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A Cold Turkey and 2 Tapers in 18 Months...


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...please tell me there is someone out there who has been misguided enough to do something like this to their brain...and then please tell me that they survived this horror...

 

Almost 90 days.  The first 30 were very hard but not impossible.  The last 60 have gotten progressively worse.  The benzo brain and DP/DR make me feel like any minute I'm going to lose it and that I am going to be institutionalized.  I spend 90% of the day just trying to hold on desperately to any sense of reality, hope or whatever.

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[b0...]

Maranatha,

I've done three ct's since last Sept.  The only thing I didn't do was a taper.  I'm thirteen weeks benzo free this time - and I'm never going back to benzos. 

I'll agree that the symptoms have increased in month two to three.  I no longer have the brain fog, but still have nausea, dizziness and crippling anxiety upon waking. 

  I haven't had it easy, but I'm finally starting to improve.  I know you will do the same.  Is there anything that's gotten better for you? I've seen some things come and go, only to see new symptoms pop up.

 

I think all of my ct's and reinstatements were a sort of taper in a way - not that I condone this course of action to anyone - but I think if I had ct'd and never went back, I might have suffered more...

 

In any event, I wish you the best. Hope you feel better soon :)

 

Nicole

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Thanks Nicole!  Of course I always look for ways that other people are doing better than me...I took benzos 3 other times in the 7 years prior to this, so I think I've over time totally messed myself up.  You're probably younger than me too which is why you are healing better?

 

Of things getting better...I don't feel like my brain is "burned" like I did before.  Everything else is pretty much the same or worse.  I wish the benzo brain would ease because it would make it easier to fight the other stuff. 

 

We are all different, I know!  Sorry to whine...really bad day.

 

God bless you for responding!!!

Love,

Mary

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[15...]

OH Mary,

that is how I spend my day as well.  I was just going to shout how unbearable this depression is.  I so hope you feel better.  And look at what you just shouted  amazing how the brain can heal..  so see.. 

 

does it happen to talk about benzo's or have you gotten that far?

 

Blessings to you,

Mamie

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In two years I

 

CTd Cocaine

 

CTd Meth Amphetamine

 

Ctd zolpidem (twice)

 

Ctd ambien (twice)

 

Ctd Etizolam (z drug)

 

Ctd Xanax

 

Ctd Alcohol

 

 

I did all this in 2 years and am now about 80% better and working full time again,  I do think there are some permanent changes that won't resolve but for the most part I'm happy with the progress.

 

The only thing that allowed me to progress this far is wanting my old self back at any cost and being willing to pay any price it took.  I don't believe healing just happens, it has to be worked at very very hard.

 

 

 

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I have the same fears as this is my second go around.....I also have ssri to taper too....

 

Amano I'm copying that off.....That is really powerful.....I'm going to go thru your posts.....Were you only on ssri 1x?

 

What an accomplishment.....

 

Pam

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Were you only on ssri 1x?

 

 

Pam

 

I wasn't prescribed ANY of the meds, I took them to get high and for no other reason.

 

I took zoloft for about 2 months, because when I took in high enough doses it gave me the same effect as taking cocaine and ecstasy.  I was taking a strip on 12 x 50mg every night when out drinking.  So yes, I did CT that too.

 

fun fun fun.

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OK Amano...touche...I need to quit whining.  I'm working it because I can't let it determine my future no matter how horrid it is right now and may be.  Very encouraging story...appreciate your honesty and your time!  Great to hear you are doing so well!!

 

Love,

Mary

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I'm working it because I can't let it determine my future no matter how horrid it is right now and may be. 

 

Love,

Mary

 

 

And that is the EXACT thought that will free you from the drugs and set you free,  you determine you own fate, no one else.

 

 

Lock that thought away and treasure it every day.  :thumbsup:

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Amano, its amazing how much you learn from people on this forum. Good stuff... 

 

Indeed.

 

Thanks.

 

We are alive and that is the main thing, we can work with what we have to get to where we want to be, even if we don't get there, it's better to burn out trying than to just let it happen to us. 

 

 

 

 

That's what I believe.

 

 

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In the past 18 months I..

 

c/t'ed 10 years of Suboxone

c/t'ed god only knows how much K (over 8mg/day)

Tapered 8mg of K down to 3mg

c/t'ed 3mg of K

and finally (and perhaps most brutally of all!) tapered 1mg of K

 

Can't say I have reached any sort of light at the end of the tunnel, but I'm still surviving, and so will you Mary... maybe we'll see the light together :)

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Incredible Pete!!!  Love you and praying for you!

 

Thanks again Amano...rather burn out trying than giving in as well!!

 

Love,

Mary

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...please tell me there is someone out there who has been misguided enough to do something like this to their brain...and then please tell me that they survived this horror...

 

Almost 90 days.  The first 30 were very hard but not impossible.  The last 60 have gotten progressively worse.  The benzo brain and DP/DR make me feel like any minute I'm going to lose it and that I am going to be institutionalized.  I spend 90% of the day just trying to hold on desperately to any sense of reality, hope or whatever.

 

Dear Maranatha, How are you doing? I know that you have been thru alot and wisth to god that there is relief for you right now.. I know you have been on several benzos.. I am in a bad state right now getting off Klonopin.. A family who does not accept me, Kids to live for... I am so desperate  right now... Just like you were and are... I am so sorry for your pain.. We are both about the same ages.. I am 50 years old... I would like to know which benzo was easier for you to get off of... Please Marantha, Let me know.. I am so sick from the Klonopin.... Can swithch soon to valium if I choose too. i will be at 1mg of K soon.  My family thinks I am nuts and I suffer terribly.. Please, which in your opinion would possible be the route to take with the benzo...  the valium will take me longer to get off, but the Klonipin is horrific... I only have 1mg left which I had mentioned.. Please from mom to mom I really need advise from you... I respect you and know that you could posssibly give me something to go on.... Please be well... Know that I care about your pain and suffering.. I truly do....  Luv, Mishi

Cannot go on this way want to make a change but do not know if it would possibly make a difference... There are some bb that say it is better... I know a benzo is a benzo but there has to be something that has to change for me someone that knows something that I do not..... thank you with all of my heart...

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[7a...]

Mary,

 

I have C/T'ed many things, too many to list, but here's a few-

 

Effexor, this was a no no for sure! To me, it was almost as bad as Benzo Withdrawal, in my experience.

 

Ativan, but had no w/d.

 

Tegretol, Remeron, Lithium (But didn't have any withdrawal).

 

Detoxed Opiates in 2007, pretty much a c/t. (I'm glad I got rid of the opiates, as they almost killed me).

I was also an alcoholic. I feel lucky to even be alive, looking back at it.

 

Klonopin, will not do this again, sent me into psychosis+seizure. This is why we should taper :(

 

Tried to c/t Risperdal :( was a no no. Will have to taper that later.

 

You have got a lot of great advice  :thumbsup:

 

Hang in there, Mary.

 

Will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

 

Sigma.

 

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Mary,

 

I know several people that were CT several times, (one lady 5 times in a row, she is fine after about 2 years but still has some physical stuff left) sometimes they were on other pills or booze but they healed up just fine. Hang in there the brain is resilient.

 

love

ari

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Thanks ONCE AGAIN CC!!!  Love ya dear!  Hope to connect soon!  The other day I couldn't hear your message...

 

Love,

Mary

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When I first found BenzoBuddies after a cold turkey, I was really all messed up. The brain fog was unbelievable, to say the least.

 

I look back at some of my old postings, and am amazed that I couldn't even remember how to do the spacing to start a new paragraph.

 

It will all come back to you. I wish you all the best!

 

pj

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Thanks ONCE AGAIN CC!!!  Love ya dear!  Hope to connect soon!  The other day I couldn't hear your message...

 

Love,

Mary

 

Oh sorry, I need to speak up next time :P I'm too soft spoken.

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