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12 Weeks Today - the worst week yet


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Hi everyone -

 

The past week has been very difficult.  Three absolutely horrendous days and generally miserable all week.  What was so bad is that I felt like I had an intense electrical current running through my body - I've had it before but not in this intensity.  It almost "freezes" me up.  I just got out of bed after curling up and closing my eyes and just hanging on.  I really thought I would see more improvement by this point.  While my s/x are not as numerous the remaining s/x have greatly increased in intensity.  Is this normal?  Trying to stay positive but it's getting hard as the intensity rises.

 

Billwill

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Hi Bill - just a note to tell u that u r not alone.  i get that weird electric thing and then i just feel compeltely sick and cry.  it's nuts.  been on  here a lot and there is not way we can compare much to each other's time schedule.  just keep thinking u r doing better and have that hope.  it's a terrible thing to have to go thru.  hard days but we are healing.  so sorry we are going thru this but an important lesson for me.  phew
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I'm right there with you.  I don't have the electrical current issues but I have constant dizziness.  It seems to have gotten worse in the last week.  I seem to be crying a lot more and wondering why this is still happening after all this time. We just have to hang in there and listen to the words of encouragement that it will get better.
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It will get better guys.  I started to get better right before 5 months where I could finally see a difference.  Hold strong, your almst there.  Linder
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Hello all,

Just wanted to chime in and say that at 6.5 months completely clean from ALL medications & alcohol, I have been experiencing several negative "waves" of symptoms. I had been doing very well in month 5 up until the middle of month 6 when I experienced what I would describe as the second worst episode of s/x since going cold turkey in December 2010. I became so very ill for 9 days that I thought I was going have to check into the hospital?! I just couldn't believe that after all that time of what seemed continuous healing and progress that it would hit me out of nowhere. I had been eating a fantastic diet, exercising and getting almost five hours of split sleep per evening, but sleep none the less. This past week seemed tolerable, but this morning I awoke to intense anxiety and depression that has lingered all throughout the day. I now have to venture out to go eat with my girlfriend and her parents at a crowded restaurant which I am in no mood to do at this stage. I use the weekends to recharge or completely relax and try my best to purge my continuous anxiety. I apologize for such downer news, but I just wanted to express my situation and can assure everybody that I am one strong person and have practiced as clean a life style as humanly possible, but the reality is that this is a time consuming process for us all and nothing seems to speed the brain's healing. Everybody is different. I have always bounced back from injury, physical or mental issues with much success, but I can say that this benzo journey is a hell of a ride.

P.S. The blurred vision is absolutely maddening and hasn't let up even a tiny bit.

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Thanks everybody!  Linder - great to hear your update!!  I'm hanging in there but it's so hard - but there is no turning back.  Bill
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Your right Billwill, there is no turning back.  You are heading straight towards your new beginning!!! :yippee: :yippee: :yippee: :yippee:
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