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Split personality and fear of everything being cancer..


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Today is my 9th day benzo free...I do feel like I have a split personality...Good days I want to cram a lifetime of in 24hrs..Bad days Im sure every mole,mark,sore,everything in my mouth is oral cancer.Im having my worst day off benzos today...My whole torso feels like it is being squeezed..My head feeling is tight,zaps,and lighted,like I could pass out at anytime....Its just crazy....I was at the dentist 2 weeks ago...I cancelled my appt for tuesday because of a sinus infection...Also I feel like I can feel every tooth in my mouth...I mean feel the tooth itself...I do not have any cavitys...And my dentist just gave me an oral cancer exam.Which he does every 6months...I have another appt on aug 3rd..I hope he can put my mind to rest or at least run some kind of test that will prove to me that I dont have oral cancer...If he cant I will find another doctor for a second to look at what I think is the problem....I hate this type of anixety...This way of thinking is what got me started on the benzo in the first place....Has anybody ever had these problems? Please help me with my crazy thinking... :'(
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I understand how you feel elsie.  During the worst of my withdrawal every little symptom would cause me to think of cancer or something else that was terminal, especially the symptoms that were persistent.  I developed a cough one week into my withdrawal that lasted over 2 weeks and I was worried about lung cancer.  I also was worried that my trembling and anxiety were caused by a brain tumor... it was horrible thinking that way.  The cough eventually went away as did many of the other symptoms that caused me concern.

 

Generally we don't want to seem like hypochondriacs running to the doctor's to get every symptom checked out, but you seem fixated on oral cancer so perhaps it will ease your anxiety a bit to get looked at.  I am fairly confident that you have nothing to worry about, but I know how persistent anxiety can be.  

 

Hang in there, these obsessive thoughts are magnified by your withdrawal right now.  Your body is in the fight or flight mode and assessing all perceived dangers in an exaggerated sense.  It is hard to fight the thoughts, but you can train how you react to them.  Your 'crazy' thinking will ease up :hug:

 

Crono

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thank you for your reply...Im trying to teach myself to stop that kind of thinking,or not to dwell on it.If I find something that I think needs checked out stay calm.Dont keep playing the crazy loop thinking over and over..This is hard for me because before the benzo use I only went to the doctors once in 10yrs...Now everything is fatal...My sinus infection.Yes I did that cough thing also...My husband had a cold,my grandkids had a cough,but my cough i thought for sure was lung cancer....But thank you for putting me at ease until my dentist appointment....Worrys just cause me anxiety.I have to learn to let go...
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I can totally relate to the cancer hypochondria. At one point during withdrawal I had headaches and nausea, I was certain it was a brain tumor, but it finally subsided. I have other withdrawal symptoms now though and I'm constantly battling the hypochondria that accompany them.

 

Good luck

Katie

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Hi Katie, I can identify with this feeling. Pretty much why I started on these pills too. I just try to breath deeply and tell myself that these thoughts are just nonsense and that they are filling my head with negativity. I don't want to live that way, it's such a waste, so I keep busy. I swim most days and I really feel that is helping me through the w/d's. I am 6 and 1/2 weeks into it after 17 years of diazepam. Hang in there as I already have days where I feel okay at times. Worst for me is night time, when the anxiety hits. Try drinking herbal teas and meditating/relaxation techniques.
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