This doesn’t end

[[Go...]]

I took more than most, for a longer time.   I have no options left. It’s fear all the time. It doesn’t go away without pills.

Edited November 27, 2023 by [Go...]

[[Go...]]

.

Edited November 19, 2023 by [Go...]

[[...]]

30 years klon but lower amount. 13 months off. Still sick but better. I kept a log.

[[de...]]

@[Go...]  Sorry you are struggling so much!    While 7 mgs is a high dose, I know of other members who were on it for longer and at a higher dose.     I know it is so easy to think that if we reinstate that things will improve, but this is not always the case.    Sometimes reinstating does help, but sometimes it makes things worse.    At the end of the day, you need to decide for yourself what is best.    

[[Go...]]

On 19/11/2023 at 15:37, [[d...] said:

@[Go...]  Sorry you are struggling so much!    While 7 mgs is a high dose, I know of other members who were on it for longer and at a higher dose.     I know it is so easy to think that if we reinstate that things will improve, but this is not always the case.    Sometimes reinstating does help, but sometimes it makes things worse.    At the end of the day, you need to decide for yourself what is best.    

@[de...]i would love to hear of any BB members at that high of a dose.  I’m always told about Pamster, and I appreciate her reaching out, but I don’t know of anyone else anywhere near 7 mgs??  Just anyone PLEASE! close to 7 mgs over 21 years?!??  Until I “meet” someone, they don’t exist through other people.  Sorry if that’s rude, but I’ve been hearing about these people for 9 1/2 mos.  IT IS totally different, and worse at such a high dose for so long.  I am more messed up than anyone on here, and 9 1/2 months has done nothing to change my opinion about that.

Edited November 27, 2023 by [Go...]

[[de...]]

On 16/10/2023 at 12:38, [[L...] said:

@[Be...] I am so glad that you have been sharing your story with the NAD.  I am new to this forum and I have been trying to do a lot of reading up on NAD to possibly use myself.  I am currently on 2 mg of valium and have been considering the patches.  I did order the nasal spray to see how my body responds to the NAD.  I have been dosing down for 4 years now.  I started on 8 mg of klonopin a day, once I was at 1 mg of klonopin we switched to 30 mgs of valium.  I have been dosing do from there.  I have about every w/d symptom you can think of (almost) and just currently taking the 2 mg of Valium.  My doctor currently has me on Wellbutrin for depression, gabapentin to help with w/d (300 mg/day), and a low does of Remeron to sleep.  If you have any thoughts of suggestions I would be happy to hear them.  

Here you go, Lisaloo5565 started tapering when she was at 8 mg klonopin.   Now it does not say in this post how long she was on that amount.  She has been tapering for 4 years.

She just posted this on 10/16/2023.   

[[An...]]

@[de...]

Post the link to @[Li...] .

Hang in there @[Go...]. You sound like you are still struggling badly.

What are your worst SXs now?

[[Go...]]

2 hours ago, [[A...] said:

@[de...]

Post the link to @[Li...] .

Hang in there @[Go...]. You sound like you are still struggling badly.

What are your worst SXs now?

Fear. Constant fear. And depression.

[[An...]]

So no physical.......just mental SX's?

 

[[...]]

I don’t think dose and time on are the ultimate deciders. I think a lot of it is genetics. You can be like pamster who cold turkeyed from a lot of kpin and recovered rather quickly and then there are people like me. I was on 1.5mg a day of Xanax for only 2 months and 2 years later I still have severe hypnic jerks that keep me from having any kind of decent sleep. That lack of sleep has almost made me lose touch with reality. So what I am saying is, don’t get caught up in dose and length of time. 

Edited November 20, 2023 by [...]

[[Th...]]

Gonzo, according to your logic, since I  never met you in person, you don't exist?  See how flawed that is?  As a person thinks, so they are.  If you want to play the game of "I took more than anyone else for a lot longer, so I'll never heal", then that is your business.  BUT your mind ALWAYS go to the extreme negative and thinks the worst, hopes for the worst and expects the worst.  It's simply part of the WD process.  You CAN get past this.  Providing proof that others were on just as high or a higher dose than you and for the same amount of time or longer is going to do ZERO to affect how you heal and recover since no two withdrawal experiences are exactly alike.  Good luck!

Edited November 20, 2023 by [Th...]

[[Go...]]

On 20/11/2023 at 08:05, [[T...] said:

Gonzo, according to your logic, since I  never met you in person, you don't exist?  See how flawed that is?  As a person thinks, so they are.  If you want to play the game of "I took more than anyone else for a lot longer, so I'll never heal", then that is your business.  BUT your mind ALWAYS go to the extreme negative and thinks the worst, hopes for the worst and expects the worst.  It's simply part of the WD process.  You CAN get past this.  Providing proof that others were on just as high or a higher dose than you and for the same amount of time or longer is going to do ZERO to affect how you heal and recover since no two withdrawal experiences are exactly alike.  Good luck!

I don’t know what this means?  All I know is I’m the worst, with a fear of standing on the earth, and earth floating in space.  It’s mental illness that was shielded  by the Klonopin.

Edited November 27, 2023 by [Go...]

[[Th...]]

Most people on this forum think they have the worst withdrawal or some unique type of withdrawal no one else ever had.  I've been here a long time and I've seen people say they would never heal, only to eventually heal and say "you were right all along, but I couldn't wrap my mind around what you were trying to tell me when I was suffering."  Good luck!

Edited November 21, 2023 by [Th...]

[[An...]]

15 hours ago, [[G...] said:

I don’t know what this means?  All I know is I’m the worst, with a fear of standing on the earth, and earth floating in space.  It’s mental illness that was shielded  by the Klonopin. Klonopin is what worked, not abstinence.

If the Klonopin was working, why were you taking 7 mgs? You were clearly becoming more and more tolerant and sick on the drug. Max. therapeutic dose of Klonopin = typically 1MG. I took only .5 mgs for almost 13 years IIRC before tolerance started. Then, I became extremely sick. If you really think you need the Klonopin, I do not understand why you would be posting on a forum like benzobuddies. I would simply go back on the Klonopin. I think you know in your heart of hearts what the Klonopin was doing to you.

Edited November 21, 2023 by [An...]
grammar correction

[[Go...]]

4 hours ago, [[A...] said:

If the Klonopin was working, why were you taking 7 mgs? You were clearly becoming more and more tolerant and sick on the drug. Max. therapeutic dose of Klonopin = typically 1MG. I took only .5 mgs for almost 13 years IIRC before tolerance started. Then, I became extremely sick. If you really think you need the Klonopin, I do not understand why you would be posting on a forum like benzobuddies. I would simply go back on the Klonopin. I think you know in your heart of hearts what the Klonopin was doing to you.

Because I want to stop taking Klonopin, but I really don’t believe I should.  After 9+ months of this, nothing has improved, it not gotten worse.  I can’t live this way, and I don’t feel I can without taking medication.

[[Go...]]

Is this still symptoms from stopping Klonopin, or am I this anxious and scared always and need medicine/help?

[[An...]]

Why were you taking 7 mgs? How much did you start out taking?

[[An...]]

57 minutes ago, [[G...] said:

Because I want to stop taking Klonopin, but I really don’t believe I should.  

This is not a good reason to stop taking a medication you claim was still helping you more than harming you. You had some other reason IMO for wanting to come off the klonopin. When I was on klonopin, my intention was to stay on it for the remainder of my life.....that was until it quit working and starting making me extremely sick.

Edited November 21, 2023 by [An...]
grammar correction

[[Go...]]

1.5 mgs in 2002, which went up to 4 by 2018, then 7 by 2021

[[Go...]]

That’s what I’m trying to say. There is no good reason to stop taking this.  I had calm moments, albeit small, but moments. Now there is nothing but suffering. All I read on BB is extreme suffering followed by some claiming they got better.  But others stating they didn’t see any improvement years later.  This is not living and I don’t feel there is any improvement happening.  Life has some relief on the medication, and 9 months not having them is awful.  There are no windows or whatever you call it, just more mental suffering.

Edited November 21, 2023 by [Go...]
Addition

[[Go...]]

I don’t even feel comfortable in a car.  This isn’t living.

[[An...]]

Just now, [[G...] said:

1.5 mgs in 2002, which went up to 4 by 2018, then 7 by 2021

Ok...just as I figured....tolerance. You did not quit the drug. The drug was quitting on you IMO. That is why you chose to stop taking it. You know going back on this drug is not the answer I believe. You will only become more tolerant and more sick. I know you are suffering badly. When we are in this state, we start to grasp at straws and start thinking of ways to rationalize why taking the drug was helping you.

[[Go...]]

But you mention being “in this state”?  There is no other state.  If this is all about mindset, then I’m a goner because I have absolutely no reason to believe things will ever get better.

[[An...]]

Just bc you are in this state now does not mean you are going to be in this state forever. Your brain is probably still screaming for this drug after 21 years of being a part of its natural brain chemistry. It is probably going to take a while for the neuroadaptations caused by 21 years of klonopin use to reverse.

[[An...]]

36 minutes ago, [[G...] said:

That’s what I’m trying to say. There is no good reason to stop taking this.  I had calm moments, albeit small, but moments. Now there is nothing but suffering. All I read on BB is extreme suffering followed by some claiming they got better.  But others stating they didn’t see any improvement years later.  This is not living and I don’t feel there is any improvement happening.  Life has some relief on the medication, and 9 months not having them is awful.  There are no windows or whatever you call it, just more mental suffering.

If you truly feel there is more benefit to taking the klonopin than risk, I would start back taking it. No one here is going to judge you for your decision even tho this website's mission is to help and support those who are trying to come off this stuff bc there is now more risk than benefit due to drug tolerance.

Do you have a doctor willing to Rx you 7 mgs of K per day?