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16 days and counting...till I JUMP!


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Schatje here!  :)

 

Well, just to keep things a bit positive, yesterday I had a GREAT day.  I have found these past few cuts of Diazepam pretty tough as I get closer to the end....so it was nice to have a pretty big break and even go to a friend's party for her son's 2nd birthday (15 kids under the age of 7 running around...and I was fine...lol).  I have also been sleeping better most nights after having a run-in w/ insomnia.  But my anxiety can come on out of nowhere, as well as full blown panic attacks.  I have been very careful to not let myself become too agoraphobic.  I get out every day - even if it's just in my yard or to sit on the front porch.  I manage to go to the mall, parties, baby showers, etc...I sometimes don't know HOW I do it, but 9 times out of 10 it goes okay (although it most often feels like "work"). 

 

So it's that silly question that I've probably asked quite a few times on here, but the anxious side of me can't let it go.  For those of you who tapered off of your Benzo...did it get worse when you jumped?  OR, was it still rough but slowly got better?  Also, I read "Benzo Free" people saying that they hit the 2nd month or the 3rd month and got "slammed".  Was it AS BAD as tapering, or did it just feel rough b/c you had a window and then get hit w/ a wave out of no where?  This is when I wish I could sit in a room full of US and talk it out.  I have so many questions/thoughts/fears running through my brain.  I am so tired of the nausea - it alone exhausts me...and I start to question when I'll eat normally again? 

 

Any feedback would be MUCH appreciated (w/out totally frightening me...lol...I'm slightly vulnerable right now).  :)

 

Thanks to you all...hopefully I won't ask all of these questions again...I just need that "peace of mind" feeling right now.

 

BIG HUGS,

Schatje

 

P.S.  If all goes as planned...I will be Benzo free on July 19th

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Schatje,

 

You sound so upbeat today, and that is a wonderful sign of things to come! I didn't taper, so I can't help with your questions. I just wanted to tell you that you're doing great!

 

Nicole :)

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Im glad your having a big break that's wonderful. I actually focuswason the fact I was excited that I was excited about my last dose so I had a little anxiety about the jump off. My mistake was in not preparing myself  for the period of time after jumping off the last dose. I experienced a 3 week window 2 weeks after taking my last dose and then the symptoms started to hit me and now im in my 3 rd month and like others who I have talked to this has been the roughest month to date. I don't want to discourage in anyway but rather tell you to be aware that the healing process will take sometime where you will experience windows and waves. I did not do this and in fact I never joined this forum until a month ago because I was going crazy about still having symptoms two months out. I hope I have not frightened you and definetly understand being vulnerable but I wish I had prepared my mind early on in the process for what could come rather than thinking I was completely healed after a couple weeks. You are doing a great job and enjoy your windows and remember your on your way to fully healing when you experience a wave. Keep us posted.
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Schatje here!  :)

 

Well, just to keep things a bit positive, yesterday I had a GREAT day.  I have found these past few cuts of Diazepam pretty tough as I get closer to the end....so it was nice to have a pretty big break and even go to a friend's party for her son's 2nd birthday (15 kids under the age of 7 running around...and I was fine...lol).  I have also been sleeping better most nights after having a run-in w/ insomnia.  But my anxiety can come on out of nowhere, as well as full blown panic attacks.  I have been very careful to not let myself become too agoraphobic.  I get out every day - even if it's just in my yard or to sit on the front porch.  I manage to go to the mall, parties, baby showers, etc...I sometimes don't know HOW I do it, but 9 times out of 10 it goes okay (although it most often feels like "work"). 

 

So it's that silly question that I've probably asked quite a few times on here, but the anxious side of me can't let it go.  For those of you who tapered off of your Benzo...did it get worse when you jumped?  OR, was it still rough but slowly got better?  Also, I read "Benzo Free" people saying that they hit the 2nd month or the 3rd month and got "slammed".  Was it AS BAD as tapering, or did it just feel rough b/c you had a window and then get hit w/ a wave out of no where?  This is when I wish I could sit in a room full of US and talk it out.  I have so many questions/thoughts/fears running through my brain.  I am so tired of the nausea - it alone exhausts me...and I start to question when I'll eat normally again? 

 

Any feedback would be MUCH appreciated (w/out totally frightening me...lol...I'm slightly vulnerable right now).  :)

 

Thanks to you all...hopefully I won't ask all of these questions again...I just need that "peace of mind" feeling right now.

 

BIG HUGS,

Schatje

 

P.S.  If all goes as planned...I will be Benzo free on July 19th

 

Hi, Schatje.

 

It's both exciting and scary to be approaching the end of a taper.  Congratulations on being so close.  :clap:

 

I didn't feel better after I quit my benzo - I think subconsciously I thought I would - but I didn't feel worse, either.  It was just "same old, same old" for a number of weeks and then never that bad again.  ;)

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I can't comment on whether w/d symptoms will be bad for you once you are off benzos because I still have 6.85 mgs. to go.  As far as the nausea is concerned it is my worse w/d symptom (so far) and is with me all the time. It cripples my life because if I am on the couch just getting up and walking around the house triggers it. I also have it most of the time on the couch.  Some of the things that help lessen the nausea for me are fresh basil. I just cut it up into small pieces and put it in chicken broth. I also chew on small pieces of crystallized ginger. That helps both nausea and intestinal cramping and bloating. I have purchased a pair of pressure bands for my wrists. Ask your pharmacist about them. They will also help relieve the nausea and cost around $10.00 (well worth the money).

 

I hope this helps. I can really relate to what you are going through with the nausea because I'm right there with you regarding this w/d symptom.

 

Nancy

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Schatje,

 

I am glad you started this thread.  I am very close to being done from a Klonopin taper.  I am at .03mg and plan to take it all the way down to zero with small daily reductions.  I also thought that when you were done with a taper that you would just start to feel better.  I have since learned that is rarely the case.  But, I have polled a lot of people who tapered here.  A good number of people told me that the taper itself was worse than the "acute" phase.  Remember that only a certain percentage of people get what is called protracted withdrawal.  The other thing that I keep reminding myself is that the people we see here are mostly here because they are still suffering and need support.  Most people take off when they feel better. 

 

That all being said, I am really scared of that month 3-4  slump that you mentioned.  I just take some consolation that at least at that point my kids will be in school.  Keep in touch, I would love to hear how you are doing.  If all goes well my first benzo free day will be July 15th, also my daughter's 5th birthday.

 

Best of luck to you!

Tamzo

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Hi Schatje,

 

As you know you and I are very close in our tapers--I am in fact jumping off today.  I will be taking my final dose tonight before bed and that's it--Independence!  I have many mixed feelings today and plan on posting about it as well.

 

I hear you as far as the nausea problem.  It reached a peak for me at 2 mg. and continued until I reached about 1 mg.  What really helped a lot was sipping on cool sparkling mineral water.  Ginger ale helped too but I was leery of the sugar, so I didn't drink it for too long.  Chicken noodle soup and salted crackers were the only actual foods I could eat when the nausea was at its worst.  At 0.5 mg., this symptom has improved for me a lot; I hope it does for you too.

 

My biggest problem now is insomnia.  I didn't know it was possible to sleep 2-3 hours a night for weeks and not be totally out of your mind.  This is driving me pretty crazy though and I'm VERY worried over how/when this will improve because I feel this is the biggest obstacle to my recovery.  If I could get just one decent night's sleep it would relieve my other symptoms.  I've never experienced this level of insomnia in my life--it's beyond frustrating.  I can only hope that this is the worst of it and things will get better.

 

All the best to you and congratulations on being almost at the finish line!

 

Mal

 

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Schatje here!  :)

 

Well, just to keep things a bit positive, yesterday I had a GREAT day.  I have found these past few cuts of Diazepam pretty tough as I get closer to the end....so it was nice to have a pretty big break and even go to a friend's party for her son's 2nd birthday (15 kids under the age of 7 running around...and I was fine...lol).  I have also been sleeping better most nights after having a run-in w/ insomnia.  But my anxiety can come on out of nowhere, as well as full blown panic attacks.  I have been very careful to not let myself become too agoraphobic.  I get out every day - even if it's just in my yard or to sit on the front porch.  I manage to go to the mall, parties, baby showers, etc...I sometimes don't know HOW I do it, but 9 times out of 10 it goes okay (although it most often feels like "work"). 

 

So it's that silly question that I've probably asked quite a few times on here, but the anxious side of me can't let it go.  For those of you who tapered off of your Benzo...did it get worse when you jumped?  OR, was it still rough but slowly got better?  Also, I read "Benzo Free" people saying that they hit the 2nd month or the 3rd month and got "slammed".  Was it AS BAD as tapering, or did it just feel rough b/c you had a window and then get hit w/ a wave out of no where?  This is when I wish I could sit in a room full of US and talk it out.  I have so many questions/thoughts/fears running through my brain.  I am so tired of the nausea - it alone exhausts me...and I start to question when I'll eat normally again? 

 

Any feedback would be MUCH appreciated (w/out totally frightening me...lol...I'm slightly vulnerable right now).  :)

 

Thanks to you all...hopefully I won't ask all of these questions again...I just need that "peace of mind" feeling right now.

 

BIG HUGS,

Schatje

 

P.S.  If all goes as planned...I will be Benzo free on July 19th

 

Good luck Schatje,  As I would say lot's of good health and happiness to you and your family.

Luv, Mishi

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Hi Schatje -

 

I am ending my taper after TWO LONG YEARS, on August 8th. I went

extremely slow so I could work and function half-way decently.

 

I am worried, too, about the fall-out of coming of this darn stuff.

This taper is practically a life-style for me now, although I sure

won't miss it. I am going really, really low in dose in an effort

to try and avoid that acute phase. I simply don't have a life

where I can be bombarded with symptoms 2-3 months from now

or when I officially stop the taper. I know I can't control this,

but I am hoping to avoid it by having gone so slow....time will

tell.

 

I would like to pat us both on the back for having gotten this

far, ya know? We did darn good! I have been having a revving

up of symptoms lately---especially anxiety and depression....and I

think it is the acute w/d already kicking in, because I haven't

had it this bad at any time during the taper.

 

Hopefully we will get thru it half-way decently and be on

our way to being whole again. I don't know about you, but

I sure am looking forward to that!

 

Best of luck....please keep me posted as to how you

are doing...I'll be right behind you in August.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Schatje here!  :)

 

Well, just to keep things a bit positive, yesterday I had a GREAT day.  I have found these past few cuts of Diazepam pretty tough as I get closer to the end....so it was nice to have a pretty big break and even go to a friend's party for her son's 2nd birthday (15 kids under the age of 7 running around...and I was fine...lol).  I have also been sleeping better most nights after having a run-in w/ insomnia.  But my anxiety can come on out of nowhere, as well as full blown panic attacks.  I have been very careful to not let myself become too agoraphobic.  I get out every day - even if it's just in my yard or to sit on the front porch.  I manage to go to the mall, parties, baby showers, etc...I sometimes don't know HOW I do it, but 9 times out of 10 it goes okay (although it most often feels like "work"). 

 

So it's that silly question that I've probably asked quite a few times on here, but the anxious side of me can't let it go.  For those of you who tapered off of your Benzo...did it get worse when you jumped?  OR, was it still rough but slowly got better?  Also, I read "Benzo Free" people saying that they hit the 2nd month or the 3rd month and got "slammed".  Was it AS BAD as tapering, or did it just feel rough b/c you had a window and then get hit w/ a wave out of no where?  This is when I wish I could sit in a room full of US and talk it out.  I have so many questions/thoughts/fears running through my brain.  I am so tired of the nausea - it alone exhausts me...and I start to question when I'll eat normally again? 

 

Any feedback would be MUCH appreciated (w/out totally frightening me...lol...I'm slightly vulnerable right now).  :)

 

Thanks to you all...hopefully I won't ask all of these questions again...I just need that "peace of mind" feeling right now.

 

BIG HUGS,

Schatje

 

P.S.  If all goes as planned...I will be Benzo free on July 19th

 

Schatje good luck on your last dose... Let me know how you are feeling. I know you can do this..You have your family around you.. You have me and bb here... You are almost there..

Please try not to worry to hard.. You did an amzing job.... You will be fine... I know it..

 

YOU CAN DO THIS.... I am thinking of yu now and alway's... You are sweet and deserve the best in life and you will get it... Keep me posted please

Luv,

Mishi

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