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Scary Memory


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My mind has become razor sharp in remembering long ago things and usually bad happenings. It can go back for years and yet I find it hard to remember things that I was told yesterday. Is this benzo withdrawal brain? Please somebody answer as I'm becoming very upset and nervous. I'm afraid that it might be something else.

 

Frannie 

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What you are experiencing is intrusive memories and they are extremely common during tapering and withdrawal. It has been one of my worst symptoms and I also to have a problem with remembering simple things especially peoples names. Here is Dr. Ashtons explination of intrusive memories.

 

Intrusive memories. A fascinating symptom in patients undergoing benzodiazepine withdrawal is that they often mention the occurrence of what seem to be intrusive memories. Their minds will suddenly conjure up a vivid memory of someone they have not thought about or seen for years. Sometimes the other person's face will appear when looking in the mirror. The memory seems uncalled for and may recur, intruding on other thoughts. The interesting thing about these memories is that they often start to occur at the same time that vivid dreams appear; these may be delayed until one or more weeks after the dosage tapering has started. Since recent sleep research indicates that certain stages of sleep (REMS and SWS) are important for memory functions, it is likely that the dreams and the memories are connected. In both cases the phenomena may herald the beginning of a return in normal memory functions and, although sometimes disturbing, can be welcomed as a sign of a step towards recovery.

 

Poor memory and concentration are also features of benzodiazepine withdrawal, and are probably due to continued effects of the drug. Mentors should be prepared to repeat encouragements again and again, week after week, as their words are soon forgotten.

 

 

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Yes, Mine has been doing this also. Everything in the past remembered like it was yesterday, but cant remember what I did 2 days ago. I hope and see that this is pretty common, by reading the end post concerning the Ashton Manuals.

Belle

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If these are indeed Instusive Memories...then these have caused the gist of all my problems. From the beginnings of c/t...that is when I began to witness my childhood, in all its inglorious details. I began to recall all the injustices that I was put through by a cousin...who molested me and then later, caused everyone to hate me and humiliate me. He left me alone for much of my preteen to teenage years. Funny thing is that there are songs I remember or hear. Certain situations bring back a sense of deja vu. Some are good memories and some I wish would fade. I can't remember what happened 7 years ago...while I was on Paxil and Clonazepam...that remains fogged and well hidden. Maybe that's a good thing.

 

I went mad...when these first images played itself out...when I saw a sad, lost childhood. Now I am...not accepting...but I might be making peace with this. I understand why it has affected you in this way. Strange how we remember the bad stuff first...it's the good memories that are hard to reclaim.

 

I pray you find the good memories soon.    

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Hi Frannie,

 

I have been experiencing some of the same issues as you. I have had to set my taper dose out for the day because I couldn't remember if I took a dose or not, and I was so afraid I would up dose and not know it. That's how bad my short term memory has been. I've heard this is all temporary and that your short term memory comes back to you during your healing. It's scary, though.

 

Also, I have had bad memories come back to haunt me, they usually start from vivid dreams. The dreams have gotten better since I learned how to taper properly, so they don't trigger bad memories as bad. Sometimes the memories just pop-up by themselves, and sometimes they are about something I have failed at. Now that I understand it is benzos doing this I don't feel as bad. I also read a daily affirmation book to help me get my thoughts on a positive track. You can pick up a daily affirmation book at a book store, they have all different kinds. I post from mine daily in Accentuate the Positive section.

 

Wishing you strength and healing. :)

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Hi

I have some bad memories and they scare me more than in the time they happened. Then I feel so anxious and depressed, and confused, and nervous. I want to jump from my skin. I can't get rid of them. It is not that this never happened to me (sometimes remember something from your past) then now is so disturbing. And only some bad memories.

 

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Frannie,

 

Yes I think about things a long time ago.. but know this is just your mind healing.

 

Of course we are going to think of things long forgotten and it's normal coming off these pills.

 

Anti-Psychotics do the same thing, once I start to come off one / or did, intrusive memories would surface.

 

Actually, some of these memories, the good ones.. cherish! They are after all part of your life.

 

S#

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Thank you all so very much for posting your experiences and taking away my fear. You are all so kind to take the time to post when you are going through the same pain as me. I'd mention your names but I have to keep looking back as I can't remember anything.

 

I do use a pill box and fill it every Sunday Morning or I'd be in a big mess!

 

Frannie

 

 

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