Help!

[[Ho...]]

Hello-

looking for anyone that can relate— I don’t have any interests that I used to.  (Family, work, money,clothes, etc)- it’s like that part of my brain is turned off.  Literally no motivation or positive emotions.  I feel like my personality is gone as well.  Does this make sense and did you experience this as well?

[[me...]]

Hi hopeful 4 I'm much in the same place..... depersonalisation I look in the mirror I feel don't know my self I used to live going out walking meeting friends don't want to do it yesterday when I had to go to hospital again I was panicking my throat closed up. I couldn't decide what to wear I don't watch TV and can't concentrate.  I don't like answering the door some one more knowledgable will sure to come along.  ......we are all in this together on BBS wishing you well 🙏

[[ph...]]

I know exactly what you’re talking about @[Ho...]. It goes beyond just “anhedonia”. I lost myself, fully.

I want to assure you that this gets better: I’m 10 months off benzos, and I got my personality back right around 9.5 months

I absolutely lost my personality. Around 9 months I felt myself turn a true corner, and it was a feeling I could only describe as getting my personality back, and hey, so far I still have it. It continues to be a breath of fresh air, even when things get horrible.

I have my hobbies and interests back, my sense of joy is back… I swear to you I thought I lost it. I KNEW I lost it.

I struggled immensely with anhedonia. I didn’t enjoy ANYTHING, not even eating, and I’m a sugar addict. Didn’t get pleasure from anything at all. Was literally just surviving, if you can even call it that. My heart was beating.

And yes, I lost my interests. For example, I play guitar… but let’s say month 2 or so, even a memory of me playing guitar would spark literally zero connection with my soul. Like okay, a meatsack with a face that’s supposed to play mine played guitar. I’ll get back to panicking and writhing now.

Please hang in there, hopeful. I’ve struggled with severe depression my whole life, and for a while there I went from a 0 to a -1000. I’m hugely cynical towards myself too, and it still got better for me. It’ll get better for you my friend.

How long have you been off benzos? Have you felt depressed before? I wanted to add one more thing: I had zero passion for life by the time I started benzos, and now, I feel a passion that wasn’t really there before.

Continue to hang in there my friend... It’s gonna get better, okay? Hope things are going well for you and wishing you the best. Stay in touch, we’re here for you.