can edit this post.

 

The # to the King County Crisis Center is: 1-866-427-4747

 

Love to you,

Summer