week six

[[no...]]

Difficulty set in this weekend.  I thought it was hard before, but Sat. afternoon this weird dread overtook me and has stayed pretty steady, along with intense fear and depression.  I really had to force my way to commute to work today and now am just feeling so freaked out and like I want to run home, only I know that being home alone is the LAST thing I need. Trying to stay the course, and need for the millionth time to hear that it will get better, and is not unusual for it to get way worse at this point.

thanks- Susan

just been such a long haul- months of tolerance w/d, months of taper, now 6 wks free, but feel anything but free

[[re...]]

Hang in there. It gets better, slowly but surely. I promise. I had days on end of sheer mind blowing terror. Not panic. Terror. It passed. But what a ride! How can we help?  Let us know.  Sorry you are in the thick of it. It will pass.

[[Sc...]]

Ii DOES get better.  Between weeks 6-10, I had some major ups and downs.  The waves were bad and scared me quite a bit.  But I know they weren't as severe as when I tapered.  Nonetheless it felt horrible and made me feel doubtful I would ever get better.  But this past week things have turned around a bit.  I feel less anxiety and although the physical s/x are still there quite often, the mental s/x are subsiding a bit for now.

 

I can also see some big changes in certain areas.  Good changes.  I wake up alert each day and I find I can deal with stress a bit better.

 

Just remember that with healing from Benzos, there is no "normal".  We heal differently and at different rates.  It can be a roller coaster for a quite awhile, but just hold on to the fact you WILL heal.  It may not happen as quickly as you want, but it will come.

 

All the best to you,

Schatje

[[no...]]

thanks. so much.

To be at work and then have class, 50 mile commute each way, a 12 hour day.  The first few weeks I was making it, but today I just felt so depressed at the same time as the intense fear. For the first time it felt scary and difficult to just be around people I usually enjoy- what is that?! Every time I went from one activity to another there was this intense "I can't cope" feeling.  Just felt on the edge of losing it.  And here it is several hours later, and though I do not feel better, i have endured those hours. Hope I can just hang in there and keep pretending to be together here at work and class. But when I am home, I am even worse if thats possible- all fearful for know reason and like everything is ...how do I express it? Unfamiliar and odd.

Minute by minute...am hanging on to your wisdom that it will get better. thanks-Susan

[Guest [Tu...]]

I admire you for being strong enough to work and go to school! I am five weeks out as of today and, if anything, each week seems to be more difficult, but each week also seems to be different. Yesterday was kind of an OK day, but today the craziness has come back with a vengeance. I just lay on the couch and dumbly stare at the TV, waiting for all this to pass..

 

It does pass. I've read too many comments over the past few months to know that it will always be like this. I just need to have faith. I hope you can find it in you to keep moving ahead! You are doing great!

 

Don't let this monster beat you! I'm behind you 100 percent.

 

Tucson

 

Me on Day 36 of my final c/t: 

[[no...]]

Tuscon- it will not beat either of us.  Its rough and sucks, but NOTHING in life stays the same and this won't either. it helps sooo much to have this site and people like yourself to turn to in the middle of a bad episode- of craziness like you called it. I def felt crazy today...but its hours later and I made it, and am finally home.  Guess I will do it all again tomorrow, it was so much fun. See you in the land of the FREE-Susan