Giving up so soon

[[Yo...]]

Im only on day 9 of klonopin w/d but I just can't take it. I havent slept in 2 days and the heaviness in my chest, anxiety and twitching is just too much. My husband and friends have told me that maybe Im "just not ready yet". I don't know what that means... Nobody is ever READY to feel this way. It wont be any different later. I don't want to be a victim to this pill anymore. I sat in the kitchen and cried for a good hour... staring at this FLAKE of a pill. It has complete control over me. I want to be FREE from this.  :'(

 

Nobody I know understands this. They think Im nuts.

 

So I took the damn pill. I gave up. I gave in. I feel like such a failure and as though I just wasted the last 9 days of my life in hell for no good reason. I dont know what to do. Im seeing my dr next week to see if he will compound this stuff, although I highly doubt it, he's the one who suggested I just quit taking it. He said 'its the smallest dose they make, you'll be fine' .....I don't know what my insurance covers but I think Id really like to have it compounded. I like the exact-ness of that method, it sounds much nicer. Titration is just so much shit to worry about and I know if I do it myself I'll get antsy and just want to get it over with again.

 

Oh man. Now how long till I feel better again? This ache in my chest is terrible.

 

[[st...]]

Hello Yogagirl,

 

I am here, and I'm suffering too.  I'm benzo-free for a long time and in a 'wave' right now.  Your username actually holds the secret - yoga can do wonders. I do the Chinese yoga called qigong every day now and it calms me and helps me to be more optimistic.

 

It will get better for you, don't give in!!!!

 

[[BY...]]

Hi Yogagirl,

 

Many people thought I was nuts also and at times, thought I was heading in that direction myself. Unfortunately, this is something we have to keep trying to endure.

 

It's OK to cry too. If you try to keep it in, it just adds more stress.

 

There were a couple times when I was awake for 96 hours. What struggle10 suggested about Yoga will really help you, if you work at it. Many times, meditation was a great help for me. It didn't help me sleep, but it did help distract me and did relieve some of the muscle tension..

 

These waves will go away and sleep will return, as it did for me, it will happen for you.

 

You will get through this.

 

Keep swinging,

 

Mike