For those who are healed

[[WT...]]

I almost feel as though I'm pestering the healed because I keep calling on them, but they are my main source of inspiration.  For those who are healed -- was there ever a time when you felt pretty good before you were fully healed, but you have triggers that briefly sent your mind back into how it felt in acute withdrawal?  What I mean is.. you don't go back into it, but everything has that look and feel to it of horror, and things being twisted; even if briefly. 

 

I'm not healed, but I'm doing better -- my main symptom, besides fear, is now what I described above.  It's as though it's not wanting to let go.  They are basically flashbacks of exactly what it was like (this happens when sunlight is a certain color or clouds a certain way, and I keep feeling it's always going to be this way.  Please tell me that these go away.. please....

[[Pa...]]

When I healed, when I finally said those words, there wasn't anything that sent me back into it.  Sure, I had nights where I didn't sleep very well, or times when my nerves were a little on edge, but once I knew I was there, that was it.  If you're still feeling these sensations, then you're not there yet, but when you are, they'll be gone. 

 

I don't have PTSD, I don't have flashbacks, I don't live in fear that something will trigger it again, it's over and done with.  The only thing I still have is gratitude to be well, to feel joy, to be able to laugh, love and cry. 

[[Lo...]]

Say you have an underlying disorder (panic) ... I'm assuming panic attacks and those sx will return off benzos because that is how you were prior to even taking them??

[[WT...]]

I understand.. I'm still pretty far from being healed, and I was hit by a wave earlier, which I'm still experiencing a little bit of it.  I would say on average that I'm about 65 to 70 percent healed.  I do fear that I will have PTSD..  I know I'll remember all this, but I want the emotional memory to vanish.  I won't consider myself healed until at the very least that occurs.

[[se...]]

I no exactly what you mean about the lighting it was never something I had ever experienced before the benzo's so I believe it is also something that will go away with time. Good luck to you!