Tired of pain

[[Re...]]

 

I've been fighting physical pain every day since March or April 2022, and I'm exhausted. I am reaching the point now where it is tiring to talk about symptoms but I still have them and here we are.

The physical pain I'm feeling today is different from a year ago, I do not have the type of pain I once had, but it's still constant and tough to deal with. My tongue burns now, and the frozen shoulder I have had for eight months or so pulls at my neck and shoulder region. I have weird cracks and pops all the time and I feel like my muscles are being pulled past their capacity to stretch in my shoulder and neck. I still have some jaw pain but much more manageable. The neck and shoulders are not helping. I'm venting here because I know you understand. Despite it all, I still find things to be grateful for, but it feels like it never ends.

To be unhoused dealing with all of this and scrambling to find a place to live in a housing crisis with no job is a whole other level of challenge to live through.

For anyone reading this, I have very little anxiety which shocks me. It just goes to show that the anxiety I was put on benzos for was indeed a chemical side effect of the antidepressant I used to be on. I am so glad all pills are out of my life. Regardless of being in withdrawal for so many months, I am glad to be off of everything.

I long for even a glimpse of normalcy to hold onto hope. It's incredibly challenging to stay hopeful when there's little hope left.

 

 

Edited June 10 by [Re...]

[[Le...]]

sorry things are so tough. i know that tension and i manage mine with lots of stretching and massage. this works for some. your tight spot I dont have an answer for besides dont give up and put all the effort you can into solving it. 

[[Re...]]

21 minutes ago, [[L...] said:

sorry things are so tough. i know that tension and i manage mine with lots of stretching and massage. this works for some. your tight spot I dont have an answer for besides dont give up and put all the effort you can into solving it. 

When I got massages it made it worse and also caused muscle clenching in other parts of my body. I have stopped trying to ease pain because everything I have done has made it worse. It's bizarre and I never had these issues before benzos. I use a foam roller and stretch as much as I can but I can't move the arm that much to stretch.

[[Le...]]

massage made me worse too in the short term. The stretching didnt but seemed to do little until I kept at it for quite a while. then massage started helping too. If i was dealing with what you are then I doubt I would have managed much. you are tougher than me. I would likely have given up. I am impressed by your strength. 

[[bw...]]

Sorry rebecca

D porrit book called the accidental addict. In their findings and studies

They found that benzo sufferrers had very high instances of neck and shoulder pain.

 

Me included. It went away years 3-5. And returned in a setback now at 6.5yrs off.  quite normal.

Sorry hang in there.

[[En...]]

13 hours ago, [[R...] said:

I've been fighting physical pain every day since March or April 2022, and I'm exhausted. I am reaching the point now where it is tiring to talk about symptoms but I still have them and here we are.

The physical pain I'm feeling today is different from a year ago, I do not have the type of pain I once had, but it's still constant and tough to deal with. My tongue burns now, and the frozen shoulder I have had for eight months or so pulls at my neck and shoulder region. I have weird cracks and pops all the time and I feel like my muscles are being pulled past their capacity to stretch in my shoulder and neck. I still have some jaw pain but much more manageable. The neck and shoulders are not helping. I'm venting here because I know you understand. Despite it all, I still find things to be grateful for, but it feels like it never ends.

To be unhoused dealing with all of this and scrambling to find a place to live in a housing crisis with no job is a whole other level of challenge to live through.

For anyone reading this, I have very little anxiety which shocks me. It just goes to show that the anxiety I was put on benzos for was indeed a chemical side effect of the antidepressant I used to be on. I am so glad all pills are out of my life. Regardless of being in withdrawal for so many months, I am glad to be off of everything.

I long for even a glimpse of normalcy to hold onto hope. It's incredibly challenging to stay hopeful when there's little hope left.

I think you are very strong to be in the position you are in and still have some hope. You have been through alot and you need to be kind to yourself at this time. You need to look forward to the future and tell yourself this will not be forever for for now. Tell yourself you will make it through. One day this will be a horrible memory. You will not take your life for granted ever again. You will heal. You will find your new normal. Guaranteed. 

[[Re...]]

9 hours ago, [[E...] said:

I think you are very strong to be in the position you are in and still have some hope. You have been through alot and you need to be kind to yourself at this time. You need to look forward to the future and tell yourself this will not be forever for for now. Tell yourself you will make it through. One day this will be a horrible memory. You will not take your life for granted ever again. You will heal. You will find your new normal. Guaranteed. 

@[En...]I sincerely hope that I'm among those fortunate individuals who not only recover but return to a productive life.

[[Re...]]

19 hours ago, [[b...] said:

Sorry rebecca

D porrit book called the accidental addict. In their findings and studies

They found that benzo sufferrers had very high instances of neck and shoulder pain.

Me included. It went away years 3-5. And returned in a setback now at 6.5yrs off.  quite normal.

Sorry hang in there.

I believe it. I am sorry that you are in a setback and wish you a speedy recovery. I feel like most of my symptoms are literally in my face: tinnitus, ear popping and sound sensitivity, jaw pain, tongue pain and now the neck/shoulder stuff. Somedays I just want to scream -- maybe I should.

[[Re...]]

19 hours ago, [[L...] said:

massage made me worse too in the short term. The stretching didnt but seemed to do little until I kept at it for quite a while. then massage started helping too. If i was dealing with what you are then I doubt I would have managed much. you are tougher than me. I would likely have given up. I am impressed by your strength. 

@[Le...]I was actually thinking about trying some massage again today although I am inclined to just chill on treatments for another year or so. I would only try a massage -- many things that seem "benign" act on a damaged nervous system adversely for muscle pain. So I am opting out of anything like that.

I don't know if I am stronger than anyone else. I speak with many people for support and credit them for helping me to get through this. I still have my fears this might not shift for the better as I have not seen much progress in the last four months and I do not do anything risky or take anything at all. I live a clean and healthy lifestyle but that doesn't seem to be enough.

I hope one day the nightmare comes to an end and I can move on with my life. I really do. I hope the same for all of us.

Edited June 12 by [Re...]

[[be...]]

hang in there. im suffering so badly now. i saw a window yesterday but it is all gone now. the electricity in my head really freaks me out.