Scared

[[Ju...]]

I typed in my blog because it is too much to type here. I forgot to add breathing problems in my blog. Like I can't get enough air in. I am so afraid of what I have done to my self and that it will get worse. That I will forget who I am or can't take the pain. I am scared.

[Guest [Si...]]

Juusthere,

 

I have the breathing problems too and they are horrific.

 

Linder has the same thing, she will stop by I'm sure.

 

I just feel I can't get enough air.

 

Is the valium building up for you?

It takes it a little while to build in your system.

 

[[Th...]]

The breathing problem is by far the worst sx I have. Everyday I am tempted to go to the ER but I went to Walgreens and purchased a pulse oximeter for a very small price just to reassure myself that no matter what tricks my mind and anxiety try to play on me I have proof that im getting enough oxygen and this has really helped me to relax and not obsess so much over my breathing!

[Guest [Si...]]

I, too have the Oximeter.. it's a good little gadget.

 

 

[[Ju...]]

I don't think it's building up, Billy. I know I can't go through this day in and day out. I read where tolerance withdrawal is rare. It slammed me and is getting worse. I honestly don't know what to do. I can't handle this. I can't stabliz, it's getting worse. So hard to type and no way can I talk to the doc. I need help...I don't know what to do.

[Guest [Si...]]

Juusthere,

 

Tell me this, why do you think you are in tolerance?

 

Panic attacks back?

No sleep?

 

I have insomnia problems big time sometimes..

 

The valium, how long have you been on it now?

 

 

[[Ju...]]

I went to the hospital on June 29th because I had been ill for a few days with symptoms and my friend is diabetic so he took my sugar level. It was 160. They ran a ct scan and gave me Ativan.(The hospital is where I had a brief hallucination) I'd felt numbness in my brain and burning pain in my hands and feet before that. So much has happened that I can't remember sxs before that...I went to the doc 2 days later and was weak,shaking and scared. He gave me a B12 shot and switched me to Valium because I asked. I'm so sick now that I don't think he will help me dry cut.

 

I have diaherrea every single morning. I will see "electricity" whether my eyes are open or shut after going to the bathroom. This was happening before the hospital too. I had a d/r experience going to the bathroom and seeing my little cousin before the hospital. I read about ambien and discontinued it... Before I was switching to Valium, I would have horrible panic and it was hard to breathe. Felt like I was in a wet suana and couldn't get air in. Terrible nerve pain in my legs, feet, hands and arms (it lets up now but still there and does come back hard at times).

 

I feel band around my head but not too bad yet, scary to feel it though. They saw fluid in one ear at the e.r. and my head is definitely stopped up. I cry so much everyday because I feel like I am dying. Very little sleep and that makes it worse. Electric feeling in my heart when I wake up and pain along with dread of going through it again while trying to calm myself. Heart palps different from any anxiety attack I've ever felt. d/p  and d/r and stay in slight d/p and d/r but a few times it was bad. Muscles rolling but they don't hurt, they just roll. Twitching around left side of mouth. At the first of the month, tv was impossible. I can try at night now but think about being so ill the whole time.

 

More symptoms but I just can't think right now. I also forget what I am thinking when trying to talk and have difficulty talking. I haven't been anywhere except for once this month. I went to Walmart and had to wear sunglasses. A woman that worked there asked if I was ok because I couldn't steady myself and I know I looked bad. I can't walk even up the road because my heart will start again. I felt like I would blackout once from it...I'm sorry Billy, I'm thinking of symptoms as they come. I stay in pain and fear and it is so hard to think. I am not usually needy like this. I can handle things but this is so bad. When I read about the small percent of relative/tolerance withdrawal, I knew I was in for it. Things can't get much harder. I've almost went to a psych ward as it is. I fear the will get much harder since this is only tolerance..But those are some reasons I think I am in tolerance. I don't know what to do and am sad and terrified.

 

The Valium, I have been on since June 29th and have another dose to cross over to.

[[Ho...]]

You can all rest assured the breathing symptoms do go away. I felt like I was suffocating the first 6 months of my withdrawal. I felt as if my throat was closing in, and I also had a weird, uncomfortable feeling in my chest non stop. The very worst of it started getting better around 3 - 4 months off, but the symptoms went well into the 6th month....possibly a little longer. It does go away though, I promise!!!

[[Ju...]]

Thank you ALL for your replies. I'm just terrified that I haven't even made a cut yet and can't until i crossed over fully. I'm so scared that it will all get worse and worse until I can't take it anymore.

[Guest [Si...]]

Juusthere,

 

How are you feeling?

[[Ju...]]

Hey Keryn I'm feeling "ok" at the moment. Thank you! I'm scared out of my mind about how bad the withdrawal will get and ending up in a psych ward ect. but no pain right now. The same dp/dr but not as bad. I hope you're feeling ok!

[Guest [Si...]]

Hey Keryn I'm feeling "ok" at the moment. Thank you! I'm scared out of my mind about how bad the withdrawal will get and ending up in a psych ward ect. but no pain right now. The same dp/dr but not as bad. I hope you're feeling ok!

 

Good to hear you're feeling a little better.

[[mi...]]

I typed in my blog because it is too much to type here. I forgot to add breathing problems in my blog. Like I can't get enough air in. I am so afraid of what I have done to my self and that it will get worse. That I will forget who I am or can't take the pain. I am scared.

 

Justhere, Hi. I know that you are in pain and suffering.. I am so sorry. I also know how you feel.  You are not alone at all.

I to cannot remember alot and also have the breathing problem with w/d... Please, know that it will pass.. It is hard to think that when you are in it.. I know.. I also know that it is true... You will be fine.. Listen to your buddies here.. They know what they are talking about... I listen to them also.. You are lucky you found bb... They are wonderful people... I know that you are too.  You will get better... everyone here does... I am thinking of you now and hope you feel better soon.  I will pray for you.

Your buddy,

Mishi

[[Ju...]]

Mishi, you are a sweet spirit. I've read you comforting others while in so much pain yourself. I will be praying for you too.