Some progress at 9 months off, hopefully things continue to improve

[[re...]]

Yes and at least you can trust that when you self grow and harvest. 

[[Re...]]

3 hours ago, [[r...] said:

I have been watching your posts and I love your take on other medicines and even "natural" remedies ramping up withdrawal. I have been there with the Valerian/sleepytime teas, exogenous melatonin, theanine, all the usual crap and WOW did it all make me way worse. It is not as harmless as the modern holistics would claim

I really respect your approach.

That Seroquel is the Devil's medicine to me. So many end up going into an even WORSE benzo withdrawal once these pill pushers give it to someone in an already sensitive nervous system state from benzo withdrawal. I think my problem and why I am here again was the intravenous high doses of Haldol that they gave me in the emergency room ICU from a true medical condition when i was "somewhat restless" and caused most of my weird movements. AP's are SERIOUS business. And I cannot believe how easily they are given out "off label". We are in a very scary time with big pharma and sometimes I feel like we as a society are in their crosshairs and they are the snipers.  Looking for lifelong subscriber$

You are extremely strong and I am thankful for your contributions and that you are seeing some positive results from your completely clean approach to this. It is amazing to behold. Good job. 

 

@[re...] Yes, docs give Haloperidol off-label for nausea and antipsychotics in a general way too often and casually off-label. Plus you don't know how fast they might push it intravenously depending on the nurse and what they may or may not know about the drug. Is that what happened to you?

Docs think the first-generation APs are worse but I think the second generation are equally as bad. In Norway, there is a "medication-free" hospital where they are helping patients with severe mental illness diagnoses off their drugs like APs. So seeds are being planted for the idea that these drugs aren't the answer.

Now that the government is cracking down on benzos in the US, APs are a next line of defense for patients with anxiety but as you said they are given for other reasons like sleep and nausea. APs are associated with many acts of violence in our country and I predict crime will get worse if they are more widely prescribed. They are prescribed to children 7, and 9 years old for sleep. It's nuts. So many high-powered important decision-makers in our world take Seroquel for sleep -- lawyers, executives, politicians, etc. They are popular in prisons too as sedatives and recreational use is high. Seroquel was the highest-selling AP in 2023, and Ativan was the highest-selling benzo. I could go on and on with details about these drugs which is why I chime in here to try to protect others from what I have gone through.

Thank you for your kind words overall. I was forced into not taking anything due to the severity of the adverse reactions I had and the withdrawal and injury I am still experiencing. So I will stay clean and free. I fought like hell to get here and will not compromise it for anything.

Once you get off the medical merry-go-round and see the truth, you cannot unsee it. And yes, herbs and naturopathic remedies carry risks and there is no scientific data on mixing those so you are smart to avoid them in my humble opinion.

 

[[re...]]

Oh god Rebecca WAS I given it and destroyed. But it was a big cocktail. Long story short I was working outside in the hot summer of phoenix one day and my sodium basically kept dropping and dropping as I drank more and more water and kept diluting my sodium until I developed severe hyponatremia.

The delayed care and mis judgement of diagnosis as they corrected my glucose without correcting my sodium (which i needed the most) led me to having a long status epilepticus and it put me in a coma where they way poly drugged me. With tons of Ativan, Keppra, Haldol, Precedex (Life support med). Then a bunch of antibiotics, antivirals, Then zofran and even others.  Upper limits of head meds and I  can even understand the seizure meds, but then of course from the seizures I was getting a bit restless when I came to so they then went crazy with 5 mg Haldol IV like 3 times in 24 hours. I have read it is very dangerous to give Haldol in seizure patients but they just don't care. I would of been better strapped down. To me they really seem to have a weird fetish with pumping people full of meds then blaming the patient if and when it turns on them and they get an adverse reaction. 

Then post care of course not ONE doctor mentioned the nuclear bomb of medicine they gave me in the hospital and told me I had "anxiety, ptsd" when I started getting all these jerky movements, numbness in my left arm and twitches in my face, and literally my body stopped sleeping for months and months. They will protect the drugs and the harm they do at any cost. Maybe I would sleep every second night for a bit if I was lucky. But then those hypnic jerks would really do me so much harm. Then of course some doc gave me Mirtazapine like a couple months after the accident.... BIG MISTAKE. I started developing this massive head buzzing from it like right away. I think my brain was just so trying to adjust from the onslaught it certainly didn't need MORE drugs. 

Sorry for giving you my whole story here. But YES I understand your reason for chiming in as I do the same thing and don't want anyone to be harmed and gaslit as well. 

Edited April 15 by [re...]

[[re...]]

You are an inspiration to me as you are off all of those brain toxins now. The fact that you won't mess with your healing by using yourself as a lab rat is also impressive. You will heal way better than the doctor shopping experience trying to "cure" your condition.  I also love the way you use jumping from the Seroquel as your starting healing time and not just the benzo. 

And you are right. Seroquel and a close second behind "Gabapentin" are the new go to psych meds they are handing out like kit kats for halloween. And yes Ativan is a big one they love to give out and I think this Benzo in particular has a really scary component to it. I have always felt I was immediately losing my mind having mini seizures after it would wear off.

  And I don't wanna believe that thing you said where they give Seroquel to small children, but I know you are right and it infuriates me and at the same time makes me shed a tear. A developing brain is such a wonderful thing and to feed it these heavy hitters from the depths of hell is beyond comprehension. 

And I had the same thing you had. I couldn't take anything herbal or any of usual stuff like theanine, melatonin, etc without getting feeling really off and worse than before. What they did to me in the hospital and post care I will forever be road weary of the modern medical model and it just sucks because I don't know what I would do if I ever got something bad happening to me where i needed medical care. I may try and take my chances with just trusting my body to heal. I know this sounds crazy, but I am so traumatized by them at this point. 

Hope you are doing well and keep going. It is AMAZING!!!!!!!!

[[Re...]]

26 minutes ago, [[r...] said:

Oh god Rebecca WAS I given it and destroyed. But it was a big cocktail. Long story short I was working outside in the hot summer of phoenix one day and my sodium basically kept dropping and dropping as I drank more and more water and kept diluting my sodium until I developed severe hyponatremia.

The delayed care and mis judgement of diagnosis as they corrected my glucose without correcting my sodium (which i needed the most) led me to having a long status epilepticus and it put me in a coma where they way poly drugged me. With tons of Ativan, Keppra, Haldol, Precedex (Life support med). Then a bunch of antibiotics, antivirals, Then zofran and even others.  Upper limits of head meds and I  can even understand the seizure meds, but then of course from the seizures I was getting a bit restless when I came to so they then went crazy with 5 mg Haldol IV like 3 times in 24 hours. I have read it is very dangerous to give Haldol in seizure patients but they just don't care. I would of been better strapped down. To me they really seem to have a weird fetish with pumping people full of meds then blaming the patient if and when it turns on them and they get an adverse reaction. 

Then post care of course not ONE doctor mentioned the nuclear bomb of medicine they gave me in the hospital and told me I had "anxiety, ptsd" when I started getting all these jerky movements, numbness in my left arm and twitches in my face, and literally my body stopped sleeping for months and months. They will protect the drugs and the harm they do at any cost. Maybe I would sleep every second night for a bit if I was lucky. But then those hypnic jerks would really do me so much harm. Then of course some doc gave me Mirtazapine like a couple months after the accident.... BIG MISTAKE. I started developing this massive head buzzing from it like right away. I think my brain was just so trying to adjust from the onslaught it certainly didn't need MORE drugs. 

Sorry for giving you my whole story here. But YES I understand your reason for chiming in as I do the same thing and don't want anyone to be harmed and gaslit as well. 

I am so angry this happened to you. How long ago was this? How did you end up here on BB?

[[Re...]]

17 minutes ago, [[r...] said:

You are an inspiration to me as you are off all of those brain toxins now. The fact that you won't mess with your healing by using yourself as a lab rat is also impressive. You will heal way better than the doctor shopping experience trying to "cure" your condition.  I also love the way you use jumping from the Seroquel as your starting healing time and not just the benzo. 

And you are right. Seroquel and a close second behind "Gabapentin" are the new go to psych meds they are handing out like kit kats for halloween. And yes Ativan is a big one they love to give out and I think this Benzo in particular has a really scary component to it. I have always felt I was immediately losing my mind having mini seizures after it would wear off.

  And I don't wanna believe that thing you said where they give Seroquel to small children, but I know you are right and it infuriates me and at the same time makes me shed a tear. A developing brain is such a wonderful thing and to feed it these heavy hitters from the depths of hell is beyond comprehension. 

And I had the same thing you had. I couldn't take anything herbal or any of usual stuff like theanine, melatonin, etc without getting feeling really off and worse than before. What they did to me in the hospital and post care I will forever be road weary of the modern medical model and it just sucks because I don't know what I would do if I ever got something bad happening to me where i needed medical care. I may try and take my chances with just trusting my body to heal. I know this sounds crazy, but I am so traumatized by them at this point. 

Hope you are doing well and keep going. It is AMAZING!!!!!!!!

It does not sound crazy AT ALL. Medical trauma is REAL. And you are right to avoid the system. Honestly, as soon as I can, I will likely leave the US and bid this horrid healthcare system good riddance. I was unnecessarily put into a psych ward because of all of this and my records are a disaster now.

It's not just the AP's. There was a recent study from the American Pediatric Association that stated antidepressant prescriptions are up 130% in the last three years alone for 12-17 year olds, and over 50 percent in 18-25 year-olds. They are drugging and polydrugging the next generation. Heavy-handed on the young girls.

How long have you been off of everything? Do you ever go to any of the withdrawal groups for support?

[[re...]]

Well Rebecca. It is a long story, but I had an issue as I was first introduced to benzos cause of a stressful musical tour with my band in France in 2009. So I found Benzo Buddies in early 2010. But then tapered like 1mg of Klonopin in 9 months and it was super easy and was fine and never touched another head med until this Medical Fiasco and misdiagnoses and I was poly drugged. Then all hell broke loose about a month or so after I got out of the hospital. I swear I am not being over dramatic by the story I tell.  I knew I was in for it, but to the extent and what I experienced from the medical people post care was mind blowing and very cold. 

It was only maybe 3 months ago that I started going back in my medical records and found out exactly what they did to me. I was blaming myself at first and listening to all the crazy advice when it first happened. I went of course to other docs and a neurologist who did all the usual testing, but as the drug damage will not show really anything significant. The MRI did show I have some kind of Ischemic Blood vessel disease in my brain which I think they caused. It is mild and with exercise and diet I feel I can beat and grow new ones with BDNF and lots of stress reductions. I have looked into lawyers, but it really seems the medical profession is quite bullet proof with accountability. Legal action is rarely taken on unless there is a guarantee of a win.  And all they're law team from the hospital will do is milk the litigation process until my statute of limitations is up and I don't think I could take the stress. 

[[re...]]

I am still tapering the Diazepam ONLY and am down to about .96 which is fumes at this point and doing somewhat ok. I am functional, but not out of the woods yet.

I am not taking anything else either. No way not again EVER. 

I love your passion for hating the system's injustice. I am exactly the same way. I have lost pretty much everything worldly (My LLC in phoenix, My place of residence, All my money, etc) and live at home as a full grown man with my mom. Oh it is so awful. But my spirit is strong and now that I see the medical paperwork I now no longer have to blame myself and this helps me cope a bit at least and I exercise everyday weather permitting regardless of how sick I feel.  

[[Re...]]

7 minutes ago, [[r...] said:

I am still tapering the Diazepam ONLY and am down to about .96 which is fumes at this point and doing somewhat ok. I am functional, but not out of the woods yet.

I am not taking anything else either. No way not again EVER. 

I love your passion for hating the system's injustice. I am exactly the same way. I have lost pretty much everything worldly (My LLC in phoenix, My place of residence, All my money, etc) and live at home as a full grown man with my mom. Oh it is so awful. But my spirit is strong and now that I see the medical paperwork I now no longer have to blame myself and this helps me cope a bit at least and I exercise everyday weather permitting regardless of how sick I feel.  

I understand the collateral damage. I am also an adult living at home. This level of loss that you describe is unfortunately all too common. But you seem like a fighter and I have a hunch you will get your life back and even more.

I am glad you are tapering and functional. After what you have been through, that must be kind of a relief. You will get to zero meds and you will be so so happy when you do.

It's so nice not to deal with a psychiatrist or a pharmacy and to fear drug shortages, natural disasters and other issues that can effect prescriptions.

You will be free, buddy. And you will tell your story of survival and help others. Hey, maybe we will all end up on Capitol Hill together fighting these regulation issues. I know other members have been pushing for reform for years and the movement always needs more informed voices like yours.

[[Re...]]

19 minutes ago, [[r...] said:

Well Rebecca. It is a long story, but I had an issue as I was first introduced to benzos cause of a stressful musical tour with my band in France in 2009. So I found Benzo Buddies in early 2010. But then tapered like 1mg of Klonopin in 9 months and it was super easy and was fine and never touched another head med until this Medical Fiasco and misdiagnoses and I was poly drugged. Then all hell broke loose about a month or so after I got out of the hospital. I swear I am not being over dramatic by the story I tell.  I knew I was in for it, but to the extent and what I experienced from the medical people post care was mind blowing and very cold. 

It was only maybe 3 months ago that I started going back in my medical records and found out exactly what they did to me. I was blaming myself at first and listening to all the crazy advice when it first happened. I went of course to other docs and a neurologist who did all the usual testing, but as the drug damage will not show really anything significant. The MRI did show I have some kind of Ischemic Blood vessel disease in my brain which I think they caused. It is mild and with exercise and diet I feel I can beat and grow new ones with BDNF and lots of stress reductions. I have looked into lawyers, but it really seems the medical profession is quite bullet proof with accountability. Legal action is rarely taken on unless there is a guarantee of a win.  And all they're law team from the hospital will do is milk the litigation process until my statute of limitations is up and I don't think I could take the stress. 

You have to find the right law firm and of course, the statute of limitations in your state is key. One other way to get justice is to just tell your story on social media when you are ready to. The PSSD patients who are antidepressant-harmed seem to be very organized and making a lot of headway in getting their message out to the public.

[[re...]]

Oh it's so so awful Rebecca. I try not to be a victim, but we really are at the hands of those who we trusted. 

It's like this. I do admit I was a MORON for not eating salty food or drinking more salt and electrolytes with my extreme amounts of water that fateful day. BUT when I handed the ball over to the........ ahem........... "professionals" they really dropped it and dropped me.  And the massive dysregulation of my nervous system and body was not "in my head" (well it definitely was, but not what they mean LOL LOL) or "ptsd" or whatever the hell they want to label it and it was medical negligence pure and simple. I mean I remember just puking and puking outside the hospital doors all this clear liquid as of course my body was trying to save itself and get rid of all that water so my salt could rise. 

 

[[re...]]

It seems Arizona really protects the doctors over the patients. Florida is the same way from the research I have done. 

This happened in June of 2022 so I don't think I have much of a case this far out. I just don't know if I could take the stress of a long and drawn out case at this point either. But YES I have to publicly  advocate for at a minimum.......of low use or completely no use of AP's in the ICU. I think it sets up a very dark post care outcome.  "somewhat restless" is what my medical paperwork said. Can you believe they would give out 5mg (a potent amount) of IV Haldol THREE TIMES for "somewhat restless"

I think many (not all) medical people are sado masochists. They seem to kind of enjoy seeing what will happen to you with these drugs. Like some kind of experiment.  

[[Re...]]

3 hours ago, [[r...] said:

It seems Arizona really protects the doctors over the patients. Florida is the same way from the research I have done. 

This happened in June of 2022 so I don't think I have much of a case this far out. I just don't know if I could take the stress of a long and drawn out case at this point either. But YES I have to publicly  advocate for at a minimum.......of low use or completely no use of AP's in the ICU. I think it sets up a very dark post care outcome.  "somewhat restless" is what my medical paperwork said. Can you believe they would give out 5mg (a potent amount) of IV Haldol THREE TIMES for "somewhat restless"

I think many (not all) medical people are sado masochists. They seem to kind of enjoy seeing what will happen to you with these drugs. Like some kind of experiment.  

The statute of limitation for medical malpractice in Arizona is two years so you still have some time. In all likelihood, I would bet that this would settle out of court. The problem is whether this is considered a standard of care but it sounds like there was negligence involved. That said, I totally understand what you are saying and the energy involved in going through a case. When I was calling lawyers it was so stressful and I felt ridiculous doing it but I was also determined.

I have Haloperidol listed on my medical records as an allergy after this happened to me because I know how frequently it is used. I also tell all of my friends to list it as an allergy.

[[Re...]]

3 hours ago, [[r...] said:

Oh it's so so awful Rebecca. I try not to be a victim, but we really are at the hands of those who we trusted. 

It's like this. I do admit I was a MORON for not eating salty food or drinking more salt and electrolytes with my extreme amounts of water that fateful day. BUT when I handed the ball over to the........ ahem........... "professionals" they really dropped it and dropped me.  And the massive dysregulation of my nervous system and body was not "in my head" (well it definitely was, but not what they mean LOL LOL) or "ptsd" or whatever the hell they want to label it and it was medical negligence pure and simple. I mean I remember just puking and puking outside the hospital doors all this clear liquid as of course my body was trying to save itself and get rid of all that water so my salt could rise. 

I hear you. I had a dystonic episode and was told it was psychological. I had it tapering an atypical antipsychotic known to cause dystonic issues. Even the nurse in the ER told me she sees it "all the time with psych meds." The doctor wrote in my medical records it was psychosomatic then a psychiatrist doubled down on that. He told me I "decided subconsciously that I was going to have side effects tapering."

[[re...]]

Psychological  Yeah of course. RIGHT!!!!!!!!

I keep saying this and will say it again. 

THEY ARE PROTECTING PHARMA ALL THE WAY TO THE BANK!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Or something at least is really going on with their influence in all the major medical journals like Jama, New England journal of medicine. They have ties to all these publications that doctors trust. 

[[Bu...]]

@[Re...] thank you so much for coming back and telling your story, it’s keeping me going. I find myself polydrugged and trying to taper valium for the 3rd time. I was given this as I was anxious after I stopped nursing my daughter. I have been dealing with horrific symptoms since November and was put on gabapentin in the hospital. I truly feel like my life is ruined and I won’t ever get better. It’s a mess. It’s stories like yours that give me some glimmer of hope. I hope I can keep going and get to a drug free life. It’s my biggest and hardest goal. Thank you for your story. 

[[Re...]]

2 hours ago, [[B...] said:

@[Re...] thank you so much for coming back and telling your story, it’s keeping me going. I find myself polydrugged and trying to taper valium for the 3rd time. I was given this as I was anxious after I stopped nursing my daughter. I have been dealing with horrific symptoms since November and was put on gabapentin in the hospital. I truly feel like my life is ruined and I won’t ever get better. It’s a mess. It’s stories like yours that give me some glimmer of hope. I hope I can keep going and get to a drug free life. It’s my biggest and hardest goal. Thank you for your story. 

@[Bu...] I was also put on Gabapentin in the hospital then CTd off of that at 300mg. I haven't counted how many drugs I was given since 2017 when the polydrugging started but I am guessing around 30-35? Plus multiple unnecessary treatments like TMS and Ketamine. One day I will count how many drugs. Polydrugging is a form of medical abuse in my opinion and I do believe in karma for these so-called medical professionals.

You are right -- this is your biggest and hardest goal. And you are also right to know to stay off of all drugs but this is my opinion and not a shared opinion by many other people on this site. Some still think drugs are the answer despite all of the countless stories here of people being harmed by them equally across psych drug classes. When I was in your position, all I wanted was to be off of all drugs. Now I am. You can do it. You have to fight and fight hard, but I know that you can do it one day at a time.

I feel like a broken record on my posts because I constantly say, "get social support." I had to hire caretakers and then eventually my true friends came out of the woodwork to support me. I have also leaned on Angela Peacock's groups as they are affordable and well-moderated. Angela knows what she is doing and talking about.

I wish you all the best and look forward to your success story once you are free. You are on your way!!

Edited April 19 by [Re...]

[[Bu...]]

@[Re...] thanks for the kind words. I go to Angie’s group every 2 weeks and am starting another group that my therapist is running as well. I also think social support or peer support is integral to this process. Keep up the good work!! You are an inspiration 🩷

[[...]]

On 05/04/2024 at 09:21, [[R...] said:

Today marks nine months since I stopped taking Seroquel for sleep, which I was prescribed during benzo withdrawal. I am over 18 months off the benzo. Some of you may know that Seroquel worsened my already severe condition, causing me to experience worsening akathisia, excruciatingly painful muscle issues including a dystonic episode, and tinnitus, among dozens of other symptoms. I have not had windows, however, I have started to notice some slight improvements recently, which I wanted to share with you.

Firstly, I am now able to sleep better. I can sleep at least six hours straight through the night, and sometimes even eight to 13 hours with minor interruptions. To say that I am exhausted is an understatement. And rightfully so. I let myself sleep as much as I need to. I have taken three naps but cannot consistently nap like a regular human yet.

Additionally, I am now working part-time from home, and my executive function has mostly returned, although complex tasks still pose a challenge.

I have also been able to reintroduce some foods back into my diet like banana and cacao which had triggered akathisia before. I only eat small amounts of these foods.

I have recently reconnected with some old friends and also made a few new ones. I am putting more effort into being a better friend overall. I often have my friends over and also speak with them on FaceTime and Zoom. While I did lose many friends during this time, I have also come to realize that their energies did not match with mine anyway. However, I could have done without their gaslighting!

Despite seeing some improvements, I still have around two dozen symptoms, which I monitor monthly to track my progress. I spend most of my time at home and still experience slight akathisia, although it has improved significantly since November. I feel back in my body most of the time which is a luxury. I still struggle a lot through those moments when symptoms amp up. Myofascial release therapy, along with heat and ice packs, has been incredibly helpful to me.

I avoid taking any vitamins, minerals, supplements, herbs, over-the-counter remedies, and prescription drugs. I eat organic foods, drink plenty of water, and avoid processed snacks, sugar, dairy, gluten, seed oils, fake sweeteners, caffeine, and alcohol. I wasn't a drinker before this and I never did recreational drugs so avoidance  has not been difficult for me. I also steer clear of any medical treatments, including naturopathic treatments like acupuncture and red light therapy which I know could impact my nervous system. I will never do any treatment again that messes with my brain. I don't even want to do hypnotherapy. I avoid chemical products.

Although I still have some extremely challenging symptoms, such as frozen shoulder, jaw pain, hyperacusis, and tinnitus, I feel somewhat encouraged that I may be able to heal from this. I hope to write my success story one day and put this chapter of my life behind me.

To anyone else struggling with similar issues, I want to offer my heartfelt support. I know how difficult it can be, but I urge you to keep going. While I cannot make any guarantees, I believe that time can heal, and I think at this point that I am proof of that. Finally.

In the same breath, I will tell you that I am cautiously optimistic and I know full well that things can change on a dime and go backwards as much as they can go forwards. I am taking it one day at a time and being as careful as possible with my physical body.

Hi Rebecca, I'm in the same situation you were. Your post is very encouraging and I'm glad you seem to be mostly out off the woods. I'm Tapering benzo plus Seroquel with bad akathisia. I stopped the benzo taper to continue with the Seroquel taper to see if it would help but not such luck. Would you mind sharing you taper to see if I could get any info that would help me? Thank you

[[Pa...]]