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Withdrawal habits


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I have been having a difficult withdrawal this taper. I am getting to the smaller doses and every cut is getting harder. I bought a scale and will do a slower taper to the end. 10% cuts I will try. I will let me brain heal for a couple weeks and pause my taper. I have been doing ok and not going backwards. I worry about kindling my brain and making this process worse. I am famous for being my own worse enemy sometimes. I also want to get through this and not prolong it.

I would like to ask what do people do to cope with withdrawal. How do you deal with anxiety or body pain? 

I have this habit of watching one TV sitcom on Prime TV. I will binge watch it until I am out of deep withdrawal. It is annoying sometimes because I end up watching the same episodes many times. I watched The Big Bang Theory for a couple months straight. Watched ever episode at least 10 times. I dont know why I just couldn't watch anything else. Now I am sick of that show so I switched to Everbody Loves Raymond. It is getting to the point I am knowing all the episodes on  that as well now. Thank god I am almost done my taper so i can watch normal TV. I read people binge watch TV shows for comfort during anxiety times. 

In the mornings before I get out of bed I will lay there and talk to myself. I will tell myself today is going to be a good day if I am feeling good. If I am not feeling good I tell myself this is only temporary and to have the strength to go on. Mornings are the toughest part of the day some days so I reaffirm myself and it does help. 

I will immerse myself into housework like vacuuming and doing the dishes and cleaning up after pets. It is a distraction for me even though I dont really feel like doing anything. I will also go outside for an hour long walk when I am feeling better. In deep withdrawal going outside is difficult and exercise makes my symptoms worse. 

When in deep withdrawal I find it difficult to be around people. I isolate myself so I can heal. Anxiety makes it difficult to be around people. I find when someone comes over to visit I am anxious. That is not who I normally am I like to see people so I know it is the withdrawal doing this. Even phone calls and text messages make me anxious. This drug does very strange things to you and has the reverse effects of what you are. That's why I always tell myself it is not me it is the drug. You are not yourself on this drug. You are the mirror image of who you really are. Keep the strength and get off this drug and become yourself again. 

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Really empathise with you. I could have written that post myself. I went through this for 6 weeks when I was forced to drop from 5mg to 2.5mg valium in one week and it was grim but I hung in there and have managed to stabilise and will go down slowly to zero.  The big change was in my mental state, where the terror eased off and I started to feel more hopeful. That window gave me a big lift even though my sleep has got worse and many of my symptoms are the same. At the moment I can't deal with people outside my family, and just focus on being more useful around the home. Learning chess has helped enormously in giving me something to do and exercise my struggling brain. I'm sure you'll find your way through. It will get better.

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