Dont Know Which Way To Turn Or What To Do Need some communication PLEASE

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I made these small cuts only a few weeks ago. 1st one drY cut of 0.25mgs was 6 weeks ago,(OF WHICH i AM FEELING NOW I EXPECT 2nd DRY Cut 0.25mgs dry cut was 7 weeks ago...

I am in such Terrible Pain all my Sxs ares so much worse. The Pain is so bad I am still bedridden. I dont have much easement at all.

If I was to tell all my wacko symptoms it would make members very wary of me I dont want this....I cannot sit here for too long as have these Jerks which makes everything so much worse to do...

Please somebody out there PLEASE tell me "I Can Get Through This"OR HOW THEY DONE IT IF NOTHIN GTHEY COULD DO OCCUPY THEIR MIND....I am so scared as have to look after myself. Its BAD W/D I know everyboyd has their own Private Hell but this is so hard to bear as nothing is as bad as laying I LAY bed all day with nothing to do to occupy my mind.

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I am here.  You can do this!!!! Just hold on. It will get better soon for you!!!  Patience!  It's ok to lie in bed, just relax, or try to relax and have faith that it will get better soon...

 

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Thanks for replying...so much.....

[[Ma...]]

Tess,

 

Let me start by saying you are doing fantastic so far! And I can really really relate to you about not sharing all of your symptoms for the fear of judgement. I do the exact same thing. I was just telling that to someone in a pm. We swhouldnt be like that here, but I can totally relate.

 

Ok, I know you are so very scared right now. Thats ok Tess. I am too.  I can assure you it DOES PASS! It really does. Even though you feel like this now, it does NOT mean you will feel like this your whole taper. Some cuts actually made me feel better when I was tapering.

 

Another thing that made me feel better when I was alone, I would just CRY and let it out. Sometimes you just gotta do it.  It's ok..you are going to be fine in the long run Tess. But I know it's very lonely and very very scary.  We are all here for you. On day you will be saying this same thing to someone else, and pay it forward.

 

What I have done to occupy my mind is mindless TV, I bought a huge book of crosswords and word searches. That REALLY REALLY REALLY helps.  Sometimes, like today It was sooo hard to get up. As I feel like I have a bad "flu" all the time now.

 

Tess, you can do this!!!  I promise you, you can do this!  It is soo worth it in the end.  If you ever need to talk please keep posting, or go into chat.  Just stay the course and you will be done with this and be living your life again.

 

We are here for you

[[...]]

Tess,

 

Let me start by saying you are doing fantastic so far! And I can really really relate to you about not sharing all of your symptoms for the fear of judgement. I do the exact same thing. I was just telling that to someone in a pm. We swhouldnt be like that here, but I can totally relate.

 

Ok, I know you are so very scared right now. Thats ok Tess. I am too.  I can assure you it DOES PASS! It really does. Even though you feel like this now, it does NOT mean you will feel like this your whole taper. Some cuts actually made me feel better when I was tapering.

 

Another thing that made me feel better when I was alone, I would just CRY and let it out. Sometimes you just gotta do it.  It's ok..you are going to be fine in the long run Tess. But I know it's very lonely and very very scary.  We are all here for you. On day you will be saying this same thing to someone else, and pay it forward.

 

What I have done to occupy my mind is mindless TV, I bought a huge book of crosswords and word searches. That REALLY REALLY REALLY helps.  Sometimes, like today It was sooo hard to get up. As I feel like I have a bad "flu" all the time now.

 

Tess, you can do this!!!  I promise you, you can do this!  It is soo worth it in the end.  If you ever need to talk please keep posting, or go into chat.  Just stay the course and you will be done with this and be living your life again. The Pain I get is Deep Nerve Travelling Pain worse in my mouth,shoulders and really its from head to foot......Wont say anymore as their are even more sxs's ....

 

We are here for you

Thanks Mark for replying,

thats the problem I cannot watch T.V or even listen to the radio I wish I could...I could'nt go into chat but would love to. I cannot stay on here too long I am not depressed but my pain is horrendous even noises I can't stand at all...Also they dry cuts I am not happy with as not accurate enough. I need liquid but not allowed until you get down to 10mgs..

I've just tried to maybe think about changing my Dr but I must'nt jump in as maybe out of the frying pan into the fire....Anyway I can't as you have to raise the issue with The Manager there...so many problems. Oh!!! Yes I cry out to my Mum even when hse is not her and when she is visit's as am housbound as housebound cannot even go out as pain and jerks so bad (not safe) and I am 54 my Mum can't help me nobody can except myself as my Mum is 84 and had a stroke...

[[wh...]]

Tess My heart is with you.  I know its awful. they say take it one day at a time but sometimes we have to just go one hour or one minute at a time. Sometimes I just have to force myself out of the bed and into a chair , but Thats a step right there.  I think You have to find something, anything to keep your mind occupied.

  It doesnt say in your profile exactly What benzo your cutting.

Will be hoping and praying for you

 

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Tess My heart is with you.  I know its awful. they say take it one day at a time but sometimes we have to just go one hour or one minute at a time. Sometimes I just have to force myself out of the bed and into a chair , but Thats a step right there.  I think You have to find something, anything to keep your mind occupied.

  It doesnt say in your profile exactly What benzo your cutting.

Will be hoping and praying for you

 

That is so kind of you. I have halted my tapering for NOW.

I was going to try to taper off 2mgs in 12 weeks.

But I was not able to as my G.P wanted to take me off 2mgs in one month too fast for me.

So I thought I would try to do this slower and NOT have told my Dr as needed to know how I would fair.

It all intensified my pain.

I have altogether Cut 1mg a half of a 2mg Diazepam tablet (Valium).

In the U'K we Do Not Have 1mg tablets but we have Liquid..

I need my C.N.S to settle down first.It had'nt even when I was 1st Cut 10 weeks back.

These .25mgs Dry cuts my husband has to do them when he is home,which is not for long, just a few days as he is a seaman.

Really I should do this myself and lick up the crumbs as could be losing enough of this drug not good..

I cannot Cut my own tablets as I am too shaky and tremble also with these Muyoclonic Jerks its virtually impossible.

Although today has been a little better TODAY as been able to come on here in short burst's, but its til very bad nerve/muscle pain and Jerking violentally at times.... Also as I can touchtype so its easy for me to come on P.C for short time...

Still in Very Bad Pain.....I have to move about though it really hurts......

Thank You for Your Prayer's and Replying Its Very Much Appreciated....

I so wish I could watch T.V or listen to some music.

I also have an appointment with G.P on 15th July I am dreading this... as dont know what she plans she has for me

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

.

[[Li...]]

Hi Tess, big hug (((((Tess))))).

 

You will get through this. It is not the easiest thing to accomplish but it can be done. I found that my sxs were more intense when I was home, alone and in bed and my new comfort zone! I pushed myself to get outside, get in the car and back to work! The mind is incredible and it will adapt to the surroundings it is in. If you can just take a walk or sit outdoors for a while, it will do wonders!!!

 

Ask a friend to come over to have breakfast/lunch/dinner with you. Speak with a neighbor for a few minutes - force yourself out of the bed and keep moving. During my darkest days, my dearest friend showed up on my doorstep with lunch (turkey club and tomato basil bisque soup) and I cannot tell you how great it made me feel. I truly believe it was a breakthrough for me.   

 

Happy Wednesday!

[[mi...]]

I made these small cuts only a few weeks ago. 1st one drY cut of 0.25mgs was 6 weeks ago,(OF WHICH i AM FEELING NOW I EXPECT 2nd DRY Cut 0.25mgs dry cut was 7 weeks ago...

I am in such Terrible Pain all my Sxs ares so much worse. The Pain is so bad I am still bedridden. I dont have much easement at all.

If I was to tell all my wacko symptoms it would make members very wary of me I dont want this....I cannot sit here for too long as have these Jerks which makes everything so much worse to do...

Please somebody out there PLEASE tell me "I Can Get Through This"OR HOW THEY DONE IT IF NOTHIN GTHEY COULD DO OCCUPY THEIR MIND....I am so scared as have to look after myself. Its BAD W/D I know everyboyd has their own Private Hell but this is so hard to bear as nothing is as bad as laying I LAY bed all day with nothing to do to occupy my mind.

 

Tess, my heart goes out to you right now.. I am here with you.. I promise... I am so scared like you.. I wish I could help you right or give you a hug.. I have not spoken to for you awhile... God, I feel your pain so much right now.. Is anyone helping you at home?  I hope so..  I will be by myself soon and so so scared also.. I thought the valium was easier to get off.. I guess there is no way out of this but to go thru it...  You are getting thru it and YOU WILL...   I cannot watch tv also.. Cannot concentrate on anything at all...  Tess, besides the physical which I know they hurt you so bad, do you have any mental symtoms... I hope that is okay to ask you.. The physical symptoms are so bad, that you cannot get up right now.. I hope you are eating?  

Do you take a bath?  Try it with epsom salt.. What are the jerks? what is it?  God I wish I was there right now to help you..  Do you have any windows at all?  I hope so.. Please know you are in my heart right now.... Luv, Mishi PRAYING SO HARD FOR YOU

[[...]]

Hi Tess, big hug (((((Tess))))).

 

You will get through this. It is not the easiest thing to accomplish but it can be done. I found that my sxs were more intense when I was home, alone and in bed and my new comfort zone! I pushed myself to get outside, get in the car and back to work! The mind is incredible and it will adapt to the surroundings it is in. If you can just take a walk or sit outdoors for a while, it will do wonders!!!

 

Ask a friend to come over to have breakfast/lunch/dinner with you. Speak with a neighbor for a few minutes - force yourself out of the bed and keep moving. During my darkest days, my dearest friend showed up on my doorstep with lunch (turkey club and tomato basil bisque soup) and I cannot tell you how great it made me feel. I truly believe it was a breakthrough for me.     

 

Happy Wednesday!

Thanks for replying.

I cannot go for a walk. I used to be able to last year but my balance is badly affected. I DONT HAVE AGOROPHOBIA EITHER. I think IF you Read that some of the member's profiles some may say the same...also these Jerks I suffer its impossible to walk at times never mind WORK.

I'd love to work and be with people believe me......As for eating thats hard to know what to eat as my digestive system is very bad. So although do NOT like to complain thats the way it is for me. This is also the 3rd time of trying to get off Benzo's. I think maybe the more times you try to come off Benzo's it makes it that bit harder. I done it the Ashton Way far too quickly about 4 years ago. Then had bad advise with a forum who suggested I come off Effexor (big mistake) it was the start of my problems.. I should have left THIS in place. Was doing Voluntary Work at the time enjoyed it too meeting other's...Then I crashed and had to live with my Parents now they are too old...My Nerve Pain has just increased so much because of all this. Although I have Very bad physical pain am not depressed at all. Its the Upping/downing caused me Bad C.N.S.

wAS NOT WELL ENOUGH TO COMMUNICATE YESTERDAY AND WHEN i DO IT HAS TO BE IN SHORT BURSTS..THANKS ANYWAY

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I am here.   You can do this!!!! Just hold on. It will get better soon for you!!!   Patience!   It's ok to lie in bed, just relax, or try to relax and have faith that it will get better soon...

 

THANKS FOR COMMUNICATING WITH ME, YOUR VERY KIND. I AM TRYING MY HARDEST TO HANG IN THERE ITS VERY HARD BUT STILL DOING IT LAYING IN BED ALL DAY IS DRIVING ME CRAZY BUT HAVE NO CHOICE....yESTERDAY WAS SO BAD I COULD DO ONLY JUST GET MYSELF SOME FOOD TOGETHER NOTYTHING ELSE..THATS THE WAY UNFORTUNATELY IT IS FOR ME..AT THE MOMENT.....I HAVE TO ACCEPT THIS

[[...]]

I made these small cuts only a few weeks ago. 1st one drY cut of 0.25mgs was 6 weeks ago,(OF WHICH i AM FEELING NOW I EXPECT 2nd DRY Cut 0.25mgs dry cut was 7 weeks ago...

I am in such Terrible Pain all my Sxs ares so much worse. The Pain is so bad I am still bedridden. I dont have much easement at all.

If I was to tell all my wacko symptoms it would make members very wary of me I dont want this....I cannot sit here for too long as have these Jerks which makes everything so much worse to do...

Please somebody out there PLEASE tell me "I Can Get Through This"OR HOW THEY DONE IT IF NOTHIN GTHEY COULD DO OCCUPY THEIR MIND....I am so scared as have to look after myself. Its BAD W/D I know everyboyd has their own Private Hell but this is so hard to bear as nothing is as bad as laying I LAY bed all day with nothing to do to occupy my mind.

 

Tess, my heart goes out to you right now.. I am here with you.. I promise... I am so scared like you.. I wish I could help you right or give you a hug.. I have not spoken to for you awhile... God, I feel your pain so much right now.. Is anyone helping you at home?  I hope so..  I will be by myself soon and so so scared also.. I thought the valium was easier to get off.. I guess there is no way out of this but to go thru it...  You are getting thru it and YOU WILL...   I cannot watch tv also.. Cannot concentrate on anything at all...  Tess, besides the physical which I know they hurt you so bad, do you have any mental symtoms... I hope that is okay to ask you.. The physical symptoms are so bad, that you cannot get up right now.. I hope you are eating?  

Do you take a bath?  Try it with epsom salt.. What are the jerks? what is it?  God I wish I was there right now to help you..  Do you have any windows at all?  I hope so.. Please know you are in my heart right now.... Luv, Mishi PRAYING SO HARD FOR YOU

 

 

Dear Mishi,

I often think of you and Colleen...I was in too much pain yesterday so needed to rest... and just got my food together...I dont have mental symptoms, I have had them but learnt to know why it WAS happening at the time. but I cannot watch T.V or listen to radio...or read a book. I loved all these things..I have to get up but dont want too but have too for obvious reasons.... I do have a bath being clean is MY PRIORITY for now,if I could'nt bathe I would be mortified...I dont think I am having any windows NOW I have Cut. Although WAS having some Windows before I Cut...Although sometimes my pain eases off for a couple of hours and when I sleep. the Jerks I suffer are called muyoclonic Jerks it is Involuntary spasms of which you have NO control of and makes my pain worse when all I want to do is lay still. dont think this will happen to you just because I am telling you this I dont want to scare you ....they dont bother me as much as my Pain Nerve//Muscular.

Thank You Mish for communicating. You post and spell okay I am sure you will be Okay One Day....I Pray and did not expect it to take as long as this...but will endure as you will no choice we have...Thanks Mishi Take Care....

Luv Tess