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Had a window.


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Had a window that was about one hour. I felt almost normal.

the inner vibration was gone, fatigue gone, mood positive, felt like I could handle life. I only had a few very short windows over the last few years while tapering and being off now for 9 months.

we’re talking like 2 five minute windows. It been brutal.

im in shock and am like “did this really happen “?

im questioning it now only because im back in serious mental anguish, bad anxiety and lots of intrusive SI. The window was amazing but now im back in extreme hell. This is how it works. It’s cruel, but it does make me hope in this healing process.


I’m really suffering right now! So bizarre!!!

 

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Thats fabulous! These moments, no matter how long or short mean a lot. Its disappointing when the window shuts, but another one will open again. Gives us hope! Keep healing my friend! 

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Still having a lot of issues as you know 20 months out. About 7 months ago I had about 6 hours where I went to the bank and did some things that had to be done. No symptoms! Then back to hell. I can't say I've experienced this since but some of the symptoms have disappeared. Not much inner vibrations or heart palps. Lots of vision issues and fears that I didn't have in the beginning. Early days were peddle to the metal anxiety period and pain. More functional that I used to be. Frustration is a major player now. I'm feeling better enough and functional enough to want it over where before I was just trying to survive each day. I want to get back to life but I'm not there yet.. 

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Hey @[wi...],

I'm so happy you had a widow!  I know it's been really awful, but like you said, when it happens, it helps you to have hope in the process.  And I take it as proof.  If it happens once, it will happen again and will probably be longer next time.   

I'm sorry about the suffering right now; I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

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8 minutes ago, [[g...] said:

Congratulations. That’s a big deal.

Hey, thank you. 
so weird that the brain can’t figure out how to keep the dial at that setting. 

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WTG!! Hopefully the next window will be permanent!! It happens, it really does!

Now, hold on to it, write down exactly how it felt in colorful detail so you will remember. And read it TO remember when feeling especially low. WTG 

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21 minutes ago, [[M...] said:

WTG!! Hopefully the next window will be permanent!! It happens, it really does!

Now, hold on to it, write down exactly how it felt in colorful detail so you will remember. And read it TO remember when feeling especially low. WTG 

Thank you dear Mary. @[Ma...]

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[d9...]

@[wi...]

So glad you had that window. It’s absolute proof that healing is taking place and things are slowly starting to change. Please trust in those windows as your permanent future. 🫂❤️

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1 minute ago, [[W...] said:

@[wi...]

So glad you had that window. It’s absolute proof that healing is taking place and things are slowly starting to change. Please trust in those windows as your future. 🫂❤️

I’ll do my best. It takes a village to make it through. I’ll certainly need reminding. 🫂❤️

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[d9...]
8 minutes ago, [[w...] said:

I’ll do my best. It takes a village to make it through. I’ll certainly need reminding. 🫂❤️

It certainly does… and we will keep reminding you. 

Keep reminding yourself of how it felt, how you experienced that window. Reminding yourself or reliving the memory of the window over and over (if you can) will have a calming effect on your system. It will help dispel at least some of the fear of NOT healing which has no doubt been hitting your CNS after all these months. 🫂❤️

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Yes I agree with everyone here. i constantly think of that day I felt normal. Focus on that because the old you is still there and gradually will surface again! 

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I hope so. Feeling like mental crap right now. SI hitting hard since window ended.

Very dark. This is wacko.

major fear. A complete 180.

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8 hours ago, [[w...] said:

Had a window that was about one hour. I felt almost normal.

the inner vibration was gone, fatigue gone, mood positive, felt like I could handle life. I only had a few very short windows over the last few years while tapering and being off now for 9 months.

we’re talking like 2 five minute windows. It been brutal.

im in shock and am like “did this really happen “?

im questioning it now only because im back in serious mental anguish, bad anxiety and lots of intrusive SI. The window was amazing but now im back in extreme hell. This is how it works. It’s cruel, but it does make me hope in this healing process.


I’m really suffering right now! So bizarre!!!

The windows are great, my congratulations! 🎈But yes, it's really cruel to suffer again after having one( Wish you more and more windows that will stay open longer and longer!

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Soon those windows will increase and this will be your new norm, its a major sign that your body is balancing itself out. I had windows 6 and 8 month long while benzo was not on my mind at all and I have even stopped visiting BB, only now in a setback due to taking supplements.  

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Widesky great that you had a window, I had one the other day for a couple of hours. Even found myself thinking 'What was that all about'. But now as you say back in the thick of it. Ruminating on the past. It's so hard trying to get things done when you have to think through all this fog. Yazz 20 so sorry that you're in a set back so frustrating. More healing needs to happen. What supplements did you take?

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11 hours ago, [[w...] said:

Had a window that was about one hour. I felt almost normal.

the inner vibration was gone, fatigue gone, mood positive, felt like I could handle life. I only had a few very short windows over the last few years while tapering and being off now for 9 months.

we’re talking like 2 five minute windows. It been brutal.

im in shock and am like “did this really happen “?

im questioning it now only because im back in serious mental anguish, bad anxiety and lots of intrusive SI. The window was amazing but now im back in extreme hell. This is how it works. It’s cruel, but it does make me hope in this healing process.


I’m really suffering right now! So bizarre!!!

Wow weird indeed but still nice you got an for how it feels to be normal :)))

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10 hours ago, [[w...] said:

I hope so. Feeling like mental crap right now. SI hitting hard since window ended.

Very dark. This is wacko.

major fear. A complete 180.

Seems like the day after my windows, it all comes back with vengeance. I live for the windows. Not having one today though, maybe tomorrow, I can only hope.

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I am happy @[wi...], you have a demonstration what your recovery will be like. 

I know you have very difficult moments and you deserve only windows in your life. We will get there, all of us, I hope so much🫂

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Widesky, I am so happy for your window! I know it is so hard to get hit by another wave 🥺but I am sure the window was a sign of recovery …

I have had some „hours windows“ lately. I started telling my friend about my window feelings. So that I can call her when back in hell. And although I am not able to have the window feeling anymore she can assure me that it was real. 

Trust the windows not the waves!!!

I wish you and everyone else more windows and good healing 🍀:hug:

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