Struggling a bit

[[tr...]]

Sorry to anyone reading this rant but just wanted to vent for a bit as this afternoon/evening has been a little rough. Haven't cut yet and its been 4.5 weeks since first cut from xanax and have been holding. I plan on holding for another two weeks. No reason why except wanting to go super slow since i cut quite a bit. Cutting less going forward and holding 2-3 weeks or until my body tells me otherwise. Was going between 1mg/1.5 mgs per day and went down to .75 4.5 weeks ago. Having ups and downs throughout the past few weeks, still functional for the most part.  I know it could be way worse, so im grateful but i cant help but have a bad feeling about the future curs and that it will be 100x worse than the first cut. Haven't thrown up in over a week but ate some garlic bread for dinner that did not sit well with me so ended up nauseous and puking. Feeling jittery and a bit dizzy. Pushing through bc i have no choice but feeling super crummy. Sorry for the rant. I know some people are going through worse and i sympathize heavily for you...

i keep praying and i know with time, this will come to an end... it has to right?

So scared of my next cut but cant wait at the same time if that makes any sense. Cant help but dream about writing my success story in the future and reassuring everyone this too shall pass. 

going to take a hot shower, put a funny movie on and snuggle with my hubby. Hopefully that will make me feel better or at least distract me enough!!!!!

x 

[[En...]]

I hope you are doing well as this is an old post and deserves a response. 

It is good you are going slow. This will keep your symptoms at bay. Too many people go fast to try to get off the medication quickly only to have severe withdrawal symptoms and reinstate their dose kindling their brains and causing more damage. You will have issues with future tapers if you go fast and cut when you feel bad. Listen to your body and taper when you feel good. Let your brain catch up and heal before you move on. That's the best way to be successful in getting off this horrible medication. 

[[kn...]]

I’ve practically done myself in from agreeing to a disastrous,  rapid taper. Most of it has occurred due to my provider’s obsessively cutting of my scripts. After two years, I’m now with another provider who is all about healing, micr tapering and compassion for yourself.  It’s saved me. Don’t focus on the end of all of this. Concentrate on staying well and living your life while you’re going through it. It’s not a race and torturing yourself isn’t necessary.  

[[En...]]

Just now, [[k...] said:

I’ve practically done myself in from agreeing to a disastrous,  rapid taper. Most of it has occurred due to my provider’s obsessively cutting of my scripts. After two years, I’m now with another provider who is all about healing, micr tapering and compassion for yourself.  It’s saved me. Don’t focus on the end of all of this. Concentrate on staying well and living your life while you’re going through it. It’s not a race and torturing yourself isn’t necessary.  

Go slow and listen to your body. You want a successful taper not a failing one. You want off these devil meds. 

[[si...]]

On 13/09/2023 at 01:42, [[t...] said:

Sorry to anyone reading this rant but just wanted to vent for a bit as this afternoon/evening has been a little rough. Haven't cut yet and its been 4.5 weeks since first cut from xanax and have been holding. I plan on holding for another two weeks. No reason why except wanting to go super slow since i cut quite a bit. Cutting less going forward and holding 2-3 weeks or until my body tells me otherwise. Was going between 1mg/1.5 mgs per day and went down to .75 4.5 weeks ago. Having ups and downs throughout the past few weeks, still functional for the most part.  I know it could be way worse, so im grateful but i cant help but have a bad feeling about the future curs and that it will be 100x worse than the first cut. Haven't thrown up in over a week but ate some garlic bread for dinner that did not sit well with me so ended up nauseous and puking. Feeling jittery and a bit dizzy. Pushing through bc i have no choice but feeling super crummy. Sorry for the rant. I know some people are going through worse and i sympathize heavily for you...

i keep praying and i know with time, this will come to an end... it has to right?

So scared of my next cut but cant wait at the same time if that makes any sense. Cant help but dream about writing my success story in the future and reassuring everyone this too shall pass. 

going to take a hot shower, put a funny movie on and snuggle with my hubby. Hopefully that will make me feel better or at least distract me enough!!!!!

x 

You sound super sweet. I really mean it! If you rant: why not? why apologies; why believe others suffer way more. You dont know, you suffer in your context and only you make that experience. Comparing to others made my suffering worse. 
Why not eat healthy, or whatever feels good for you? I dont want to sound like a preacher, but i do.
So you gonna have a nice hot shower, fkc i love it too, or a bath; sometimes you cant beat it.
I just saw your post is months old, that shower was ages ago.

How you doing now?