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Was this just a flare up or did I set myself back


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i, about 9 mos off I had started using some niacinamide...no problems from it at all. Then the night I drank the Indian tea, its basically black tea with other spices in it like star anise, black pepper etc. OMG about 1/2 hour later all hell started breaking loose then the next day things got so bad, worse than when I came off the drug.  Severe dr and the world got a white haze around, intrusive thoughts, severe anxiety, rapid heart rate, brain burned, skin burned, my mind just totally left.

 

things just morphed and changed from one sensation to the other, each as disturbing as the thing before until it finally passed for the most part. Then I took some vitamin D and then I turned into a ghost or something...I even had some hallucinations, felt invisible or that I didn't exist. I don't know how I managed to survive but I remember spending alot of time in bed.

 

All this took about 4 months to resolve. I have spoken with people who are already recovered and they laugh at the idea of me undoing my healing..but I just can't get over how traumatic those 4 months were..albeit I did have some windows where I really felt "me" wake up but it never lasted very long.

 

Has anyone had reactions like this and thought you really hurt your recovery, but you didn't?

 

Since then, starting round about 10 or 11 months off,I started getting severe intrusive memories, they will NOT stop..my mind keeps vomiting out random facts, information, and it seems that I am living my entire past over and over again..in detail...sometimes I even remember what clothes or perfume I was wearing at the time...though it feels like none of these things ever really happened..like its my mind just fabricating these things on its own..but I know its not cuz I ask people this or that and they are like OMG how are you remembering all these things? Some of my memories I asked my mother about and she said "you were just 6 weeks old" LOL!

 

Please tell me I didn't screw my brain up anymore. I feel like I really done myself in. I have heard others say the same and they STILL recovered but for some reason I feel like I would be the ONE who really really managed to do such a thing.

 

love

cupcake

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IMHO, the only thing you can do to set yourself back is to increase your dose, anything else is either a coinsidence or a flare up.  ;)
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okay thanks sweety, what if those things consumed actually acted on GABA receptors or chemicals in the brain.

 

cc

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Hi sweetie,

 

  I know what you have been dealing with for some time now hun, but I know deep down theres NOWAY you ruined your recovery , its impossible from a tea , it probably gave you a slight set back , but no way it ruined your recovery, I always feared I did from taking Homeopathic Remedies , but I was assured theres no way from ruining our recovery unless we took another Benzo. Going through W/D theres no rhyme or reason , I also went through a period of fear of ruining my recovery , looking for reasons why I was having a major set back , but instead it was the way these symptoms were to play out no matter what I did or didnt do. As myself I am now at 15 1/2 mths out and cant belive I am still gng through this , and I know you were also on short term like me a few mths , so keep telling yoiurself its w/d hun and you are gng to recover no matter what , I read alot of stories where people were having huge set backs at 11-12-13 even 14 mths out , feeling like they were c/t all over again , myself included. Your almost there , hang in for a little longer. Your always in my prayers sweetie.

 

Love Always

Laura

xoxoxooxo

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okay thanks sweety, what if those things consumed actually acted on GABA receptors or chemicals in the brain.

 

cc

 

Think of it this way: alcohol 100% definitely acts on the same GABA receptors.  Many here have had alcohol along the way, some with positive effects (that is, in moderation it was pleasant and nothing bad came of it), some with no effect, and some with negative effects.  Even the ones who have negative effects don't seem to feel that they've seriously set themselves back but more along the lines of just having had a bad experience that usually, at worst, extends into the next day.  And that's with something that 100% definitely works on the same GABA receptors, whereas your tea is a lot more up in the air.  I think you're ok.

 

;)

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thanks guys, it was just soooo horrific, i mean it's passed and gone and in the past, but i just can't get over how bad it was...I used niacinamide and i read that it does act on the receptor and CNS and so does some of the herbs in that indian tea..as far as the vitamin D, I used it once but a big amount, but I used it shortly after the first flare up so I feel that it flared me up even more, causing even more distress on my CNS that would make it impossible for me to recover...people still laugh at me when I say this though.

 

love

ari

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When I tried to take niacinamide in the powdered form...it revved me up and made me feel horrible.  I can't take hardly anything....not even magnesium.  I have been taking a multi vitamin...C...and a little calcium.

Chamomile tea flares me up...and I don't understand it. 

Since you are so sensitive, it is probably best to avoid any new supplements.  I wonder how long it takes before the brain can tolerate them, again ? 

 

Sunny girl

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Cupcake,

 

The only thing I can contribute is that I have been taking B Complex and Vitamin D since the beginning (and even before Detox) because I tested low in B12 and D, and I have been definitely moving forward in my recovery.  So if it were to do anything I think I would not have seen improvements like I have.  I really don't know if B vitamins ramp me up as I have never stopped taking them the whole time, but my sx's seem to be the same ones everyone else moans about and I have had windows where everthing (just about) went away.

 

Hope that helps!

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