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THE BEST DIVORCE LETTER EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TO MAKE YOU LAUGH


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THE BEST DIVORCE LETTER EVER! Dear Wife, I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you forever. I’ve been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it. These last 2 weeks have been hell. ... Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today & that was the last straw. Last week, you came home & didn’t even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don’t tell me you love me anymore; you don’t want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife. Either you’re cheating on me or you don’t love me anymore; whatever the case, I’m gone. Your EX-Husband P.S. don’t try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life! —— Dear Ex-Husband Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It’s true you & I have been married for 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you’ve been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping Too bad that doesn’t work. I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was ‘You look just like a girl!’ Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can’t say something nice, I didn’t comment. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago. About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning. After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica But when I got home you were gone.. Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won’t get a dime from me. So take care. Signed, Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free! P.S. I don’t know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that’s not a problem.
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Starbird, When did you begin to feel better from your detox?

 

Hi, I felt like I turned a corner at about 8.5 months off, though at about 6 months off I started feeling steady improvements with sleep so I'm sure that contributed to overall better healing thereafter.    :)

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Funny!

Heres one for you. A wife finds out her wealthy husband is cheating. She needs to get revenge. He is a vintage wine collector. Big time! She takes his whole collection and puts it in the swimming pool. The wine is still fine to drink...... the only problem is the labels all come off.  TRUE STORY! Guess who did it?

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  • 1 year later...

:clap: :clap: :2funny: :2funny: 

 

Going through the archives... This is hysterical!  Thought I'd post a reply to get this reborn at the front line.

 

Pattylu

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THE BEST DIVORCE LETTER EVER! Dear Husband, I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you forever. I’ve been a good woman to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it. These last 2 weeks have been hell. ... Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today & that was the last straw. Last week, you came home & didn’t even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk panties. You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don’t tell me you love me anymore; you don’t want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife. Either you’re cheating on me or you don’t love me anymore; whatever the case, I’m gone. Your EX-wife P.S. don’t try to find me. Your BROTHER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life! —— Dear Ex-Wife Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It’s true you & I have been married for 7 years, although a good woman is a far cry from what you’ve been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping Too bad that doesn’t work. I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was ‘You look just like a boy!’ Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can’t say something nice, I didn’t comment. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY BROTHER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago. About those new silk panties: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & I hoped it was a coincidence that my brother had just borrowed $50 from me that morning. After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica But when I got home you were gone.. Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won’t get a dime from me. So take care. Signed, Your Ex-Husband. Rich As Hell & Free! P.S. I don’t know if I ever told you this, but my brother Carl was born Carla. I hope that’s not a problem.

 

Time we men had the laugh. :laugh:

 

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