hello

[[Ki...]]

Hi,

  I just found your site and am glad. Have been on kolonipin for 20 years.  Am starting to taper from 1.25. 

[[Pa...]]

Hello Kittie, Welcome to BenzoBuddies!

 

Another 20 year benzo veteran, we have a number here who have successfully tapered from these drugs after that long.  How are you planning to taper, have you discussed this with your Dr?  Sorry for asking so many questions, we just want to make sure you're going to do this right. 

 

Please ask questions, we're here to help.

 

Pam

 

[Guest [Si...]]

Hello Kittie,

 

Welcome to BenzoBuddies!

 

You will find plenty of support here.

 

Sigma.

[[Be...]]

Hi, Kittie, and welcome to BenzoBuddies.

 

I'm one of the former 20-year benzo users who is now free. I was on a different benzo (lorazepam/Ativan) but the process is the same for all of us.  People who slowly taper off seem to do better long-term than those that quit abruptly.  Let us know how we can help.

[[ca...]]

Hello Kittie and welcoming you to BB! Glad you found us. Congrats on getting your taper started, let us know how we can help.

[[St...]]

Hi kittie, I'm a long timer too, over 20 years. It's liberating to finally be off! I'm glad you found us, we're here for you.

 

Welcome aboard

 

Star

[[Ni...]]

Hello Kittie,

 

I can't tell you how relieved I was when I found this site, it is so comforting to know there are other people out there going through the same thing.

 

Welcome to BB

 

[[Mi...]]

Hi Kittie and welcome.

 

Please feel free to let us know if you have any questions and how we may help.

[[sh...]]

Hey Kittie,

 

Congratulations on your decision to taper off. There's many forum members who were on benzos just as long as you and they are now healed and living successful lives, so please don't ever feel like you're alone in this. We're all here to support you and answer any questions you have. So glad to have you on the forum. Welcome to BenzoBuddies!

[[Ki...]]

Had long two page reply. Think I have lost it. not sure. Please let me know if it lost. Was about my situation. Short of it was meds, Bipolar II etc.

Thanks,

Kittie

[[Pa...]]

Hi Kittie,

 

Yes, it appears it was lost, I'm very sorry I know how frustrating that can be.    Please try again if you're up to it.

[[Ki...]]

Had long two page reply. Think I have lost it. not sure. Please let me know if it lost. Was about my situation. Will try again.

Am on 225mg Brand nameLamictal in morning (for Bipolar II) (Have to stay on BP mes.)

        300mg Generic Triliptal at night and 100mg more or less for anxiety during day  

          Bipolar II)

        88MG  Brand name Synthriod (A now in adjustment period) (thyroid)

        40mg  Generic Protonix for (Reflux)

          5mg  Generic Norvasc for blood pressure

          .125mg right now.

        Herbal supplement for sleep.

        (have tried Lunesta, Visperil, and Diopan for sleep. Trying to stay off of. Just another drug to get off of. Think that is all of them. Please bare with me. My mind is not good right now. This rambling is hard to follow.Went on K in 1992 .5mg for sleep. Now am up to .125. Want to get off. Does not work any more. Think am in tolerance withdrawal right now. Do not want to increase. Have had same pdoc and therapist for 20 years also. pdoc is not happy about taper, so am doing myself,but therapist is helping me with plan somewhat. Not sure should be doing this right now with thyroid adjustment,but feel like it is important to being doing. Have to stay on BP meds, so feel my recovery will not be a complete one. But being on K is so bad for me. Had a breakdown last Dec 8,2010 till March 2011. Went back to work for two months . Had to take sick leave again in June 6, 2011 till now. Was in bed, but am in house out of bed and am able to go out if needed sometimes. Will lose job most likely. Very understanding boss. He knows everything. Will try to go back to work at end of Aug. Am functional sort of. Started taper on  July 7 and did .25mg to start. Was too fast. Then did 12.5mg for two weeks. But did 12.5 last Sunday. Not good. So am going to go in 12.5  two, three weeks, or month. At .25 will go slower like others.Not sure. Am at .525mg right now. 1 5mg and a half of that. So confused about all this. Afraid to do taper. IRead  about hard recovery stories. Hope mine will not be so bad. But will try my best to go thru this process. Was diagnosed at Bipolar II at 28 and am 47 now. Have been on every combo meds for BP under the sun.  Have 5 year girl going to kindergarden this year. So much happening right now. Husband is sort of  helpful. Is sick of this whole time. Hope he holds out. Loves me a lot, but stress of taking care of me and daughter is wearing on him so bad.  My symptoms have not been bad so far: achy, bad insomnia (worse then in the past), one or two days in bed, anxiety, panicing, racing thoughts, etc.  Feel like BP meds have helped somewhat. Am so anxious today. Guess it symptoms are starting to get worse. Already have anxiety and panic disorder and BP. My fear is so great right now.Am shaking and body is in fright mode. Do not know what else to say right now. My other message was so much clearer and so much more info. Am so grateful for you guys.

 

       

Thanks,

Kittie

[[Pa...]]

Hi Kittie,

 

Thanks for telling us about yourself, you should feel better once you're off of the Klonopin and have healed from it's effects.  What size pills do you have at the moment?

 

 

[[Ki...]]

I am on .5mg pills.

 

[[Be...]]

Hi, Kittie.

 

You made a very detailed first post and then repeated it so I don't know what, if anything, you lost.

 

A lot of people taper off their benzo by cutting their tablets in the smallest pieces they can and dropping that small amount every week or so.  It sounds like you have already decided that a .25mg cut is too large for you at this point -and it is a relatively large amount compared to what you are taking - and are going to try .125mg reductions in the future.  While waiting up to 3 weeks between reductions would probably be okay, it's not a good idea to wait much beyond that time.  If making the .125mg cuts cause you too much trouble, you could try liquid titration. 

 

It will also help you to develop some self-calming techniques that you can use when you are feeling frightened or anxious.  There are a lot of good threads on the Anxiety Board if you want to look around there.  Here is a link to one of my favorites:

 

http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=13001.msg180729#msg180729

[[Ki...]]

Have a vacation coming up in August. Starting the 11th for week. Want to be ok for the visit.  Will start back after that. 12.5 is good for me. Afraid to do much more at this time. Two weeks seems to be ok. Want to be slow with the BP. Hard to tell what is what symptom wise. And am trying to go back to work.

There is alot going on right now. But really want to do this. It is so scary to me. bet is for all.

[[Ki...]]

I come here almost everyday to get hope for this process. There are so many brave folks here. It is nothing have faced in my whole life.  Thank God you are here. Want to titrate the rest of K down. Will ask for help on the titration plan. Thanks again. I know I say thanks alot, but would not be able to go on and do this without your support. Being free of K is a dream to me. Such a dream seems so far away. Yet so many have beat this hell.

[Guest [Si...]]

Kittie,

 

If you would like, you can start a blog.

You can keep up with many things, your progress and so on there.

 

I hope you're doing well.

 

Sigma.

[[Ki...]]

Thanks. not ready for a blog yet.

 

 

Kittie

[[Mi...]]

Thanks. not ready for a blog yet.

 

 

Kittie

 

No rush at all.  You can continue to post here for a while if you like.

[[Ki...]]

Well, the w/s started last night. Flu like symptoms. No sleep.Fogginess. Etc. Guess this is just the beginning.  Know it could/will get much worse. Think have had other symptoms, but have been off  work for thyroid issues. Dealing with that too. Hair is failing out. Oh well. Hear my daughter playing before church. That is the hardest part of this. Not being able to enjoy her. Have had brief windows, but she is going to kindergarden in a few weeks. Am going on a vacation on August 11-18. Will hold until after that. Want to spend as much good time with her and my family as I can before titration be for .75mg to 0mg .Guess I need to start a blog. Will do that soon. Anyway, have to go to church and pretend be o.k. Think there will be alot of pretending in the near future. Fake it till you make it as my therapist says. Have been sick for a few years now. Believe it has been thyroid and  K  intolerance. It is all so frustrating trying to do both at same time. But feel it is the key to my getting better. Just wanted to start recording my journey to being bezo free. Decided to do after looking at other meds. Found out so much after doing research. Never knew about K dependency/ intolerance. After 20 years, it is me to get going. Not sure about going back to work. Love it, but my health comes first. Can't spell either. Hope I can keep this up. Am afraid of this process.

 

Kittie

[[Pa...]]

Hi Kittie,

 

Fake it till you make it, that's what we say around here too.  No one gets this, and trying to make them understand just makes things worse for us, so we come here to talk about it.  You know, benzo's affect the endocrine system, many people report hair falling out, and if you've got thyroid issues besides, I doubt you feel very good right now.

 

Try not to think this will get worse, I've actually seen members begin to feel better as they taper, they're the minority, but hey, it could happen.  I'm sorry you're not able to feel the joy of your daughter right now, but you need to know you will when you heal, so just try to think positive.

 

Pam

[[Ki...]]

Need to look at this in a more positive way. Freedom to really see the world anew. Am at the beginning, so it is hard to see what is in store. Just a process. Actually am having a good day. Able to enjoy her. One of God's small miracles. One at a time.

[[Pa...]]

You're right Kittie, it's a process with steps, and a conclusion.  It's something we have to go through, and while it's very difficult, it can have many benefits.  Since this happened to me, I've changed for the better, I love life because I'll never again take for granted the simple joy of feeling, and of being able to relax.  You'll see, even though it's horrible, it can produce some benefits too.

[[bo...]]

Hi Kittie-Another 20 year Benzo veteran. You and me started our benzo journey about the same time. I think its a  good idea that you are gonna titrate the last portion. If I could give you any advice it would be try not to rush things too much. You obviously know the symptoms you're having are from withdrawing the Klon from your body. I have been benzo free for almost  a year now so if this old electrician can do it.....you can too. I wish I could tell you that my symptoms are all gone, but they aren't. Fake it till you make it................BOX