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loosing a friend during w/d


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Dear BB, i had a close friend that I talked to on the phone only... She helped me thru w/d.. She is very busy and has to deal with her own problems at home... I understand that part... What I do not understand is why the ones you love leave you when you need them the most.

 

I wish I could get over the fact that she cannot talk to me now.. So much pain and suffering we all have to be faced with.. Circumstances in life we cannot deal with and have too... Gosh BB all that is still suffering today know that my heart is with you right now...

 

So much more to face with this journey... CAN I KEEP GOING?  I HAVE TOO. Where do you get your strength BB...All of you..

I read and you keep going... With family, Without family. Do we all have inner strength?  Gosh BB I never knew what benzo withdrawal was? Then I found you... The grace of god led me to you... I sound so emotional.. Sorry..

 

I guess I just need more encourgement at this time... I hope that is okay..

 

Wishing the pain for you, and me will stop one day....

 

Luv, Mishi

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Dear Mishi,

Really sorry about your friend.  Sometimes I think they get as scared of what we are going thru and its just plain tuff on them with the rest of the stuff in their life.  I think its our increased neediness during withdrwal that can sometimes push them out.  its just a fact of life that not all of us are cut out to handle that next higher level of stress.  Plus I am just now learning that unless you have been thru w/d you simply have no clue of what its like. As good as my wife is its clear my withdrwal process and needs tax and stress her out.

 

People will always fail us at some time and that is why we must really place our trust in the Lord.  The Lord is my co-pilot, espicially thru tis withdrawl. Hang in there you have also found this Forum!

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Dear Mishi,

Really sorry about your friend.  Sometimes I think they get as scared of what we are going thru and its just plain tuff on them with the rest of the stuff in their life.  I think its our increased neediness during withdrwal that can sometimes push them out.  its just a fact of life that not all of us are cut out to handle that next higher level of stress.  Plus I am just now learning that unless you have been thru w/d you simply have no clue of what its like. As good as my wife is its clear my withdrwal process and needs tax and stress her out.

 

People will always fail us at some time and that is why we must really place our trust in the Lord.  The Lord is my co-pilot, espicially thru tis withdrawl. Hang in there you have also found this Forum!

[/quote

 

Thank you david for your reply.  My friend went thru benzo withdrawal... She is from here on bb...She is having a tough time with here husband right now who is suffering from w/d It is hard on her...I hope i did not push her out.. That is the way I feel right now. She got me thru rough times and promised she would be here till the end... 

 

I hope when she is up to it one day she will call me back... I am so sad and lonely right now...Thank you for your support.. Wishing you happiness and peace the rest of your journey...  Hope to hear from you again.

 

Luv, Mishi

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Hi Mishi

Im so sorry about your friend, sometimes we think they have let us down, when really they are just a bit too busy themselves.  I didnt hear from a friend of mine for 6 months but when I did get round to seeing her again she was her usual self, just busy with her children and grandchildren. We feel very isolated and lonely when we are in w/d I know I dont really feel like Im part of the human race at the moment, just remember when this is over with we can start living again. It seems to go on forever but it will pass. 

Luv Pauline  :smitten:

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Hi Mishi,

I had some friends that abandoned me also thru this . Its hard on them as they dont know what to do for you and sometimes its just a toll on them listenng to our problems , when Im sure they have so much of their own. I now know that I have to keep information to myself. Not sharing is hard , but I have to know the person well to share. I have a neighbor who is my friend now , he is a Dr. in research for HIV. He knows what Im going through and is so kind to me . I went to a party yesterday and he doesnt even offer me alcohol. I appreciate that as I always have to say to people Im taking a cold medicine or whatever and cant mix it with a drink. I see people think Im weird when I dont drink alcohol with them. I just cant , even before this all happened. It makes me stupid and tired :) Anyway  just be patient with  the friends you do have and cherish the times you have with them. The other's will come around in time. You'll see.

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Dear Mishi,

I have just phoned a friend too. She wants to see me when I had a window like I did on Sunday...she was one of my dearest friends....Sometimes she takes diazepam, Temezepam I have told her to stop taking this as she has arealy bad back. I told her they are so addictive....

Just Keep Hanging In There dont got to quickly if possible.....Because I had this window even though for just 2 hours my hsuband thinks like this it could take take not long for me to get better. so do I sometimes when it does'nt work like this.....But I continue to pray for yourself and Coleen have faith.Hugs and Love Tess

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Pauline I think you put what many of feel very well, "somtimes we just don't feel like we are part of the human race" (even though we are)

 

Hang in ther NYCLADY more prayers on the way..

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Dear Mishi,

Really sorry about your friend.  Sometimes I think they get as scared of what we are going thru and its just plain tuff on them with the rest of the stuff in their life.  I think its our increased neediness during withdrwal that can sometimes push them out.  its just a fact of life that not all of us are cut out to handle that next higher level of stress.  Plus I am just now learning that unless you have been thru w/d you simply have no clue of what its like. As good as my wife is its clear my withdrwal process and needs tax and stress her out.

 

People will always fail us at some time and that is why we must really place our trust in the Lord.  The Lord is my co-pilot, espicially thru tis withdrawl. Hang in there you have also found this Forum!

 

Dear David, Thank you for your sweet message.. I Hope you are good in your life right now... I may have been to pushy with my friend right now.. It was not all about me..  We are all suffering and sometimes we have to think about there feelings as well.  I love your saying right now about the co-pilot..  I hope you hang in there also..

Take care and be well.  Mishi

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Hi Mishi

Im so sorry about your friend, sometimes we think they have let us down, when really they are just a bit too busy themselves.  I didnt hear from a friend of mine for 6 months but when I did get round to seeing her again she was her usual self, just busy with her children and grandchildren. We feel very isolated and lonely when we are in w/d I know I dont really feel like Im part of the human race at the moment, just remember when this is over with we can start living again. It seems to go on forever but it will pass. 

Luv Pauline  :smitten:

 

Thank you pauline for your sweet message.. People do have there lives going on also..  I am realizing the hard way today, that I have to worry about other peoples needs also.. Withdrawal is hard on everyone..  Pauline did you know that my real name also is pauline.. That is too funny.. Pauline,  I hope you are feeling well in your recovery. I hope life is treating you well.

 

Hoping you are not in pain anymore... Luv, Mishi

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Hi Mishi,

I had some friends that abandoned me also thru this . Its hard on them as they dont know what to do for you and sometimes its just a toll on them listenng to our problems , when Im sure they have so much of their own. I now know that I have to keep information to myself. Not sharing is hard , but I have to know the person well to share. I have a neighbor who is my friend now , he is a Dr. in research for HIV. He knows what Im going through and is so kind to me . I went to a party yesterday and he doesnt even offer me alcohol. I appreciate that as I always have to say to people Im taking a cold medicine or whatever and cant mix it with a drink. I see people think Im weird when I dont drink alcohol with them. I just cant , even before this all happened. It makes me stupid and tired :) Anyway  just be patient with  the friends you do have and cherish the times you have with them. The other's will come around in time. You'll see.

 

Hi, Honeym love your hat..  I am sorry that some of your friends abondoned you. You are not weird that you do not drink alcohol.. You are a good person..You are right.. It is hard for some people to realate on the outside to this problem...  I have to consider that also.. I know eventually everyone will come back.. Anytime you want to share anything that bothers you.. I will be here for you... Hope you are well in your recovery.. All of the best.. Luv, Mishi

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[60...]

If you lose a friend, there are plenty others out there and after this is over, you can also make new memories.

 

 

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If you lose a friend, there are plenty others out there and after this is over, you can also make new memories.

 

 

 

Hey my buddy. How are you feeling.. Sorry I did not get back to you sooner... Sigma I just realized that I may have pushed my friend away.. Not on purpose... I did not realize that she has alot to deal with also.. We want to keep friends around now when we feel this way, but also I have to keep in mind about there feelings as well. I hope that makes sense.  Sigma you are a good buddy to me and I am grateful for that...

 

I hope I can help you also in any way that I can...  Thank you for your concern and care... I care about you too.

 

Be Well, Luv, Mishi

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You definitely find out who your real friends are when going through any kind of illness. So far none of mine have abandoned me. They seem to understand what is going on and I don't act much different anyway. I am a born again Christian and get all my healing and strength from the Lord.
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Mishi,

It sounds like your friend has to choose between a friend and her husband right now.  And thats really no choice at all, she has to choose her husband.  If she is like my wife she is probably physically and emotionally at her limit right now.  Give her space and time meanwhile you have us at BB.  Try to be at peace in the Lord and share the load with him.

David

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Hi Mishi, this withdrawal from benzos is hard on everyone. I get so much reassurance just from the belief throughout BB that it  will pass with time and the effects of the benzos can be healed. I hope that is also going to be true of relationships even sometimes when they feel to have gone. There are times when people just have too much on.

 

You can keep going and this will come out alright.  :)

 

Take care

Tim

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Hi Mishi (Pauline)

Its nice to meet another Pauline, I hope you are doing well, Ive just been titrating and am just starting to feel it, Im so used to it now but hate it. I am really low now in dose , but having to go sloooow.

My friends havent ever understood how this w/d makes me feel, so I try not to say too much about it, but I have been stuck on V for so long I suppose they think I should be over it now, one friend tries to understand, but it is an effort for me to say I will go out, at the moment I can go for a lunch and the cinema, but she woud love to go out for a drink like we used to and a little dance, 3 years ago I loved to go clubbing occasionally (at the old granny disco lol) but now I get out of breath and hot flushes and cant drink, (party pooper) these pills have changed my personality but hopefully it wont be too long before I can go out and have some fun. Sometimes I have to make myself go out just so I dont lose my friends, I never thought I would feel like that. Also my hubby is fed up of me not wanting to go to the pub and have a drink, every week he says 'have a drink' and I just say 'I cant yet'. But he still says it the following week.  >:( (thats men)

Im sure we will get well one day and this will all have been a nightmare.

Luv Pauline  :smitten:

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Dear Mishi,

Really sorry about your friend.  Sometimes I think they get as scared of what we are going thru and its just plain tuff on them with the rest of the stuff in their life.  I think its our increased neediness during withdrwal that can sometimes push them out.  its just a fact of life that not all of us are cut out to handle that next higher level of stress.  Plus I am just now learning that unless you have been thru w/d you simply have no clue of what its like. As good as my wife is its clear my withdrwal process and needs tax and stress her out.

 

People will always fail us at some time and that is why we must really place our trust in the Lord.  The Lord is my co-pilot, espicially thru tis withdrawl. Hang in there you have also found this Forum!

[/quote

 

Thank you david for your reply.  My friend went thru benzo withdrawal... She is from here on bb...She is having a tough time with here husband right now who is suffering from w/d It is hard on her...I hope i did not push her out.. That is the way I feel right now. She got me thru rough times and promised she would be here till the end... 

 

I hope when she is up to it one day she will call me back... I am so sad and lonely right now...Thank you for your support.. Wishing you happiness and peace the rest of your journey...  Hope to hear from you again.

 

Luv, Mishi

Mishi,

It sounds like your friend has to choose between a friend and her husband right now.  And thats really no choice at all, she has to choose her husband.  If she is like my wife she is probably physically and emotionally at her limit right now.  Give her space and time meanwhile you have us at BB.  Try to be at peace in the Lord and share the load with him.

David

 

Thank god I have you here david and bb... This is to hard... Not only it is my friend now it is my whole family... I am not even kidding you.. I have to push and it gets hard..I know about how you feel about your wife... My hubby will not come near me and my kids walk away..  May you be in peace as well...  All the best to you... Luv, Mishi

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Thanks Mishi , I love hats . I hope you will also call on me if you need to vent. Im around.

:angel:

Honey M

 

Honey M thank you so much.. I would love to vent.. Anytime you want  to please let me know... I appreciate it very much.

Be Well and happy...

 

Luv, Mishi

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I just wish my grown daughters would understand it. Although they know that at times I don't feek all that great, one of them in particular tells me to just take an extra pill for the day if I have to. What she doesn't understand is I have to stick to a schedule to stay in a good and stable condition. What my daughters don't understand is they could very well be victims to this next. Anxiety problems run in my family and usually get us in our late 20' to early 30's. Some even earlier. Most of my friends are born again Christians and have not abandoned me but instead pray for me and with me. I feel bad for anyone who loses a friend over a temporary illness. Just know that those friends who abandon you will have their day when they are in a similar situation and everyone abandons them.
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