those who have jumped- a survey

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  What phase has been harder for you- the taper or the post benzo w/d?-North

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No comparison it has been post-benzo, and I tapered for a very, very long time to a low dose (.03mg clonazepam), too.  My body absolutely was not fooled by the difference between reducing my dose and stopping my dose and it hit me harder than a ton of bricks.  

 

Also, whereas the worst days were usually days 5-10 of any taper (though it might have been pretty rough well after that point, just not worse), in this case it kept progressively getting worse and worse and worse all the way through to the end of the 5th week.  It held at this horrible cresendo for all of the 6th week, and then during the 7th week I've finally gotten some real relief.  I've also had a lot of symptoms that I never had before, once I jumped.

 

I think that this might be an interesting thread, but I think it will be even more interesting if everyone states how long they were tapering for and what they had tapered down to at the time that they jumped.

 

 

 

[[Co...]]

Sweet G... My god.  I'm really really really hope I don't have a similar experience when I jump.

[[Be...]]

My God,

I havent jumped yet but I am tomorrow. I have been tapering for 2 weeks and it is not helping at at!!! Ativan is a demon and so is lortab!!!!  I think just taking 1/4 of the ativan the last 2 weeks  has only drawn out the w/ds longer so tomorrow is it, Hell It couldnt be any worse than it is on me right now. God Speed to All

Belle

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Post benzo by far!!!  Billwill

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Definitely post-benzos.

 

I got such a shock after jumping July 4th from 0.5 mg. Valium.  I'd completed an 11-month taper (including a month for the c/o from Klonopin) where I held my cuts anywhere from 10-21 days depending on how I was feeling.  While the last 5 mg. were rough, that was nothing compared to how I felt about five days after jumping. 

 

I experienced anxiety, intrusive/racing thoughts, insomnia, nausea, and headache off and on throughout the taper, but nowhere near what I've dealt with in the last week or so.  I wasn't prepared for the intensity and relentlessness of this.  I guess I thought by doing a slow, sensible taper that I'd avoided this kind of reaction.  Wrong!

 

I didn't really get just how nasty and powerful benzos are until now because I can't believe I'm having this response after almost a year-long taper.  I'm in a state of shock.

 

Thanks for this thread,

Mal

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Okay...this thread is not helping me prepare for tomorrow when I take my last dose.  :'(

[[Fr...]]

Wow, I thought with my slow taper that I'd feel better once I was off for a few weeks. This is very scary!

 

Frannie

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Post benzo for sure.  I did a pretty fast taper. I just wanted it to be over.

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I'm sorry if what I said scared people, and I realize that I should have included something positive in my post because there is some light.  After a solid week of about 2 hours sleep a night, I was able to sleep almost 7 hours a couple nights ago.  I actually experienced genuine sleepiness--something I haven't felt in ages.  Also, that same night, I got a reprieve from the racing/intrusive thoughts. 

 

I also started eating real food yesterday, as opposed to the dry toast, soup, ginger ale I've been living on this past week.  I've been eating normally today too so it looks like my digestive system is settling down.

 

There's a part of me that thinks I would have been better off if I could have seen this coming.  It does seem to happen to a lot of people, so I think if you're prepared for the possibility of it, it may not be as bad.  A ramping-up of symptoms after the last dose also seems to be part of the healing process, so seeing it in this way could be helpful. 

 

Schatje--Keep Benzo-Wise close at hand because the author has such a tremendous attitude, and she refers to Acute Withdrawal in the book.  You've gotten this far, I know you can handle whatever comes your way.  I'll be thinking about you tomorrow.  You're gonna do this!

 

All the best,

Mal

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a few weeks out post.

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Mal,

 

No worries...the truth is important to hear.  I just wish people who felt slowly better after w/d came back on more often...but they're feeling good and don't need the support on here, so it makes sense.  I am terrified.  Prepared or not...I have such a fear of vomiting, and the shear thought of it happening post w/d scares me beyond belief...I've had lots of nausea during my taper, but have managed to stay away from vomiting.  It just doesn't make sense to me that after a proper taper, this can still happen!  

 

If I DO improve after I jump tomorrow, I'll be sure to SHOUT IT OUT so that people hear the good stuff too. lol  But now I feel doubtful.

 

All the best to you...I am SOOOOOOO happy to hear you've felt a couple of little improvements these past few days...much deserved.

 

Hugs,

Schatje

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Phew, that is pretty scary. It's the truth for some, but not for all. Just because others have felt terrible after a jump doesn't mean we'll all feel the same thing. I know I put on a proud face, but I'm scared too. Where's it gonna get me though? Fear only multiplies and infects. I'm not saying don't be afraid. Everyone has a right to their feelings. I'm just saying don't let the fear of what might happen keep you in a state of anxiety. I probably will come back, kicking and screaming about the w/d symptoms I felt after jumping, but I have it in my head that it will not last forever and the pain I'll go through is only healing. We're all gonna make it through this.

[[...]]

Post benzo for sure.  I did a pretty fast taper. I just wanted it to be over.

 

Yeah me too. Post benzo is harder but not because of the withdrawals per se but rather the length of them. For me it seems to be on going and can be frustrating at times.

 

Don't be scared to jump of them though as it was the best thing that i could of done. Yes it takes time to get well but it would be much worse if i was still on them as i would have been prolonging it. Someday i will be 100 percent again !

 

Stay strong, we do recover

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Good point, Shaneb

 

I try SO hard to remain as positive as possible throughout this entire taper...but to read so many people quickly respond by saying it got worse is so discouraging.  But I won't know till I do it myself...and I'm saying it now....if I DO feel better, I will be SURE to come back here to tell the world.  lol  We are all in need of some positive feedback.

 

Hugs,

Schatje

[[Bi...]]

Hi Everyone -

 

It's said that a slow taper reduces the severity of post benzo s/x.  They are not eliminated - that's the mistaken assumption that catches many people off-guard.  The body is now getting used to life without benzos only after the last dose.

 

Congrats Schatje!!  I could never complete a slow taper and had to go faster to finally get off.  Probably paid a higher price for that - but I'll never know.

 

Best, Billwill

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This is why I could never taper.  Feeling crap for a taper then feeling crap afterwards did not appeal to me.  I voted for the whole misery of taper bundled into 1 week of proper acute withdrawal followed by 6 months of misery (which I would have had in tapering anyway)

[[sh...]]

The horror stories scare me too, Schatje. I hope your jump ends smoothly and I appreciate that you'll be back to tell us how it goes. Good luck  

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Well, most people who ct'd seem to say they wish they had tapered.  At the end of the day tapering is what's best for our mind and body.  It's the healthiest way to do this and people who taper work hard for the finish line...unfortunately SOME still have many issues once finished.  We just don't get to hear the "good stuff" very often b/c most people on a forum are here b/c they are need.  The healed ones are off enjoying life to the fullest...as they should be.

 

Schatje

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Well, most people who ct'd seem to say they wish they had tapered.  At the end of the day tapering is what's best for our mind and body.  It's the healthiest way to do this and people who taper work hard for the finish line...unfortunately SOME still have many issues once finished.  We just don't get to hear the "good stuff" very often b/c most people on a forum are here b/c they are need.  The healed ones are off enjoying life to the fullest...as they should be.

 

Schatje

 

 

My experience is quite different.  Many people I meet who have CTd AND NOT REINSTATED say they are glad they toughed it out rather than stay on the poison longer and suffer the misery of taper.  I all depends who you talk to.

 

There is no healthiest way to do this as it is different for everyone.  Many people can simply stop taking the meds without any problems.  Those kind of people are not to be found on these kinds of forums, we just get the horror stories  People who taper might work hard to get to the finish line, but people who CT work hard to keep going after the finish line.

 

 

 

Tapering offers no guarantee of it being easier after taking that last dose, the only thing tapering "guarantees" is that one won't seize after their last dose.

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All I am saying is that to come off of any Benzodiazepine "cold turkey" runs the risk of far worse s/x such as seizures...so I'm careful not to "promote" it.  This is why I say it is the "healthiest" way to come off of one.  I am fully aware this is no easy way to do this...but I DO know that by making smaller cuts from my Diazepam taper has been FAR easier and less stress on my body than the LARGE cut I made from Clonazepam at the start of my taper.

 

So yes, we may draw out s/x by tapering...but it's not as harsh and sudden on our bodies.

 

Done.

 

Schatje

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Sweet G... My god.  I'm really really really hope I don't have a similar experience when I jump.

 

I hope not, too.  My best advice would be to taper lower and then don't have anything important (especially at work, if you have a job) for at least two months after jumping.  If it's going to be a while before things slow down, then just use the time to taper even lower.

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To the two people who feel a little less enthused about jumping off, tomorrow, I have mixed feelings of being sorry and not being sorry.  I certainly regret any distress I have caused, but at the same time I really seriously wished that I had had some inkling of what was going to happen to me when I jumped.  If I had known, I would have done the followingly differently:

 

1.  I first of all would have tapered lower

 

2.  I would have held my last dose as long as it took to have taken care of absolutely everything in my life that could possibly be taken care of in advance and arranged rides to critical appointments/errands (as I was unable to drive myself anywhere until my 7th week).  I would have fully stocked up on groceries and dog food, paid bills, cleaned (because that's about the last thing that's going to get taken care of for a long time), done all laundry, stocked up on books, run all errands I could anticipate, etc.

 

If knowing this gives you pause to think that maybe it would be better to taper lower or to hang out for a few more days while you make arrangements for the *possibility* of being really laid up for a while (or until you get done with that big project at work), then I don't think that that would be a bad thing.  If you go forward with your original plan armed with the knowledge that there might (or might not) be some tough going ahead, I don't think that that would be a bad thing, either.  I hope very much that you don't have the same experience that I did.

 

Good luck, whatever you decide!

 

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Thanks for taking the time to write that, Sweet g!

 

I will go on as planned...when I take my last dose tomorrow night of Diazepam, it will equal that of taking 0.025mg of Clonazepam.  I'll take the chance...and I've done lots of laundry tonight.   Fortunately my husband will help pick up the pieces if needed...my BIGGEST concern is that a) we have plans to go to a cottage this coming weekend for 2 nights w/ 17 people...and b) we have guests coming to stay w/ us from Europe for 2 weeks in August.  I'll have to wait and see how things go I guess.  I can only hope for the best.

 

All the best to you,

Schatje

[[am...]]

All I am saying is that to come off of any Benzodiazepine "cold turkey" runs the risk of far worse s/x such as seizures...so I'm careful not to "promote" it.  This is why I say it is the "healthiest" way to come off of one.  I am fully aware this is no easy way to do this...but I DO know that by making smaller cuts from my Diazepam taper has been FAR easier and less stress on my body than the LARGE cut I made from Clonazepam at the start of my taper.

 

So yes, we may draw out s/x by tapering...but it's not as harsh and sudden on our bodies.

 

Done.

 

Schatje

 

 

good luck tomorrow.  hope your taper turns out to have been worth it