When did anyone have their first "window"?

[Guest [Tu...]]

I had a pretty rough time of it from last Thursday through Sunday. Yesterday started off bad but about noon I had to go to the credit union and then the grocery store, so I had to push through the anxiety. For some reason, doing those errands made me feel good and as the afternoon wore on I felt a sense of peace and being in the here-and-now. The anxiety subsided and I actually felt good for about 4-5 hours! There was no tinnitus, no d/p, no d/r. I felt as if I'd truly crossed a hurdle and had a "window" experience. Unfortunately, this morning the anxiety has returned and taking my morning walk was a challenge, but one I made it through.

 

My question is if it is too early for what I experienced yesterday (on Day 20 of a "reinstated c/t") to be a "window?" When have most people experienced their first window? Is Day 20 too soon? Even if it is too early, I wish I could feel like I did yesterday afternoon more often! It was really good!

 

Those of you who have experienced windows, when did it first happen for you?

 

Thanks for any response.

 

Tucson

 

Me on Day 21 of a "reinstated c/t":  

[[Jo...]]

my very first window lasted less than a day. I had them on and off after that, with an increase in the time they lasted. The very first was also at an early stage, probably during my first stabilization. It felt good, I kept thinking about it and was paying real close attention to how I felt, which I kind of regret. Once I got in the habit of distracting myself to not pay such close attention, I noticed that I had more windows and the feelings of content would last longer.

Towards the end of my taper, I felt windows hard. I'd see them as my mind and body getting back to normal.

You totally had a window experience.. I'd take it and look forward to others that will happen more often. Distraction is a key element based on my experience.

Keep up the good work and keep your goal in mind. You're going to really like the rewards for putting in your time.

 

jon

[[pa...]]

I've often wondered about the "window" thing too.  Do they come after one is totally off, or do they start when one is tapering?  I'm still tapering, and I do experience good days vs bad days, but so far no days that are totally symptom free.  Is a window, even if it is a day, something where you are totally WD symptom free?

[[Ni...]]

I agree with patches, I'm tapering, but I experience times when I'm not feeling symptoms and actually feel pretty good. I think the more these drugs leave our system, the better we can feel over all, though sometimes it's kind of in fits and starts.

[Guest [Tu...]]

I'm hoping Jon F. is right and what I experienced WAS a window. Hopefully some folks who have been off benzos for a while can comment, based on their own experiences.

 

I'm hoping it was a window. Whether it was or wasn't, I'm still hanging on and just pushing ahead in this haze.

 

Tucson

 

Me on Day 21 of a "reinstated c/t": 

[[sh...]]

It sounds like you had a nice window, Tuscondeadhead. Windows are glimpses of how we should feel once we're fully healed, and I've experienced that more than once while tapering. I'm fresh in my recovery, so I can't comment for others who've been off longer than me though, I'm sure they'll come in and give you their opinions. Keep up the good work. You're gonna make it 

[[WT...]]

Just as the intensity of waves can vary, it is likewise for windows as well.  I have felt windows on a range from minor relief of symptoms, to completely 100 percent normal, and even to indescribable euphoria that blows away anything I've ever felt before.  My first window was around my first or 2nd day off.

[[re...]]

Tucson

Glad you got a taste of the good things to come!

My windows started a few weeks off. I was never 100% sx free, but I felt "decent" enough to be grateful for the break in the horrible stuff.

 

I now get them for hours at at time. Still never 100% but I appreciate them all the same.

 

You will start getting more and more and for longer periods of time.

 

The anxiety is best dealt with by moving your body. Whether that is shaking, dancing, walking, running... just MOVE. It helps so much! When I just sit still, my anxiety gets worse as I am so focused on it.

 

You ARE healing!! You will be feeling great again one day.

[[Fl...]]

I didn't get any windows until I was a couple of months off and in acute WD. The good always corresponds with the bad. No waves = no windows. This has been true since the early days and still holds true today at 9 months off. I feel a lot better overall but I have only had one or two windows and waves in the past few months.

[Guest [Tu...]]

Thanks to everyone for your feedback.

 

FloridaGuy, I remember you from when I started this latest effort to get off benzos back in April and May. I screwed up and let rescue doses lead me back to reinstatement for 2 months, 3 weeks. Otherwise, I'd be coming up on six months next week, instead of starting all over on September 7. Oh, well, live and learn. This time I have no benzos available for "rescue doses," so it's "do or die trying..." I'm glad to hear you are doing well! It gives ME hope.

 

Tucson

 

Me on Day 21 of a "reinstated c/t": 

[[Fl...]]

I screwed up and let rescue doses lead me back to reinstatement for 2 months, 3 weeks. Otherwise, I'd be coming up on six months next week, instead of starting all over on September 7.

 

Well, you're already a few weeks off and that's a good start. Stick it out this time, it is soooo worth it.