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Kicked out of housing, moved today


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[Re...]
Posted (edited)

Today, I  officially had to leave my home due to akathisia and its aftermath. I never could have imagined this. Despite feeling sick and dealing with a frozen shoulder, I had to assist the movers. To make matters worse, my relative callously remarked that I needed to "grow up" and eagerly anticipated celebrating my departure with champagne. It's hard to comprehend such cruelty. This entire situation feels incredibly unjust and heartbreaking.

Currently, I'm staying in a hotel, but I have to vacate by Saturday, and I haven't yet secured temporary accommodation. Many of my friends are shocked by what's happened and by the behavior of my relative. Unfortunately, some are siding with them, leading me to realize who my true allies are. If someone can't stand up for me, they don't deserve to be called a friend.

I'm struggling to navigate this new reality. Without assistance, I had to send my beloved dog to stay with someone else as I couldn't properly care for her due to my frozen shoulder. It's a far cry from the life I once knew, and I can't help but wonder how I ended up here despite being diligent about following medical advice.

My frozen shoulder makes every aspect of living alone challenging, and now it seems to be affecting my other shoulder too. I'm scared and overwhelmed, feeling utterly alone in this ordeal.

I have never had someone be so cruel to me, and I am related to this person. They say they are done with me. I really don't want someone in my life who is like this anyway. But now, they have added to my trauma 100-fold.

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[Le...]

Sadly it is impossible for anyone to really understand this if they havent suffered through it themselves. I just had everyone abandon me but not my home taken. I know it is impossible to really consider but just the second hand suffering people get from witnessing and coping with someone suffering this way is too much for most. My mother screamed at me once in month 3 when I was just starting to become coherent. She thought I should stop talking about how I was suffering and just go back to living normally. It isnt an option to just be ok obviously but just hearing about it was too much for her. 

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[Ct...]

My heart goes out to you in this horrible situation—betrayal by a relative at your most vulnerable time.

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[En...]
5 hours ago, [[R...] said:

Today, I  officially had to leave my home due to akathisia and its aftermath. I never could have imagined this. Despite feeling sick and dealing with a frozen shoulder, I had to assist the movers. To make matters worse, my relative callously remarked that I needed to "grow up" and eagerly anticipated celebrating my departure with champagne. It's hard to comprehend such cruelty. This entire situation feels incredibly unjust and heartbreaking.

Currently, I'm staying in a hotel, but I have to vacate by Saturday, and I haven't yet secured temporary accommodation. Many of my friends are shocked by what's happened and by the behavior of my relative. Unfortunately, some are siding with them, leading me to realize who my true allies are. If someone can't stand up for me, they don't deserve to be called a friend.

I'm struggling to navigate this new reality. Without assistance, I had to send my beloved dog to stay with someone else as I couldn't properly care for her due to my frozen shoulder. It's a far cry from the life I once knew, and I can't help but wonder how I ended up here despite being diligent about following medical advice.

My frozen shoulder makes every aspect of living alone challenging, and now it seems to be affecting my other shoulder too. I'm scared and overwhelmed, feeling utterly alone in this ordeal.

I have never had someone be so cruel to me, and I am related to this person. They say they are done with me. I really don't want someone in my life who is like this anyway. But now, they have added to my trauma 100-fold.

I am so sorry this added stress is put upon you. Going through this process is stressful enough. 

You will learn who is there for you and who isn't. Remember that when you heal. You don't need those kind of people in your life anyways so it is not a bad thing they are showing their true colors when the chips are down. Those type of people will use you for their own advantage when you are strong and leave you in the gutter in your time of need. 

As bad as things may seem right now you will survive this and you will develope a new normal. In the end you will be better off and a lot happier. 

You will become stronger. You will be survive anything in your life after this is all over because you would have been to hell and back. Any future situation will be child's play. 

Keep strong and move on. You have support and friends on this site. You will find your new normal. 

Keep the faith. 

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[or...]

I've been where you are, except it wasn't a hotel I ended up in, it was a shelter.  Best thing that happened to me to be honest, looking back.  It didn't seem like the best.  It was at that time I started to be stronger, even with my health issues, and I was lucky to have SS after turning 62.

I had an apartment of my own within a few months and been on my own 10 years or so, found BB, how to taper, and thank God for the things I've learned.  I still have a hard time dealing with my sister's issues, but thank God she got her kids to ask me to move out.  I have a life so much better now, and that may not have happened for me if it would have "seemed" best for me to stay with her.

I can't remember how bad it feels, I'm not in your shoes, but you must have hope that your life can start again now, today, and you are here, in the best place to find folks that can relate, and be here for you, oregonlady :hug:

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[Ja...]

Really sorry to hear about your situation,.as if you really needed something like this while going through withdrawal.I hope you find some peace in your new place to heal,.stress is the exact opposite of what’s needed for this.

 

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[Re...]
4 hours ago, [[o...] said:

I've been where you are, except it wasn't a hotel I ended up in, it was a shelter.  Best thing that happened to me to be honest, looking back.  It didn't seem like the best.  It was at that time I started to be stronger, even with my health issues, and I was lucky to have SS after turning 62.

I had an apartment of my own within a few months and been on my own 10 years or so, found BB, how to taper, and thank God for the things I've learned.  I still have a hard time dealing with my sister's issues, but thank God she got her kids to ask me to move out.  I have a life so much better now, and that may not have happened for me if it would have "seemed" best for me to stay with her.

I can't remember how bad it feels, I'm not in your shoes, but you must have hope that your life can start again now, today, and you are here, in the best place to find folks that can relate, and be here for you, oregonlady :hug:

Thanks, yeah, the hotel was the only option because I had to leave so suddenly. I am glad you had a positive outcome and very sorry you went through this.

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[Re...]
2 hours ago, [[J...] said:

Really sorry to hear about your situation,.as if you really needed something like this while going through withdrawal.I hope you find some peace in your new place to heal,.stress is the exact opposite of what’s needed for this.

I agree totally. Moving while feeling this way is THE WORST. A person can only understand if they have been through it themselves. There is no other way. The relative who kicked me out is on benzos. I don't wish this on anyone, but they are also one step away from it. 

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[Re...]
6 hours ago, [[C...] said:

My heart goes out to you in this horrible situation—betrayal by a relative at your most vulnerable time.

Thank you. It is the most vulnerable. The time when support counts the most.

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[Re...]
8 hours ago, [[L...] said:

Sadly it is impossible for anyone to really understand this if they havent suffered through it themselves. I just had everyone abandon me but not my home taken. I know it is impossible to really consider but just the second hand suffering people get from witnessing and coping with someone suffering this way is too much for most. My mother screamed at me once in month 3 when I was just starting to become coherent. She thought I should stop talking about how I was suffering and just go back to living normally. It isnt an option to just be ok obviously but just hearing about it was too much for her. 

I have spoken with other caretakers about how they feel. I understand it from their perspective. This relative was invited to caretaker groups to engage with others who could help. They denied the participation. They could have had support. They dug their heels into anger instead and blamed me.

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[Cr...]
Posted (edited)

Sorry you had to temporarily give your companion pooch to someone else. While a pet's love can provide comfort, it can also be very stressful trying to care for an animal when struggling just to get through the day.

I believe you mentioned about traveling the country in another thread but I assume you want to find a place to stay that is decently close to your dog until you reco er enough to bring her along with. Any of the relatives that are supportive of you willing to help out after the hotel stay is over?

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[Br...]

@[Re...] I'm so sorry you're in this situation.  It sounds like finding housing is the highest priority right now.  I'm wondering if social services in your area could help you with this? 

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[Re...]
On 31/05/2024 at 12:40, [[C...] said:

Sorry you had to temporarily give your companion pooch to someone else. While a pet's love can provide comfort, it can also be very stressful trying to care for an animal when struggling just to get through the day.

I believe you mentioned about traveling the country in another thread but I assume you want to find a place to stay that is decently close to your dog until you reco er enough to bring her along with. Any of the relatives that are supportive of you willing to help out after the hotel stay is over?

I have one other relative on the other side of the country but that is it. They are dealing with the death of one of our other family members.

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[Re...]
On 31/05/2024 at 15:19, [[B...] said:

@[Re...] I'm so sorry you're in this situation.  It sounds like finding housing is the highest priority right now.  I'm wondering if social services in your area could help you with this? 

I am in the US and there is a major housing crisis. I couldn't rely on social services.

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[Ho...]

@[Re...], this is heartrending. You already feel so alone in this. Cruelty is the right word. Your relative has no conception of your suffering; on the contrary, he/she cIearly thinks you are somehow freeloading or faking it. Or something else completely untrue. Your scenario is the type that has always had me worried because no one but my husband and sister have any idea of my suffering. And they don't really know. As soon as possible I started hiding it from everyone I could. I was afraid they'd do what your family member did—think I was a liar. No one could believe this suffering. Few believe it now unless they've gone through it. 

I know from reading your posts that you are a tough cookie, resourceful and determined. I also know that whatever gifts and strengths you have, this bleeds it all out on the floor. Most days, months, years, nothing seems to work. 

I know you've applied for disability and pray it comes through like an arrow. May you meet hundreds of kind people who hold you up and help you through this in practical ways! If you start a gofundme page (I hope the moderators don't mind my saying this), message me. I'm there.

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[Re...]
Posted (edited)
1 hour ago, [[H...] said:

@[Re...], this is heartrending. You already feel so alone in this. Cruelty is the right word. Your relative has no conception of your suffering; on the contrary, he/she cIearly thinks you are somehow freeloading or faking it. Or something else completely untrue. Your scenario is the type that has always had me worried because no one but my husband and sister have any idea of my suffering. And they don't really know. As soon as possible I started hiding it from everyone I could. I was afraid they'd do what your family member did—think I was a liar. No one could believe this suffering. Few believe it now unless they've gone through it. 

I know from reading your posts that you are a tough cookie, resourceful and determined. I also know that whatever gifts and strengths you have, this bleeds it all out on the floor. Most days, months, years, nothing seems to work. 

I know you've applied for disability and pray it comes through like an arrow. May you meet hundreds of kind people who hold you up and help you through this in practical ways! If you start a gofundme page (I hope the moderators don't mind my saying this), message me. I'm there.

Thanks for your kindness. I've got drug harm experts on my side, so no one doubts me. But caretaker exhaustion is real—I think this is what happened. Mix this with a lack of empathy and here we are. There are no excuses though as the approach was cruel indeed. I'm pushing hard to hit the 18-month mark, and I'm almost at 11 months. My toughest symptoms have not improved. Now, with this new housing crisis in the equation, the path forward seems even more complex.

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[Ma...]
On 31/05/2024 at 17:15, [[R...] said:

Today, I  officially had to leave my home due to akathisia and its aftermath. I never could have imagined this. Despite feeling sick and dealing with a frozen shoulder, I had to assist the movers. To make matters worse, my relative callously remarked that I needed to "grow up" and eagerly anticipated celebrating my departure with champagne. It's hard to comprehend such cruelty. This entire situation feels incredibly unjust and heartbreaking.

Currently, I'm staying in a hotel, but I have to vacate by Saturday, and I haven't yet secured temporary accommodation. Many of my friends are shocked by what's happened and by the behavior of my relative. Unfortunately, some are siding with them, leading me to realize who my true allies are. If someone can't stand up for me, they don't deserve to be called a friend.

I'm struggling to navigate this new reality. Without assistance, I had to send my beloved dog to stay with someone else as I couldn't properly care for her due to my frozen shoulder. It's a far cry from the life I once knew, and I can't help but wonder how I ended up here despite being diligent about following medical advice.

My frozen shoulder makes every aspect of living alone challenging, and now it seems to be affecting my other shoulder too. I'm scared and overwhelmed, feeling utterly alone in this ordeal.

I have never had someone be so cruel to me, and I am related to this person. They say they are done with me. I really don't want someone in my life who is like this anyway. But now, they have added to my trauma 100-fold.

I’m sorry that you’re going through this, it sounds like such a difficult situation. 

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[Ti...]

I almost went to a hotel on Monday, but my husband left instead. I feel the hole in your heart right now and I’m so very sorry. I don’t know why we have to suffer so much for some more yachts and vacation houses, bunkers or whatever.

You’ll always be welcome in my home if I ever have one again. My door is open now as temporary as it is. My theory is that some of us that suffer so much and for so long don’t have support and/or are being covertly abused. 

Carry on and stay strong. You can get through this. I had akathisia for 2.5 years and am still here to tell the tale. We are built for survival and you are a survivor. Much love to you, Rebecca. 

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[Re...]
13 hours ago, [[T...] said:

I almost went to a hotel on Monday, but my husband left instead. I feel the hole in your heart right now and I’m so very sorry. I don’t know why we have to suffer so much for some more yachts and vacation houses, bunkers or whatever.

You’ll always be welcome in my home if I ever have one again. My door is open now as temporary as it is. My theory is that some of us that suffer so much and for so long don’t have support and/or are being covertly abused. 

Carry on and stay strong. You can get through this. I had akathisia for 2.5 years and am still here to tell the tale. We are built for survival and you are a survivor. Much love to you, Rebecca. 

@[Ti...]I am so sorry you are also going through this. I think the details are too intense for people to receive and unbelievable to people outside of this looking in. It's like we always have to prove we are not crazy and that this is real. My symptoms have been mainly physical. And my relative watched me go through severe pacing akathisia and protected me through that. But I guess reached their breaking point. Is your akathisia gone? Much love back to you. I am here for you. We must cross this finish line.

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[Re...]
21 hours ago, [[M...] said:

I’m sorry that you’re going through this, it sounds like such a difficult situation. 

Thank you, it's beyond. Honestly, having a frozen shoulder is one of the worst parts because it makes it very hard to live independently. It is now affecting my left shoulder as well. I have had it since last November and its usually resolves on average in six months so this is longer due to the underlying drug injury.

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[Ma...]
1 hour ago, [[R...] said:

Thank you, it's beyond. Honestly, having a frozen shoulder is one of the worst parts because it makes it very hard to live independently. It is now affecting my left shoulder as well. I have had it since last November and its usually resolves on average in six months so this is longer due to the underlying drug injury.

I can’t imagine what you’re going through. I’m suffering right now from some sort of SSRI issue but can at least move around, I really hope your situation improves 

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[Ti...]
15 hours ago, [[R...] said:

@[Ti...]I am so sorry you are also going through this. I think the details are too intense for people to receive and unbelievable to people outside of this looking in. It's like we always have to prove we are not crazy and that this is real. My symptoms have been mainly physical. And my relative watched me go through severe pacing akathisia and protected me through that. But I guess reached their breaking point. Is your akathisia gone? Much love back to you. I am here for you. We must cross this finish line.

Yes, it’s gone. Sometimes it surfaces from certain chemicals, but I can usually ward it off with a cup of coffee - it’s the lack of dopamine for me. And I breathe through it and just calm my system as much as possible. I’m becoming very in tune with my body because it’s always screaming at me. 
 

I don’t know why it’s so hard for people to understand what we are going through. I’ve offered counseling and getting them in these communities and not one taker. They won’t be bothered. Just don’t want to hear anything about it. I think they think are weak or something or making it up - I don’t know. We’ve got a serious empathy deficit in the world right now. Thank you for the kind words and hope today isn’t too rough on you. 

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[Ti...]
On 31/05/2024 at 13:15, [[R...] said:

I agree totally. Moving while feeling this way is THE WORST. A person can only understand if they have been through it themselves. There is no other way. The relative who kicked me out is on benzos. I don't wish this on anyone, but they are also one step away from it. 

This explains a lot. I seem to have gotten some of the worst judgment from people currently on psych meds. They are afraid that this could be them someday, so they villianize us. Fear can make people cruel. My theory anyway. 

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[Re...]
2 hours ago, [[T...] said:

Yes, it’s gone. Sometimes it surfaces from certain chemicals, but I can usually ward it off with a cup of coffee - it’s the lack of dopamine for me. And I breathe through it and just calm my system as much as possible. I’m becoming very in tune with my body because it’s always screaming at me. 
 

I don’t know why it’s so hard for people to understand what we are going through. I’ve offered counseling and getting them in these communities and not one taker. They won’t be bothered. Just don’t want to hear anything about it. I think they think are weak or something or making it up - I don’t know. We’ve got a serious empathy deficit in the world right now. Thank you for the kind words and hope today isn’t too rough on you. 

I extended numerous invitations to this relative to attend complimentary meetings with caretaker groups, but unfortunately, they declined each one. These groups offered a valuable opportunity for them to connect with others facing similar challenges, providing a platform for mutual support and understanding. While you can lead a horse to water, you can't make it drink. I had other friends who were incredibly receptive to information—I would send them articles and videos, and they would eagerly engage with them. This relative was no exception; they were just as informed and engaged as my other friends. It's just a reality that some people aren't able to stay committed for the long haul, I suppose.

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[Bu...]

Hi @[Re...],

I just wanted to say "hello" again and let you know that I'm thinking of you and praying for you.  How's' today going?

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