one month but don't feel free

[[no...]]

So now its a month. I have had fear as my maf jor w.d symptom as well as during taper. But now an increase in intensity, as well as my brain just not functioning. I simply cannot think straight, which is really hard at work! I am dizzy and wavy as if I was drunk, and sooo scared.

I just need some perspective today on what to expect, and that this isn't just me now9 and forever). How do I know it will go away? my husband says it should be improving. Its not. I work in a gallery and climb ladders as part of the job- oh the fun that is 12 feet in the air. I never was really scared before but now am so scared in such a general way..anybody recover from that?

Thanks- just needing some support.- Susan

[[Sc...]]

Hi there,

 

I took my last dose on July 19, so I'm 2+ months off.  We are both still very early in the healing process.  Remember that most say it takes 6-18 months to fully heal, and 24 months for some.  I don't think it means things will be rough for that long, but we will get little reminders that things are complete. 

 

I still get many s/x at 2 months off and actually feel a bit more rough and find myself in a wave this past week or two...BUT, on a positive note I am able to recover from the waves quicker.  I think you just have to hold on to the fact that you WILL get better.  I met a woman a few weeks ago at a neighbour's bbq, and she had been on a cocktail of meds years ago for anxiety/depression...she is fully healed.  It took her 2 years (but she was on MANY things), but she said life is brighter and better since being off.  She said the first year was a roller coaster for her, but that she did seem improvements...but after that first year she began to see MAJOR improvements. 

 

It's very normal for us to see little to no improvements only a month (or two or three) off, but it will come.  It just takes a lot of patience.  I have a hard time w/ it too and get extremely frustrated, but deep down I know amazing times are to come.

 

All the best to you and I hope you get some relief VERY soon.

Schatje

[[no...]]

Schatje- Hi. Thanks so much for replying. I have had such a difficult time keeping things straight at work, always forgetting things in a major way. And once here am so scared, like I am far from home and afraid. Its so weird, and then I start this snowball rolling of fear after fear til I think I have to do the flight part or fight or flight. I stand my ground and stay, but am feeling like is this me or w/d today...and how do I keep it together. Its good to be able to come here and get a soothing reply.

Best to you- Susan

[[Fl...]]

Your husband doesn't understand what these drugs can do to our brain chemistry. You will get better but it might take some time. One month is a good start but when it comes to healing it's not very long at all. I was a mess until about 4 months off when I started to see some improvements. By 5 months off I turned a big corner, and now at 9 months off I am doing much, much better.

 

Be careful on those ladders. I didn't have much dizziness or vertigo but with the head sensations and such I don't think I would have been able to climb ladders when I was in acute WD.

[[no...]]

thanks BBS. Hanging in there. Just completing another day at work. I always think there's no way to stand it and I will run crazy out into the parking lot- but....i never do.

Susan

[[Li...]]

Hello Northofhere, been there done that!

 

It is amazing how the brain heals itself. I am approaching my 4th month free of benzo's and when I look over some of the emails, postings, documents that I wrote during early withdrawal all I can say is "I cannot believe I wrote that - what was I thinking"!

 

Give it time, healing happens!

 

Take care,

 

Lida

[[da...]]

I'm one month off also and keep wondering when I'll feel some relief.  The tinnitus is as bad as ever...if not worse.  I have not had a window for months and was in tolerance w/d when I jumped so the symptoms are the same for me.

 

[[Sa...]]

Hello Northofhere

 

Like Lidaboo said, healing does happen. I'm soon to be 4 months off and although i still have a ways to go, i have made improvements, and have had many days of relief where my symptoms seemed almost nonexistent. Your first month will not feel the same as your third month, and your third month will not feel the same as your sixth month.

 

I hope for you the best.

Sam

[[Un...]]

Oh guys, don't expect to be healed so quick.  Why? Because I was EXACTLY like your husband when I battled my first month.  I thought I was on my way to greener pastures after 4 weeks.   Then it all bounced back in my face.  I took my last dose on July 24th.  The first week I was feeling ok.  Very derealized but otherwise I was doing well.  Week two the flaming gates to hell opened up and took me in.  I was out for most the week as I experienced things I don't even want to list because they were so extreme and horrid to me.  The headaches/head pressure kicked in that week as well.  The headaches and head pressure stuck with me until last week when they finally eased up.  I still get headaches during the day, but the constant pressure seems to have made its way out of my head.  By month two I was getting windows and feel like myself at times except for headaches.  As a matter of fact, just today I was walking down some stairs at work and realized I was me again and it felt great.  All that ended at 4:30pm on my way out as anxiety attacked me again and stayed with me up until now.  I had adrenaline pumping through my body all evening.  I just went for a brisk walk with the dog and it seems to have calmed that.  Still out of it, but better.  Long story short, don't expect a quick fix.  Be ready that you will bounce back to feeling crappy at any given day.  It really sucks, but this is how this goes.  Non-linear healing they kept telling me.  I didn't believe it at first.  Now that I have experienced the waves many times, I realize it really is like that.  You can do it though.  We are here for you and we are fighting this beast as well.  Hang in there!

[[...]]

keep  holding on.  u r healing.  don't give up hope.  i know how scary it is and it really sucks that it takes so long but u r doing great.

[[no...]]

thank you all so very much. Here it is another day at work and I cannot believe once again how dizzy I am. I am not expecting quick relief, and it is hard to cope and still have a life but am trudging on. Just keep having these huge fear waves that seem almost chemical in nature. ERGH