7months and still not feeling good

[[An...]]

I’m at seven months and let me say it’s been a real rough time 

I’m not sure if I’m permanently this way or if anything Will get better it’s taken a toll on me in every way I’m so fearful and I do not want to be in public also have a lot of pain I can’t drive still and memory is aweful I tried to make pancakes that was a chore- I have aweful reflux snd im trying hard to take a few vitamins because my hair and skin are suffering awefully - sometimes I wonder if I’m just stuck this way and also bad scalp issues I pray daily to let me heal no one understand what’s happened to me I’m exhausted too- anyone else have this please tell me what your story is or if you got better o need hope please to shower is such a chore it’s an every other day thing - please I need hope and my eyes are so dry mouth skin it’s just aweful what this stuff does - I’m alone so I need a friend 🙏🙏🙏

[[Am...]]

Hey @[An...] You are not alone in this. I actually found this community today because I was trying to figure out what is going on with my hair. My last does was over 8 months ago and boy has it been a rollercoaster. My hair is suffering, my nails. I look pretty rough, and I have lost over 50lbs in weight. However, I am getting better. I feel so much better than I have felt in a long while. The days keep getting better. 

But worst of all, the state of mind I can be thrown into. I think the scariest past of this was when I hit month 3-7, why was I still having the reoccurring episodes? It made me wonder if my brain was permanently damaged. I was worried I would always feel the terror attacks and panic attacks. Feeling extremely shaken when I woke in the morning- intense anxiety.  I feel insane at times, but then the rebound symptoms subside. They get further apart and do not last as long. Please note this is only temporary. I am at work, writing to you right now and I want you to know there is hope. Stick with it. The waves will come and go, but get fewer and fewer apart. Remind yourself, this is only TEMPORARY.

Try not to give into your intrusive thoughts and fears. This shall too pass. 

[[An...]]

Hi I’m nauseous all day long though and bad headaches eyes are bad snd sooo tired even though I actually don’t do anything I feel so bad I’m scared to go to the store and sometimes getting in the car is just scarey I’m not going anywhere so thirsty all the time and welps came up on my face I try to just nit think about it but it’s consuming yes I lost about 15 and miss my once happy self - I can’t find any joy yet and really hope it’s in there somewhere I’m sorry about your hair and skin mine is the same way I hope and pray something changes how long were you on and what was it ? 

[[Am...]]

So I was on Clonaepam for 12 years. My last dose was January 18th 2023. My Doctor just stopped prescribing it to me. I was on 1 mg 2x a day. I tapered myself off. I took the last refill they gave me and stretched it out over 5 months and then stopped.

I thought I was going crazy. It comes and goes. I stayed hydrated and started eating better. But the agoraphobia is real side affect. Your brain is just trying to balance itself out. You may feel like no one know what you are experiencing, but many people do. It is terrifying but please know you are going to be okay. For a long while I didn't think I was going to get better. It is almost like trial and error for my brain. I finally have learned how to trust myself when the "rebound" episodes occur for me.

You cant think straight, and reach this complete feeling of defeat. I think month 5,6,7 was so rough for me because I thought "for sure I should be better and healed" That is not the care. This is a long Journey and everyone takes different amounts of time. I just want you to know what you are going through is normal. It is terrible, and super frustrating. Month 8 has been really good for me. I have had a few episodes, but it feels like a i have turned a corner. 

[[An...]]

Oh thank you so much for sharing this yes I’m terrified I do know there is sone damage diffanantly I’m having to relearn things and cooking nope that’s not my thing right now I’m also having aweful bought of fear  it’s so real too - no one could imagine this is horrible and I hate that people are still prescribed these I can’t work so I’m here all day trying to watch tv witch sometimes I can’t do that - totally my head hurts a lot constant headaches but ct scan showed nothing I pray a lot and stay to myself - have bad nausea and body hurts  too but I’m handing in there need to go to the store but I can tell you that’s a major chore and I do look sickly noe praying this changes I don’t have support through this no one believes it lasts this long 

but your encouraging did you have any nausea headaches  Mine is still with me pkease share I need a friend thank you 

[[Am...]]

@[An...] The headaches were constant. I felt besides myself constantly. Almost as though I was in the twilight zone. The nausea, definitely. This is normal. I also had a huge issue with my balance being off and loss of equilibrium. Everything in my brain was yelling at my body. The thoughts become fear induced self diagnosis’s. Try to remind yourself this is just the withdrawals. There are so many wonderful people who are going through the same thing you are at this moment. You are not alone. 
 

[[Ch...]]

14 hours ago, [[A...] said:

So I was on Clonaepam for 12 years. My last dose was January 18th 2023. My Doctor just stopped prescribing it to me. I was on 1 mg 2x a day. I tapered myself off. I took the last refill they gave me and stretched it out over 5 months and then stopped.

I thought I was going crazy. It comes and goes. I stayed hydrated and started eating better. But the agoraphobia is real side affect. Your brain is just trying to balance itself out. You may feel like no one know what you are experiencing, but many people do. It is terrifying but please know you are going to be okay. For a long while I didn't think I was going to get better. It is almost like trial and error for my brain. I finally have learned how to trust myself when the "rebound" episodes occur for me.

You cant think straight, and reach this complete feeling of defeat. I think month 5,6,7 was so rough for me because I thought "for sure I should be better and healed" That is not the care. This is a long Journey and everyone takes different amounts of time. I just want you to know what you are going through is normal. It is terrible, and super frustrating. Month 8 has been really good for me. I have had a few episodes, but it feels like a i have turned a corner. 

Did you work during your taper. 

[[Am...]]

@[Ch...] I had to work through all of this. I was only able to take a week off work when I took my last dose. I had no choice. It has been really rough but I feel like it may help me at times to keep busy. I know that is not what we want to hear, because most of the time I am just so tired of fighting this battle.

[[Ch...]]

I am starting my taper if 2mg soon I’m tolerance after being on it since 2008. I need to work I am alone and scared. My job itself is stressful and demanding. I travel all the time. I am petrified. 

[[pi...]]

@[An...],

I was not healed at 7 months, in fact, I was still in the thick of things. Days were pretty exhausting because I was trying to get back some of the things I lost while on benzos and withdrawal. Sometimes I pushed too hard and paid for it. I had glimmers of windows which was something to enjoy. I took my first trip cross country at 9 months. I was not going to miss that trip. While I was symptomatic, it was amazing how well I did. It’s all part of the process, sometimes one step forward and two steps back. All the while, I clung to that glimpse of light at the end of the tunnel, knowing and believing that recovery was ahead for me. It was.

 

• pianogirl 

[[An...]]

I’m so very sick and in so much pain I have very bad acid reflux and my body is just so tired and not sure how to get thru this - I’m waking up in sweats and surf it’s been ipyause also but I’m so tired and can’t even get to the store I’m hurting