I wanted to update my situation

[[Ma...]]

I haven't posted in a long time. I don't know how much of an inspiration I can be, considering I tapered slowly and did everything right. I feel like the medications I took while tapering saved my nervous system because I was always able to take supplements. I take fish oil, phosphatidylserine, alpha-gpc, TMG, and others. Currently, I use mucuna pruriens, a standard single dose, usually every other day but never use two days in a row to avoid tolerance issues. I use mucuna pruriens in the evening a few hours before bedtime. It enhances deep sleep and helps me recover. Sometimes I'll take l-tyrosine or phenylethylamine HCl.

I run usually every other day for either 60 or 90 minutes (6-10 miles). Usually zone 2 but it becomes zone 3 towards the end because I usually pick up the pace. I average 150bpm overall, and range from 130-180bpm. I'm 39 years old. 6ft. 165lbs, 10% body fat. I'm not on any steroids or gear. I may consider testosterone if I needed it though because low testosterone is associated with poor cardiovascular health and bad lipid panels. After my run I do pull ups, push ups, sit ups, dips for the rest of day until I go to bed, but at my leisure. I am pretty much in good shape I think.

I'm still using cannabis every day but less overall, with an herbal vaporizer. I don't use it in the mornings anymore but I do want to try to quit because it is getting in the way of me achieving certain goals, like getting better at guitar and making more money. I feel like weed makes me more lazy. It feels like I'm fighting inertia during transitional states of being inactive and then active. I still feel great though. I don't really have much cognitive impairment besides the short term memory loss while on it. My brain feels alive though, like it's working. I have more mental images, a storm of thoughts and ideas all the time. I should probably just try to quit weed and heal more.

After I run I feel high as kite. I feel like James Brown honestly in that doped up interview. I feel good...I look good...I smell good...this is a mans world...etc.

I feel hypomanic but in a good way. My brain feels healthier. Once a week, I use a 7mg nicotine patch for focus and that seems to be really helping my brain too. I only use the patch though. The gum will create the NNN metabolite which is a carcinogen. Nicotine is not a carcinogen.

It took me a long time to get the courage to run like this and I did it slow. I run every other day to make sure I'm recovered. I take two days off running when needed.

I think running heals the brain, along with resistance training. I didn't notice any substantial mental benefits from running until I started running 45 minutes. An hour is the sweet spot, 90 minutes for days you want to build endurance. If I get panic attacks from edibles now I barely flinch they are so mild. It feels like the cells in my body are stronger and more resilient to all forms of stress. If you guys want to heal this helps.

I also started learning about non duality. I read a few books from this author Rupert Spira. It really helped me, on my quest to become a calmer and happier person. Life itself is happiness. The trick is to detach from the illusion of thought and perception and just sink into being, or awareness itself.

Edited December 16, 2023 by [Ma...]

[[Ma...]]

Well, I ended up getting covid 3 weeks ago for the first time that I know of. I guess my dad caught it from my grandpa. My dad had to clean him because he found him collapsed on the floor in his apartment. And a few days later he was sick, then I was sick the next day. I had fever and chills, then mild symptoms. I ended up quitting weed completely because of covid. I took about 3 weeks off running and exercising while dealing with covid too. But I'm back easing my way into it. I'm running 60 minutes again at 6 miles. I'll do that for a while. I learned a few breathing techniques to dramatically lower HR and BP while running. One thing I do, is I slow down the pace and breath deeply, and inhale through my nose as much as I can, then I inhale more air through my mouth, then exhale through my mouth. I repeat that a few times. Then a double inhale through my nose and slowly exhale to release excess CO2. You basically breath through the nose and pause real quick and then breath more air through the nose again a second time in quick succession, then exhale. I eat a low saturated fat diet mostly but not too low, like around 10-15g a day usually. I made up my mind to quit weed completely for at least a few years. I still am going to use peptides, nootropics, supplements, and psychedelics when I feel I need to. If I return to weed in a few years I will only use it a few times a month and avoid daily use. So far my main symptoms off weed are insomnia, a better memory, mania, vivid dreams, and a strong desire to put it behind me. My sleep is slowly improving though. Hopefully, things get better.

[[Pa...]]

Hi @[Ma...], its good to see you again.  I’m sorry to hear you got Covid but it looks like you’re doing well in many ways, I’m glad.  It’s great you’re running, it sounds like it works for you. 

[[Ma...]]

Thanks Pamster. Running does help but it isn't easy and it took me a long time to be able to get here. I've never ran in my life before benzo addiction. I basically smoked cigarettes since I was 16 and lived with smokers. I'm in better shape now than I was when I was in high school. I earned this the hard way. I'm not saying that I'm an elite runner or anything because I'm not. I'm a complete beginner. I haven't smoked in a long time either. I'm lucky in that I get the runners high and I enjoy running assuming I feel good. It's a blessing. It does seem to help heal the brain. I realize I need to stay away from weed to completely heal from everything. I just wasn't ready. I think I am now.

I'm surprised I never got Covid before. Maybe I did. I have a feeling I just got slammed by a big viral load this time around because my dad got close to my grandfather when he found him on the ground. Who knows though.

Edited January 30 by [Ma...]