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Are toxic nights normal in healing???


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[Rh...]

I cannot be the only one that has toxic nights.  I don’t know how else to describe them other than when I sleep I actually feel physically sick.  My brain feels like it has poison running through it, I have zaps that are painful, headaches, eye pain, ear issues, nausea, dizziness and sweating.  All of this happens at night.  
 

I also have the common early morning awakenings in terror and anxiety which are lovely as well. 
 

Does the brain detoxify and try to heal more in the nights?  I just don’t understand what happens at night and why I feel worse?!  I’m off everything now and came off my AD 10 months ago! 

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[Le...]

i think there are lots of changes as your brain tries to sleep. I think lots of people experience this. 

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[Rh...]

Not that I ever want people to go through this or experience it, but it does bring me solace to know I’m not alone…

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[jo...]

I got this quite a lot in acute. It's improved a lot for the most part. Very common I think.

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[Cr...]
Posted (edited)
23 minutes ago, [[R...] said:

Not that I ever want people to go through this or experience it, but it does bring me solace to know I’m not alone…

Oh you are definitely not alone. Between feeling like I had poison running through my body when trying to sleep I also experienced horrible nightmares that were very vivid. After all that I would wake up early with morning anxiety and nausea and have to get moving to get rid of restlessness.

When in a wave I learned never to nap. They always felt toxic and had me feeling far worse (and depressed) when I woke up.

What you are experiencing is perfectly normal for people tapering and off benzos and recovering.

Edited by [Cr...]
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[Cr...]

Since I am healed I currently don't but I had very strange mental symptoms involving reality while recovering. I remember a few nights where it felt like I was back in the past by 10 or 15 years. It was hard to explain but the world around me 'felt' like it did when I was a kid and teen. Other times every thing just felt like a big dream and nothing was real.

Just remember that those who sre losing touch with reality don't know that they are losing touch with reality. The fact that you can identify that these mental feelings are not normal shows that you are very much in touch with reality. 

Thinking you hear the house talking to you is far different than believing the house is talking to you.

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[Le...]
6 minutes ago, [[C...] said:

Since I am healed I currently don't but I had very strange mental symptoms involving reality while recovering. I remember a few nights where it felt like I was back in the past by 10 or 15 years. It was hard to explain but the world around me 'felt' like it did when I was a kid and teen. Other times every thing just felt like a big dream and nothing was real.

Just remember that those who sre losing touch with reality don't know that they are losing touch with reality. The fact that you can identify that these mental feelings are not normal shows that you are very much in touch with reality. 

Thinking you hear the house talking to you is far different than believing the house is talking to you.

some reassurance for me here. i often feel like i am just floating through a dream life still. usually whole days and gone the next but no real pattern i can see to it. 

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[Ja...]

Strangely after a better sleep I feel like crap waking up,.I know anti d withdrawal is no walk in the park,I was messed up for months after anti d withdrawal,it affects your sleep for a good while with the zaps,headaches etc,.it does stop eventually though

it sounds like your still withdrawing/recoverying from it pal,

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[Mu...]

Each night I dreaded going to bed. The fear, the racing mind was torture . I would try and make peace with God believing that surly I will die tonight. And when I thought sleep would come little zaps or specks of white light would appear. I would wake each morning with fear and worry, also telling myself this will go away in a couple of hours. my ears would hurt at night and about 3 months of eye pain. Hang in the there buddy , it gets better.

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[gr...]

I am on day 5 of no sleep and it has been horrid. Not tired al all and restless leg is crazy. But am trying to remain positive that sleep will come with time. 

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[Rh...]
22 hours ago, [[M...] said:

Each night I dreaded going to bed. The fear, the racing mind was torture . I would try and make peace with God believing that surly I will die tonight. And when I thought sleep would come little zaps or specks of white light would appear. I would wake each morning with fear and worry, also telling myself this will go away in a couple of hours. my ears would hurt at night and about 3 months of eye pain. Hang in the there buddy , it gets better.

This is what I do now too…I just make peace and tell the Lord that if it’s my time to go and I die then I’m good with it…at least then the suffering would end.

Yeah, it’s pretty rough, but I’m hanging in there!

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[Rh...]
16 hours ago, [[g...] said:

I am on day 5 of no sleep and it has been horrid. Not tired al all and restless leg is crazy. But am trying to remain positive that sleep will come with time. 

It will!  I recall early on in WD I wasn’t sleeping at all for weeks…then it slowly improved but now it’s morphed into weird toxic sleep, but at least it’s sleep!

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[Rh...]
23 hours ago, [[J...] said:

Strangely after a better sleep I feel like crap waking up,.I know anti d withdrawal is no walk in the park,I was messed up for months after anti d withdrawal,it affects your sleep for a good while with the zaps,headaches etc,.it does stop eventually though

it sounds like your still withdrawing/recoverying from it pal,

I came off my benzo 4 years ago but at the time I had the antidepressant on board so sleep wasn’t too badly affected…now that I’m off it all it’s craziness, but your right, I’ll heal in time! Thank you!

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[Le...]

was 1.5 years when I slept 1 hr straight the first time. i am recovering.  if you are doing better then endure. it will end. 

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[jo...]
Just now, [[L...] said:

was 1.5 years when I slept 1 hr straight the first time. i am recovering.  if you are doing better then endure. it will end. 

Do you mean you went 1.5 years in less than 1 hour?

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[Le...]

i mean the first time i managed a complete hour of sleep. 

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[Rh...]
3 minutes ago, [[L...] said:

was 1.5 years when I slept 1 hr straight the first time. i am recovering.  if you are doing better then endure. it will end. 

Oh I’m doing better and I have no choice to endure, I refuse to ever take another psych med again.

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[Le...]
Posted (edited)

yea total nonsense they are. i have an interesting story about a bail officer calling me. a friend from childhood hit his mom apparently and ended up in jail. found out a few months ago from his mom he had become an alcoholic and a doc had given him 1mg morning and night of klonopin from a doc to help recover. for three months then CTed him. I didnt want to get into the whole thing cause it sounds like a conspiracy if you havent experienced it and the bail officer just wanted a reference about behaviour when he was young. i did mention that she should really read up on what happened to people prescribed benzos too long and then withdrawn. he is still in jail and recovering from this after going through the courts. 

 

i left out some details and am am uncertain of what really went on but thats the gist. 

Edited by [Le...]
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[jo...]
Posted (edited)

When I have a toxic night, like last night for eg. I can physically feel the cortisol or adrenaline, whatever it is, moving through my body. It seems to start in my stomach and the move out then my heart starts racing. Horrible

Edited by [jo...]
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[En...]
On 28/05/2024 at 11:24, [[R...] said:

I cannot be the only one that has toxic nights.  I don’t know how else to describe them other than when I sleep I actually feel physically sick.  My brain feels like it has poison running through it, I have zaps that are painful, headaches, eye pain, ear issues, nausea, dizziness and sweating.  All of this happens at night.  
 

I also have the common early morning awakenings in terror and anxiety which are lovely as well. 
 

Does the brain detoxify and try to heal more in the nights?  I just don’t understand what happens at night and why I feel worse?!  I’m off everything now and came off my AD 10 months ago! 

When in acute withdrawal I feel I am floating and vibrating slowly. When in a dream and wake up I feel that the most. Then in the morning yes the extreme anxiety and nausea. I feel all hot and get headaches and I am very shaky. 

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[jo...]
23 minutes ago, [[L...] said:

i mean the first time i managed a complete hour of sleep. 

how long are you off and how is your sleep now?

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[Le...]

2yr 5 mo and 6 hrs most nights with some 8s and a few 4s. 

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[jo...]
Just now, [[L...] said:

2yr 5 mo and 6 hrs most nights with some 8s and a few 4s. 

Glad to hear your doing better(y) I'd love 8hrs! Best I've had so far is a run of 6 hours. On 1 1/2 at the minute. All over the place.

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[Le...]

my first 8 hrs was only a month or so ago. i dont think i slept that long in the decade before all this mess. 

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