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Paranoia is soo bad


[Ho...]

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What do I do?

 

The paranoia is getting so bad, I even had a friend comment on it yesterday. I am feeling like people are all staring at me, talking about me, etc. Or if they're close friends then I think they are mad at me or assuming something bad about me. It's so horrible! I just want to crawl under the covers and never leave. :(

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PS - this is also doing nothing helpful for my fear of going insane, since my dad (who I'm afraid of becoming like) is naturally paranoid all the time.
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Some stupid people with a low intellect, mistake bashfulness for "weirdness". If you act confident. and believe what you have to say is not weird, then no one will ever act as though your a awkward creep.

 

Thing is, in a alot of peoples minds, they believe people think there weird creeps, when in all reality those people don't think that at all.

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I was not expecting the paranoia to be so bad. It seems my fight or flight overreactions are not decreasing any time soon. :(
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This is also one of my WORST sx's to date lately.  This symptom makes it hard not to isolate myself from other people.  It's annoying and bizarre. Everywhere i go i get these strange thoughts that people are watching me, and possibly thinking mean things about me.  I feel like everybody is looking at me where ever i go. This can be a tough one to deal with...
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Holly , you have to ignore those feelings, theyre not real. You are YOU, and not your father, dont worry, youll be ok after awhile. I think about what you said :Blessed are the seeds waiting in the darkness for the call of spring

You are that seed and spring is coming ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;)

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This is something I've been dealing with off and on, as well.  A number of months ago, I changed my username on this forum, because I became convinced that a family member had found my username on here (it was very similar to my email address) and was reading my posts.  This was all in my head, but I became SO convinced of it, that I did go through the process of changing it.  Thankfully, I do not have this level of suspicion and the accompanying anger all of the time, or I'd go nuts.
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Hi Holly... yes its awful... just know... its the drug effect, my hubby has the same, I did also... Just try to remember its from the drug.. You will be fine in time.  Try to tell yourself, as hard as it is, its the effect from the drug, everyone on this site has experienced the same, I will be fine in time.  My prayers are with you... Pattylu
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Holly, benzos cause the worst paranoia. If you did not have that trait before, you will not have it after your brain heals. As for me, I've always had a since of paranoia because I naturally have OCD so benzo wd is loads of for me. You will be just fine.

 

I have a friend who was in tolerance and Ct .5 mg of k over 2 years ago. She literally had every symptom imaginable. She is healed and said life is fantastic now. Yours is around the corner.

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Godgrace,

I've always had some paranoia accompanying my social anxiety ("I know they're laughing at me" etc). But I consider that normal compared to this. It needs to heal really, really soon. Thank you for the reply

 

Holly

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Hi Holly,

 

I suffered from social anxiety before benzos.  It was like moderate social anxiety with some suspiciousness of other people and their motives.  Now in withdrawal I am bordering on paranoid like never before.  I get overwhelmed when walking down the street of any major city--the more people the worse it is.  I don't feel as bad in the suburbs or less populated areas.  I feel hyper self-conscious in a way that's hard to explain.  It's like nothing I ever experienced before. 

 

There's also an extra added element in that I fear other people can "see" how "sick" I am, like they know I'm a recovering drug addict or something.  I guess I just feel so lousy from this endurance contest of benzo withdrawal and all the insomnia, exhaustion, etc. that it seems like other people have to know something is wrong with me.  The truth of the matter is that it DOES show on my face how completely and utterly exhausted I am, the dark circles, sallow skin, brittle and broken hair, etc.  My biggest fear is running into people I know because they know how I used to look, so I don't want anyone to see the toll benzo w/d has taken on me.  I ran into an old co-worker recently and afterward all I could do was worry over what she must have been thinking--something like "What the hell happened to her?"  Seems like no matter what I do to improve my appearance (vitamins, supplements, skin/hair products, etc.) it doesn't help--I still look like I've aged 10-15 years from all this.  The worst part is that I know this probably won't improve until the insomnia lets up a bit, whenever that is.

 

Mal

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