Just want to know

[[Li...]]

Hi BB's 16 months free from benzos and very happy for that, I won't deny its been a hell of a road as it has for many,because of my c/t I it is taking me along time to heal,still head foggy, heaps anxiety,confusion,I have been very sick and being a single mum without much support makes that bit harder. I've decided after 4 years of not doing anything I am going to start a small business course,mainly to help me get out of my head because I know thats my biggest downfall too much time on my own. I am very fearful but figured as long as I try I can't fail.

What I want to really know off other BB's do people get scared continully there losing it or going insane, because that's how I feel alot of days and I don't know if this is part of recovery or just anxiety.Would appreciate any feedback. Thanks Lisa

[[sw...]]

Well, I haven't been off that long, but back when I was on them and didn't have any idea that I was in withdrawal when I adjusted my dose I really and truly thought that I was going out of my mind. 

 

I think that there were two areas that really made me think that I was losing it.  One was where I (with no prior history) would have these horrible anxiety attacks that would go for 6+ hours and I would need to basically be talked down from (thanks dad!).  The other was I had a really bad situation with a very abusive (to everyone) supervisor who was just so inappropriate and out of line and just moronic that I would have these stints where I would get really worked up about it ruminating about it for hours at a time (with no new ground covered).  In both cases, while it was going on I would be thinking "this is nuts" and was all the more stressed because I couldn't stop.  Even if it wasn't for a couple of years, man was I glad when I finally realized that it was withdrawal and not something fundamentally wrong with me because it really freaked me out how bizarre it was and how little control I had over it.

 

As for the classes, I think that that sounds great.  I've signed up for some classes in the fall semester, myself.  I may need to drop some depending on where I am when I get there, but I figured that since I can't work at the moment I should use the time as productively as possible (these would be work related classes) and get myself out of the house.  Plus, having some demands on me is the best way I can think of to keep an eye on how close I am to being able to go back to work.  I hope your classes go well!