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Depressed 2night, crying, feel LOST... Need some encouragement please!


[cn...]

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I thought things were going so smooth! And they really are... but tonight I started "researching" Remeron W/D, and read a bunch of HORROR stories!!!

I've only been on it for about 4 weeks or so to help cover up Ativan w/d! And so far it's been very managable... but tonight I just started crying after reading those Horror stories...

 

AND I JUST FEEL STUCK!!!

 

I know I should be HAPPY to be benzo FREE in just 2 days after tonight! But now all I'm thinking about is Remeron w/d.... and am already thinking about the possibility of the ativan w/d side effects to start re-emerging after quiting remeron in 5 months... and possible remeron w/d and insomnia etc. etc.

 

Part of me just feels guilty, and I feel like I'm freaking my brain up so much more...

 

But maybe 5 months on Remeron isnt that long? The stories I read were BAD, but most of these people were on it for like 2-7 years.

 

PLEASE, I just need a little encouragement...

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I've withdrawn from antidepressants. The latest was Paxil a few years ago. Piece of cake compared to Benzos. You'll be ok. I quit Paxil c/t too and after a week I had some anxiety and took a rescue dose. After that no more and I was fine. My humble opinion is take as low a dose of the a/d as you can for the duration and you'll come off of it pretty easy. I'm no expert. Just my experience with SSRI's and Imipramine years before that.
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God Bless you StevieD.

 

I'm only on 15mg which I believe is the smallest dose. I think it comes in 45mg, 30mg and then 15mg.

 

Do you think I'm going to eventually feel my old self again?

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I can offer a few thoughts:

 

1) I took Remeron early in my withdrawal and once I came off I realized it was making my benzo-related symptoms WORSE.

 

2) I had no withdrawal from Remeron at all, while benzos have just about ruined me. 

 

3) A few months on a low dose is not a huge deal.  Taper off and you'll be fine.

 

Ryan

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I'm sure of it. But I understand your apprehension. I'm battling a rough wave now that's been kicking my tail for over a week. Part of the psychological game the beast plays is making me wonder if I'll recover from this. Absolutely even if I have to tell myself four times a minute. We're all going to be back to our old selves again whatever that is. I can't wait to get back to my normal somewhat nervous and worrisome self. It was a beautiful state of mind compared to this nightmare. My normal little aches and pains aren't stink compared to the physical symptoms I'm having now. I welcome them back. We're all going to get back to our own version of normal. Have no doubt about it.

 

:pokey: the beast.

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We will all be our normal selves again for sure!  I am already getting my old aches back and I am happy about it!  I wont ever complain again about my backaches!  I will take that any day over w/d pain!
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Yes, I told my wife tonight "I just want my old anxious self back". lol. I just HATE taking pills man... even taking this remeron before bed, even though its very temporary... I CAN'T WAIT TO BE TAKING NOTHING!

 

 

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Hi Cnotr,

 

Possibly when you went on the internet the "worst case scenarios" came up for Remeron. Remember--you are on a low dose and not for very long and many people report they have not had many difficulties coming off of it...and you're benzo-free! :clap::balloon:

 

I like the attitude everyone has here about wanting to get back to their real selves with their normal (and natural) anxious feelings and aches and pains.

 

Sometimes it seems like many things will be a piece of cake to deal with since we've already been dealing with the benzo beast.

 

 

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You all are just amazing and awesome encouragers! One thing I learned a long time ago was to use Google kindly. In my field of work, Most people take more time to complain VS to tell their positive experiences... I think its no different with anti depressant w/d too. Anytime I choose to research Remeron w/d I should expect more horror stories VS success stories to pop up. God Bless you ALL! :)im I will succeed!  And so will everyone else!! :)
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You're not crazy, and I certainly had enough problems at the end of my tapering to swallow up most of the encouragement I might have felt from finally getting off this crap.  But, at the same time, know that it's the benzos messing with your head.  You've got real problems and then you've got these withdrawal making things seem even worse.  Even if you are stuck with a distorted view of things, just knowing that it's distorted can really help cope.

 

You hit the nail right on the head, though, you're about to be off!  That's awesome and a job well done!  Hang in there with these withdrawals.  After this last step, you'll never have to taper off benzos, again.  Anything you're reading about that other medicine probably does not apply to people who have only been on it for a month.  And frankly, even if you have some problems with it, if you have gotten off benzos then you are up to dealing with anything!

 

I think you're doing a great job.  Just hang in there!

 

:)

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Sweet G. Thank you SO much for your response! You are right, if I can take on benzo w/d, then Remeron should be a piece of cake.

 

I'm just worried, b/c I keep doing this "what if" thinking... which is bad.

 

I think.. "what if, i come off the remeron in 5 months, and am an anxious nervous mess?"  or "what if I can't sleep at all?" or "what if the benzo w/d symptoms resurface b/c Remeron was supposed to surpress those bad w/d symptoms."

 

Those are the distorted thoughts I have going on right now. But Ive relaxed a bunch more this evening and am doing fine.

 

Really the only w/d symptoms I've had from ativan so far, is muscle twitching, strange tingles/prickly feeling in hands (mostly left), some joint pain in fingers (this could be from Remeron), and also some lightheadedness, heavy eye brows, and even some sensitivity to light. But I havent had one bout of anxiety! Which is amazing! Nor have I had any d/p or d/r. So that is good! I seem to be doing well my psychiatrist said today, so I'm gonna keep on keepin on!

 

I'm jumping off of .25mg in 2 days and I'm BENZO FREE BABY!!! YAY! =)

 

Thanks again everyone for your support. Hope you all are healing well as well.

 

Oh boy, my neck muscles are twitching like crazy right now. LOL. Gonna take a hot shower on that note and hop into bed. =) GOD BLESS.

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While my w/d is benzo and not AD, I can tell you this much -- this morning I was ready to die, and now I feel 100 percent normal psychologically.  There is hope.
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Yup!  Strange how the brain works isn't it?  I can have five greet days and then wham the thoughts can be there.  I have taught myself how to deal with those yet the physical is a bit harder for me to tolerate at this point.  I am a mover and don't like to be trapped in my body.  I guess that makes it harder on the physical side of things?  But every day I turn a new milestone!  Every day is only making us better!  I enjoy life more now than ever!  I hope everyone here feels that way now or soon!
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Sweet G. Thank you SO much for your response! You are right, if I can take on benzo w/d, then Remeron should be a piece of cake.

 

I'm just worried, b/c I keep doing this "what if" thinking... which is bad.

 

I think.. "what if, i come off the remeron in 5 months, and am an anxious nervous mess?"  or "what if I can't sleep at all?" or "what if the benzo w/d symptoms resurface b/c Remeron was supposed to surpress those bad w/d symptoms."

 

Those are the distorted thoughts I have going on right now. But Ive relaxed a bunch more this evening and am doing fine.

 

Really the only w/d symptoms I've had from ativan so far, is muscle twitching, strange tingles/prickly feeling in hands (mostly left), some joint pain in fingers (this could be from Remeron), and also some lightheadedness, heavy eye brows, and even some sensitivity to light. But I havent had one bout of anxiety! Which is amazing! Nor have I had any d/p or d/r. So that is good! I seem to be doing well my psychiatrist said today, so I'm gonna keep on keepin on!

 

I'm jumping off of .25mg in 2 days and I'm BENZO FREE BABY!!! YAY! =)

 

Thanks again everyone for your support. Hope you all are healing well as well.

 

Oh boy, my neck muscles are twitching like crazy right now. LOL. Gonna take a hot shower on that note and hop into bed. =) GOD BLESS.

 

Btw, the answer to all of these "what if?" question is that you will deal with it *if* it becomes necessary.  It usually doesn't, but if it does you can pretty much handle most things after this.

 

;)

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sweet g, you've been so kind.

 

Do you think the worse is about over? I mean REALLY HONESTLY... This whole taper has been easy... considering how FAST I've been tapering. .25mg per week!!!

But after lastnight, it has kind of got me concerned!

 

Is the worse to come after my last dose?? Or do you think I'm going to be okay? And just hit a few rough patches maybe down the road?

 

Does it get harder the longer you are completely off? Or easier the longer you are off? And how does that reflect on how well you've done on your taper?

 

Since my taper has been relatively easy, do you think thats a good sign that it won't be too bad after my last dose?

 

Thanks again! I'm in a bit of an anxiety mode tonight if you can't tell.

 

GOD BLESS!

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You can't predict how it will be when you're off but if you're just now having some problems you will likely be okay. It might feel like a big cut to you. I remember when I tapered the Klonopin I had random crying spells and would have a few other symptoms but it was manageable. This will do that to you. It turns you into this super sensitive mess. I don't think the A/D will be anything like the benzo. You are in a commanding position cnotr. Just don't do anything stupid like drink alcohol when you're done and you should be fine. We are all here for you and you'll be back to yourself in no time.
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Speaking of alcohol ( I don't drink either by the way ). What happens if you drink alcohol after your taper?  Does it act like a benzo?  Just wondering .
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