I'm having cog fog, kind of scary

[[Ni...]]

My cog fog is so bad right now, I forgot if I took my second dose today and I did the same thing yesterday. I didn't take it again because I was afraid I'd be up-dosing and mess-up my taper. I figured I would know later by how I felt--but I'm already a little shaky.

 

I know what to do about that, just take the doses out of the bottle and set them aside for the day.

 

But I keep being very forgetful about everything I do. I'm tapering and that is the worst symptom I'm getting, plus a lot of fatigue. It's almost like I feel like I have amnesia for little bits of the day.

 

Another thing is time seems to go real fast parts of the day. I get up early and before I know it, it's 1 in the afternoon and I haven't really done much of anything. I walk in to a room to do something, forget what I'm doing, forget where I put something. Like I'm disoriented, but not really.

 

I moved too, over a month ago and I keep forgetting the #'s of my address and landline. Thankfully I moved to my home town, so at least I don't get lost and forget how to get home. lol. I had to laugh at that one.  But if I go to a store I forget where I parked all the time. Forget to do half the errands I meant to do. Just really forgetful.

 

Is this normal cog fog or am I having derealization? Does anyone get it like this?

 

 

[[BY...]]

Hello Nicolette,

 

It sounds like you're having cog fog.

 

There were many times, I would forget things too. Not only would I misplace things but, would forget how to operate the most easiest things, like a blender. I kept pushing the button and pushing the button and it wouldn't com on. Well you guessed it, I forgot to plug it in.

Don't give up or, let it get you down, just keep exercising your brain. These problems will go away in time.

 

Here is a good description on DR. Derealization is a very common symptom with Benzo's.

 

Derealization

The detachment of realization can be described as an immaterial substance that separates a person from the outside world, such as a sensory fog, a pane of glass, or a veil. Individuals may complain that what they see lacks vividness and emotional coloring. Emotional response to visual recognition of loved ones may be significantly reduced. Feelings of déjà vu or jamais vu are common. Familiar places may look alien, bizarre, and surreal. The world as perceived by the individual may feel like it is going through a dolly zoom effect. Such perceptual abnormalities may also extend to the senses of hearing, taste, and smell. Because degree of familiarity is itself among one's sensory and psychological data when experiencing a place, the process of derealization, by blocking identification with one's surroundings, itself contributes to the difference between one's perception of one's surroundings under derealization and what one's perception would be in the absence of derealization. For this reason, the more familiar a place normally seems, the more unfamiliar it seems when a person is experiencing derealization.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Derealization

 

 

Keep healing,

Mike

[[tr...]]

I can relate...as I was taking my regular dose, I actually froze. I couldn't remember if I had squeezed my dose into the glass filled water.  I stare at the little bottle with the compounded liquid...I look at the syringe wondering what to do. I let it go; what more is there to do but wait it out now. I've done pretty much everything you've described. I put my bottle of water into the fridge, while I walked all the way to my bed with the brita container. I reversed as I was driving off and bumped into our recycle bin...I was looking to my right as I made a left hand turn. I left my keys in the house ad tried to lock the door with the side-arms of my glasses. I hear the phone ring, pick up the remote instead, and as I walk to the kitchen...I am cursing because it won't stop ringing. I am speaking into the remote, but why won't this damn phone stop ringing...even though by now I have hit every button. The list goes on and on. It's pretty sad when i think how something that is so simplistic, something I've done a hundred times over...I'm suddenly unsure what to do or unaware of what I am doing. Plus it's always fun when I can't think of a word...or I stutter as I try to form a simple sentence or I freeze because I can't spell "a". Yes, I sat there because I could not spell the word "a". Yeah cog-fog.

 

As far as DP/Dr...that's scary because it takes me a while to figure out that I've just slipped into that mode. When I finally come out of it...it's like I've been swimming in a thick fog. I Slo-Mo through the events, as if in a dream. I am...but I am not real. Everything is swirling around me. I see...I hear...I feel...I taste...but it is surreal...like I am looking at the world through a glass window...like my whole being is enshrouded by a latex glove. Voices seem distant...everything is alien to me even though I know where I am. Faces float on by...this happened while I was at my brother in laws place. He was having a pool party. While people were laughing...I was anxious and ruminating. While every one was in the warm water...I was swimming within the confines of DP/DR. When the fun was all over...that is when I was coming back to reality. As we sat there... I realized I missed out on all the fun. By night time I was myself again, and I suddenly broke into song...when I realized what had happened. Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto...how appropriate. I had to smirk at that one.  

[[Ni...]]

I know I do those odd things, I mean everybody does those things, people who aren't experiencing benzos do those things but it seems a hundred fold now.

 

I deja vu about the pills, I go to get my dose and I think I've done this before, like how many thousand times, but did I just do this five minutes ago? (I only did this the last two days because I counted them) The only explanation for this is Xanax makes you have amnesia.

 

I get presque vu all the time too, where what I want to say is on the tip of my tongue but it won't come out about the most mundane things. It's really bad, I'll go to ask my son, do you know where I put my---and then I can't even remember the word for what I'm asking for what I misplaced.

 

I did something similar to what Matrix did, tonight--and I do this stuff all the time. I put popcorn in the air popper bowl, set the micro-wave and came back to get it out and the bowl was still sitting on the counter. I went to a restaurant the other day and when I sat in the booth, I made a motion with my arm to the seat. My sister asked me if I was trying to put my seat belt on and I said, yeah, I think I was. We laughed about it, but still, it goes on and on and on.

 

Yes, the DP/DR feels like swimming underwater and swirling around and trying to find the surface, I know its there and eventually I find it, but time has passed so incredibly fast.

 

My thinking is scattered except when I'm doing certain things like reading or driving, then I'm really focused. So what helps me not ruminate is to sit outside and listen to music and meditate on nature, this relaxes my mind...but not to sound like that's all I do, I'm very active, just not as productive as I used to be or want to be.

 

All this seems to be about my perception of time and space if that makes any sense at all.