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Finally Benzo free, after a cross over to Diazepam from Clonazepam!


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Hi Everyone!

 

Last night at 8pm I took my final dose of Diazepam.  I started my taper in September of 2010 by making a .25mg cut from my 1mg dose of Clonazepam.  After months of not feeling well, I decided to cross over to Diazepam in Jan/Feb of 2011.  I'm glad I made that move.  It was tough, but I did find it somewhat easier to taper from Diazepam...especially being able to make smaller cuts. 

 

I have had my fair share of s/x...nausea, loss of appetite, muscle aches, stomach cramps and pains, mild headaches, panic attacks, eye strain, etc...but not all were constant.  They usually came in waves.  I was never s/x free, but had days that were FAR more tolerable than others and was often able to socialize and be out of the house. 

 

I have no clue what my future holds...and I will admit I'm pretty nervous.  I have made the firm decision to stay away from meds in general from now on.  I know after working through this difficult taper, I can take on pretty much anything.  I'm a firm believer in talk therapy and have found CBT very helpful. 

 

I'll be sure to keep you posted on my progress through this thread and my "buddie blog".  I thank you ALL for your constant support.  This forum is incredible....such a positive place.  :smitten:

 

Hugs to all,

Schatje

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                                                      Wonderful Schatje, congratulations!  :yippee:

 

 

                                                                    http://i973.photobucket.com/albums/ae216/DWBHClub/Smileys/waytogo.gif

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Hey Schatje,

 

Way to go!  We can celebrate together next year as we stopped these benzos one day apart.

 

 

Gail  "This too shall pass".

 

 

 

"Thunder"

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Thank you EVERYONE!!!  :smitten:

 

Last night was my first night without a dose...and I was actually the LEAST anxious I've been during the evening in MONTHS!  Also, I slept from midnight till 6am..then went back to bed after a pee break and slept till 9:15am!!!  FELT SO GOOD!  Today my anxiety is there..but that's the norm.  Feel more optimistic though.  I'm sure there will be "waves"...but I am holding on to the "windows".  I hope to come back time and time again w/ positive news for you all to hear.  But I'm so thankful to have you guys during the good AND the bad days when I need a virtual shoulder to cry on.

 

Thanks SO much for the support.

 

Hugs to all,

Schatje

 

 

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Hi Schatje,

 

I am not leaving benzobuddies either and am going to continue to update them with my progress and to give other members incentive to stay with it to stop the benzos.

 

Tomorrow I go to my therapist and I am taking food from the bakery and we are having a party.  She doesn't know it and will find out when I get there....lol....she will be really happy for me.

 

You hang in there and will write again on your blog or visit me....we will have our one year anniversary a day apart.  How is that for having confidence?

 

Gail  "Thunder"  "This too did pass".

 

 

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Thanks Thunder.  :)

 

I've gone for UBER positive, to pretty upset tonight.  Lots of nausea for 5 hours and it just doesn't want to let up.  I need to learn over time to not get so frustrated w/ the "waves".  Embrace the good ones.  :)

 

We all need to hear some positive feedback SO badly, so lets hope we can provide some of that...no pressure on us though. lol

 

All the best to you...and enjoy your party tomorrow w/ the therapist...awesome idea!!!  So proud of you.

 

Hugs,

Schatje

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Hi Schatje,

 

What is UBER positive?  Your nausea is probably from washing the windows in the HOT weather.

 

 

I went outside a couple of times and it was too hot and returned inside.  You are going to do fine I am sure.  It took a lot of guts to stop the benzos and there is no way we will let them win.  You are a new moderator, aren't you?  Congratulations.

 

Gail  "Thunder"

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Hi Thunder,

 

Sorry...I always use the term UBER at home for SUPER.  lol....so I was SUPER positive. 

 

Ya, this heat doesn't help...I'm already feeling a bit better now and of course I slowly start to feel more positive.  I'll just need to learn how to manage all of this...i am worrying too much.

 

Yes, I am a new moderator....thank you!!!

 

Have a good night...I'm an hour or so away from bed time. 

 

Take care,

Schatje

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Hi Schatje,

 

Keep thinking you are okay and you will be fine for your weekend trip.  Don't focus on symptoms and don't overthink things.  You are a moderator now and the administrators must feel you are capable of doing that.  You are fine and don't worry about symptoms....try to ignore them as that helps I think.... :)

 

I have no intentions of having these pills taking over again....I will never take another benzo and if there are symptoms, I will have to get through those....no way I am going backwards and "if you're going through hell, keep on going" - Winston Churchill - although I have been off one day, I feel okay and hopefully that will go on and on.

 

Have a fun day.

 

 

Gail 

 

 

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http://i1132.photobucket.com/albums/m575/maxmoo/Funny%20Pics/Greeting%20Cards/Happy%20Birthday%20and%20Good%20Job/udidit1.jpg
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Thank you Missy!

 

And thank you, Thunder.  I have no intentions of letting these meds ever enter my life.  I have my bag packed of all the pills/liquid I didn't use and will more than likely bring it back tonight to the pharmacy.  I'm clearly struggling a bit more than you...and hoping it will end soon.  I don't want this to happen, but the nausea, panic attacks and shaking are hitting me often (I do get nice breaks though).  And yes, I'm a moderator...but I'm human.  So hopefully soon I will be able to come back with MANY positive feedback..until then, the most positive thing I can say is that at least I'm Benzo Free.  :yippee:

 

All the best to everyone. 

 

Take care,

Schatje

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Hi Schatje,

 

Reading this is very inspiring! Congratulations and way to go.  :thumbsup:

 

I think I'm ready to make another cut, after reading these celebration posts!

 

Very happy for you and glad you're here. Thank you.

 

Peace and blessings,

 

Grace~

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Hi Grace , thank you for posting to my blog I forgot to say thank you . I pray your dng good today sweetie and that better days are yet to come.

 

 

Love Helpme Rhonda lol :smitten: :smitten:

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Schatje,

 

Just wanted to tell you how proud I am of your accomplishment.  You have been there a couple times for my during my journey and I will never forget it.  I just took my last dose tonight and come tomorrow I too will be benzo-free.  What a great feeling, just wish I knew what the future will hold.  My best guess is it's almost over with a few reminders that will fade away with time.

 

Congratulations!!!

 

Warmest regards,

 

Kelly

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OKOKOK...Thank you SO much for the sweet words...it means a lot.

 

I am trucking along and tonight I took my pills back to the pharmacist to be properly disposed of...I found having them in the house made me feel grouchy. lol  Now they are long gone and will never be in my home again...it feels great.  I know there will be some rough spots along the way, but I'm lucky to have great family and friends...and BB of course!  :)

 

SO happy for you, Kelly...no looking back now!  Yippee!  :yippee:

 

Take care, hugs,

Schatje

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  • 2 weeks later...

Hi Everyone...just a quick update (also, I have a "Buddie Blog" here if you want more details) :)

 

I am now 2 weeks and 5 days Benzo Free...and I feel amazing.  I still have s/x, but they decrease almost daily.  I am sleeping solid most nights and my anxiety has decreased significantly.  The lingering s/x seem to be mainly GI issues...no sense of an appetite (although I EAT b/c you have to...but my body never says "I'm hungry"), excess saliva, racing heart (mild), and some crying spells (very random and don't last long).  My evenings seem to be my most difficult time...that's when my anxiety raises and I have to pace myself and work through it. 

 

I will continue to update, but for those of you who really need to hear it (b/c I was one of those as well only a month ago)...WE DO HEAL!!!  I had a brutal taper - SO many s/x...and yet I'm doing this well and not even 3 weeks off.  So it can happen.

 

ALL the best to you guys...you are all awesome and I'm so thankful every day for the people here.

 

Love,

Schatje

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