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Is it normal to feel like a failure and bad Mom


[De...]

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I used to be a high functioning woman that was a rockstar Mom. Since this benzo taper I barely make it through the day and feel like such a failure and bad Mom. How do I convince myself otherwise? I am down to .52 mg from 1.0 mg of Clonazapam. God I need strength. This is too hard. 

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As a single father of 3 twenty- something girls,  I would say if there was any time to focus on yourself and your health,  that time is now. 

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Those darn intrusive thoughts are rough, they constantly beat us down.  I don’t know how you can turn off those thoughts, I wasn’t very successful, but as I recovered, the thoughts quit kicking me when I was down.  

Are your kids old enough to understand what you’re going through, can you talk to them about how you’re feeling and maybe get some reassurance from them?  This process affects the whole family. 

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@[Pa...]It is affecting all of us. They are young but old enough to know something is wrong with Mom. It’s all not fair. Do the intrusive thoughts stop? I used to be a rockstar Mom and I want that back so badly. 

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Yes, the intrusive thoughts stop, they’re part of the lies the drug tells us, so many members have contributed to this thread, saying the same things you have. This thread is in the archives so you won’t be able to add the lies you’re hearing but you can see you’re not alone.

And by the way, you’ll be a Rockstar Mom again, but the gratitude you’re going to feel is so awesome, you’ll appreciate every moment because it feels so good to feel good again. 

 

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Hi Determined, so truly sorry you are going through this. I have this feeling very often. Yesterday I told a friend that I felt bad being so incompetent. She kindly, but firmly, corrected me saying you're not incompetent at all, you're sick right now. The words helped a lot yesterday, but I'm going to have to repeat them a lot, because I'm right back in it today. 

Sending healing thoughts your way. Anna

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Totally get this - I am a Father, but I feel a failure most days due to this experience...its hard to keep going but we have to!

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When my thoughts really get to me they are the bad mom theme.  I know in my heart that I did my best during some harsh circumstances outside of myself. Stay strong

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@[De...]this is my worse symptom. My biggest accomplishment in my life was being a great  Dad to my kids…. I coached my kids in sports and was present with them all the time never would miss an event. Now I’m so fatigued and weak that they aren’t getting but 10 percent of me. I pray with time my energy comes back and they can have me back present and active in their life. Them and my Wife are my why! 

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@[De...]  You are so not alone in these feelings.  My girls are adults now.  You would think that would make a difference...but, it doesn't.  I am now living with my one daughter as I move through this.  I have pretty bad episodes...and, my mind is gone during them.  I become a terrified child, and what I do and say is horrifying for your child to watch...even when they are adults.  And, I can't help but feel as though I will forever be seen differently.  Being a mom has always been the most important thing to me.  I have not been a perfect mom...healthy or like this.  But, I love with everything I am...even moving through this.  I have fallen short many times...but, falling short as I go through this is different.  I feel it is different because I have no control over my brain right now.  My behaviour is so often so much out of my control...and, I observe it but cannot correct it.  My daughters feel as though they have lost their mother, and it hurts so much.  I hope when I heal, that damage will be able to be repaired.  All I can do is pray for that to happen.  In the meantime, I just do my best when I can and also try my hardest not to berate myself.  It's not been easy to let myself off the hook.

@[An...]  My best friend has said the exact same thing to me because I, too, need to be reminded.  When I hear it...and, she says it sternly to me, too...I have a hard time hearing it.  Not sure exactly why...maybe because I spend so much time trying to pretend this isn't happening?  Which isn't useful because I then place very unrealistic expectations on myself which are ridiculous.  We are not well right now...that is the truth of it.

To all of us...we are wonderful parents.  We really, really are.  We are also human.  We have got to have more compassion for ourselves.  We just have to.  We have to work on this everyday because we deserve it as much as those we are showing compassion for right now, right here.  We all come on to support the feelings of others...to validate them.  Then, we shame ourselves for the same thing.  

Much Love and Healing.

Warmly,

 

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