People Who C/Ted, Please Help!

[[cd...]]

I'm seven months out and I have not recovered from a single sx. In fact I have gained more and more sxs. I have bad d/p, dizziness, pain, pressure, itchy bumps all over my body and a pile of other things.

 

For those who C/Ted, what was it like for you seven months out?

 

I'm so desperate I think I could die if I don't get relief.

[[...]]

i just did a pretty quick taper on K -see my intro - entire exp of taper was about 24 days.  off today my 4th day - hope i did it ok.  i have real bad days but yest i felt normal. it is often anx or dep and weird thinking - i am so sorry for us.  it's a tough tough thing. do u have depression ordinarily?  because i do.  i take  wellbutrin - afraid to get off it right now but have been thru and the AD's.  i wish there was something i could say that would help because i totally know how feel.  you lived thru seven months - i am a newbie.  i pray i can get back in the classroom in august.  it does come and go, right?

[[cd...]]

No, not for me it does not come and go. It's always there. I've had a couple of days when it didn't feel as bad but was still there. That doesn't mean that's how it'll be for you. I took much more for much longer.

[[am...]]

I went c/t in Sept 2010. Was in such terror from the symptoms - after four months I finally figured it out and reinstated. I didn't want to, but for me, I was at the end of my rope. I'm now doing a direct taper very very slowly with the help of my doctor, who understands and is supportive and I'm back among the living again. I know it is different for everyone and everyone here can identify with what you are dealing with.  I'm so sorry you are dealing with this and my heart goes out to you.

[[Pa...]]

I was pretty discouraged when I hit 6 months and was still in agony, I pretty much tried to quit counting the months after that, what was the use, benzo withdrawal doesn't seem to recognize the calendar.  It takes a year or more, this is what I've seen in my time here, I've not heard of many get better before then, even the short time users. 

 

There is a thread about those who quit cold turkey located here: http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=28034.0

[[cd...]]

Well I just can't do it another six months or more. I just can't. Call me a coward if you will, and posting this will probably get me banned, but I have to say that I am prepared to check out of this world if I don't get relief.

[Guest [my...]]

cdt,

were you relieved when you were taking the benzo, or did it cause more misery for you?

[[...]]

It has been 7 months for me also. Don't lose hope and give up, three weeks ago my legs burned and ached so bad I could hardly walk more than a few feet before I had to sit down, then without a clue as to how or why, all the pain completely disappeared, and has not returned.

 

That is the nature of the beast. There is no rhyme or reason as to when the symptoms come and go like they do. No one can give us a concrete answer as to when we will be completely healed.

 

Maybe a week from now, or a month from now, a lot of your symptoms could be gone. Believe me, I understand the pain that you are in.

 

 

[[Wh...]]

I understand this pain too.  :'(  Please just get thru this day ... you matter ... your life matters.

[[xe...]]

I have only seen two people on these boards who did not have very significant progress by 9 months. I have also not seen anyone except one person who did not have most symptoms abate by 18-24 months. The fully protracted folks usually only have motor and sensory issues (i.e. pain), not mental ones.

 

But, surely, if it gets so bad that you are about to take your own life, surely reinstatement is a better option than death. It's a far worse option to waiting for improvement, of course.

[[Pa...]]

Well I just can't do it another six months or more. I just can't. Call me a coward if you will, and posting this will probably get me banned, but I have to say that I am prepared to check out of this world if I don't get relief.

 

Hello cdt85,

 

This statement will not get you banned, but it will cause our other members distress, it is for this reason that we have the rules we do.  Think of the helplessness of those who read what you write, who are powerless to stop you from harming yourself.  This would be a great burden on people not suffering from benzodiazepine withdrawal, but can you imagine the impact of your words on the people here who are suffering as much or more than you?  We all know the thoughts you're having, it's a common aspect of benzo withdrawal, but the key is to not bring anymore distress on yourself and others by voicing them. 

 

Suicide isn't something which happens suddenly, it creeps into your consciousness, and each time you give it the light of day, it gains strength.  Each time you think about it, it gets a little less scary, you begin to get comfortable with the idea.  I'm here to tell you that you cannot give it the chance to take root in you, you must leave it in the dark, where it can't gain strength and become your answer.  Don't miss out on the joy which is waiting for you, I'm grateful every day I didn't act on the thoughts I was having, and you will be too. 

 

Having said this, please, if you are in danger, let someone in your real life know, we don't want to lose you, and I'm sure those in your life don't want this either.  If you don't have anyone you can talk to, please make use of these resources or call 911 and tell them how you're feeling. 

 

 

Suicide and Self-harm Policy

 

Suicidal feelings are a common side effect of benzo use and withdrawal. We understand and deeply empathize with this. But in order to protect the greater majority of our membership, we need to ask that you please refrain from posting actual threats of harm to yourself. We also ask that you not contact other members via the private message (PM) system with these intentions. All members who happen across such posts or PM's are urged to report these incidents by using the "report to moderator" or "report to admin function".

 

This community is about helping people withdraw from benzodiazepines. It is beyond the scope of care of BenzoBuddies to manage members who are directly suicidal. Please understand that many of our other members may be in a very fragile state, and can become extremely disturbed by reading about imminent threats to self or others. We urge you to alert your doctor or emergency services and inform them of your feelings and/or intentions.

 

Emergency Contact Details:

 

If you reside in the USA Tel. 911

If you reside in the UK Tel. 999

 

There are also 24 hour Counseling Services available. Look for listings in your Local Telephone Directory.

 

For those in the USA look under Suicide Prevention Service, National Tel. No. 1-800-784-2433     

 

For online services: http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

 

For those residing in the UK contact The Samaritans, National Tel. No. 0845 790 9090; or look in your Telephone Directory under "Samaritans" for your Local Branch.

 

For online Services enter http://www.samaritans.org.uk/

 

For those residing outside of the UK and the USA, look for listings in your own Countries.

 

If possible alert a Family member or Friend to be with you.

 

If you have information about similar services in your country, please contact us - we'd be more than happy to add the details to our list.

 

More Useful Resources:

 

http://www.mind.org.uk: How to cope with suicidal feelings.

 

http://www.mind.org.uk: How to help someone who is suicidal.

[Guest [my...]]

Thanks Pam!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

cdt,

Please let us know you are ok...   

[[Li...]]

God bless cdt85...he needs your hands right now!

 

cdt85, withdrawal turned out to be one of the worse experiences of my life and others on this forum have expressed the same sentiment. Don't let that evil spirit take over your soul. God did not give us the spirit of fear but that of love and STRENGTH. Dig deep, and gather all the strength inside of you and hang on! FIGHT dog-gone-it!

 

We are here for you. Snuggle up to your computer and just know that you have support!

 

Take care,  

 

Lida

 

 

[[cd...]]

I understand completely Pamster. I think it'd be best if I left BB for a while.

 

Thank you Pamster and everyone else. I can't tell you how much your prayers and well wishes have meant to me. I'm sorry if I've caused undue stress to anyone with my previous posts.

[[Ho...]]

Well I just can't do it another six months or more. I just can't. Call me a coward if you will, and posting this will probably get me banned, but I have to say that I am prepared to check out of this world if I don't get relief.

 

I felt the same way as you when I was 6 months out. I tried to listen to the ones that had been where I was, and have faith that I would also be where they are one day. I felt so bad I just KNEW I would be one of the first people to never heal. Somewhere in the 7 -12 month range, things started getting a little better and I could notice a big difference. You should also notice some difference in the next few months to come. Hang in there, it does get better.

[[Su...]]

If you want to reinstate, just be prepared to live with this a lot longer.  You may have a short while that things seem more normal....but symptoms return, and you don't get to pick and choose the ones you want to deal with.

The symptoms you are dealing with now, will most likely be the very ones you deal with after you reinstate.

 

You don't want to let this play out for 3 years or longer, like I did.

Listen to Pam.  She knows very well what a cold turkey is like.

 

Try to hang in there. You can do this. 

[[...]]

I did not start to feel much better until 10 months off. 

[Guest [Si...]]

cd,

 

Hopefully, you will start to feel some better soon.

 

Please keep us updated if you feel like it.

 

Sometimes a break from the forum helps, I took a break for two months.

I logged in every once of a while, but wasn't on too much.

 

S#